Jimquisition: Will Grand Theft Auto V Have No Balls?

[Sylocat]

I still maintain that GTA4 would have been perfect if they had done the exact same writing, game-world programming, &c., that they did with the final product, but kept the color palette and play controls (or at least, the driving mechanics) from the earlier games. If they hadn't felt the need to use visual shorthand to say, "No, really, we're doing something Mature? and Deep? this time," and simply used the colorful platform to tell the intricate and meaningful story that they wound up telling.

Heck, they wouldn't even have needed to remove the "grit" theme, just have the dirt be layered across more colorful objects. It could have been an artistic statement in itself; the bright and colorful fantasy of the American Dream getting tarnished by the degradation of reality. And had more colorful neon lights at nighttime.

(of course, I also think that GTA4's game engine... with the combat removed, obviously... could make a kickass Harvest Moon game)

 

[MB202]

So basically, with GTA and Saint's Row, it's like having your cake, and eating it, too.

 

[mjc0961]

And that was his mention of Red Dead Redemption.
The main character of that game was a mentally five-year old, unlikeable, irresponsible, egocentric sociopathic fuckwit. I could have enjoyed the game, had not John F. Marston messed it all up with his whining and bitching, paired with an almost aggressively stupid ignorance of the misery of the people around him because he was so sunken in his own (uninteresting) fate.
He single-handedly fucks over (sorry, there is no other word for that) a torn country by fighting for both sides simultaneously, then acts all surprised when one side "betrays" him and so he "joins" (har, har) the other side, killing thousands of people in the process, all just because he wants to shoot one single guy. Way to go.
And furthermore, the guy is a tool. EVERY SINGLE PERSON he encounters on his travels has something for him to do, be it feeding them breakfast or shooting their grandmother, and he groans and bitches and whines and then he STILL does it. And when he finally got his wife back, she just bitchslaps him and he DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING COMPLAIN. And the game is not over, which is even worse.
This is NOT good storytelling. John Marston was the first character I ever played which I badly wanted to die at the end of the game. And it was a shame, in a way, because there were a bunch of interesting topics and plot points, which were all ruined by either John "Cry me a river" Marston, one of his entourage of dickheads or the failed attempt to include some "funny lines" (I'm looking at you, Irish).
And while all this angsty, whiny, cringeworthy drama is going on in the brackground, we can shoot people and wildlife, play a variety of uninteresting games, shoot criminals, pick flowers, kill people in duels and most importantly MURDER DUDES.
John Marston is a sociopath, and even worse, a narcisstic sociopath.
And because the game tried to be gritty, "realistic" and even laughably political at times, the aforementioned non-cutscene bits seemed weirdly out of place, because we know that Johnnyboy is a tool and a *****, despite his cool pose while he shoots another dude who (rightfully) accuses him of cheating at poker.

So, you didn't pay attention at all to the game's story, did you? You know why Marston is working for both sides in Mexico? Because both sides promise that they can get him Bill, which is all he wants. Why does he want Bill? Because John is all kinds of bad things? No! Maybe it's because some corrupt government agents kidnapped his family and are threatening to kill them if he doesn't do what they ask. Yes, damn you John, you miserable piece of trash, how dare you care about your family's safety! And then you say that the game doesn't end when you find is family and that it's not good storytelling? It's damn great storytelling. The point of all the family missions at the end of the game is to drive home the point that this is what John has been working towards all this time. He's not just some nutjob running around killing people because what else is he going to do with his time like Tommy Vercetti or the Saints Row character. He's just some guy who wants to give up his old gangster life and try to do right by his family, and that's the point of all those missions at the end of the game. It's damn good storytelling, and you not wanting to see the point of something doesn't change that.

And then you claim he was cheating at poker. I don't know what mission you played, but in the mission I played, he certainly was not cheating at poker. And even if he had been (which he wasn't), what would you have preferred happen? Would you have liked it better if John had just said "Yep, I was cheating, go ahead and kill me. It's cool." and then the game ends right there? Now that would be bad storytelling.

 

[The Great JT]

My problem with GTA isn't that it's getting tame. My problem is that the controls are ass.

 

[blindthrall]

Postal had more balls than any of em.

 

[mjc0961]

I didn't have a problem with GTA4s lack of stupidity. I just din't want to have to go to boring titty bars, out to lunch, bowling, play pool or fly Brucie around the city with his sluts du jour.

Then why did you? Aside from a very few missions, you can pretty much hang up and cancel on all your "friends" with little consequence. The only friend worth sucking up to is Little Jacob, and you still don't even need to take him out all that much. Do his side jobs of delivering drugs and bam, mobile gun store for you. Roman is also useful if you want free taxis, but as he's your cousin, it's super easy to suck up to him. Everyone else can pretty much be ignored if you want because they don't have interesting benefits. Depending on how much story you care about, you might miss interesting tidbits during the driving conversations on those little going out with friends events, but you can still safely ignore them and not miss anything super important.

Point is, if you want to play GTA IV without going out with Niko's friends, then play it without going out with his friends. It's very rarely forced upon you.

 

[McMullen]

You know what? You've changed my mind Jim. You're right, RDR and LA Noire were better for their more serious take, and GTAIV did give me a lot to think about. I didn't have as much fun with the gameplay as Saint's Row, but the story was pretty good, if a little depressing at times. If they can make the gameplay as engaging as RDR and get rid of the "Niko it's your cazan" crap, it'll hopefully turn out just as well.

Thanks.

 

[DarkRyter]

First Jimquisition I've ever seen.

It's a pretty good first impression.

 

[Baresark]

It doesn't really matter that GTA has matured (haha, what a funny concept, just wounding with your gun is somehow more mature than killing). They are abandoning the niche that made them famous, but the market works so that the void left behind would be filled by somebody. I don't care who fills it. As a matter of fact, I would hope that it got filled by somebody more talented than either company.

 

[Littaly]

I admit, the giant dildo (which according to my spell checker, apparently isn't a word) prop, caught me by surprise, damn that was funny ^^

 

[Boba Frag]

Great video, Jim. Red Dead Redemption was actually my first intro a Rockstar game and I loved it because it genuinely surprised me at how mature it was.
And I could still ride like the wind being chased by deputies with about four teeth between them

I was going to ask where in the blue hell you got that.... thing.... but I think it's one of those times I'm going to leave well enough alone....

 

[Michael Hirst]

he's definitely right about Saints Row 2 filling the immature gap left by GTA 4. It's also my favourite of the 2 as well. It's also why I probably wont bother with GTA 5 and instead just buy Saints Row 3.

 

[Kenjitsuka]

Okay, did Volition give you that amazingly long dildo, or what?

 

[no oneder]

Jesus, when will someone give this guy a proper set instead of those sheets he hangs from the wall. That's just dreadful.

 

[newwiseman]

Damn, now I have to go out and buy a giant purple dildo with a sword hilt,.. I'm not actually sure why but I have to have one.

 

[SidingWithTheEnemy]

Good job Jim, I completely agree that a nice dark storyline is appreciated but if my cousin s*cks the way Roman does I just want to shoot him in the face or mabye just want to leave him alone and have some fun without him or beat him up with a giant dildo baseball bat.

 

[Coldster]

Well I'm glad I'm just like you Jim. I loved the GTA games I own (San Andreas, GTA4) and I also love Saints Row 1 and 2. Hoping to see both series continue on being very enjoyable.

 

[Callate]

Sure, I'm glad the genre can move in both directions. But I think as long as you can go to a mission marker on a map with no idea what you're volunteering for and come out with a mission from which you cannot advance the story until you kill a dozen people, the "moral" trappings of GTA are going to remain somewhat laughable. (Yes, I know there were missions that enabled you to choose a merciful route in GTA IV, but they were far in the minority.)

 

[Alar]

Is this video freezing for anyone else at 1:45?

Yeah, view it in standard quality for the rest of it.

And that's actually an interesting point; having never played GTA IV, I never realised the direction the series had taken. I'm intrigued as to what Rockstar will do with GTA V.

I'd rather not. I'd prefer that it work in high quality, thank you. :\

Suppose I'll come back and watch this tomorrow!