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@Steeple: I answer your criticism... WITH ANOTHER POEM!
<spoiler=Chocolate>Why was I drawn to this bar of chocolate?
I certainly don?t want to eat it
I thought I?d enjoy it but? no
I used to eat so many of you, without a single care
Constant devour, I loved it
But not anymore
I wonder should I eat you as constantly as I did
Or to merely have you rarely, and enjoy you
I suppose it?s just another sick joke that is my life
I really just don?t feel able to eat you
It may perhaps make my peers happy but? ugh
I think I?ll just give up
<spoiler=Chocolate>Why was I drawn to this bar of chocolate?
I certainly don?t want to eat it
I thought I?d enjoy it but? no
I used to eat so many of you, without a single care
Constant devour, I loved it
But not anymore
I wonder should I eat you as constantly as I did
Or to merely have you rarely, and enjoy you
I suppose it?s just another sick joke that is my life
I really just don?t feel able to eat you
It may perhaps make my peers happy but? ugh
I think I?ll just give up
@mParadox: mKay, I write them to deter depression so I don't think it's likely that i'll stop
@Steeple: Oh um... yeah sure >.>
(that poem is a general response to your views of it, I just typed it up quickly and it has deeper meaning if you care to find it...)
@Steeple: Oh um... yeah sure >.>
(that poem is a general response to your views of it, I just typed it up quickly and it has deeper meaning if you care to find it...)
@thundero: let me ask you this: do you write because you enjoy writing, or because you have something to express?
I always felt that this song's lyrics were extremely powerful, and you should note he doesnt say "he used drugs/stabbed a person/got raped", but actually tells it as a small story and brings it slowly... I just think it's beautifully done...
@mParadox: Oh, Chocolate wasn't really meant to be good, it was just to show @Steeple: the problems with his criticism, in a way that establishes his criticisms, it's to one-up him basically 
As for you, read this:
<spoiler=Untitled>Sitting around in a damp, gloomy park
Wondering what the point is in continuing
Certain people have tried to show me that I shouldn't care, yet again
But nonetheless I continue to label them as friends
In many ways knowing there are those crazy enough to care for me
Is worse then being under the impression that there aren't
On one side of life, I have all the cons of friends
On the other, the same but with enemies
It just doesn't seem that anyone realises just how much I detest lonliness
Or, just how much I crave it
Ultimately, life is a bad box of chocolates from your mother
It?s awful, but I continue eating them just to avoid disappointment
So, I must simply accept that master twenty two is in control of my life
And move on
I wrote that earlier today...
As for you, read this:
<spoiler=Untitled>Sitting around in a damp, gloomy park
Wondering what the point is in continuing
Certain people have tried to show me that I shouldn't care, yet again
But nonetheless I continue to label them as friends
In many ways knowing there are those crazy enough to care for me
Is worse then being under the impression that there aren't
On one side of life, I have all the cons of friends
On the other, the same but with enemies
It just doesn't seem that anyone realises just how much I detest lonliness
Or, just how much I crave it
Ultimately, life is a bad box of chocolates from your mother
It?s awful, but I continue eating them just to avoid disappointment
So, I must simply accept that master twenty two is in control of my life
And move on
I wrote that earlier today...
@Steeple: No see, the point of that chocolate was that the chocolate was me writing poems, I enjoy writing poems the way I do it, and even if I could do it properly with images and all, I just don't want to, it's not fun and really I don't care that much
So to answer your question, I just enjoy writing, i'd like others to see my feelings I suppose but I have no intention of being a professional poet so I just write them the way I like to
So to answer your question, I just enjoy writing, i'd like others to see my feelings I suppose but I have no intention of being a professional poet so I just write them the way I like to
I'd never say to you that you should write in any way that you wont consider fun! it's just that you asked our opinion on that poem, and pushed quite a bit, so I gave you my thoughts on what I read...Thundero13 said:@Steeple: No see, the point of that chocolate was that the chocolate was me writing poems, I enjoy writing poems the way I do it, and even if I could do it properly with images and all, I just don't want to, it's not fun and really I don't care that much
So to answer your question, I just enjoy writing, i'd like others to see my feelings I suppose but I have no intention of being a professional poet so I just write them the way I like to
@steeple: Aight, I won't force you to read any more if ya don't want to, thanks for he constructive criticism but, as was said I just don't think I can >.<
@mParadox: =D It is? *dances around in happiness*
@mParadox: =D It is? *dances around in happiness*
Now, this poem throws out any notion of structure but you may like it anyway:
<spoiler=Monster>Previously, when I and few had gathered,
You were a subject of much conversation,
They said you are a beast, reptilian in nature,
A humourless robot who sways as she walks
Your eyes, a gaze, your face, a blank stare
You speak with a shout that pierces the heavens
Clearly, you are one to avoid
Yet now, here you are, you are no monster
And is that a smile I see upon your face?
How could you be interpreted as such a crone,
After all, you are merely a woman
Dare I say, a nice woman?
But, in the next gathering, when you are mentioned,
I shall discard these thoughts and continue,
To refer to you as I have been, that is,
An awful, vile, ugly, despicable witch
Nothing shall change and nothing shall upset me
...
I know, I said "I and few", move along now
<spoiler=Monster>Previously, when I and few had gathered,
You were a subject of much conversation,
They said you are a beast, reptilian in nature,
A humourless robot who sways as she walks
Your eyes, a gaze, your face, a blank stare
You speak with a shout that pierces the heavens
Clearly, you are one to avoid
Yet now, here you are, you are no monster
And is that a smile I see upon your face?
How could you be interpreted as such a crone,
After all, you are merely a woman
Dare I say, a nice woman?
But, in the next gathering, when you are mentioned,
I shall discard these thoughts and continue,
To refer to you as I have been, that is,
An awful, vile, ugly, despicable witch
Nothing shall change and nothing shall upset me
...
I know, I said "I and few", move along now