Let's face it - this generation's social skills have been retarded by the internet

[Mr Cwtchy]

I wouldn't say that. My social skills have always been retarded, I can't even ask for help in school lessons. I'm probably screwed, job prospects-wise.

The internet has let me socialise with more people with less chance of totally humiliating myself.

 

[Ham_authority95]

There have always been people with debilitating shyness, but the internet allows this generation of shy people to completely withdraw and "socialize" (I use the term loosely) online where it is safe instead of facing up to their difficulties and making changes in their real lives.

And even some of those who aren't inherently shy have been affected by the internet. One of my roommates is a good example: he moved from California to Florida (where we go to school) and knows no one here. Instead of making new friends, he spends every moment he is not in class or work at home talking to friends back home on Facebook or Skype. Yes, it's good to keep in touch, but this is ridiculous - he has no life here.

The lure of the Internet is all about one thing: SAFETY. Many people are attracted to safety nets that anonymity and the separating, impersonal screen provide so they don't have to deal with difficult face-to-face encounters, whether it be making new friends, breaking up with someone, and more.

You make a point of how some people can use the internet for escapism(which is true), but I don't agree that it's make anyone shy.


Social awkwardness has always been a problem, even back in the 80s when my dad was growing up(he was one shy ************), and while the internet could and can debilitate one's social skills, it's kind of stupid to think that awkwardness didn't exist in it's current amount. Hell, with the onset of the internet, my social skills are better because it provides me with a platform to break the ice with(facebook and the like).

The reason why you've come to the conclusion that the internet has created a generation of socially inept losers is because the internet brings the "socially inept losers" together into a bigger concentration. If you look outside of the internet, I believe you'll find that there are a lot more people with normal social skills.

And as for your friend, you should take him to a party/event/anything with other people sometime so he'll meet some new people...

 

[Negatempest]

Sounds like he has a life and it's pretty busy.

Agreed. OP's friend is busy with both school and work. To not respect the fact that your friend may want to rest after his/her long day is pretty selfish. I can understand your concerns because I am also in a similar position as the OP's friend. I also have a friend who is just like the OP. After my 8 hour (9 hour if you count lunch time) I just want to get home, rest, and play some video games or watch TV.

 

[moretimethansense]

Eh, maybe a little.

For the most part I blame the parents not teaching their kids how to interact, especially this "you're special and don't let anyone tell you different" crap that has lead to a group of idiots with entitlement issues.

 

[Cypher10110]

I am probably pretty similar to your friend who went to Florida, OP. I came to university, made a small group of friends, some of which I knew before hand. Now I spend most of my time on the internet or working.
I've always considered myself shy but it's more that I prefer to make meaningful contact with few people than meaningless contact with lots of people.

AS a result I'm not the sort of person to leave a lasting impression at social gatherings, people remember me, but no-one tries to befriend me. I'm up for a laugh, and I'll go with the flow, but I don't stand out. I've met alot of people, but only people willing to hold interesting conversation interest me, and most "typical student" nights out aren't really that sort of affair.

House parties are my favourite, get drunk with people you know, meet people you don't. Have long impassioned conversations with the get-out-of-jail free card of "I was SO wasted, sorry".

Making new friends is tough, because making meaningful contact is tough. I'm pretty happy with my small group of friends, some of which I expect I'll keep in touch with for a long time.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Speaking to people on the internet counts as socialising. Making your point, invalid.

Not really, no. You just made the OP's case.

Maybe before quoting a post you should read all the previous discussion it has generated instead of treading over the same ground.

EDIT: Shit I really broke my grammar then. It's too early to be doing this.

 

[Ossian]

Without the interwebs I'd probably killed myself from crippling loneliness. I grew up very sheltered and had no social outlets.
Through MMORPGs RTSes, and other games I made friends online, and while I know now, as a 21 year old, that they don't compare at all to real friends, they kept me entertained through the dark ages, and I still keep up with one or two of them.

 

[Skinny Razor]

Chicken or egg question: Is internet culture the cause or result of declining socialization skills? Personally, as someone who grew up when the "internet" was Prodigy and bbs, it's really not any different now. Some people are shy, some people are dicks, and most people manage to survive without too many scars. I'm better at face to face communication, generally, but I do enjoy the anonymity that the internet can offer.

Of course, EVERY generation thinks the generations after them are a ragtag gaggle of slack-jawed, work-shy sociopaths. It's just the way people look at the world.

 

[Hashime]

I would agree. I am odd in the sense that I do not use social networking, I do not text or IM, I rarely even communicate through email for anything other than professional interests.

I also am very good socially in a traditional sense, I can and will talk to anyone about a large range of topics.

I have noticed that the amount of small talk that occurs between strangers has decreased significantly due to music players and text conversations, and that when a conversation starts many are uncomfortable talking face to face.

This is not a universal trend as in my experience for every antisocial iZombie there is a person to have a casual interesting conversation with.

 

[Hashime]

Uhm wow, sometimes people don't socialize in real life for other reasons. Personally I try not to because it is almost impossible to have an intelligent conversation with another 13 year old, so I often escape to the internet and talk to people of all ages about things, whether it be help with a game, science, a question on something and more. There are more than just that one reason.

That is a good point. At 13 most people I talked to were much older because it was painful talking to my peers.
At least you have the internet now.

 

[W8NKA]

socialising on the net and socialising in the real world are on two diffrent levels (I have few acounts on the internet).
On the internet it is usally that people will type to each other with silly acronims which pisses me off when i dont know wht they stand for.
In the real world people ussaly talk face to face, unless they are doing somthing... er....odd.

You maybe still socialising, becouse you are one way or another talking to some one, but the two are totally diffrent and should not be confused by the two. But net socialising is still not as good and is a bit sad compared to real world socialising.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Hell no, speaking to people on the Escapist is socializing. True enough, I'll probably never meet this people, but I'm talking to someone new.

For the not Internet occasions, not really, I've learned some good conversation points to bring up.

 

[TehCookie]

The internet is a place where socially inept people (like me) can socialize. If I'm at college and a random person starts talking to me my first thoughts are "Who are they, and why are they talking to me?" On the internet you don't have that problem, you may not know who they are but at least at sites like this you know you have a common interest and a topic to talk about.

 

[tehweave]

Oh how I wish this weren't true.

Facebook, World of Warcraft, even the escapist. I wish I could get away from it all. But it's an addiction. A true addiction that hinders me just enough that I recognize the problem, but not enough so that it truly warrants an intervention.

Fuck my life...

 

[IxionIndustries]

It's the same thing with phones. Not just the internet. Also, you haven't even stated how people's social skills HAVE been retarded. If anything, they have simply moved. Sure, they may not ride 5 miles on horseback just to talk to a woman, but it's not like they are going up to chicks on faicbook and saying "Durr u wanna see my penis? Lololol."

Therefore, your argument is invalid. Good day sir.

 

[Logic 0]

Speaking to people on the internet counts as socialising. Making your point, invalid.

But it doesn't. So many people now, that have no problem talking to others online, have a really hard time even asking for a bag while shopping. Yes, that's a bit extreme, but you get my point.

It's serious, I've gone to school with a bunch of people just like this. Barely if ever say anything in class, just stay to themselves, because all their friends are online where they can just log off the chat if they feel uncomfortable.

I used to be just like that but I got better, made some friends, and now I'm a pretty sociable guy ... just not with much to say.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I tend to only socialize online because people in real life suck and tend to be total assoholics. That, and I never learned proper social skills, so I became a hikikomori by proxy.

Basically, I play this generalization straight.

 

[pharaoh malik]

There have always been people with debilitating shyness, but the internet allows this generation of shy people to completely withdraw and "socialize" (I use the term loosely) online where it is safe instead of facing up to their difficulties and making changes in their real lives.

And even some of those who aren't inherently shy have been affected by the internet. One of my roommates is a good example: he moved from California to Florida (where we go to school) and knows no one here. Instead of making new friends, he spends every moment he is not in class or work at home talking to friends back home on Facebook or Skype. Yes, it's good to keep in touch, but this is ridiculous - he has no life here.

The lure of the Internet is all about one thing: SAFETY. Many people are attracted to safety nets that anonymity and the separating, impersonal screen provide so they don't have to deal with difficult face-to-face encounters, whether it be making new friends, breaking up with someone, and more.

It's true. I really hate it. I've found myself falling victim to this very epidemic. I used to be a social little bugger and as time passes I've become more and more anti social. I've been going to my university for almost four years now and I don't have any friends. I'm a pretty likeable person, I can be funny and I just can't rationalize why I don't have any friends -- other than the fact that I've become so uncomfortable with being myself outside of the internet. u_u It's kind of depressing really.

I wish people would start socializing the way we used to. I mean -- face to face. I really feel deprived of meeting my social needs because I don't have contact with other people very often the way I'd like to. Hell, even phone calls beat the whole talking through texts and the internet. I mean humans are a social species for goodness sake and we've sort of lost sight of that.