Let's face it - this generation's social skills have been retarded by the internet

[Wolfenbarg]

There have always been people with debilitating shyness, but the internet allows this generation of shy people to completely withdraw and "socialize" (I use the term loosely) online where it is safe instead of facing up to their difficulties and making changes in their real lives.

And even some of those who aren't inherently shy have been affected by the internet. One of my roommates is a good example: he moved from California to Florida (where we go to school) and knows no one here. Instead of making new friends, he spends every moment he is not in class or work at home talking to friends back home on Facebook or Skype. Yes, it's good to keep in touch, but this is ridiculous - he has no life here.

The lure of the Internet is all about one thing: SAFETY. Many people are attracted to safety nets that anonymity and the separating, impersonal screen provide so they don't have to deal with difficult face-to-face encounters, whether it be making new friends, breaking up with someone, and more.

I think you can make a good case about people's social skills being negatively affected by using the internet, but you're going after the wrong group. Yeah, a lot of shy people like to communicate on the internet. So what? Their social skills were bad before, nothing is being stunted by them communicating in closed boxes. Besides, society might not force them to meet people. Instead it could force them to read lots of books, watch lots of movies, or play lots of video games instead.

Overall, the mass population does seem to have major issues with the internet though. There doesn't seem to be data to correlate people's online activities to real life, but anyone who has ever been on Xbox live, any chat client, or surfed the comments on just about any site that allows you to, you'll see that a great deal of people use language in the most pitiful form that it's probably ever been used by the masses. Not to mention an incredible lack of courtesy that manifests itself with racism, homophobia, or any other bounds of ignorance. Now like I said, I can't find data that says whether or not that translates to real life at all, but seeing how common online expression is, I would be surprised if it doesn't.

So... yeah, don't pick on shy kids. Pick on everyone else.

 

[BonsaiK]

There have always been people with debilitating shyness, but the internet allows this generation of shy people to completely withdraw and "socialize" (I use the term loosely) online where it is safe instead of facing up to their difficulties and making changes in their real lives.

And even some of those who aren't inherently shy have been affected by the internet. One of my roommates is a good example: he moved from California to Florida (where we go to school) and knows no one here. Instead of making new friends, he spends every moment he is not in class or work at home talking to friends back home on Facebook or Skype. Yes, it's good to keep in touch, but this is ridiculous - he has no life here.

The lure of the Internet is all about one thing: SAFETY. Many people are attracted to safety nets that anonymity and the separating, impersonal screen provide so they don't have to deal with difficult face-to-face encounters, whether it be making new friends, breaking up with someone, and more.

In the days before the Internet your roommate would have hogged the phone constantly or wrote a lot of letters. Blaming the change in technology is short-sighted.

I was lured to the Internet heavily back when I found out about it in the mid-1980s (showing my age here) and "safety" had nothing to do with it.

 

[Hap2]

Speaking to people on the internet counts as socialising. Making your point, invalid.

Hah, only around 7% of our socializing is done through verbal means such as writing and speaking. Most of the rest is done through body language. If the internet is socializing, then it is the poorest and most inefficient form we have at best.

It does get noticeable how anti-socializing the new-age media has made the world. I see it all the time in class, too many people are afraid to speak up (and these are supposed to be adults no less), even if the answer is an obvious one. But give the class an online forum, and people will go nuts on a question in their attempts to answer it. It has become so rare to find a good discussion with people in the real world, because so many of them are too inept at the art of conversation. The internet has eroded their confidence to do any actual speaking, as it is too easy to correct mistakes on a forum, but not as much so in a real world conversation and debate. To me it seems as if the internet is a place where mistakes matter little, they never have to be faced, they never have to be owned up to and corrected for the future. It is why we have so many trolls, people do not take the internet as real or of serious consequence, they look at the surface of what communication is and take it to be the whole thing, a fallacy of composition, and when it finally comes to actual communication between themselves and a real human being, the surface stuff is all they really know, and they end up being more inept at actually speaking with someone in real life, than somebody whose primary form of communication was rooted in the real world with real people.

To be honest, people need to get off the internet, get out more, and have real conversations and discussions.

 

[Choppaduel]

I've been facebook free since 1990 and I intend to keep it that way.

 

[sycoesis]

im not shy but im quiet i speak clearly and at an appropriate volume when i have something to say and almost never have problems getting across what i mean i just dont like iddle chit chat when i ca avoid it

 

[someotherguy]

Lots of ways to reply to this.

Well, here we go: I do both, mainly face to face or phone, but internet gets mixed in there too whenever i'm away for 1-2 weeks (Which I often am, hospital stuff). I don't like the people who just do internet 'socializing', personally, I think it's somewhat bad, and as you said, detrimental to your social skills. Though I wouldn't say an entire generation is crippled by it, the majority of the people I know are decent, and are atleast good at having a conversation. I will agree with the "Put down the damn Iphone" Comment though, that is annoying as hell. Facebook isn't inherently bad, you're not cool for hating it (sorry, had to) but I do dislike the people who are on there 24/7. (I met a new friend at a conference, we'd both be there for 3 more days, and instead of going out and doing something with the 6 other people we had planned to go, he legitimately asked me to go to my room at chat him up on facebook. Needless to say, I went with the 6 others)

And whoever said you're forced to befriend people - it's part of being human.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Speaking to people on the internet counts as socialising. Making your point, invalid.

Hah, only around 7% of our socializing is done through verbal means such as writing and speaking. Most of the rest is done through body language. If the internet is socializing, then it is the poorest and most inefficient form we have at best.

It does get noticeable how anti-socializing the new-age media has made the world. I see it all the time in class, too many people are afraid to speak up (and these are supposed to be adults no less), even if the answer is an obvious one. But give the class an online forum, and people will go nuts on a question in their attempts to answer it. It has become so rare to find a good discussion with people in the real world, because so many of them are too inept at the art of conversation. The internet has eroded their confidence to do any actual speaking, as it is too easy to correct mistakes on a forum, but not as much so in a real world conversation and debate. To me it seems as if the internet is a place where mistakes matter little, they never have to be faced, they never have to be owned up to and corrected for the future. It is why we have so many trolls, people do not take the internet as real or of serious consequence, they look at the surface of what communication is and take it to be the whole thing, a fallacy of composition, and when it finally comes to actual communication between themselves and a real human being, the surface stuff is all they really know, and they end up being more inept at actually speaking with someone in real life, than somebody whose primary form of communication was rooted in the real world with real people.

To be honest, people need to get off the internet, get out more, and have real conversations and discussions.

Maybe before quoting something 4 days old maybe you should check if this has already been discussed to death. Thankyou.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

You can take your sweeping generalizations elsewhere, thanks.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

If anyone secludes themselves away from the rest of society it is his or her own choice. Do not blame the internet for personal shortcomings.

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

I dunno I think Zero thought PCisim and nicety to the point of absolutism(IE you have to be nice or be fined or jailed, speaking your mind is becoming socially unacceptable) is far more damaging to society than a growing number of inverted people.

PS:OP has a point sweeping or not there is always reasonable context to something, as far as from a an overarching view more introverted people into a social system tends to be a bad thing.

 

[cheese_wizington]

No, not really at all. Unless you're some crazy kid who spends all god damn day on the internet.

 

[GothmogII]

Speaking to people on the internet counts as socialising. Making your point, invalid.

Hah, only around 7% of our socializing is done through verbal means such as writing and speaking. Most of the rest is done through body language. If the internet is socializing, then it is the poorest and most inefficient form we have at best.

It does get noticeable how anti-socializing the new-age media has made the world. I see it all the time in class, too many people are afraid to speak up (and these are supposed to be adults no less), even if the answer is an obvious one. But give the class an online forum, and people will go nuts on a question in their attempts to answer it. It has become so rare to find a good discussion with people in the real world, because so many of them are too inept at the art of conversation. The internet has eroded their confidence to do any actual speaking, as it is too easy to correct mistakes on a forum, but not as much so in a real world conversation and debate. To me it seems as if the internet is a place where mistakes matter little, they never have to be faced, they never have to be owned up to and corrected for the future. It is why we have so many trolls, people do not take the internet as real or of serious consequence, they look at the surface of what communication is and take it to be the whole thing, a fallacy of composition, and when it finally comes to actual communication between themselves and a real human being, the surface stuff is all they really know, and they end up being more inept at actually speaking with someone in real life, than somebody whose primary form of communication was rooted in the real world with real people.

To be honest, people need to get off the internet, get out more, and have real conversations and discussions.

It's curious that you seem to blame the internet for this. I agree on the situation, just not to the cause, having grown up in the early nineties I noticed that kind of behaviour even then in school, before the internet was even prevalent.

Then I try and think, when is this stuff ever really 'taught', and the answer is that it isn't, socialisation, or indeed the ability to construct a conversation or argument is generally perceived to be something that you pick up, damned to those who have more trouble than everyone else in doing so.

As for 'real' conversations, that's hilarious:

"You see the *insert sports team* match last night?"

"Yup."

"Spectacular stuff huh?"

"Sure was."

"*stares*"

"*belches*"

Scintillating...right?

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

Speaking to people on the internet counts as socialising. Making your point, invalid.

Hah, only around 7% of our socializing is done through verbal means such as writing and speaking. Most of the rest is done through body language. If the internet is socializing, then it is the poorest and most inefficient form we have at best.

It does get noticeable how anti-socializing the new-age media has made the world. I see it all the time in class, too many people are afraid to speak up (and these are supposed to be adults no less), even if the answer is an obvious one. But give the class an online forum, and people will go nuts on a question in their attempts to answer it. It has become so rare to find a good discussion with people in the real world, because so many of them are too inept at the art of conversation. The internet has eroded their confidence to do any actual speaking, as it is too easy to correct mistakes on a forum, but not as much so in a real world conversation and debate. To me it seems as if the internet is a place where mistakes matter little, they never have to be faced, they never have to be owned up to and corrected for the future. It is why we have so many trolls, people do not take the internet as real or of serious consequence, they look at the surface of what communication is and take it to be the whole thing, a fallacy of composition, and when it finally comes to actual communication between themselves and a real human being, the surface stuff is all they really know, and they end up being more inept at actually speaking with someone in real life, than somebody whose primary form of communication was rooted in the real world with real people.

To be honest, people need to get off the internet, get out more, and have real conversations and discussions.

It's curious that you seem to blame the internet for this. I agree on the situation, just not to the cause, having grown up in the early nineties I noticed that kind of behaviour even then in school, before the internet was even prevalent.

Then I try and think, when is this stuff ever really 'taught', and the answer is that it isn't, socialisation, or indeed the ability to construct a conversation or argument is generally perceived to be something that you pick up, damned to those who have more trouble than everyone else in doing so.

As for 'real' conversations, that's hilarious:

"You see the *insert sports team* match last night?"

"Yup."

"Spectacular stuff huh?"

"Sure was."

"*stares*"

"*belches*"

Scintillating...right?

Its not taught persay its more something subtle learned over time. Its filtered through media and normal socializing.

Is the internet a huge issue no is it one of many yes. But its more a problem for modern man as society slowly evolves and changes.