Let's Play: Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask: Update 14: Great Pain Temple
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Welcome folks to the beginning of a very long update of mostly me faffing about. Have fun!
First step, slow time. Now, I want to comment that ironically enough, this game actually made me feel more like a Hero of Time, and gave me more options to manipulate the flow of time using the Ocarina of Time, more than Ocarina of Time did!... I?ll pause to let you reread that. Look, OoT is a classic, but this game actually gives you more control of time than OoT did.
With that done, let?s go get our first secondary mask.
Shit. There?s a bit of waiting around in this game, everyone is very diligent with their schedualing.
Wait a minute, I know that guy! He was the one who stole that ranch from the pretty girl and her father in OoT! What?s he doing here?
Charming as ever.
See that? Right on 10, these people are practically driven by their schedules. Although this place is named clock town, can?t exactly blame them.
Hmm, seems there?s something he needs to talk to the Mayor?s wife about.
Oh no!
*Gasp!*
Hold on, I recognise that fish now. He looks sorta-kinda like the Zora King. And for some reason none of them seem to mind that a 10 year old is standing right behind Gorman and listening to every word they say.
The band that was mentioned in the poster, remember?
Well, we know now what?s happening over there. And we won?t even be going there for some time.
I think there?s an echo in the room.
Hmm, despite how much of a jerk he acted to us, you can?t help but feel sorry for Gorman. This is something he?s clearly wanted for a long time. It?s hard to laugh at someone when their dreams are crushed.
Oh, I think Gorman needs some ointment for that burn. Now then, let?s act like a true Legend of Zelda Hero? and ransack this house for valuables.
Unfortunately all we find is a diary.
A bachelor party? And I missed it!
Aww, this world is full of loving husbands. Nothing else here, so let?s talk to some people now that Gorman is heading off.
No way man, if you heard of it, it?s already too mainstream for me.
I?m that indie.
Oh we?ll be hearing it alright, but unfortunately not for a long time.
Yes ma?am, Private Detective Link at your service.
Yes, yes, this 10 year old looks like the perfect individual to locate a missing person.
I just read his diary, I know where he stashes his porn.
Maybe he should stay hidden longer, might help you fit into that second layer of skin you call a dress.
I?m not sure if she?s asking if I haven?t any intel or if I haven?t any food.
Our first secondary mask! That was easy.
This game expects you to go around town wearing this mask to inquire about Kafei (because link adamantly sticks to his silent protagonist role). However, since we read Kafei?s diary and know his fiancé is Anju, we go straight to her.
Err?. Yes?
Wait what? You do?
Well? we just got a free room. From someone who appears to have the same name as us. Man, what a sucker.
We wait a bit and before long, a piece of mail arrives?
I can?t tell if this guy is purposefully being evasive or if he?s just an idiot.
You can only ask her about Kafei after she receives the letter, which makes sense.
I have to ask though, is his name pronounced like ?café?? Because if so, his parents must hate him.
Schedule made, now I know I said I was going to leave this quest until I can fully finish it, but towards the end there are two extra rewards one of which I can do. And since this update is devoted to faffing around, might as well do it and use this chance to talk about the characters.
Not a bad place, lots of room, two beds?
And a chest with a silver rupee just sitting inside. I?m not even going to ask. But I do recommend if you play this game yourself, for every time rewind you get this room because the money is always back here, essentially allowing you to commit bank fraud. It?s like Nintendo finally figured out what we?d actually use time travel for!
Whiner. We just made a cool hundred.
We go back down and find our first Goron entering the hotel.
Busy? It?s a ghost-town out there.
Uh oh?
*cough*
Well? now I feel like a complete prick. This is an interesting deconstruction of the typical RPG elements of which the Zelda series itself is guilty of committing. Mostly, that the things you do for your own benefit are making life harder for everyone else. And if you?ll remember, in OoT you meet a Goron with your name, so I like to think the developers thought of a situation where having the same name will cause you to screw over someone else.
However, we now have to once again rebuild the great fairy, which involves putting on our Deku Mask for the first time.
See the screams, groans, bulging eyes?... Transforming is HURTING HIM! That?s messed up!
Moving on from the disturbing scene which we thankfully only need to watch once.
He?s not wrong. In Clock Town each day has a certain ?theme? to it. The first day is relaxed, sunny, feels like there?s nothing wrong at all, and the moon feels very far away. The second day is rainy, bit drowsy and also a bit? apprehensive. Like you feel like something is coming but you don?t want to admit it. And the final day? Everything is quick, almost panicked. The moon is very clearly on top of them and you feel like you?re in a rush, it?s reminding you of how close you?re getting until the end.
Later that night we go to North Clock Town and find this? person.
O?kay? A pale, skinny bald man is standing in the corner of a children?s playground in the dark of night? How did this slip past the censors?
Since I forgot to pick this up earlier.
Which we wait, we make a quick deposit.
It was at this point, while I waited for a certain scene to happen, I decided to finally exit this town and get another easy mask.
Because a child who owns a sword is something to actually feel relaxed about, rather than worry about an underage boy wielding a deadly weapon.
Ahh, freedom at last.
Unfortunately it was at this point I realized I fucked up. The event I?m waiting for doesn?t happen until 1am. Soo.. umm? forget that and let?s get another easy mask.
Now wait one god damn minute, this guy was in Hyrule to! What the hell is going on?
I?m all ears, lay it on me.
That is correct, no matter how much we pride ourselves on being advanced and civil, we?re just advanced and civil animals.
Why are all the smiling people with perpetually closed eyes always the crazy ones with scary mood-swings?
Interesting, he admits being jealous of an animal for possessing a trait he lacks as a human. I wonder, could this guy be making a comment on man?s relationship with the animal kingdom? How we consider ourselves above animals while at the same time wanting to be just like them, jealous of how simple their lives are, of the skills they possess that we can?t on our own? Probably not, but it?s something to think about.
This, like the Kafei mask, is the simplest mask in the game to get, requiring we just play the silent listener to help him ease his regret. There are many ways to make people happy, or to help them with their troubles. Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of patience, and a willing ear.
We run back to NCT to find this old woman walking through the park? on her own? at midnight? with her valuables on her back in plain sight.
Who seriously didn?t see that coming?
All it takes to stop this is a quick slash of your sword on Mr Creepy.
He runs around for a bit but we can?t do any more damage to him and we can?t stop him.
Even the fucking guard, who not only failed to prevent the robbery, fails to grab the guy literally two inches away from him. These guys are bloody useless! (Except at keeping kids from exiting the city, they?re great at that.)
She?s right and wrong here. Her shop already stocks bomb bags but the smallest kind. By tomorrow she?ll have the medium bags which we can buy straight away, saving us having to buy the smallest version.
Did? did she just give a 10 year an explosive that you strap to your face?! Yes, she did. This acts as your backup bomb which you can continuously reuse (with a timer and a hit to your health).
It?s what I do, ma?am. Now, let?s go fix another person?s problem.
Don?t worry, we get more than a free zero-gravity lift.
Truth be told, by wearing that I?d expect all the fairies to run away.
Joking aside, this is a very helpful mask. Each Great Fairy grants us a tremendous boost, and while we don?t ?require? this mask to get them, it certainly helps. Especially since the hair shimmers to let us know when one is in the room.
With that out of the way, we have an appointment to keep.
Anju ?says? at 11:30pm but you can?t actually talk to her till midnight, and she?s here until 6am, so no need to rush.
That would certainly feel strange. She almost sounds exhausted here doesn?t she? Like ever since she got that letter she?s been in an emotional turmoil, and now it?s just making her exhausted.
How could I say no to this?
If you don?t make this scene happen, Anju never delivers the letter herself. It?s sad really, she?s so scared and unsure of what to do that without our help she just does nothing.
I?ll do my best, Anju, for you.
With that, she heads off to bed to await our news. Now, if I wanted to be a prick the size of which this world has never seen, I could not mail this letter and actually do something else. Remember that hand in the toilet I gave the deed to? Well, just so happens he accepts any kind of paper.
So I can abuse the trust of this scared, lovely woman, take a letter that could decide the fate of her marriage and her happiness, and give it to a guy so he can wipe his ass with it. If you did this in your game, you?re a terrible person and I hate you.
With that done, we head back outside where I resume my previous mask hunt.
We find this guy dancing in the moonlight on one of those giant stone mushrooms. Just roll with it.
You don?t need to do the translation? I understood what you said.
This guy is clearly dead and troubled, making him a troubled spirit. Now, what can we do that can heal troubled spirits?
Hehe, that makes me smile for some reason.
Our next mask, this one has a singular purpose but like every mask we need it for something extremely important later on.
I got that, sleep well dance master.
With that he?s gone, and Link now has a mask that looks like a miniature version of the spirit dancer has been stitched to the front of his face? not pleasant.
Still, how often do you get to make Link dance? In this game, as often as you want.
Like that big boy? Now, who do we know who could use a dance lesson and spread these moves far and wide?
They catch on quick.
Looks like we caught someone?s attention.
That?s the problem with twins, you don?t know which one you?d rather do.
Link congratulates his new dance students. Who are probably twice his age.
Master? Guess Link won?t have to choose after all.
Finally, a whole new heart.
Awww, you girls are the best.
Moving on, it?s time to commit another act of bank fraud.
In the sewer we visited earlier, you can go left from the entrance and find this.
Using our brand new face-mounted explosive we find a strange chest.
With another hundred rupees. And like the last one, this reappears after every time rewind. Man, this banker is getting ripped off[/]b!
However, when I exited the sewer something unexpected happened.
Time travel.
You want to fight me kid? Good luck! *pulls sword*
Oh? thanks.
Which I?ll remind you, was 12345. This kid is easily impressed.
Because I?m of a race they like, they give me this nifty book. Considering all the characters in this game have a schedule this can actually be quite useful and keeping track of what you?ve done.
In a rather unusual case, the kid actually recognises Tatl and addresses her. Why? Because she would have been with him when the Skull Kid first joined their group.
This is one of those funny things I never actually knew you could do. I always assumed to get this book you had to redo the bombers hide and seek game, but apparently all you had to do was this. It?s way easier, and I got it completely by accident and had something funny to show you guys. Win-win.
Now, we make our latest deposit to the banker.
With those silver rupees doing this takes no time at all.
This is one of those things you need to do as soon as possible, otherwise you end up losing a lot of money you could have otherwise kept.
This guy gives us another reward when we finally deposit 5000 rupees, but it?s a piece of heart rather than the next wallet. Unfortunately we won?t be able to get that until we can enter the Great Bay. But to get a piece of heart now, I need to make a withdrawal.
Typical banker. He?s less enthusiastic about you taking money out.
Oh trust me, I am using it wisely.
I mentioned last time about this guy?s glorious hair. Well what if I told you he?s actually bald? That?s right, all that hair is actually from his godly moustache which he just wraps around and wears on his head. Ladies, I?ll give you a minute to clean up.
Link?s no novice, expert all the way!
By highly difficult he means the jump attack, which grants 3 points per log.
Since we need 30 points, that means you need a jump attack for every log he raises.
This blew my mind as a kid. Those logs actually split apart in the way you cut them! OH MAH GAWD THAT?S SO COOL GRAPHICS ARE AMAZING!!!!
Oh how far we?ve come.
Thank you, Master Moustache.
I shall, master.
With nothing else to do, we skip to the next day.
Trippy.
This is the bomb shop, I made another withdrawal and I?m now getting myself some bombs. Which they sell to children? what?s wrong with this world?
Woooo explosions!
Seems she forgot it was me. *sad face*
Giants? What?s she talking about?
This is probably the first time you actually hear about the Giants (unless you talk to Anju?s Grandmother but I?m assuming you didn?t.) Notice how she?s talking about them the same way we?d talk about our God?s? Something to remember.
You don?t say.
Finding bigger bags was your lifelong dream?
Nice little hint about what the Goron?s speciality is.
Awww, even bomb enthusiasts love their mommy?s.
There also happens to be a Goron in here, typically.
Gimme gimme!
Where?s the Silver Gauntlet when you need it.
Fun fact: seems some people of the town are finding? creative ways to escape the city. Specifically, these two are planning to escape in a rocket ship. Well, if you got a lot of bombs?
With explosives rattling around in my pockets there are now some heart pieces I can collect in the fields.
See that hole there? There?s something of a unique boss you can fight for a piece.
HOLT SHIT WHAT IS THAT THING?!
Relax, this thing looks rather intimidating, but you can easily avoid the blades and you just have to smack it?s root a few times to kill it.
Easy enough, next we head North.
Another hole, another large enemy to fight.
Well, two really. While you could try to take these guys with your basic sword, it?ll require a lot of hits and they hit extremely hard. And with two, it?s even worse.
Unless you use bombs in which case this becomes a joke.
It?ll take about six bombs for one of them, and they don?t move from an explosion.
They also drop one purple rupee each (purple?s are 50, so that?s 100). All in all, worth a trip for extra rupees if you can be bothered.
Those are all the hearts I can get in the field right now.
In this area you?ll also find this thing. The drawing implies it was done by the Skull Kid. Perform the song and you get free rupees, hey that guy is actually doing something helpful for once!
He gets really excited if you give him over a hundred.
With nothing else to do I decided to wait until I could meet up with Kafei later today? it was also at this point I realised I had fucked up. You see, in order to actually do this quest, you have to let Sakon (the creepy thief) get away with the bomb bags. Which for this timeline, I had prevented. So fuck, I had to redo the whole thing. Lucky for you guys though, you don?t have to rewatch it.
However, rather than go back straight away, there was something I could do at the ranch which is actually really, really useful. So let?s head there.
Always hit the owl statues, always.
And (sadly) always get a map from *sight*? Tingle.
Despite my hopes, his legs did not break.
Something which always annoyed the shit out of me with Tingle is how you have to go through the same meeting conversation every time you talk to him in a new timeline. So go back and read that conversation again, only read it about 50 times. Still sane?
Wait a minute, they look like?? No, couldn?t be.
THEY DO! These guys look exactly like Gorman!
And just as rude, definitely a connection.
Competitors eh?
50 rupees?! This guy is kidding himself!
If they seriously charge 100 rupees for milk in Clock Town then their economy is more fucked than the Greek?s. Anyway, fuck these guys, let?s go visit Romani Ranch.
Which is blocked. Of course, why would I expect any different?
Another day? That?s a giant boulder that they left a single dude to clear away, how could this be done by tomorrow?
?Well? I stand corrected.
Yes you did, my friend. Yes you did.
Huh? that girl is crying. I wonder why.
We run up to go see what?s wrong when Tatl chimes in.
Wait? is that??
OH MY GOD IT IS! Epona! At long last, I found my horse!
I don?t think I?ve actually seen Link smile this whole game.
Don?t worry old friend, I?ll get you out of here.
?shit. Well let?s talk to the owners, maybe we can buy her back.
?umm, you okay there?
I asked are you okay?...Wait a minute, you?re the girl from the farm in Hyrule! What are you doing here?!
Yes me, it?s Grasshopper, don?t you remember?
This is just depressing. Let?s see who else is in charge.
That looks like the only other person here, let?s talk to? hold on.
What the hell happened here?
And more importantly, why are the adult version and the child version of the same girl from Hyrule here? What is going on?!
My friends, now is the time to reveal what Termina actually is. As I?ve shown you, we seem to have found the exact copies of people that Link knew in Hyrule, but none of them recognise him, and while there are similarities they?re not the same person either. So who are they?
Quite simply, we?re standing in an alternate version of Hyrule. Termina is a kind of mirror world, but things aren?t exactly the same. It?s a stranger world, it?s a dangerous world, and it?s one obsessed with time and masks and who seem to worship Giants. Not a single mention of the Triforce or the Goddesses are to be found.
However, there are other theories. Notice how there?s only one Gorman-like and Romani-like character in Hyrule, but we find multiple ones here? It?s suspected that what we?re seeing are actually personifications of various sides to the ?main? Hyrule counter-part. We see the adult, responsible and hard working Cremia, the adult version, and the carefree, adventurous and friendly child version Romani. Why does this matter? Because it implies this world is shaping itself based on the people from Hyrule. Or quite possibly, Link?s memories of people from Hyrule.
I?ll talk again about this theory and certain implications of the memory idea, but here?s something else to consider. If people from Hyrule have their own Termina counter-parts? does Link also have a counter-part? Hmm?.
Moving on from fan theories, we now work to get one of the most useful masks in the game.
Dude? your ribs are showing. I think you?re not well.
Meaningful stare.
Oh dear, and will obviously take longer than a day for these chicks to grow up. But we have just the thing to help.
That?s right, it?s time to put this mask to use. Play that music and follow me!
This is a pretty amusing sequence, Link marches around playing a catchy tune with his Ocarina, collecting chick followers as he goes.
Woah, what the hell? That chick just poofed and became a rooster!
You need to keep this up until every chick has rapidly skipped their teen years and become adults. In other words, we just did them a massive favour.
Say hello to the Bunny Hood, anyone who has played this game will know how useful this is. It rapidly increases your running speed and jump distance, making it one of the most useful in the game. You can expect to see me wearing this a lot.
?.That creepy chuckle makes me think if I come back at night I might be offered chicken nuggets.
The wishes of youth is to grow up? Funny isn?t it. The youth want to be older, the old want to be younger. No one is ever satisfied with their age.
Squeeee! Cute!
Not so cute? moving on. We run back to Termina fields and find this fellow in a tree? for some reason.
So naturally we roll into it knocking him down.
Some rupees fell down with him, odd.
We can?t actually help this guy. All we can do is take the money he was trying to get, and leave him here with a broken leg. Not very heroic, Link.
With the Bunny Hood we also have access to a new chest. Simply jump off her and run to the end.
Those shots make it look like he did it with a single jump, which I wish was true.
Turn the corner and there?s our reward.
Another easy silver, and another must-do for every timeline.
Hehe, idiot. It?s at this point I rewound time, did the necessary objectives and with time to spare, decided to see what the postman was doing.
You can?t have them.
O?kay? That relates to postal delivery how?
[IM
It seems I've messed up and accidentily deleted half my update. And while I did write them into word, I had also deleted those when I thought this posted successfully. So since those are now gone, I'll guess I'll call it quits here and redo the rest tomorrow.
Excuse me while I go cry, enjoy the update.
Excuse me while I go cry, enjoy the update.
Okay, let?s see if I can actually do this without deleting hours of work. Future Ben, it?s all on you.
Turns out this woman doesn?t recognise us after we saved her from a mugging. Oh well, least the cow seems happy to see us.
This will probably be the first time you hear someone mention the Giants (unless you talk to Anju?s Grandmother but I?m assuming you don?t.) Notice how she?s talking about them as if they were Gods? Intriguing?
Finally, someone with sense.
It?s been your lifelong dream to have larger sized bags?
Little hint at the Goron?s speciality.
Awww, even explosive experts love their mommy?s.
Well gee, thanks for getting my hopes up, jerk.
Turns out some people in Clock Town have developed? creative ways to escape the moon crashing. Well if you got a lot of explosives?
Now that we?ve got ourselves some firepower, there are a couple pieces of heart we can collect.
See that hole? We have something of a mini-boss fight down there.
OH JESUS FUCK LOOK AT THAT THING!!!
Despite its threatening look, this thing is actually quite easy to kill, just strike at the pointy root at the bottom.
One down, one to go.
The other hole is on the North side.
This fight can actually be extremely difficult at this stage. They require a lot of hits with the basic sword and can hit really hard.
Unless you have bombs, in which case this fight becomes a joke.
They don?t move from a bomb blast and it only takes about 6 bombs per dodongo.
These guys are also useful for money collecting, as together they drop 100 rupees.
This thing was supposedly left by the Skull Kid, just play the tune and you get free money, not much to it.
After a quick deposit I began to wait till the afternoon when I could finally meet Kafei. Unfortunately it was at this point I realized I fucked up. You see, in order to get the reward I?m after, Sakon (that creepy thief) needs to get away with the bomb bags. Which in this timeline, I prevented. As a result, I had to redo everything in the quest up to this point, but luckily you guys won?t have to see that.
So rather than wait this timeline, let?s go to Romani Ranch.
Always the first thing to do.
Despite our hopes, Tingle does not break his legs when he falls.
Look, I?ll come clean. Tingle is not the most annoying character ever. Least not his personality. No, the thing that shits me is how with every timeline, if you want to buy a map you have to sit through the same introduction conversation every fucking time. Go back and read that conversation about fifty times. Still sane?
Gorman eh? Like the troupe leader?
Wait, is that??
It is! This guy looks exactly like Gorman, who in turn looks exactly like Ingo from OoT! This is just getting weird.
Ahh, triplets.
I am a bit parched.
Picked up they?re competitors yet?
50 RUPEES?! This guy is kidding himself!
If it really costs 100 rupees to buy a bottle of milk then their economy is more fucked than the Greek?s. You know what, fuck this guy. Let?s go to Romani?s Ranch.
Unfortunately it?s blocked off.
Makes you wonder, was this the Skull Kid?s work like everything else? Or perhaps someone else?
Another day? You see the size of this thing? It would takes weeks with dozens of workers to clear this thing out, what can you do?
?Well, I eat my words. I take my green hat off to you sir.
Yes. Yes you did.
Is that girl crying? We should see what?s wrong.
Although, before we can speak to her Tatl chimes in?
Could it be? At long last?
It is! Epona you gorgeous horse, daddy?s here!
I don?t think I?ve seen Link smile throughout this whole game.
Don?t worry girl, we?ll cut you free.
?Shit. Well let?s talk to the owners, maybe we can purchase her back.
Umm? you okay there?
Hold on, I recognise you. Malon! What are you doing here to, what about Lon Lon Ranch? What about Hyrule?
Yes, it?s me. Remember? It?s me grasshopper. Please tell me you remember.
?You don?t remember. Something?s wrong here, let?s see who else is here.
Wait, Romani? But? her name was Malon.
Okay, someone else to talk to, she might know? No. No, it can?t be.
It?s adult Malon. Why are there two Malon?s? What is going on?!
It?s about time I explained what Termina actually is. And after seeing these different version of Ingo and Malon, now would be a good time. Over the game we?ve come across individuals that look exactly like people Link met in Hyrule, but here they?re different people. So what?s going on?
There are a couple of theories, the first is the most accepted. Termina is an alternate version of Hyrule. Full of similar people that are alternate versions of their Hyrule counterparts. This can explain the almost Wonderland-like descent we experienced in the forest and why things seem so similar.
The other is a little harder to believe but more interesting and it relates to these different versions of the same people that I just pointed out. Termina is actually shaping itself around Link?s memories. What we?re seeing are the multiple personalities that Malon and Ingo expressed in the first game, but here they are represented as different individuals. The most obvious question is why would this be the case? Because of Dante?s The Divine Comedy.
Wait what? What does that have to do with anything? Well, when it comes to the specifics, nothing. But you see, The Divine Comedy is a classic because you can interpret the story literally (journey through hell, climbing purgatory etc), or you can interpret it metaphorically. As in everything that happens in the story is really just a metaphor. I believe you can interpret Majora?s Mask the same way, by tying it into the stages of grief theory. I?ll expand on this later, it?ll give you some time to think it over.
Time to collect one of the most useful masks in the game.
Dude, your rips are showing. You might want to see a doctor.
*Meaningful stare*
This goth wannabe desires to see his newly born chicks grow up into roosters. Naturally this will take more than a day, but we have a solution.
Bremen mask, time to fulfil your purpose. Let?s hear that beat!
The process is simple but slow. We march around and walk into every chick until they follow behind. We get quite a conga line going.
With an audible poof, the chickens rapidly age in an instant.
All the better to run circles around enemies, my dear.
?Am I the only one slightly creeped out by that line? If I come back tonight maybe he?ll be serving chicken nuggets.
The wishes of youth is to grow up? It?s the wishes of the old to be young. No one is ever satisfied with their age.
I guarantee you?ll see me wearing this a lot. I have no shame.
We run back to the fields in no time and find this strange guy in the tree.
So naturally we roll into it and knock him out.
As well as our friend, 40 rupees drop out. Not bad.
We can?t actually help this guy. All we can do is leave him here, with a clearly damaged leg, in the middle of nowhere, after stealing the money he was after. I?d call Link a douche but he?s too cute with those ears on.
Now for more bank fraud. There?s a secret chest hidden up here you can only collect with the bunny hood.
Those shots make it look like Link made the distance in a single jump. I wish that was the case.
Easy money, and another necessary trip with every time rewind.
I rewound time and while I redid all the Kafei and Anju missions, I decided to pass the time by bothering the postman.
You can?t have them.
?What does that have to do with delivering mail? I just think he?s too lazy to use a treadmill.
He?s not lying, this can be quite tricky to get right.
Unless you?re wearing the bunny hood. This gives us a clock that makes this challenge almost insulting easy. Link?s not above cheating.
First try.
Reflexes? right.
He?s devoted to his job that?s for sure. Let?s look around.
The big question, which is more terrifying?
I actually like this room. I didn?t show it but this place is actually the post office itself. The postman is so devoted to his service that he lives behind the counter.
Finally, he delivers Anju?s letter, and you can sort of see a masked figure in the distance there.
Amusingly enough you can run right past him. You can wait if you want, makes no difference.
This is a pretty dodgy place for the mayor?s son to live. Wonder what made him decide to stay here?
At last he runs up, but he?s a bit shorter than I expected.
I swear, it was just the one time man. And while she was awesome, she said she was thinking of you the whole time.
I can say yes, but?
That was funnier.
Turns out this woman doesn?t recognise us after we saved her from a mugging. Oh well, least the cow seems happy to see us.
This will probably be the first time you hear someone mention the Giants (unless you talk to Anju?s Grandmother but I?m assuming you don?t.) Notice how she?s talking about them as if they were Gods? Intriguing?
Finally, someone with sense.
It?s been your lifelong dream to have larger sized bags?
Little hint at the Goron?s speciality.
Awww, even explosive experts love their mommy?s.
Well gee, thanks for getting my hopes up, jerk.
Turns out some people in Clock Town have developed? creative ways to escape the moon crashing. Well if you got a lot of explosives?
Now that we?ve got ourselves some firepower, there are a couple pieces of heart we can collect.
See that hole? We have something of a mini-boss fight down there.
OH JESUS FUCK LOOK AT THAT THING!!!
Despite its threatening look, this thing is actually quite easy to kill, just strike at the pointy root at the bottom.
One down, one to go.
The other hole is on the North side.
This fight can actually be extremely difficult at this stage. They require a lot of hits with the basic sword and can hit really hard.
Unless you have bombs, in which case this fight becomes a joke.
They don?t move from a bomb blast and it only takes about 6 bombs per dodongo.
These guys are also useful for money collecting, as together they drop 100 rupees.
This thing was supposedly left by the Skull Kid, just play the tune and you get free money, not much to it.
After a quick deposit I began to wait till the afternoon when I could finally meet Kafei. Unfortunately it was at this point I realized I fucked up. You see, in order to get the reward I?m after, Sakon (that creepy thief) needs to get away with the bomb bags. Which in this timeline, I prevented. As a result, I had to redo everything in the quest up to this point, but luckily you guys won?t have to see that.
So rather than wait this timeline, let?s go to Romani Ranch.
Always the first thing to do.
Despite our hopes, Tingle does not break his legs when he falls.
Look, I?ll come clean. Tingle is not the most annoying character ever. Least not his personality. No, the thing that shits me is how with every timeline, if you want to buy a map you have to sit through the same introduction conversation every fucking time. Go back and read that conversation about fifty times. Still sane?
Gorman eh? Like the troupe leader?
Wait, is that??
It is! This guy looks exactly like Gorman, who in turn looks exactly like Ingo from OoT! This is just getting weird.
Ahh, triplets.
I am a bit parched.
Picked up they?re competitors yet?
50 RUPEES?! This guy is kidding himself!
If it really costs 100 rupees to buy a bottle of milk then their economy is more fucked than the Greek?s. You know what, fuck this guy. Let?s go to Romani?s Ranch.
Unfortunately it?s blocked off.
Makes you wonder, was this the Skull Kid?s work like everything else? Or perhaps someone else?
Another day? You see the size of this thing? It would takes weeks with dozens of workers to clear this thing out, what can you do?
?Well, I eat my words. I take my green hat off to you sir.
Yes. Yes you did.
Is that girl crying? We should see what?s wrong.
Although, before we can speak to her Tatl chimes in?
Could it be? At long last?
It is! Epona you gorgeous horse, daddy?s here!
I don?t think I?ve seen Link smile throughout this whole game.
Don?t worry girl, we?ll cut you free.
?Shit. Well let?s talk to the owners, maybe we can purchase her back.
Umm? you okay there?
Hold on, I recognise you. Malon! What are you doing here to, what about Lon Lon Ranch? What about Hyrule?
Yes, it?s me. Remember? It?s me grasshopper. Please tell me you remember.
?You don?t remember. Something?s wrong here, let?s see who else is here.
Wait, Romani? But? her name was Malon.
Okay, someone else to talk to, she might know? No. No, it can?t be.
It?s adult Malon. Why are there two Malon?s? What is going on?!
It?s about time I explained what Termina actually is. And after seeing these different version of Ingo and Malon, now would be a good time. Over the game we?ve come across individuals that look exactly like people Link met in Hyrule, but here they?re different people. So what?s going on?
There are a couple of theories, the first is the most accepted. Termina is an alternate version of Hyrule. Full of similar people that are alternate versions of their Hyrule counterparts. This can explain the almost Wonderland-like descent we experienced in the forest and why things seem so similar.
The other is a little harder to believe but more interesting and it relates to these different versions of the same people that I just pointed out. Termina is actually shaping itself around Link?s memories. What we?re seeing are the multiple personalities that Malon and Ingo expressed in the first game, but here they are represented as different individuals. The most obvious question is why would this be the case? Because of Dante?s The Divine Comedy.
Wait what? What does that have to do with anything? Well, when it comes to the specifics, nothing. But you see, The Divine Comedy is a classic because you can interpret the story literally (journey through hell, climbing purgatory etc), or you can interpret it metaphorically. As in everything that happens in the story is really just a metaphor. I believe you can interpret Majora?s Mask the same way, by tying it into the stages of grief theory. I?ll expand on this later, it?ll give you some time to think it over.
Time to collect one of the most useful masks in the game.
Dude, your rips are showing. You might want to see a doctor.
*Meaningful stare*
This goth wannabe desires to see his newly born chicks grow up into roosters. Naturally this will take more than a day, but we have a solution.
Bremen mask, time to fulfil your purpose. Let?s hear that beat!
The process is simple but slow. We march around and walk into every chick until they follow behind. We get quite a conga line going.
With an audible poof, the chickens rapidly age in an instant.
All the better to run circles around enemies, my dear.
?Am I the only one slightly creeped out by that line? If I come back tonight maybe he?ll be serving chicken nuggets.
The wishes of youth is to grow up? It?s the wishes of the old to be young. No one is ever satisfied with their age.
I guarantee you?ll see me wearing this a lot. I have no shame.
We run back to the fields in no time and find this strange guy in the tree.
So naturally we roll into it and knock him out.
As well as our friend, 40 rupees drop out. Not bad.
We can?t actually help this guy. All we can do is leave him here, with a clearly damaged leg, in the middle of nowhere, after stealing the money he was after. I?d call Link a douche but he?s too cute with those ears on.
Now for more bank fraud. There?s a secret chest hidden up here you can only collect with the bunny hood.
Those shots make it look like Link made the distance in a single jump. I wish that was the case.
Easy money, and another necessary trip with every time rewind.
I rewound time and while I redid all the Kafei and Anju missions, I decided to pass the time by bothering the postman.
You can?t have them.
?What does that have to do with delivering mail? I just think he?s too lazy to use a treadmill.
He?s not lying, this can be quite tricky to get right.
Unless you?re wearing the bunny hood. This gives us a clock that makes this challenge almost insulting easy. Link?s not above cheating.
First try.
Reflexes? right.
He?s devoted to his job that?s for sure. Let?s look around.
The big question, which is more terrifying?
I actually like this room. I didn?t show it but this place is actually the post office itself. The postman is so devoted to his service that he lives behind the counter.
Finally, he delivers Anju?s letter, and you can sort of see a masked figure in the distance there.
Amusingly enough you can run right past him. You can wait if you want, makes no difference.
This is a pretty dodgy place for the mayor?s son to live. Wonder what made him decide to stay here?
At last he runs up, but he?s a bit shorter than I expected.
I swear, it was just the one time man. And while she was awesome, she said she was thinking of you the whole time.
I can say yes, but?
That was funnier.
Just putting it out there, red eyes are incredibly awesome looking and I would kill to have them.
Skull Kid gets around.
Seems to be everyone?s first step, which makes sense.
I?m standing right here, and I have a sword.
This is an interesting subversion, while the Skull Kid did cause this problem, it?s not the curse we?re trying to fix. Rather, it?s the stolen mask which was stolen as a direct result of that curse.
My sarcasm detector is off the charts.
Notice a recurring theme here? Memories. We often diminish the importance of certain moments of our past because we forget how it made us feel. But sometimes all it takes is a jolt, a flash, a reminder of that feeling, and the promises we made.
This is just pointing out the absurdity of two adults entrusting their entire marriage to a 10 year old who probably doesn?t even know what?s in-between a girl?s legs.
So then, how does Kafei actually plan to get his stolen mask back? Well he knows who did it, he just doesn?t know where he?s gone.
Is it Anju?s shower? Spending time apart getting a bit stressful?
It?s a decent plan, and why I needed to let Sakon steal that sack. Otherwise he doesn?t show up, and nothing happens. But now let?s keep our promise and take this pendant back to Anju.
I?m going to use this opportunity to ask you a question, one this game may not have intended but inspires me to ask anyway. What is a relationship? I believe a relationship is a promise. A promise of support and comfort. A promise of happiness and being there. But most importantly, it?s a promise of love. I think relationships fall apart when we either stop caring about the promises we made, or we forget them. Which is why sometimes we need to remember, we need that jolt to remind us how we felt when we made that promise to that person. Anju just got that jolt, she remembered her promise.
Later that night we return to our room and re-examine that hole in the wall.
Just for the record, the one on the right is Anju?s mother.
She?s clearly trying to convince Anju to give up and run. Not because she?s cruel or disapproves, but because she believes it?s best for her daughters happiness.
Her mother just doesn?t want Anju to be abandoned by a man she loves, just like she was.
I like to interpret what Anju says here in two ways, depending on what you?ve done in your current timeline. She?s either thanking her mother for convincing her to remember her life and do what?s best for her. Or, if you?ve done everything we?ve done, she?s simply lying to her mother about agreeing, but is still thanking her.
Why? She?s thanking her mother for caring, for trying to do what she believed would make her happy. Even if Anju believed she was wrong, she thanked her mother?s intentions. I think that?s a really sweet thing to say.
Later that same night, Mr Creepy Thief arrives with his bag of goodies to sell. This is the moment Kafei has waited for.
They?re literally two doors up.
Interesting justification, I imagine he practices it every night to help him sleep.
Man, Sakon got taken for a ride here. You really get the impression the shopkeeper hates Sakon?s guts, and argues him down to a quarter of his proposed price. I wonder why?
You say that like I would care.
Next day we come back to see what Kafei plans to do. We have to wait until the afternoon though.
Oddly, it?s the shopkeeper that greets us.
This explains a lot, like how Kafei got this room with the peep hole and why the shopkeeper showed such contempt for Sakon.
Another reminder of the promises we keep. See how powerful a simple jolt can be?
O..kay? I won?t argue.
Even the game agrees.
At long last, this is what I?ve been working towards. You?ll see why in a moment.
I know, I was there.
Unfortunately, we can?t get there yet. Meaning we can?t help Kafei and everything we?ve done will have to be undone by rewinding time. Sad? Pointless? Tragic? Indeed. It?s meant to make you wonder if you can really change anything at all. If you?re stuck in this loop, what?s the point in anything?
We head back into town, on the third day you can find guards staring at the sky, hands on their chest like they?re praying.
Interesting isn?t it? He didn?t stop us here to protect us from the dangers in the fields, but because he wanted to know if he could abandon the town and flee. He?s not trying to stop us fleeing, it?s something he wants to do himself.
On the night of the final day, almost everyone has fled with only the most stubborn of individuals staying behind. Or those too devoted to their duties.
Ever heard of something called cognitive dissonance? It?s when you hold two or more conflicting ideas in your head and if you can?t resolve them, they cause you severe mental anguish. The postman wants to flee, but he also cannot abandon his duties. He?s slowly going mad with grief and anguish. He needs a way out, which we just so happen to have.
I don?t see the need for a change room, since he?s just putting on a hat and backpack.
He heads off to the town?s milk bar where Madame Aroma is currently residing.
But we can?t enter since we?re not members. We have no choice but to wait outside.
We didn?t see it, but he was relieved from duty by Madame Aroma, she knows there?s no point to have him around, and she wanted to grant him a simple mercy and let him do what he wants with his last hours. And now that is no longer bound by his duty, he can do what he wants.
Sometimes, to make someone happy, you have to show them they?re not as trapped as they believe they are. That is there a way out, a way to resolve things. The strongest, most unbearable chains, are the ones we create in our own minds.
Run wild and free, my friend. Run wild and free.
Oh yeah, looking good. But I feel like we?re missing something? theme music!
Just replace Pat with Link and ?black and white cat? with ?little white fairy?. Now then, what can we do with this besides just look fabulous? This gives us the ability to check mailboxes.
That?s literally all it does. But every mask and piece of heart counts. But if you?ll remember, we received another mask earlier today.
The Keaton Mask is meant to mimic the Keaton?s, a type of yellow fox. You wear one?
Chop some moving bushes?
And one pops up. Let?s speak to him, because you can speak to practically everything in this game.
Well we?re quite obviously human, if he couldn?t notice our legs I?d be worried?
Okay never mind, these things are idiots too.
While he munches on a leaf snack he gives us a quiz, we get everything right and we win a piece of heart.
?Why does he want to know this?
Or worse yet, how does Link know this?
I practically hear those words in my nightmares.
If you?ll remember, I said it earlier in the LP.
Technically I shouldn?t know this yet, so just pretend I?m guessing.
You may have noticed the dimensions for the screenshots changed. I assure you this is an Escapist technical issue and not because I had another window open with the answers.
It certainly wouldn?t be writing letters, she wrote a pretty convincing one to Kafei.
I don?t really need to see him again, but he can be a useful way to make rupees if I could be bothered (I?m not).
We make a final deposit before rewinding time, enough faffing about, it?s time to get this adventure kicked into gear. Next update we?re heading South to the Swamp. Don?t get too angry at me for the length of this update.
Welcome back folks, I apologise for the length of time between this and the last update as compared to the previous ones, I was on my final exams for university this year and needed to study. I know, great time for a LP right? Anyway, we travel South to the Swamp when suddenly?
*Awkward Silence*
This is one of the reasons I love Tatl over Navi, she actually has a history as well as a personality. Navi was just? no one.
Skull Kid? Friends? Can those words be in the same sentence?
Flash back time.
Awwwwwww, they?re huddling for warmth! That?s just? *Squee*
Seems they?re not alone.
It?s such an innocent way for these three to meet. And I get the feeling that?s exactly what the designers wanted you to think about the Skull Kid. He?s innocent, naive, nothing more than (as his name suggests) a child.
After the storm they then start to have fun together, as all friends should.
It?s pretty clear what they?re doing here, the Skull Kid is being portrayed as a sympathetic villain. Someone who just wanted some friends but due to his child-like love of mischief would always push them away. Must be hard wanting friends to accept you for who you are, but who you are is the kind of person who pushes everyone away. Bet you?re feeling pretty sorry for the Skull Kid now eh?
The entire premise of this can be seen as ?power corrupts, especially for those too young to understand the consequences.?
I really wish I could have seen Tatl?s facial expression here. Would it be sad? Thoughtful? Perhaps angry? The way she spoke of her history with the Skull Kid says to me she?d be sad but also pitying. She understands why the Skull Kid did what he did, but she also acknowledges he has to be stopped.
Along the way is a simple tree with a heart at the top, just kill the bats and climb up. Simple, but I missed it the first time for simply being a clueless dolt.
We now take our first steps into the Southern Swamp. The music is rather? odd. Foreboding? I can?t really describe it as anything other than a hanging sense of evil.
See that mountain-like structure with purple water oozing out? That?s our ultimate goal for this area. But how to get there?
?Magic Beans?
Seriously, what kind of chump do you think I am? This guy is also our next customer for the deed trading quest, but I won?t be doing that until later. For now, let?s check inside.
That alone should clue you into who his son turns out to be.
Pictures? Nah man, I made a promise not to share these with anyone, Anju would be pissed.
I could not for the life of me figure out how to do this when I was young. The idea is that you ride on the boat and take pictures, but if you take a picture of something that?s not on the boat and would really impress him, you get a heart.
Well shit, now what?
Guess we have no choice but to check out this potion shop.
While it is possible to swim through this water, the game is making it pretty obvious what it wants you to do.
What do you think? Looks like the place?
You can just sort of see another ladder at the back there. It?s pointless but when I was young I kept trying to find a way up, thinking it was a secret. The secret is that I was an idiot.
My, my, look who it is. Another familiar face from Hyrule, only this time it?s a boss. Think she?ll be evil?
Nope.
This is the first time one of their names is stated, and if you?ll notice it?s exactly the same as their Hyrule counterparts, while everyone else is named something different entirely. Does this mean these are actually the same twins?
If it is, they have no memory about us? you know? killing them.
*Sigh* You know she said that so we?d ask. Okaaay, what mushrooms?
Check it out, even have the same broomsticks. I?ve heard a theory that these two did actually die, and Termina is something of a purgatory to make up for all the evils they performed in life. Which of course, makes the true nature of Termina seem even weirder.
Talking monkey?s eh? Does everything have a voice box in this universe?
Another instance where the Bunny Hood shows its usefulness. This guy can be a pain to follow without it.
Especially when these basterds show up.
You can?t attack them conventionally, and since you?re trying to follow the monkey you just have to avoid their body transforming into spinning spikes.
This is a familiar sight? what? You were thinking it too.
This implies the twins knew of the Skull Kid before he got the mask. Has something of a reputation doesn?t he?
In a rather annoying instance of poor design, you have to go through the woods twice, once to find Koume, and again because you have to go back and collect a bottle of red potion.
You want me to list them, lady? Or better yet, look out the window.
Our first bottle, they?re worth their weight in gold? oddly enough.
I love how she suddenly jumps out and snatches it out of Link?s hand. Can?t move eh?
Yeah, I?m calling you out, old lady.
A red burp?... What?s in that potion?
It?s kinda my thing.
Monkey ambush!
Indeed, I have the power to make these bunny ears look dashing.
Our mission has gained a new direction, to get into the temple we need the help of this monkey, off to the Deku Palace.
At long last, I can finally gather incriminating evidence against Sako!
I love the elevator music that plays on this thing.
You might be asking yourself, why did I need this boat? Why not just jump to the palace? My answer is that huge, deadly octopus right there. It blocks your path, so how do we get past?
By re-enacting the ending to The Little Mermaid.
Wow, somehow this place looks even shittier than before. And the water is purple? Must have been coming out of that mountain in the centre.
Not just yet, remember that photo competition? There are exactly two photos you can give him to gain a piece of heart. The first is a picture of the Deku King, since no one ever sees him. The second was hinted at when we met him?
We?ll be coming back to this.
That?s right, his son is Tingle. Since he has no idea how he?s been, a picture is all it takes to sooth a father?s worry.
I like how the game at least acknowledges how ridiculous and annoying Tingle is.
Ta-dah! Up to seven hearts now, and haven?t even gone into the first dungeon.
I think he hears it every day, me saying it won?t make a difference.
Let me show you why we can?t swim back this way.
The water will hurt you every half-second you?re in it. Apparently this poison goes through the skin too, or maybe it?s acid. Whatever, the point is don?t touch it.
Believe it or not, this frog is important for something. One day you?ll see.
Impressive place.
This guy was awfully trusting of me. Bad move.
We enter the Palace Garden where we can do a short mini-game for a heart piece. If you wear the Bunny Hood you can breeze past the guards before they can adjust their leaves.
With that done, it?s actually easier to get caught. I?m serious.
I swear sir! The monkey made me do it!
There is literally no repercussions for getting caught in a royal private property, and all he says is ?Now I?m serious, don?t do it again okay??
Now what?s all this about? Some sort of ceremony?
Seems gossip has already started to spread amongst the people, making up wild exaggerations from mere rumours and accusations. How human.
Let?s go meet his Highness.
Nice touch with the crotch leaf there. Seriously though, I love this King?s design.
Such angry eyes, don?t you think?
At last, someone polite who isn?t screaming at my face.
You don?t say?
The Deku?s are so preoccupied with casting blame and punishing the accused that they can?t even focus on actually saving the survivors. Sounds familiar doesn?t it?
As you?ve guessed by now, the Deku?s represent the anger stage of grief. Once denial is no longer an option, where it?s so in your face it can no longer be ignored, the next step is to instead strike out, to try and prevent the cause of grief by hoping you can fight it. You fill up with strong emotions of unfairness, of envy, hoping you can scare the disaster away before it can hurt you. But all this does is blind you, poison you, you lash out at those who are innocent to the point it poisons your mind and your soul. I don?t believe the curse of the swamp being poisoned water was a coincidence.
?Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.? ~ Mitch Albom
Well, if we don?t hurry they?re going to be making Monkey Soup.
The beans again? What next, do I have to steal a cow from Romani Ranch to trade them with?
I know you?re a monkey, but can you stop scratching your butt and enjoying it in front of me?
I like to think he can actually float in this picture.
We now enter the other garden to find this supposed ?bean? seller.
A hole? Well I?ve jumped into worse situations.
What is even this?
For free? Least he?s letting us try his hoax product.
Will I be climbing up stalks then?
That was quick?
???.
I need a hundred of these, right now!
With our precious beans in hand we check out the side of the Palace.
Do your thing my beauties.
Score.
To make our way to the Monkey cage, we need to fly across the entire garden.
These basterds make a return, there are a few ways to deal with them. The first is to shoot them with your bubble, but it?s wonky and uses magic. The second is to fly over and drop nuts, which makes it really easy for them to shoot you. My method?
Avoid them entirely. The drawback is you?re risking falling, but least you?re not using anything up.
At last, the entrance.
Seems he won?t talk to us as a Deku, he probably thinks we?re here to mock him. Oh do we have a surprise for him.
Damn camera spin?
Notice this one is well-spoken? Perhaps it?s because he spends time with royalty.
Too high, my friend. I used to try really hard to cut his rope, like jump attacking from the ledge and such. But really this is just meant to get the most obvious solution out of the way.
Will my magical ocarina that can alter time do?
*Turns into Deku Scrub, pulls giant pipes from nowhere*
I just love Link?s reaction.
Uh oh, seems time doesn?t in fact stop just because we?re talking.
As they tend to do, I knew this one girl, it?s like every other week I find her in some guys room because he kidnapped her. Always different guys, that apparently kidnapped her from the same bar, crazy eh?
Finally! Something Link is actually familiar with!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Sonata of Awakening.
Let?s be honest, there was no way we could play that song without everyone in the room hearing it.
Usually before a temple run it?s recommended to rewind time, but I don?t like doing that. You see, there are some moments of continuity. For example, after playing this song, we come back to this scene.
0_0
Everything?s just falling to shit now.
You all saw that right? A character was just tortured in boiling water in a kids game. Heh, kids game my ass.
Moving on, time to find this temple.
Hey look! It?s that owl from that game that Link was in! What was it called again?... Oh well, doesn?t matter.
Much like the Hag?s, he doesn?t seem to recognize us.
This is a rather depressing observation on the destiny of Termina. That destiny was for it to fade away, even its name ?Termina? uses the word ?term? which means temporary. Whatever Termina is, it was never meant to exist for very long. But are we to fight destiny? Can it ever be changed? If Termina?s fate is to fade away, why should we intervene?
Four words: Because It?s Not Right.
Interesting thing to note, he claims the destiny of Termina is to fade, but acknowledges that we might have the power to change that. Destiny is not so unavoidable as it might seem.
This goes down as the most played song in this game, even more than the Song of Time.
Teleportation. Oh yes.
Looks like the source of the poison is down there. Wherever ?down there? is.
?Hello Link? having fun on your adventure??
Those things can be a major pain in the ass, they throw you off the bridge, but just bubbling them to death does the job.
*Nudge Nudge*
If you continue around the bridges you?ll come across a piece of heart.
For every special chest, each mask transformation has a unique animation. Deku Link literally jumps in, isn?t that the best?
Rather than go all the way around again, let?s try out that song?
OH JESUS WHAT?S HAPPENING!!
For some reason doing that is remarkably creepy for me. Anyway, on my next update I?ll be doing the first temple. See you then!
On this update I travel through the Southern Swamp, meet talking monkey?s and finally end outside the Woodfall Temple. Enjoy!
The expression on that monkey's face after his...er..."dip" roughly encapsulates my reaction as a kid. I seriously thought he was dead, for a moment.
Funnily enough, I didn't think the teleportation-explody-feather thing was scary. I thought it was awesome, for some reason. I was a strange child.
Good to see you back, keep up the great work! This thread has been an incredibly nostalgia bomb for me, so much so that I'm playing through the game myself now. So much awesome.
Funnily enough, I didn't think the teleportation-explody-feather thing was scary. I thought it was awesome, for some reason. I was a strange child.
Good to see you back, keep up the great work! This thread has been an incredibly nostalgia bomb for me, so much so that I'm playing through the game myself now. So much awesome.
Glad you're enjoying it! It was soon after I started this LP I learnt that people have actually developed HD texture packs for Majora's Mask. I've seen one in action and it looked amazing! Unfortunately I can't find the same one, and the one I found is glitchy and some of the textures don't work.woodaba said:
I was hoping to use it for the rest of the LP, but alas, curse my ineptitude.
Welcome back folks, we?re about to take our first step into this game?s first dungeon. Woodfall is a pretty simple dungeon compared to others, but there?s one section of this dungeon that takes ages to do with a keyboard as opposed to a controller (which I?ve yet to work out, if you have any experience with N64 controllers hooking up to a PC, any help would be appreciated).
To find the dungeon, the monkey made it quite clear we need to play the Sonata of Awakening as Deku Link.
The Dark Temples Rises.
We quickly fly across to this fairly small and simple looking temple. But appearances can be deceiving, there?s much more to this place beneath the surface.
See? Feels a lot bigger on the inside than the outside. As a special treat, every time we enter a temple I?m going to link (heh) the music in this thread, so you can get a better idea of the feel they?re going for when they designed this place. The music really does make a difference. Enjoy.
I like the comment that says they imagined all the wailing is actually a certain someone practicing deeper in the temple, makes a lot of sense.
For the first time ever, we use our Great Fairy Mask, each temple has 15 stray fairies, collecting all of them and returning them to the fountain will grant Link a huge bonus, so it?s basically a requirement to get them. However, some are quite tricky to collect, and they fly around in random directions, the Fairy Mask makes this a breeze.
As an added bonus feature, see those purple dots floating in the hair? That indicates there?s a fairy somewhere in this room, but it must be locked somehow otherwise it?d be flying towards us.
They can be in chests, bubbles, pots and sometimes even enemies. I?ll be showing the location of all of them, so you can consider this as something of a guide, but really this part will be quite short as it?s mostly be running room to room.
Seems we?ve found the source of the poison water.
It?s certainly an odd structure, so you know it?s important. Also, see those Lilly Pads? They?ll eat you if you stand on them too long. The way they look actually scared the shit out of me as a kid.
Inside a Deku Baba.
Inside the chest is a small key, to be honest the map and compass are optional in this temple, but I?ll be doing it anyway.
It?s these fuckers, we now get our revenge from the woods, but how can we damage them? It?s Deku Link?s time to shine!
We wait like the hunter before finally?
Leaping from a flower, sending them flying.
?Currrssseee yooouuuuuu Liiiiiiinnnkkkk!?
Rinse, and repeat.
We then use our key and enter the opposite side of the middle room.
I wouldn?t have thought I could move this, looking at it.
We meet again?
This part is another tricky thing to do with a keyboard, you have to light a stick and run across the planks to light the other torch. As always, the Bunny Hood helps. Especially since you?re being chased by flesh-eating Moths for some reason.
Those things just look god damn terrifying don?t they? But much like the turtles, a simple Flower-Boosted-Deku-Headbutt takes care of them.
Compass in hand, we head back to the previous room.
The previous rooms were lacking evil were they?
?Well shit, that?s actually quite unnerving.
Okay? dark, big room? where?s the death that?s no doubt speeding towards me?
Oh, she just meant little puffy black balls. While easy to kill they don?t appear until they?re right on top of you, making it a bit unnerving.
Room cleared, we get our prize.
But to actually exit this room, we?ll need to light this place up. Stick, fire, Bunny Hood, and the mixing there of.
Notice those roots filling this and the first room up? What am I saying, how can you not notice? I like to think those are the two giant logs that were attached to the top of the temple while it was submerged. Which makes the geometry of this place even weirder.
Those fucking Dragonflies can be a pain in here though.
We clear them out, exit and find ourselves?
In the middle room again. Only at the top.
By pressing the pressure pad (the first one) we get some ladders. The oppressive evil of this place sure is helpful.
If only we had something to shoot with, something that uses natural forces to accelerate projectiles of a possibly flammable material and could light up that torch. But alas, no such thing exists.
We enter the only door available and find ourselves in a previous room, we enter the only door up here to find?
A troll Velociraptor.
You can see it right? The troll face? All we need now is for him to wax philosophical conundrums and we have two memes in one shot.
?I wonder, if a dragon can use fire-breath, would he be disqualified from a Chili eating contest??
This guy is actually pretty badass. He?s very agile, and will jump from your attacks. The only way to hit him is right as he?s trying to hit you.
Before long, Philosophical-Velociraptor-Troll ponders his last thought? Will he dream?
But now our reward.
Boom. We have our Bow and Arrows back, we can now stop using that fucking bubble attack to hit anything further than 6 inches from us.
We head back into the room where you can notice a beehive on the wall. You shoot it, it falls, fairy falls out. You can?t explain that.
That thing is a trigger, shoot the eye, it cusses at you because that shit stings man, then starts.
Well now, what?s on the other side?
?Are you kidding me?
He just jumps up to me to get hit! This guy?s a pushover!
Oh Christ, you know shit?s gonna go down when giant Frogs start riding spiky turtles.
He?ll do his usual thing of spin around, but as the room full of turtles was no doubt training us for?
Headbutt!
He?ll then start climbing around the room, giving you a chance to shoot him with our new bow.
Rinse, repeat, and eventually he?s done. Truth be told, this is actually an extremely fun boss battle. It?s not particularly difficult but you have to use lessons from the previous rooms, not to mention it?s quite exhilarating dodging a spiky turtle with a giant fanged frog riding it.
Poor fella, he probably had no idea what he was doing.
Now all that?s left is figuring out where the hell the boss room is.
Well look at that, the water is clearing.
The structure rises and rotates, quite quickly I must add.
Does this mean the water in the swamp is fine now? Not quite, while this sorts out the water in the temple, we need to kill the boss to fix the swamp.
There are two fairies in this room.
Under the planks.
And in a beehive.
Now comes the really tricky part for me. The torch in the centre of the flower is still lit, and to continue we need to light that torch there. The solution? Stand on a peddle of the flower as it rotates and light it. With the keyboard and its imprecise turning of first-person mode... This is so painful it hurts.
Okay you don?t need to do this, but I wanted that Fairy damnit! You only need to press that pressure pad and we enter the final room before the boss.
Daunting, yes?
That?s twelve.
?But Yassen! There are still three fairies, surely they can?t all be in here, you must have missed one!?
I kind of get the impression they got lazy here. ?Eh, just throw those last three fairies in the last room, I need to hurry up and finish this Acid by the time we get to Ikana Valley.?
This can only be good.
We hear the beating of drums. Something is coming?
Battle music, go!
For any of you veterans of MM, you?ll no doubt notice the lack of chanting. For newcomers, Odolwa chants like he?s stuck on auto-repeat every 2 seconds. I never minded that much because I had no idea what he was saying, but turns out he?s actually chanting Mayan.
"K'iinam took ool!" = Head will ache and burn.
"Tookik taali!" = Come burn.
"A'alik beora!" = Dance now.
Funnily enough, as a kid when he says ?Come Burn?, I thought his chanting sounded like he was saying ?Whoops, you?re dying.? Enough trivia, let?s start this fight!
No shit, I was just going to smack my face into that big ass sword of his, thanks for warning!
Odolwa is different to most Zelda bosses as you don?t have to use the item you received in the temple to beat him. He?s less of a monster-shaped puzzle and more of a? what are the words? boss battle.
?Puny human boy is puny, smash under me foot.?
That?s a pretty good shot if I say so myself. Odolwa will spin like a top which is impossible to dodge, so you can only use your shield.
Calling in friends, classic move.
?No! Please! Me give up! Me give up!?
?Just kidding, me spin now and use flesh-eating moths.?
At times you can get serious clusterfucks like this.
At long last, after a pretty epic and reasonably difficult boss battle, he?s down and out.
Unfortunately we can?t wear that mask, it?s more like a trophy.
Woah? what was Odolwa keeping in that mask?
Wait? in the water there.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Oath to Order.
These things make the weirdest noises.
The water is back to normal! We did it you guys! Well, I did. You just watched? jerks.
Specifically, what we just met was a Giant. One of the four guardian giants of Termina, and our mission is to release and eventually call each and every one of them. Something to note, this game absolutely loves the number 4. Don?t believe me? Let?s recap.
There are 4 giants, 4 temples, 4 bosses, 4 races, 4 forms Link can use, the moon collapses on the 4th day, and if we just examine a map of Termina below?
Let?s do a little experiment. As I tell you the direction we?re going, run your finger across the map in a straight line. Seriously, do it.
We start in Clock Town, go South to the swamp, then go straight North to the Mountains, then from the Mountains go diagonally down-left to the Ocean, and then straight across the centre of the map to Ikana Valley.
That piece of trivia I just shown has probably made that abundantly clear.
*Shudder*
Wow, a sincere apology?
Well it?s progress. All it took was defeating a giant tribal warrior.
*Rustle rustle*
Well look who it is, have to admit just like the Deku King I love the design.
And a formal greeting! Now this is royalty.
*Cough* Could you not bring that up please? I still haven?t forgiven myself.
HA! How absurd!
As if! He?s such a calm, objective leader.
Yeah right this second the monkey is literally being boiled alive.
Well let?s see, we could use real logic and maybe find a backpack. Or we could carry her, she?s a plant after all.
FUCK THAT, VIDEO GAME LOGIC ALL THE WAY!
*Insert sexual joke about the Princess being so loose she can fit into anything.*
Right away, your Grace!
Actually let?s go get a power-up first. That monkey can handle a few more minutes of agonizing torture.
Yesss? let the hate flow through you, experience the full power of the Pink Side.
I pledge myself? to your nudity.
This places looks so much better, and we can now swim without my skin literally melting off my bones.
Lovely green.
There?s no way she could get out right?
Video game logic.
This won?t end well.
After seeing Game of Thrones, my mind now goes to dark places when I see this.
Do not want.
Remember how the Deku?s represent Anger? It stays true for the Princess.
This guy is awfully forgiving of the fact he was brutally tortured for literally the entire night.
This would have gone differently if I rewound time. Not to mention I think the Princess looks far more menacing in the light of the fire.
Something to note, we don?t actually have to do this. We didn?t need to rescue the Princess and could have just left. And the reward we get for doing this is nothing major. So why do it? Because I cared. Because I felt the need to make this place better and to stop the senseless anger. It?s subtle, but it?s there.
Why does no one ever notice the moon outside? But then, this guy has been in a cage so at least he has an excuse.
At this point they finally realize we can change shape, and we can even turn human without getting thrown out.
Just remember, anger is a poison of the mind.
You may be wondering why they picked Odolwa as the boss. What does that represent? Well, the Stages of Grief theory would suggest that Odolwa represents the anger within Link, the desperate struggle to maintain control over the primal parts of our mind. The parts forged in our evolution, we struggle forever to expand past the primitive tribes of our history that still fuels the deepest parts of our conscience. Without our society, would we not be just like Odolwa?
*Nudge nudge*
Hmm, ominous.
Easy enough? right? Guys?
The Butler is unbelievably fast.
Even with the Bunny Hood it can be extremely difficult to keep up, and Giants help you if you mess up.
The place is full of traps. Screw up once and you can lose him.
Nice shot if I say so myself.
He?s not making this easy is he? Does he actually understand the concept of ?reward??
Well this doesn?t look so bad?
Oh fuck off!
You have to break out of your concentration long enough to shoot this thing.
Screw you buddy. I liked you once.
This mask is pretty useless. Remember the hags? We use this to find mushrooms and they make blue potions for us. That?s literally it.
Son?
Okay, you mentioned him three times now.
Remember alllll the way back to the start where we found that depressed looking tree? Well, by now you figured out that the tree is undoubtedly his son who remains nameless. Hmm? I know, we?ll call him Woodaba. Get it? Because of the word Wood? And they?re plants?...
Moving on.
And by ?never? she means ?not until the tenth time?. You can only do this game when the water is clear, and if you rewind time that requires killing Odolwa again. That alone makes Majora?s Mask something unique, you can fight the bosses again and again.
There was nothing interesting to take pictures of, so just imagine I did this for about 3 minutes.
That?s all for now. Next time, I do some faffing about with my new bow, and begin my journey to the tips of Snowhead temple.
I should be doing other stuff but this LP caught and held my attention. I really enjoyed it! I always get anxiety in games where I have some sort of deadline, so MM wasn't my favorite LoZ game ever, but this is bringing back all the good memories I have of it, without the sense of "oh crap if I don't hurry up I'm going to lose the game!", so good job.
Ahem. Slight spoilers below.
Moving swiftly on.
I've always loved the boss battle here. You're right: it actually feels like a boss battle rather than a test to make sure you can use the new item you've got. It's much more involving than the "throw bombs at my stupidly obvious weak spot" trap that so many Zelda bosses fall into. Skyward Sword was really bad for this. God, I hate that game.
Another great update. You did indeed blow my mind with that, and it's a testament to your incredible expertise with this game. My current playthrough of MM is still focused on me fucking around in Clock Town, partly because of your in-depth sidequest coverage has led me to pull an All Mask run for the first time in almost a decade.
Still, thoroughly enjoying, keep it up!
WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY FACE AS A MASK OH GOD WHY THE HUMANITY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY SOUL IS TRAPPED FOREVER IN THE BONDS OF A MUTE CHILD WITH KLEPTOMANIA WHO ENJOYS COLLECTING THE SOULS OF THE DEAD AND WEARING THEIR FLESH AAAAAAAAAA
Moving swiftly on.
I've always loved the boss battle here. You're right: it actually feels like a boss battle rather than a test to make sure you can use the new item you've got. It's much more involving than the "throw bombs at my stupidly obvious weak spot" trap that so many Zelda bosses fall into. Skyward Sword was really bad for this. God, I hate that game.
Another great update. You did indeed blow my mind with that, and it's a testament to your incredible expertise with this game. My current playthrough of MM is still focused on me fucking around in Clock Town, partly because of your in-depth sidequest coverage has led me to pull an All Mask run for the first time in almost a decade.
Still, thoroughly enjoying, keep it up!
Some good news and bad news folks. The bad news is I was hoping to do another update tonight (especially since I finally got my N64 controller to work) but I accidentily deleted all my progress literally throughout my entire Southern Swamp section. Meaning I'll have to do all that jazz again to get back to where I was before. Fun fun.
The good news though is rather than leave you hanging, I've got some Majora's Mask themed goodies for you to enjoy. The last of which will be a conversation I had with a friend of mine, and to keep her identity secret I'll simple be calling her H. There will be some spoilers, so this is only really for veterans of MM.
I quite like this video, great clips from the game with an appropiate song. Full Moon, how can you get more appropiate than that?
I've also found some amazing fan art. Such as this
However this has to be one of my favourites.
But can't forget this. They've drawn a unique concept for Majora and actually plays into a theory about where Majora actually comes from.
This is just exceptional skill.
This comes up in our conversation towards the end, it's too funny not to include.
That'll do for the fan stuff, here's the conversation we had, you've been warned.
Hope you enjoyed this brief filler, I'll be sure to spend tomorrow actually progressing without fucking up yet again.
The good news though is rather than leave you hanging, I've got some Majora's Mask themed goodies for you to enjoy. The last of which will be a conversation I had with a friend of mine, and to keep her identity secret I'll simple be calling her H. There will be some spoilers, so this is only really for veterans of MM.
I quite like this video, great clips from the game with an appropiate song. Full Moon, how can you get more appropiate than that?
I've also found some amazing fan art. Such as this
However this has to be one of my favourites.
But can't forget this. They've drawn a unique concept for Majora and actually plays into a theory about where Majora actually comes from.
This is just exceptional skill.
This comes up in our conversation towards the end, it's too funny not to include.
That'll do for the fan stuff, here's the conversation we had, you've been warned.
H
But since I've played Majora's Mask probably more times than Genghis Khan raped a virgin, I didn't read the whole thing
Oh, sure, I thought it was pretty good.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Any recommendations or things I should talk about at some point?
H
Uh.. Hm... nothing I can remember off the top of my head.
You should insert dirty jokes. Lots of dirty jokes.
About how the Deku Princess can fit her whole body into Link's tiny, milky bottle opening.
Also, you should totally throw in a shameless pitch for the Majora's Mask Opera. Because seriously. It fucking exists. And that's awesome.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
That Princess is such a whore, you saw how hard she was jumping up and down on her own dad right? Serious sexual issues going on there.
H
That's what I'm talking about.
And you can say some racist shit about bayou monkeys. Except the monkeys in this game are white. Well played, NIntendo.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
They are idiots for the most part though, and the only well-spoken one hangs out with royalty.
Could be making a racist comment on how only the upper class have the capacity to say things properly.
H
he probably shines the Princess's dainty little shoes.
Or, you could say that the king tries to lynch the monkey because he can't stand to see his daughter fall for the help.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Oh Majora's Mask, you so crazy.
H
I think that a (surprisingly) genuinely good idea would to be to guide the reader through the sadder parts that he or she doesn't normally get to play. Like that bit about how if you save the Romani ranch from the aliens and then hang out with them until the Final Day, you get the scene where Cremia lets Romani try the Chateau and doesn't tell her why, and asks her to sleep in her bed so they can cuddle WHILE THEY DIE A TERRIBLE DEATH.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Yeah was planning that. I'm also going to show the bit where anju goes to the pond, asks the player if they've seen kafei then cries. But not till AFTER I've done their quest
H
No!
Showing them the consequences of their inaction is important because it urges them to complete their quest.
If you say, "This is what would've happened" it has a lot less impact than "This will happen (If you don't do something about it!)"
So insert it in the middle of the thing
DO IT
I SAY SO
Benjamin Anthony Vines
haha okay you have a point.
I was more thinking about how tragic it is to do so much to bring these people together, and then rewind time to make it all meaningless, but your point is better.
H
That's just how I played the game.
Looking at failure and then trying not to do it because I have infinitely many chances, thanks to time travel.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Funny how mm gave us more control over time than a game literally titled "the ocarina of TIME"
H
I know. But what I liked about MM that I didn't like about OoT was that time travel had consequences.
OoT you could travel back anytime, for any reason, with no consequences. MM, you LOSE YOUR SHIT.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
That's an excellent point, I'll have to remember to say that
H
Which is more realistic time travel, I think. Everything you've solved has gone back to hell, which I think is a compelling aspect of the game. It does make it seem like you don't have much control over the fate of Termina and it makes your feeble efforts seem more like a struggle than your adventures in Oot.
It's kind of Nihilistic, but fuck. What power does one kid really have? Not much. But he does what he can.
Which is cool, I guess.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
I'm starting to wish you could help me with this LP. But unless you were physically here that'd be quite difficult.
H
hi I'm H and I'm writing an essay about Majora's Mask.
HERP DERP.
I'd love to help you with the LP, but we do have that difficulty. Naw, you can just exploit my pearls of wisdom and use them in your LP.
Except you have to put them in quotes and attribute all of them to "Irma Gerd"
Benjamin Anthony Vines
I was more thinking I colour your words to point out what you type while I'm black, and we have mini-discussions and make our own points about certain scenes
But alas, this can never be.
H
Aw, well, just remember to mention the Satanic imagery of Stone Tower Temple and I'll be proud of you.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
dont worry, i have plenty to say on stone temple
H
Good. Everything you say had better have some sort of relation to dicks. Because that's what that temple is all about. Towers, worms, giant worms, erectile growth and lots and lots of dicks everywhere.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Yes I'm well aware of that, and the little triforces you can see being licked by the statues, implying a type of disrespect to the goddesses, so they built the phallus's in homage to their male giant gods, and the giant mask and stone temple to ascend into the heavens and defeat the goddesses with the power of the giants
But the goddesses used the light arrows to flip the tower upside down and sent them into hell, where they found majora's mask
which is basically satan.
H
I think I actually did read an essay about that once. But if I were a Hylian goddess I probably wouldn't mind getting eaten out by some massive pagan god.
Jus' sayin'
Benjamin Anthony Vines
You say the most whorish things some times, it's fantastic.
H
Sure, just because I can put myself in the shoes of a goddess getting ravaged by a manly, rock-hard pagan giant makes me a whore.
Actually, I think this conversation should just be copy-pasted into the LP.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Well that wouldn't make you a whore, but the fact you roleplay that in reality, dressing up as a goddess and telling a guy dressed as a giant to pound the fuck out of your triforce, does make you a whore.
But the good kind.
H
And that makes the brave man who's willing to do that with me the most wonderful whore of all.
I'd be happy if he can find the triforce at all. Most men are notoriously bad at it.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
That would be because each woman's triforce isn't in the exact same area of the sacred realm as other women's.
Not to mention goddesses like having their triforces touched in different ways.
H
Well aren't you the smart little guy in green?
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Hilary, I'm a whore. I touch triforces more often than the king of hyrule.
But this reminds me of something you'll enjoy. http://9gag.com/gag/4928880
H
TwiPri Zelda knows what's up.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
There's a comment about majora's mask zelda.
"Link, I'm pregnant"
"No worries!" *plays song of time
H
Also a comment about MM Zelda:
"Link, I'm not in this game"
"Then it's not my baby!"
"I just wanted to make you jealous. You fucking ****."
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Sounds like something she'd say.
H
Definitely.
But since I've played Majora's Mask probably more times than Genghis Khan raped a virgin, I didn't read the whole thing
Oh, sure, I thought it was pretty good.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Any recommendations or things I should talk about at some point?
H
Uh.. Hm... nothing I can remember off the top of my head.
You should insert dirty jokes. Lots of dirty jokes.
About how the Deku Princess can fit her whole body into Link's tiny, milky bottle opening.
Also, you should totally throw in a shameless pitch for the Majora's Mask Opera. Because seriously. It fucking exists. And that's awesome.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
That Princess is such a whore, you saw how hard she was jumping up and down on her own dad right? Serious sexual issues going on there.
H
That's what I'm talking about.
And you can say some racist shit about bayou monkeys. Except the monkeys in this game are white. Well played, NIntendo.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
They are idiots for the most part though, and the only well-spoken one hangs out with royalty.
Could be making a racist comment on how only the upper class have the capacity to say things properly.
H
he probably shines the Princess's dainty little shoes.
Or, you could say that the king tries to lynch the monkey because he can't stand to see his daughter fall for the help.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Oh Majora's Mask, you so crazy.
H
I think that a (surprisingly) genuinely good idea would to be to guide the reader through the sadder parts that he or she doesn't normally get to play. Like that bit about how if you save the Romani ranch from the aliens and then hang out with them until the Final Day, you get the scene where Cremia lets Romani try the Chateau and doesn't tell her why, and asks her to sleep in her bed so they can cuddle WHILE THEY DIE A TERRIBLE DEATH.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Yeah was planning that. I'm also going to show the bit where anju goes to the pond, asks the player if they've seen kafei then cries. But not till AFTER I've done their quest
H
No!
Showing them the consequences of their inaction is important because it urges them to complete their quest.
If you say, "This is what would've happened" it has a lot less impact than "This will happen (If you don't do something about it!)"
So insert it in the middle of the thing
DO IT
I SAY SO
Benjamin Anthony Vines
haha okay you have a point.
I was more thinking about how tragic it is to do so much to bring these people together, and then rewind time to make it all meaningless, but your point is better.
H
That's just how I played the game.
Looking at failure and then trying not to do it because I have infinitely many chances, thanks to time travel.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Funny how mm gave us more control over time than a game literally titled "the ocarina of TIME"
H
I know. But what I liked about MM that I didn't like about OoT was that time travel had consequences.
OoT you could travel back anytime, for any reason, with no consequences. MM, you LOSE YOUR SHIT.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
That's an excellent point, I'll have to remember to say that
H
Which is more realistic time travel, I think. Everything you've solved has gone back to hell, which I think is a compelling aspect of the game. It does make it seem like you don't have much control over the fate of Termina and it makes your feeble efforts seem more like a struggle than your adventures in Oot.
It's kind of Nihilistic, but fuck. What power does one kid really have? Not much. But he does what he can.
Which is cool, I guess.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
I'm starting to wish you could help me with this LP. But unless you were physically here that'd be quite difficult.
H
hi I'm H and I'm writing an essay about Majora's Mask.
HERP DERP.
I'd love to help you with the LP, but we do have that difficulty. Naw, you can just exploit my pearls of wisdom and use them in your LP.
Except you have to put them in quotes and attribute all of them to "Irma Gerd"
Benjamin Anthony Vines
I was more thinking I colour your words to point out what you type while I'm black, and we have mini-discussions and make our own points about certain scenes
But alas, this can never be.
H
Aw, well, just remember to mention the Satanic imagery of Stone Tower Temple and I'll be proud of you.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
dont worry, i have plenty to say on stone temple
H
Good. Everything you say had better have some sort of relation to dicks. Because that's what that temple is all about. Towers, worms, giant worms, erectile growth and lots and lots of dicks everywhere.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Yes I'm well aware of that, and the little triforces you can see being licked by the statues, implying a type of disrespect to the goddesses, so they built the phallus's in homage to their male giant gods, and the giant mask and stone temple to ascend into the heavens and defeat the goddesses with the power of the giants
But the goddesses used the light arrows to flip the tower upside down and sent them into hell, where they found majora's mask
which is basically satan.
H
I think I actually did read an essay about that once. But if I were a Hylian goddess I probably wouldn't mind getting eaten out by some massive pagan god.
Jus' sayin'
Benjamin Anthony Vines
You say the most whorish things some times, it's fantastic.
H
Sure, just because I can put myself in the shoes of a goddess getting ravaged by a manly, rock-hard pagan giant makes me a whore.
Actually, I think this conversation should just be copy-pasted into the LP.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Well that wouldn't make you a whore, but the fact you roleplay that in reality, dressing up as a goddess and telling a guy dressed as a giant to pound the fuck out of your triforce, does make you a whore.
But the good kind.
H
And that makes the brave man who's willing to do that with me the most wonderful whore of all.
I'd be happy if he can find the triforce at all. Most men are notoriously bad at it.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
That would be because each woman's triforce isn't in the exact same area of the sacred realm as other women's.
Not to mention goddesses like having their triforces touched in different ways.
H
Well aren't you the smart little guy in green?
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Hilary, I'm a whore. I touch triforces more often than the king of hyrule.
But this reminds me of something you'll enjoy. http://9gag.com/gag/4928880
H
TwiPri Zelda knows what's up.
Benjamin Anthony Vines
There's a comment about majora's mask zelda.
"Link, I'm pregnant"
"No worries!" *plays song of time
H
Also a comment about MM Zelda:
"Link, I'm not in this game"
"Then it's not my baby!"
"I just wanted to make you jealous. You fucking ****."
Benjamin Anthony Vines
Sounds like something she'd say.
H
Definitely.
Hope you enjoyed this brief filler, I'll be sure to spend tomorrow actually progressing without fucking up yet again.
I seem to have unusually bad luck with this game. First there?s deleting half my update, then I accidentally delete all my progress through the Swamp. It?s almost like this game is cursed or something, but that?s just silly. Oh well, I?ve got to finish what I started.
Since I?ve done everything that can be done with the Swamp cleared, with bow in hand there are some things I can now do to earn more hearts, but more importantly to upgrade my arrow capacity.
This is located in the in-between area between the fields and the Swamp.
Did you pick up he likes hunting yet?
Oddly realistic looking picture for this game?
But playin? it? That will twist yah balls someting fierce lad.
I finally managed to get my N64 controller to work, I tried doing this with the keyboard and it was impossible.
This is pretty simple (he wasn?t lying) you get infinite arrows to shoot every single Scrub, werewolf, and crow. So you can go full-on Rambo when he realized machine guns are for pussy?s and picked up a bow and arrow.
I eventually failed though and ran out of rupees, so I teleported back and decided to show you all perhaps the saddest moment in this game. In this timeline, I haven?t met Anju, so she hasn?t done anything about Kafei.
A man? No. Boy, yes.
Pause at disappeared there. Subtle hint she?s not sure he vanished so much as abandoned her.
The feels? I actually cried the first time I saw this.
Don?t worry Anju, I won?t abandon you and Kafei, I?ll come back and fix this.
Mood whiplash.
I only just got the bow and arrows and I?ve already upgraded them. The annoying part of this particular shooting gallery is that it?s not just about getting a perfect game and killing everything. Your remaining time adds to your score, and you need an absurdly high amount to get a heart.
Don?t ever play at this guy?s gallery, seriously guys.
This guy on the other hand?...
This one somehow manages to be even worse.
You see, with the last one you can basically go Rambo and shoot arrows everywhere. Here? If you hit a single blue octopus, you?re fucked. Miss a single octopus, you?re fucked. You can?t even quit out if you mess up, so you just have to shoot at blue ones to make the failure go by quicker, which is just sadistic.
At least getting the quiver is easy. It?s the heart piece that?s the *****.
We?ve now fully upgraded our bow and arrows. Yes, already. I always liked that, how you can upgrade them straight away if you?re willing to put the effort in.
You may have noticed the days have gone back to the first day, that?s because for fear of losing all my progress again, I immediately rewound time once I got back to where I was. But rather than waste these days, we?re going to do the 3 day mini-game challenges.
Basically, there are two mini-games that you have to get perfect scores in for the three straight days for a piece of heart each. They?re actually quite fun, if slightly frustrating.
For the record, the one who says darling is the woman, the one who says honey is the man.
I?m not surprised this place is empty. You may be asking yourself, what?s a Bombchu?
That?s a bombchu.
They?re basically bombs that have the amusing ability to run across the ground for a certain distance. Oddly enough, you don?t really use them that often throughout the game.
You just have to lay them down and watch them blow up the targets, but since the platform moves up and down, it?s quite tricky.
Since they just gave me their money, I like to think that last sentence was dripping with sarcasm.
Don?t we all know a couple just like this?
Now then, the next 3 day challenge is actually only for Deku Link.
Does anyone else think they look slightly Jewish? Maybe it?s just me.
This game is all about your flower control, which having a controller is perfect for.
These ones on the first day just move up and down, simple.
The time limit is extremely lenient for these games, an amusing contrast to the shooting galleries.
It?s actually Russian. If you?re curious about the name, it came from a book series I loved as a kid called the Alex Rider series. Yassen was a Russian assassin, I picked his name for a WoW character and just stuck with it ever since.
But now for something completely different. Remember that web covered door I said I was going to come back to? Well, here we come.
First we need beans, the magical fruit, from this helpful Deku. (So we don?t have to go through the garden again, helpful eh?)
Another helpful addition?
We can now kill the giant Octopus with an arrow.
Okay, Chinese architecture in a Japanese game. Hold on, what?s that thing up there?
OH GOD A NEW SPIDER KILL IT KILL IT!!!
Anyone else reminded of Aliens? I think Link needs a flamethrower.
Or I could just kill you? nah, that wouldn?t be very paragon.
Ganondorf: ?Renegade for life.?
Shut up, loser.
Throughout this building are 30 spiders, some crawl around, others hide. Just because it?d be boring to show, I won?t be doing a guide on where every single one is. There are wiki?s for that.
Here are what they look like. Only wish we could pull off their golden exoskeletons.
Since I?ve done everything that can be done with the Swamp cleared, with bow in hand there are some things I can now do to earn more hearts, but more importantly to upgrade my arrow capacity.
This is located in the in-between area between the fields and the Swamp.
Did you pick up he likes hunting yet?
Oddly realistic looking picture for this game?
But playin? it? That will twist yah balls someting fierce lad.
I finally managed to get my N64 controller to work, I tried doing this with the keyboard and it was impossible.
This is pretty simple (he wasn?t lying) you get infinite arrows to shoot every single Scrub, werewolf, and crow. So you can go full-on Rambo when he realized machine guns are for pussy?s and picked up a bow and arrow.
I eventually failed though and ran out of rupees, so I teleported back and decided to show you all perhaps the saddest moment in this game. In this timeline, I haven?t met Anju, so she hasn?t done anything about Kafei.
A man? No. Boy, yes.
Pause at disappeared there. Subtle hint she?s not sure he vanished so much as abandoned her.
The feels? I actually cried the first time I saw this.
Don?t worry Anju, I won?t abandon you and Kafei, I?ll come back and fix this.
Mood whiplash.
I only just got the bow and arrows and I?ve already upgraded them. The annoying part of this particular shooting gallery is that it?s not just about getting a perfect game and killing everything. Your remaining time adds to your score, and you need an absurdly high amount to get a heart.
Don?t ever play at this guy?s gallery, seriously guys.
This guy on the other hand?...
This one somehow manages to be even worse.
You see, with the last one you can basically go Rambo and shoot arrows everywhere. Here? If you hit a single blue octopus, you?re fucked. Miss a single octopus, you?re fucked. You can?t even quit out if you mess up, so you just have to shoot at blue ones to make the failure go by quicker, which is just sadistic.
At least getting the quiver is easy. It?s the heart piece that?s the *****.
We?ve now fully upgraded our bow and arrows. Yes, already. I always liked that, how you can upgrade them straight away if you?re willing to put the effort in.
You may have noticed the days have gone back to the first day, that?s because for fear of losing all my progress again, I immediately rewound time once I got back to where I was. But rather than waste these days, we?re going to do the 3 day mini-game challenges.
Basically, there are two mini-games that you have to get perfect scores in for the three straight days for a piece of heart each. They?re actually quite fun, if slightly frustrating.
For the record, the one who says darling is the woman, the one who says honey is the man.
I?m not surprised this place is empty. You may be asking yourself, what?s a Bombchu?
That?s a bombchu.
They?re basically bombs that have the amusing ability to run across the ground for a certain distance. Oddly enough, you don?t really use them that often throughout the game.
You just have to lay them down and watch them blow up the targets, but since the platform moves up and down, it?s quite tricky.
Since they just gave me their money, I like to think that last sentence was dripping with sarcasm.
Don?t we all know a couple just like this?
Now then, the next 3 day challenge is actually only for Deku Link.
Does anyone else think they look slightly Jewish? Maybe it?s just me.
This game is all about your flower control, which having a controller is perfect for.
These ones on the first day just move up and down, simple.
The time limit is extremely lenient for these games, an amusing contrast to the shooting galleries.
It?s actually Russian. If you?re curious about the name, it came from a book series I loved as a kid called the Alex Rider series. Yassen was a Russian assassin, I picked his name for a WoW character and just stuck with it ever since.
But now for something completely different. Remember that web covered door I said I was going to come back to? Well, here we come.
First we need beans, the magical fruit, from this helpful Deku. (So we don?t have to go through the garden again, helpful eh?)
Another helpful addition?
We can now kill the giant Octopus with an arrow.
Okay, Chinese architecture in a Japanese game. Hold on, what?s that thing up there?
OH GOD A NEW SPIDER KILL IT KILL IT!!!
Anyone else reminded of Aliens? I think Link needs a flamethrower.
Or I could just kill you? nah, that wouldn?t be very paragon.
Ganondorf: ?Renegade for life.?
Shut up, loser.
Throughout this building are 30 spiders, some crawl around, others hide. Just because it?d be boring to show, I won?t be doing a guide on where every single one is. There are wiki?s for that.
Here are what they look like. Only wish we could pull off their golden exoskeletons.
Some can only be reached with the magic beans, or an item we don?t have yet. But I?ll be doing masks and hearts as soon as I?m able to get them.
?Yassen, why are you capturing bugs??
I?m glad you asked! Some spiders hide in holes on the wall, you release these smaller spiders and they kick it out, presumably because the bigger spider is a pansy who doesn?t pay his rent.
?Come back when you replace the utilities, you deadbeat!?
Impeding our progress is a sleeping Deku, did we learn anything recently that could wake him up? You know, besides burning him.
The songs you learn to access the temples actually have some interesting effects. As opposed to the songs from Ocarina which were just teleporting.
It was at this point I realized I never showed off the new ability link gained from the Great Fairy of the Dark Side? I mean Power.
The range on this thing is huge. Very useful for clearing groups of grass or pots for items.
Kinda creepy.
Deku Link is in his element.
?And not because you were going to do it.?
Twilight Princess does this too, introducing a character whose greed ends up cursing him.
Another return from Ocarina, and this one serves a similar purpose, but with an extra add-on.
This is a mask I?d want in reality, to hear what my dog and cat are thinking would be pretty fascinating.
Well let?s try it out, they had a dog here for that very purpose.
He has excellent judgement for someone who licks his own balls.
Time for another heart, probably one of the more obtuse mini-quests in the game.
Oh look, Gossip stones. But one is bigger, how odd.
When you strike them, they tell you how much time you have left. They do something else if you set off a bomb next to them, which I?ll save for later.
Well, let?s see what it has to say for us.
?Ummmm, what? The hell is that supposed to mean? It?s actually asking you to play a song with a certain colour.
In our case, the Sonata of Awakening, which is green.
I don?t even know. Let?s just get this over with.
For the sake of not wanting to bore you, I?ll just show you the locations.
But first, what does this one have to say?
The Couple?s Mask? Hmm, wonder what that could be. And calm arguments? I know of one that seriously needed to calm down. This would be a great mask for domestic disputes don?t you think?
Last one, missed one. Whoopsie.
And then heart piece from nowhere?. Let?s get out of this place.
I?m back, bitches.
This is the game that would happen if Basketball suddenly became awesome.
This one is pretty fun and you get a quick feel for it, so doesn?t become frustrating.
?Like we often do for those neighbours who peep into our bedroom window.?
Next game.
This one is much harder, the platforms move in circles, so you have to perfectly time your fall.
I still manage to do it with enough time to make a sandwich.
Fun easter egg, you may have noticed the basket above the door looks pretty similar, what happens if we play the game out here?
A few rupees? Totally worth throwing bombs around a public square.
It?s Anju?s mother working the counter while she sweeps the hotel, I wonder how she?ll react to the Kafei Mask?
In short: not well.
Let?s see how she?s doing.
She?s smiling, but it?s a forced smile. She?s trying so hard to stay positive.
I keep coming back to Anju, and for good reason.
With nothing left to do, time to finish off these challenges.
They are determined to make a big show of their relationship aren?t they?
Looks easy right? Actually, the targets move around the room, while the platform simultaneously spins around. It?s not difficult, but it?s certainly not easy.
? I think I just stole their love. So THAT?S what piece of hearts are!
They get pretty pissed at us.
I might have possibly ruined their lives?
They seemed relieved.
Now for the Jew? I mean Deku.
This is a mix of both the first and second day, it is definitely the trickiest.
He is pissed.
Amusingly, if you try to play again they hiss at you and hide. Seems by doing these challenges we?re just making people hate us. But we get hearts? huh.
Done that. These stones are closest thing to mask guides in the game. But they?re still vague.
Done that too.
We?ve come back to Romani Ranch to commit gambling fraud. Because as he?s made it abundantly clear, the Hero of Time is not above using his powers for financial gain.
The dog races, but sadly no robotic rabbits to chase.
How are we cheating exactly? With the Mask of Truth, we read the minds of the dogs and pick the one that shows the most confidence in their skills, then bet ludicrous amounts of money on them.
There are some different colours which I think are meant to play red herrings, everything is randomised so the colour doesn?t make a difference.
The lady stashes 20 rupees in these pots, I think the Banker needs to set up a branch here.
Hmm, good but not enough.
Still not enough.
Close?
This poor boy will end up embarrassing himself.
That?s more like it!
I made a mistake here, to win a piece of heart you need to place first and win at least 150 rupees. So you need to pick the winner and bet at least 50.
On your paws, get set? GO!
He?s gaining up the inside! Come on you beauty!
COME ON BOY DADDY NEEDS A NEW HEART!
Don?t fall behind that golden prick! Faster boy, faster!
ARGGHHH second? *shrug* not bad.
Seeing that is always quite exciting for me. The camera angles are great, the music is fun and you still don?t know if you?ll win or not. That, and the way they run is adorable.
Let?s try again, who has even more confidence than the last dog?
The dog has a wife? *Insert ***** wife joke*
On your paws, get set? GO!
Keep the lead! Keep the lead!!!
Come on, don?t fail your ***** wife and your ***** children!
Woooooo! That a boy!
We?re up to 9 hearts now. And we haven?t even entered the mountains yet.
Before we rewind time though, let?s check on Cremia and Romani.
Oh?
?We?ve lost our livelihoods, our future, and my sister?s memories. But please, make yourself at home.?
Cremia is a tough lady, I can see why Anju and her are best friends.
Speaking of Anju, her family has arrived to wait out the apocalypse. Anju included.
It?s not too late Anju. I?ll fix this, just please, give me some time. This will not be your future.
The saddest part is that they?ll still die here anyway.
Mood whiplash, who the hell is Tortus? This is Anju?s Grandmother, who seems to be losing it a bit in her old age, and will never put down her book. She has two hearts for us, neither of which we can get for a while.
With nothing else left to do, we rewind time and next update shall make our way to the mountains. I?ll update as soon as possible, you won?t have to bargain with me over that.
Question time: Every time I get a mask I?ll ask you what you would do with said mask if you had it for real. In this case, the Mask of Truth, and let?s assume it works for any animal you touch.
Aw man, I knew I heard the name Yassen before! Those books were pretty freakin' awesome. For the most part.
Wait...is the owner of the first archer range...a cockney? Do we 'ave ol' landan town in Termina, eh?
Geez, the "new spider" looks like it should be saying "Kill me....kill me!" but, I guess Nintendo thought that might have been too dark for the kids game they were obviously creating /sarcasm
If I had the Mask of Truth, I'd probably use it to peer into either Grant Morrison or David Lynch's head. It's probably the psychic equivalent of halluciogenic drugs.
Wait...is the owner of the first archer range...a cockney? Do we 'ave ol' landan town in Termina, eh?
Geez, the "new spider" looks like it should be saying "Kill me....kill me!" but, I guess Nintendo thought that might have been too dark for the kids game they were obviously creating /sarcasm
If I had the Mask of Truth, I'd probably use it to peer into either Grant Morrison or David Lynch's head. It's probably the psychic equivalent of halluciogenic drugs.
