Just who is Santa?

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Jovlo

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May 12, 2008
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massau said:
i speak Dutch and santa is a holy man named Nicolaas van Myra he had given some money to 3 children and he had putted some money in the kids there shoes and than he helpt some other poor people
Wasn't he the bishop of Myra in Turkey?
They made into a saint because he once threw gold through the window of a poor family's house the night before they would sell their children as slaves.
That's where the whole present giving thing comes from.
 

Skeleon

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Nov 2, 2007
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A buddy sent me these links, I guess this'll explain everything you need to know about Santa.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUiDDWi8k1o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z4OvK3Vn44&feature=related
 

F_demon

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Jun 6, 2008
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And Sinterklaas is (probably) from Saint Nicholas of Myra, a 4th century bishop from modern day Turkey who was buried in Italy. The modern Dutch version dates back from 1850. The helpers (zwarte pieten/Black Peter) are a combination of Italian chimneysweepers and the Moors. Only since the second world war, with the liberation of Holland, the Canadians changed it from a single helper to a group of helpers. They have roughly the same roles as the elves.
Because of a misunderstanding Italy and Spain were mixed up. (they were both to be inherited by Filips II)

Through New Amsterdam (Modern day New York) it was introduced into North America. From 1866 the modern representation of Santa appeared in a magazine and from 1930 the Coca Cola company popularized it. Though they were not the first to use it in a commercial.

For any more information Wikipedia - Santa Claus [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus] is your friend. ;)

I think the whole Santa verse sounds like a kind of Big Brother...
@Incredible Bullshitting Man: That was exactly the comic I was thinking of. :D
 

Calobi

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Dec 29, 2007
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E-mantheseeker said:
...so who, or what is Santa Claus supposed to be? A demon, an omnipotent being, something entirely different?
He's clearly the CIA or some other alphabet organization. Taps in all the homes of all the people everywhere.
 

Davey Woo

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Jan 9, 2009
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The whole "he knows what you're doing" thing was designed to keep kids in check, because the belief is if you're good Santa comes and gives you PRESSIES whereas if you're bad you get no PRESSIES, so you may aswell be good because you get PRESSIES
 

Skeleon

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Davey Woo said:
The whole "he knows what you're doing" thing was designed to keep kids in check, because the belief is if you're good Santa comes and gives you PRESSIES whereas if you're bad you get no PRESSIES, so you may aswell be good because you get PRESSIES
In fact, you'll get hit with a birch if you've been naughty.
Another reason to be good, I guess.
 

hopeneverdies

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Oct 1, 2008
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He watches you all the time
He breaks into your house and leaves stuff behind
Santa is either a pedo or a genie
 

the_hessian

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Jan 14, 2009
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mrkittles said:
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

Santa: harmless present giver or CIA spook?
The Immortal Sam Fisher...

No! Wait! I have it!!! Santa is Tom Clancy!!!
 

Pink dragon

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Apr 14, 2009
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Has anyone thought thath maybe Santa is a pedofile ?
Well he likes to spy on little children .....
 

jebussaves88

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May 4, 2008
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"He sees you when you're sleeping (Thanks to secret entrances and night vision)
He knows when you're awake (Your body temperature drastically increases as you awake)
He knows if you've been bad or good (by inspecting your bed sheets and criminal record)
So be good for goodness sake! (I'd usually say "fucks sake", but there are children here)
O! You better watch out! (Not that it'll do you any good)
You better not cry (My motion detecting cameras can pick up your delicious salty tears)
Better not pout (It makes you a bigger target when you face sideways.
I'm telling you why (Only to install fear in my pray)
Santa Claus is coming to town" (Correction, I got here half an hour ago kid)

One badass muthaluva with high cost technology on hand. That's who.
 

The_Anomaly

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Dec 11, 2008
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Pink dragon said:
Has anyone thought thath maybe Santa is a pedofile ?
Well he likes to spy on little children .....
Thought about it, but why do we make the milk and cookies? Why doesn't he make them so he could spike them?
 

Ignignoct

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Feb 14, 2009
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E-mantheseeker said:
One day while randomly humming the tune of "Santa Claus is coming to town" I thought about the words in the song, specifically:

"He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town"


mind you, I don't want this to become a religious debate, but I couldn't help but wonder, "Is Santa supposed to be a god?"

Obviously Santa has the ability to do things a human shouldn't be able to do, so who, or what is Santa Claus supposed to be? A demon, an omnipotent being, something entirely different?
He certainly serves as an excellent METAPHOR for the Judeo-Christian God, although the ratio is skewed when you compare GETTING a lump of coal vs eternal damnation without chance of redemption.

I watched the Boondocks, the Christmas episode, and decided that one of the lyrics, OUT OF CONTEXT, made perfect sense and even transcended base Christianity.

"Be good for goodness sake!"

For the sake of goodness, be good. Not for fear of Hell, or pandering for Heaven, but for the sake of being good, be good.

I like it.


Click the link for the TL;DR. Santa is training-wheels for total Christianity. Introductory course.