Jimquisition: Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story
- Thread starter Jimothy Sterling
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I read this on Destructoid, made me cringe 
- The very best of British humour, good ol' satire. This is the best way to convey a message about those crying out with that stupid argument, Mass Effect makes people do gay things.
Nice one, Jim - very disturbing but epic nonetheless.
- The very best of British humour, good ol' satire. This is the best way to convey a message about those crying out with that stupid argument, Mass Effect makes people do gay things.Nice one, Jim - very disturbing but epic nonetheless.
Good points Jim I like the satire but it doesn't avert the fact that Mass Effect 3 is looking like a sinking ship in so many aspects that have nothing to do with badly written gay romance options (some assumption there but since all the other romances in modern Bioware titles are so bad it leads me to believe the trend won't be broken)
Did you read the rest of the post?Varya said:
Anyway, for 1 to 4, yeah, and you can roleplay Shepard is the incarnation of Zeus and likes to get into anyfreking thing but he only realized that after ME2, right? And it is fine, but if that went into the game it would be retconning which I particulary don't like. Yeah, he can have sex with whatever or do whatever the writer wants, if it's well written go ahead, still if in 200+ hours of gameplay he didn't showed the slightest interest in having man to man sex and then in the third installment he does, it is a retcon, and while I don't mind gay options and in general i am glad they are occuring in videogames that have heterosexual and lesbian options, for me retcons are fugly.
As for 5... Garrus? Have you seen his morphology? I mean it certanly beats doing Grunt but his skin looks like sandpaper and his visible orifices... well, i guess there are ultra thick condoms and lots of high tech lube in ME world... but no, wouldn't be my first choice.
I love you Jim, I really do. That was amazing. Seriously, stop doing the Jimquisition, start writing more slash stories.
He really gets into the expression of his points. I approve. Great job Jim.
This reminds me of Dragon Age 2, and certain young men getting annoyed at all the gay in that one forceful character.
This reminds me of Dragon Age 2, and certain young men getting annoyed at all the gay in that one forceful character.
I skimmed it to be honest, it's in the middle of the night here. I was just latching on to a quote to make my point.Tanakh said:
Still, I don't think it's a retcon unless you play it as one. As I said, if you start it at three, it's all good, so let the new players have the option, yes? (bah, grammar are stupids anyway) and then it's kind of dicksih (pun intended) to withhold the dong from the player who have played their Sheppard through the years but secretly wanted the badonkadonkdonk. And it's still entirely possible to set out with the intention to have Shepard realise he's been living a lie at the moment he caught Garrus arm after defeating the ME2 boss. So yes, you can still play it as a retcon, but you can also retcon your own story by saying that the Paragon shit was only an act and play the last game as a Renegade. So the real shame lies in That you can't play as (openly) gay in 1 and 2, and that's a bad reason for not being ablemto do it in 3.
And yes, Garrus, that voice makes my pants tingly. The pain is worth it
Agreed. And let us all thank the gods for Jim Sterling. ^^D34dM4n said:
Actually, it isn't Bioware's fault. They tried to have homosexual options in ME1 (the code is still in there, half done) but the guy who did the motion capture for Male Shep (some sort of Underwear model, I believe?) threw a hissy fit about anything "gay" being associated with him and threatened to not let them use his face for Shepard if they made it possible for Male Shep to be gay.Exterminas said:
Unable to have gay Male Shep, Bioware removed Ashley from Femshep's options to make things fair.
They tried again in ME2 (again, the options are in the code, but unfinished) but hit the same wall from Mr. Underpants model.
However, since ME3 is the last game with Shepard in it, they no longer have to give a fuck about pissing Mr. Underpants off. Hence the gay options in ME3.
My Femshep is actually pretty specific about only dating one girl at a time (she's gay - Liara, Kelly, and (hopefully) Tali... or maybe Liara again, I can't decide).LazyAza said:
However, my Male Shep is a total slut. Too bad you're only allowed to sleep with one crew member per game (unlike, say, Dragon Age) because, if he could, my Male Shep would work his way through every female crew member and half of the men too.
I played my Male Shep as my male DA:O character and managed to sleep with all four romancable party members before the end. I ended with Morrigan because he and she fit so well together. Also, it was hilarious when Leliana suspected I was cheating on her. I kept her happy on total bullshit while continuing to sleep with Morrigan. My Male Shep/Hero of Fereldin is a total Renegade bastard. ^^ I love him.
It is very graphic satire that I didn't choose to finish listening to because I don't need those kind of images in my head.Rainboq said:
I didn't mean puking in the literal sense, obviously.
That quickly became ironic when you made the assumption that Jim is left-wing because he isn't offended by Bioware putting male gay characters in a game they created. Beating up straw men indeed. In actuality Jim is very much a libertarian which was still pretty much on the right when I last checked.Therumancer said:
Also a survey made in the US 2010 had 3.5% self-identify as homo- or bisexual (usually the number of people admitting to having had sex with someone of their own gender is higher but I couldn't find recent statistics on that) instead of 0.1%. But I guess that's fairly close you were only off by 3500%.
Also what do you know about Bioware's motivations? Unless you were at the meeting where they went:
Bioware person 1: "Oh yeah and we need to make a male gay romance option because the entitlement of the gay rights movement is somehow forcing us."
Bioware person 2: "But what about the poor non-homosexuals who will all feel sick to their stomachs about the idea that one of the male characters might enjoy sex with another man. Because all heterosexuals feel that way and them not wanting the LGB community to be represented in our game because the idea upsets them is totally not entitlement because of reasons."
Bioware person 1: "I know I want to stand by their side as they are truly victims, true sufferers in this whole affair but somehow the gay rights movement is forcing us."
Unless you were at that meeting, or Bioware released a really passive aggressive press release stating that this was the case that I missed, I have no idea how you would know why Bioware did this.