Let's Do the Time Warp.....

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Parallel Streaks

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Jan 16, 2008
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My first post was on a If You Could Create Your Own Game thread.

"I'll get right to it, so brace yourself, my mind is a disturbing place, the only reason I haven't gone mad is because of the friendship I share with my choir of singing potatoes.

The Game is called Deadly Omens; it focuses around a bounty hunter which you can personally customise, gender, hair, eyes and all that jazz. The game is set in an alternate version of Medieval England, you work for the noble Lords of the land, being hired to dispense with Bandit Lords, troublesome Rebels who try to undermine the Monarchy, and stuff of the like. You can dispense them with many methods, such as ranged attacks, Crossbows, Bows, and throwing weapons. The second choice is to go in chopping with a variety of melee weapons, such as Axes, Hammers, Swords, even common farming tools such as Pitchforks and Hand Scythes. Your Third choice is occultism, which comes in later in the story. You can also engage in Side-Missions in towns, or just wander around the South of England freely, visiting different towns. This isn't a chore though, if you don't feel like travelling by Foot, or Horse, you can simply spend some Currency on a Coach-ride; Coaches have a chance of being stopped by Highwaymen.

Your first mission is a contract on a band of Bandits a few miles south of London, near the ocean. They are in a clearing in a small forest, you can use your starter weapons, or sneak over to them by Nightfall, when they are drunk, and push them into the Camp Fire. After a few more missions along these lines, you are contacted by a strange cult of Pagan Worshipers, who offer you extensive amounts of Gold, or you can sacrifice your gold for occult powers to help you deal with Targets. You can forge new armour depending on what type of hunting you prefer, Leather armour for Stealthy types, Plate-Mail for the hack-and-slash types, and Chain-Mail and Leather for the Ranged types. In the end of the game, you are forced to dispense with the Leader of the Pagans, who is heavily guarded by Warriors, Occult-Priests, and even a mini-boss, a fiery Multi-Clawed demonic creature. After the end of the game, you can free roam across the land, completing your side quests, and just generally Faffing About.

Thanks for reading you rare few who didn't give up half-way through ^^ And don't say "U riped off Asasin's Cr33d!111", because the gameplay differs quite drastically. If you want more info about my idea, just ask. I doubt aqnyone will seeing as I am the embodyment of newbishness."

Yes, I was verbose back then, as well.
 

Avatar Roku

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Jul 9, 2008
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orannis62 said:
I kinda get what you're saying, but I think you're over analyzing a bit. There are still plenty of big-name original games, such as Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect. Once they have sequels, however, it will be the same problem but at least they've showed that consumers are willing to buy at least some original games.

About the community itself; I'm by no means a casual gamer (it's what I do with most but not all free time) but I also like to think I'm not elite (my favorite game is Psyconauts, which all of my elite friends think is crap). However, some of my friends are very much "elite," especially one, who only plays games online and said, and I quote, "Video games aren't for fun." I had to remind myself to breathe.

I disagree with the previous posts about the unoriginal FPSes (is that the correct plural?) though. I mainly play FPSes, so my opinion is obviously biased, but FPSes can be just as original as other games. Look at the Half Life series. Those games are FPSes, they're popular, and they're fresh each time because valve at least tries to mix it up. Gravity Gun ftw. I also think that if the developers try to mix things up a bit (like in Half Life, as I said) sequels aren't necessarily more of the same. Take Call of Duty. Although each game is basically the same, Infinity Ward if finally mixing it up by bringing it to contemporary times (I say contemporary because technically, WWII is modern) and not simply rehashing old story lines. And, although the story of CoD4 is run-of-the-mill (Arab insurgents and Russians getting nuclear missiles) it used good story telling to reveal it in an interesting way.
I'm almost amazed that my first post was so mature and used such little shorthand, I was really one of the "untamed masses" when I joined.
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
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my first post was calling people douchbags for defending ZP at Xmas, you know the mash up of the year.
 

CuddlyCombine

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Sep 12, 2007
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In the Zero Punctuation review of Tomb Raider;

CuddlyCombine said:
Amazing stuff once again. You've got quite a way with words, and the animations help, too.

Oh, and to everyone who keeps screaming "Review this! Review that!", please shut up. I'm willing to bet that Yahtzee's the one with a better idea of how to write reviews.
Oh, first-post flames. And he posted after me! :D
 

Susano

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Dec 25, 2008
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bind nod no_target,buddha,bind wavehand noclip,player.additem euro 999999999999999
Im such a nerd to know all of these off by heart!
We were talking about using console in real life.
 

RAWKSTAR

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Jun 5, 2008
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"Its got to be MarioKart Wii,
What other game can you use skill at getting to pole position and then losing by a bombardment of shells? NONE I SAY!
I then curl up into a courner... and weep"

It's been awhile.
 

Lord Beautiful

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Aug 13, 2008
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I'm guessing the title is a reference to Rocky Horror. If that's the case...

Elbow sex! Elbow sex!

Sorry. Anyway, I'll go ahead and look for my post.

EDIT:
Found it. And it was about games that we wished we had finished but never did.

-Zen- said:
Chrono Trigger. I couldn't play it anymore after I played Chrono Cross. At least I got far enough to catch all of its references in Chrono Cross.
Of course, I later bought Chrono Trigger on the DS at a later date, and I eagerly beat it while the whole ice storm thing was going on down here. Having no electricity apart from that given by a small generator really limits your gaming options, but with that game in my DS, I didn't complain a bit. It kept me quite occupied in my down time.
 

Crystal Cuckoo

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Jan 6, 2009
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Crystal Cuckoo said:
While playing Left 4 Dead as a Hunter, I climbed up a tree and pounced onto Zoey, while screaming,
"WHERE'S MY SAMMICH *****?"
Wow, I was a sexist prick 4 months ago. xD
 

Neonbob

The Noble Nuker
Dec 22, 2008
25,564
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"The power to spawn monkey henchmen from your palms."
That is a truly wonderful gift. Especially if some of them were shocky monkeys.

It was a thread on unique superpowers.
 

Klagermeister

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Jun 13, 2008
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It's actually a post about Secret Gaming Confessions. It's rather long.
Telling you my video game humiliations again is gonna be hard, but here goes...

Klagermeister said:
OK, this is gonna be hard...

I still play Runescape...
I have beaten Ocarina of Time 15 times. I'm making it a goal to beat it annually until I die.
I'm the only one I know who's beaten The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.
I think the original Smash Bros. game is better than the new ones.
I think Call of Duty 4 sucks.
I think Zelda is hot (Krystal too).
I am one of the people who says Geno should have been in Smash Bros. Brawl.
I nearly murdered my friend when he returned Halo 3.
I have beaten Through the Fire and the Flames on expert in GH3.
I think Megaman is just plain awesome.
I beat Twilight Princess after playing it 8 hours a day for a week.
I beat my first video game when I was 3 (Super Mario World on the SNES).
I beat a Ninja Gaiden II boss for my friend when he got stuck.
I can't beat the final boss on either Golden Sun game.
When people say "You're a gamer nerd", I say "Thank you."
I'm obsessed with WoW, even though I don't own it.
I nearly killed Blizzard when they announced the cancellation of Starcraft Ghost.
I'm going to take great pride in kicking my kids' asses at video games when I have kids.
I always play as Robofish in TimeSplitters.
I have played plenty of hentai games. (they're addicting)
I think the flash version of Portal was better than the real one.
I'm going to get a Legend of Zelda tattoo when I grow up.
Every time I play a new game with my friends, I pwn them the first time I play it when they've owned it for weeks.

And as the coup de gras...
I have never played any Final Fantasy games!!!

And just like Swenglish, I know too much about The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. About a small Hylian boy abandoned by his mother in the woods, left to be taken care of by the Great Deku Tree and his Kokiri children. And as a thing to add, Link currently has a list of 5 chicks he's gonna have sex with. Malon, Zelda, Saria, Ruto, and Nabooru.
 

SharPhoe

The Nice-talgia Kerrick
Feb 28, 2009
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Man, my first post isn't nearly as interesting as some of these others. Sad face. D:

SharPhoe said:
Personally, I enjoyed Sonic Adventure 2 and Sonic Heroes for what they were worth. And my brothers and I actually liked playing Beyblade V-Force. We also liked Legend of Dragoon, though I'm not sure how that fared in reviews...
 

Jharry5

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Nov 1, 2008
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"As much as I love the old games, yes, it is time to put the hedgehog to sleep. Like Mario, there's not much left in them any more.

Do it before he starts to appear everywhere like Mario!"

That was my first post; it asked whether Sonic should be put to rest.

And on an unrelated note, I really hate the Time Warp song...
 

shelficon

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Apr 3, 2009
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shelficon said:
Ive got to say, Stombreaker is the worst movie ive ever seen.
Also, Pathfinder for being so obvious that i managed to point out every thing that was going to happen
Even though the same thing happened with Mutant Chronicles, i actually liked that movie
This was my (very recent) first post

It was about what we considered the worst movies of all time