I'mma bumping this motherfucka rite now.
but seriously I used the goddamn search button, I must be like the first newb ever to do so (on the escapist).
as for life changing moments, I'd like to believe mine was atad too deep. spiritual even.
Anyway, my uncle and my grandfather were staying up in a cabin in Maine. there's nothing really bad about the state, pretty subtle actually, problem is due the weather (especially on Christmas) there's not really much to do but stay inside and wait till the snow dies out to clear some walking space. with that said after I shoveled the frozen earth four time in the same hour the old men decide we embark on some hunting.
At the time I was always against taking the life of another in any and all situations. human or not. while I was preaching my bible school story to my folks as we drove up to the hunting grounds I grew more disgusted with myself until I was given my first weapon. it was a polished ruger77. all my bitching about animal rights were completely silenced. my uncle chuckled about how me being quite meant I was a pussy. I wanted to kick him but in truth I wasn't all that afraid. I don't even think I was fearful of the weapon. for a second when I grasped it in my hands...I thought I'd found my missing limb for the first time. I felt completely different...
come about an hour later I was feeling rather proud of my death toll of 4 deer and a squirrel. My folks and even other hunters complimented my aim. I felt in control, totally in demand of my power. and finally I came down to my set of mammals. a simple mommy and son. I took down the mother hesitantly, stagger for about 2 seconds before ending her life 3 bullets to the neck.
then I turn the child. I kept telling myself this would be easy since the kid wasn't moving so I taunted him by shooting around him first. yet the deer sat perfectly still. I was losing my patience and advanced with my rifle at the ready, ignoring my grandfather's swears to return. I shat bricks when I realized that my prey was missing 2 front limbs. to be honest I felt like a dick. sure, I've had my laugh at kids who's heads were 4 sizes to big but this wasn't some pass-n-by laugh. the deer seemed rather small to be honest. somewhat unshaven. my folks walked up to me and told me that I've had just about enough. I turned to them and asked to wrap up with the crippled deer. from what I observed, the poor kid wasn't gonna last long anyways.
we drove back to the shack in silence. when I got my 1,000 I gave it all away to my mom. I felt I didn't deserve the money and I knew my mother was coming up short on bills.
in reflection, I think anyone can kill at any given time so we should all learn to be self-conscious of our self. as far as I'm concerned, taking a life should only be my business if I feel threatened. I don't know but sometimes there's something assuring know that animals, although closer to death then most humans are ever in are as close to nature as anything human creation will ever invent in it's history.
) and immediately called 911 (we lived in Russia so it wasn't exactly 911). The doctors arrived and made me throw up (I still remember it :S). Man that was really close :/
