Let us talk politics

[Rolling Thunder]

Candy? My good sir Twilight, we hardly pay those peasants enough to buy bread, let alone candy. Might I advise you to sit down and have some scotch. Yes, I know the sun's barely up, but it's good for the heart, don'cher'know.

Back to the constitution, eh? A very suspect document, don't you agree Jenkins? Yes, good man, now fetch me my coat. Do mind Earl Hey Joe, he's not feeling himself. Anyway, what was I saying? oh yes, the constitution. A document written by men whose first act was to hurl perfectly good tea into a harbour. A despicable and nefarious crime, that struck against the very heart and soul of private venture! A monstrous, unnatural act of perfidry and theft! I should know, it was my damned tea. (Jenkins: And the harbour, too, sir). Yes, Jenkins, and the harbour as well. Thine constition was not, in the words of the marevelous fellow Swift: Not intended to rule you, but guide you. The writers did not claim authority and suzeranity over America from henceforth. They did not immortalise themselves as the perpetuators and possessors of America. Rather, they laid down their ideals, and let you to do as you liked.


Bah, this Paul fellow seems most suspect. A very disrepuatable ne'er-do-well, I say. why, I'd wager he dosen't even hunt properly!

 

[orifice]

hmm-huhumm What?
*wakes from slumber*
My word, a burning chair!
*drifts off again*
hmm bloody colonies hmmm
*snores loudly and dreams of empire*

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Ah, Marquis Orifice is here! Orifice, old boy *kicks Orifice's chair*, what would you say to a wager: I can kill more peasants with my elephant rifle than you can with a submachinegun!

 

[iseko]

I was just wondering. What does the outside world hear about the politics in belgium?

 

[orifice]

Ah, Marquis Orifice is here! Orifice, old boy *kicks Orifice's chair*, what would you say to a wager: I can kill more peasants with my elephant rifle than you can with a submachinegun!

Your on old boy!, Let us commence on the count of 3, what?

 

[Whiskyjakk]

Go steady there, old fellow! It's considered unseemly to bring up the Eastern question before, at the earliest, the fish course. Always gets on the nerves of those present who are selling opium to the Chinese!

*sinks into a deep arm chair with a large glass of port and starts telling a rambling tale of derring do involving the East India company and a company of dastardly Irish nationalists.*

 

[John Galt]

I wasn't aware that the best politicians were the British in the Victorian era.

They weren't.


*Marches in with jackbooted, banner-waving crowd, megaphone in hand.*

Ze efforts of ze Rrrussains are in vain! Dee Communistes no longer pose und threat to ze continued survival und prosperity of ze Vestern Vorld! Ze trrrue thrrreat ist ze currrent unemployment of ze vorkers. Ve need to rrrevitalize our infrastructure, und employ ze masses in public verks prrojects.

 

[Colonel Joson]

*Walks to into the room holding a glass of Scotch*

If I may give my input. Although it has a been a while. I was delighted when Mr Obama won the Election, If I may say, the Only reason I would have voted for the man was because I saw a excellent Video called John Mccain Gets Barack Rolled. It made me chuckle warmly and completlt forget about executing my idiot servant here. *Pushes A smartly dressed man forward and draws a pistol* I will teach you to forget to remove the crust on my Sandwhich *Pulls the trigger and servant drops dead*.

Forgive me Chaps it had to be done. *Sits down srinking Scotch*

 

[Lord Harrab]

My word, every one of you fellows seems to have lapsed into an upper-class English accent, splendid i say. What?

i will reseve my judgment on this new president fellow until i have seen the old boy in action.
*puts on explorer hat and monocle*

toodle-pip! I'm off to claim some third world country.

 

[Hey Joe]

I do say, the market seems to be quite titillated by this Obama plan and his promises of stimulation.

Tally-ho hip hip hooray I say!

Perhaps my stock options will be a bit firmer because of his plan to stimulate the market, and when my options are firm, I can afford to buy another chamber maid. I do say, this stimulation is firming me right up as well I do dare suggest!

 

[ElephantGuts]

So then, who's in favor of starting another revolution in Russia and taking the country over to model is as we wish? No one? Fine. I'll see you all when I'm the Emperor of Russia.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

*Looks at John Galt*

Great Scott fellow, have you just come from the nearest bar!? Gads, what an uncouth ruffian. Jenkins! Escort this fellow outside and shoot off one of his knees. No, you may not use my elephant gun. Use the Sten. And come back and remove Sir Wesker's servant. He's bleeding on the upholstery.


Well, sir Orifice, I dare say that we'll have to move our serf-killing expedition to Russia. Musn't let the side down, what-what and all that. Now, I'm-What is it Jenkins! Did you clear away that Mosely fellow? And the corpse? What? A phonecall? What a ridiculous suggestion. A true gentleman would simply send a servant to deliver a message. Oh, the White House. Well, bring me the telephone, then *Mutters darkly about ill-bred colonials*


*Jenkins arrives with an anitquated two-piece telephone.*

Good man. Yes!? Who is this? Barrack whom? What happened to that Lincoln fellow? Oh, an assassin. Terrible. Still, what do you want!? Troops? Besieging your capital? In red coats? Who's in charge? Oh, Wellington. Splendid old fellow. His nose deflects bullets, you know. What's that? You want me to call them off? My dear Mr Obama, I simply cannot call them off. Do you have any idea how long a message takes clipper to get to your nation. Telephones? Bah, Wellington dosen't use telephone-things, let alone that absurd 'radio' of which you speak. What? What's that, there seems to be some gunfire in....Oh, hello Arthur. Yes, good man, good man. Where's that Barrack fellow? Lying on the couch bleeding from a bayonet wound, eh? These colonials are quite enfeebled, what-what. Do be a good chap and put him back on. Ah, hello Mr Obama. Yes, quite. Oh do stop whimpering, a dose of tonic and you'll be good as new. What? Oh, all right, I'll tell him to come home. Put him on the 'line', if you would. Hello? Arthur? Best sew up mr Obama, loot as much as you can carry and get back here. Oh, and torch that absurd constition of there's while you're at it. 'All men are created equal', what abject bunk. Alright. See you in Cairo. Ta-ta.


Sorry about that chaps, just having old Wellington set fire to Washington. Most fun.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Damn the skies, where is everyonr?