No ive never been kicked out of anything because im a perfectly obeying sheep that wears societies leash with a smile.
Leave the shop? Wait, no, stop!
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Well, here's an interesting one. Or at least I think it's interesting.
A front-line supervisor at a supermarket once followed me into the parking lot after I'd left the store, demanding that I give him back the "cigarettes I'd stolen." I told him I didn't smoke and I certainly didn't steal any cigarettes - or anything else for that matter.
He accused me again of stealing, saying one of the checkout clerks had seen me. I offered to let him search the bags of food I'd bought. He snapped, "All right, asshole, just cut the bullshit and just give me the cigarettes." I offered to let him search me. I offered to let him call the police and have them search me, my possessions, my car, whatever.
He just kept getting more and more insulting, calling me a thief and a liar, insisting I had taken the cigarettes and I had to give them back.
Finally I said, "all right, let's go back into the store and you can call the cops and have them search me."
He just stomped off in frustration and I followed him back into the store, where he proceeded to tell me to get the hell out or he was going to call the police...which is exactly what I had said he could do anyway, of course, but that was beside the point.
Then one of the checkout girls said to him, "So did you catch that guy?"
The look on his face was priceless as he paused for a couple seconds in obvious confusion, then said to her, "Isn't this him?"
"No," she replied testily, "I said the black guy with glasses in a jacket, not a guy with glasses in a black jacket!"
Dead silence for several seconds.
Until I said very calmly, "Now, could I possibly speak to the store manager, please?"
Boy, did that ever feel good when Mr. Front-Line Supervisor got his ass handed to him by the manager a few minutes later.
A front-line supervisor at a supermarket once followed me into the parking lot after I'd left the store, demanding that I give him back the "cigarettes I'd stolen." I told him I didn't smoke and I certainly didn't steal any cigarettes - or anything else for that matter.
He accused me again of stealing, saying one of the checkout clerks had seen me. I offered to let him search the bags of food I'd bought. He snapped, "All right, asshole, just cut the bullshit and just give me the cigarettes." I offered to let him search me. I offered to let him call the police and have them search me, my possessions, my car, whatever.
He just kept getting more and more insulting, calling me a thief and a liar, insisting I had taken the cigarettes and I had to give them back.
Finally I said, "all right, let's go back into the store and you can call the cops and have them search me."
He just stomped off in frustration and I followed him back into the store, where he proceeded to tell me to get the hell out or he was going to call the police...which is exactly what I had said he could do anyway, of course, but that was beside the point.
Then one of the checkout girls said to him, "So did you catch that guy?"
The look on his face was priceless as he paused for a couple seconds in obvious confusion, then said to her, "Isn't this him?"
"No," she replied testily, "I said the black guy with glasses in a jacket, not a guy with glasses in a black jacket!"
Dead silence for several seconds.
Until I said very calmly, "Now, could I possibly speak to the store manager, please?"
Boy, did that ever feel good when Mr. Front-Line Supervisor got his ass handed to him by the manager a few minutes later.
And he failed. Massively. If no one laughs, it isn't funny.ProtoChimp said:Dude I don't think you should report him, he was just trying to be funny.killer-corkonian said:What...FastFoot92 said:
The fuck.
Are you talking about? When did I say I was from Iraq?! I'm gonna go check the rules and see if I can report you for racism or something like that, actually, because I really want to.
EDIT:
OK:
I'm pressing the big red button.
OT: I've never been kicked out of anywhere but that's because I tend to operate with two strategies: Befriend the Clerk or Shock and Awe.
Befriending basically happens in game and movie places. It's nothing more than a chat that can go on for a long time and hold up one huge line but it mostly happens by accident.
Shock and Awe is by far the most fun and is best done with something very subtle. Next time you buy anything (supermarkets work best for this I find) ask the person on the till for some customer abuse. Just ask that being dead serious and only repeat yourself once before saying "Never mind, thank you very much!". Obviously, if they do abuse you, just smile and thank them and leave. The best story I have for that was I was in a pie shop and asked for some customer abuse. The guy serving me slammed the pie on the counter, squeezed it in the bag so it was all fucked up and said "There ya go you fat fucker, piss off".
I got kicked out of a convenience store for turning off all the demonstrational DVDs and eating up all of their popcorn.
Oh, and setting all the cellphones to "testing modus" is also a great way to get yourself booted out of any electronics store.
Oh, and setting all the cellphones to "testing modus" is also a great way to get yourself booted out of any electronics store.
Haha I like this. This also works for the combination of red tank top, aviator glasses, jogging bottoms and shiney shoes.anthony87 said:
The only time I got kicked out of anywhere was totally my friends and my fault. It was also the only time I have ever been completely drunk. We went Karaokeing and brought along a bottle of Smirnoff Raspberry Vodka (never buy that, ever). It ended when apparently my friend stood on the TV... The Korean owner burst in and yelled at us to get out, then lectured us how he was once like us, so he wouldn't fine us the $200 for bringing in outside alcohol.
My best friend and I were asked to leave a Wal-Mart because we found some weights that you strap onto your ankles when you go jogging or something and we strapped them all up and down our legs and started playing tag around the store
Have not really been kicked out of a store since i was about 16ish
Sat on the floor at hmv with a few friends and watched almost an entire movie before getting kicked out ( what we were bored and had no money)
kicked out of a few pubs ( mostly not my fault )
Kicked out of local supermarkets for hosting a championship trolley race with quite a few people ( ended with broken bones )
and I'm not allowed in any of the mobile phone stores in the nearby town ( long story behind that one / though the ban may have wore enough by now its been a few years )
Sat on the floor at hmv with a few friends and watched almost an entire movie before getting kicked out ( what we were bored and had no money)
kicked out of a few pubs ( mostly not my fault )
Kicked out of local supermarkets for hosting a championship trolley race with quite a few people ( ended with broken bones )
and I'm not allowed in any of the mobile phone stores in the nearby town ( long story behind that one / though the ban may have wore enough by now its been a few years )
This is why I love my theater, even when it is painfully obvious you are sneaking shit in, they don't care.Erana said:
Ive been kicked out of a lot of clubs... every time for getting too drunk with friends, or leaving because most of my friends got kicked out. The time we had to carry my friend Nils out was actually a fun, bonding experience for me and my friends when I started college.
I've been followed around in pharmacies before when I'm sick and go shamble out to one for some medicine. Depending on what I'm sick with or how fucked up I am from being sore or lack of sleep... I can understand that I would look like an addict
I've been followed around in pharmacies before when I'm sick and go shamble out to one for some medicine. Depending on what I'm sick with or how fucked up I am from being sore or lack of sleep... I can understand that I would look like an addict