I think that idiots roam school grounds because idiots run school boards and political standings that put into effect this idiotic "child abuse" policies that makes it so easy for a kid to think that being disciplined is being abusive. Most of my "little shit" experiences were met quietly and they likely walked away with the satisfaction feeling that they intimidated me. If it had been allowed at school, I would have made a habit of carrying a knife. I probably have good potential of fighting and severely injuring someone coming after me, but I have no faith in myself, I do however strongly believe in doing simple things to assert myself as someone not to be fucked with. If I had been allowed to carry a knife, at least six bullies in Elementary, Middle and High school would all have had deep scars in their favored arm for starting something with me. My worst "little shit" experience was actually with a senior at my high school when I was a freshman.
That makes you wonder why the hell I call it a "little shit" experience considering he was a senior, twice my height and probably could have kicked my ass as he constantly threatened. He was just this asshole who thought that picking on me made him cool and I never understood why. He was just an idiot. Apparently he'd been arrested in the past and all that and so acted as though expulsion or jail time would be nothing to him. I believe him still. If I had had a knife, I would have stabbed up under his right arm the first day and twisted until that limb could do no more than hang at his side.
My other experiences were with kids my age, both times were met quietly at first but they were so intent on attacking me that I had to quickly shift into attacking someone. The first time was a small gang of five. One was a first grader and his gang was all third graders. Never understood why he didn't like me, or why a bunch of third graders took orders from a punk they could just as easily beat up. But they found me at the school's sand pit and taunted me, tossed things at me. Eventually I got sand thrown in my eyes and I panicked. I knew that if I didn't do something I was going to get hurt. So I managed to get my hands on the leader (I still swear that I could smell him because I wasn't very good at picking out voices then and I couldn't see) and sank my teeth into his right shoulder. I think a teacher talked to me about it. The pacifying talk. She knew I had done no wrong defending myself but since everyone seems to believe that nothing is solved with hurting somebody anymore I had to get that talk and was told to ignore them if they bugged me again. They did once, following me around the entire recess and throwing rocks around me. The ones that would have hit me I managed to avoid, which still confuses me to this day. After I spent the entire recess with my back to them and no intent of getting anywhere they could start another fight like that they broke off and left and never bothered me again. I think I remember talking to their leader once after something had mellowed him out and asking him why he did those things and he told me he didn't know. That frustrated me more than just thinking they were douche bags, but I had to take it because I was 6 years old and didn't know why anyone would want to hurt someone else unless it was their character in a video game. I just took it as "some people just wish ill on others."
The second time was near the end of my second grade year and it was actually a pretty petty reason in the eyes of most. I was raised proper and believed in following the rules set by the adults. Like no cutting in line. End of our 2nd recess of the day, a kid did exactly that and I told him "Hey, you cut, go to the back." and I was told no. I told him again that he had to go back and he started getting defensive about it. The confusion and frustration at this disregard for a rule I experienced has to be what set me off because I didn't even know this boy in spite of the fact he was my classmate. I grabbed his throat and pinned him to the wall. I think his feet were about at my knees. I want to say it wasn't any more than two to six inches off the ground, but for a seven year old, that feels awful high when the hand around your throat is what's keeping you up. The teacher pulled me off of him and I started crying when I was being chastised for trying to defend the rules set by the very people that were telling me I had done wrong. My correction was spending the next twenty minutes walking with my future 3rd grade teacher and talking to him about the situation. It was very enlightening. I liked Mr. Gann. He explained to me why doing what I did was wrong even though it was, in a sense, for the right reason. I still feel like talking to him was more a reward than a punishment and also feel that even though he was supposed to correct my idea that sometimes someone needs to be violently reminded of their wrongdoing was wrong in itself he also encouraged me to be careful about when I do it and to remember that sometimes I still need to do it.
I wish I could have remembered all this sooner. I have had a few morons older than me that needed a shot to the throat. Which brings me to my last "little shit" situation which is just as inaccurate as the senior.
My roommate's half-black boyfriend. Yeah, sounds racist, but it has to be. That's why he was a problem. He was "gangsta." Not like the guys walking around with pistols threatening you every turn. No. He was a "rapper" raised in San Diego and that made him "gangsta." He'd always reference "where I come from" whenever he wanted to teach me a "life lesson" too. Most recently, one of the last times I saw him and one of the strongest urges I had to assault him, my roommate owed me 60 bucks because I had paid the entire deposit on our apartment and she was paying back her half to me. I asked her about the 60 and INSTANTLY, he started talking about all this shit that had nothing to do with me that were supposed to be a good excuse to not collect money that she's owed me for a year. So I said "Hey, this isn't about you. Stop." and as usual he says "all right" walks away like he's done and we continue. Then he comes back again with the EXACT SAME BS and I had to again tell him to stop, still polite. We start again and he does it a third time. She and I snapped at him at the same time and he tries to push it a little more and I yell. He freezes, knowing he's overstepped bounds with someone he knows can hurt him, and goes back to the bathroom to finish what he was doing and she and I reach an agreement. Then he comes out saying "Ya know man, where I come from, when one man raises his voice to another; he puts his hands up." I didn't say anything, but I instantly imagined taking three long steps, pressing all four fingers and my thumbs together like a bird's beak and jabbing him in the Adam's Apple as hard as I could. His younger brother was standing right there and I knew that, in spite of this man's stupidity, his brother was morally obligated to defend his family. His brother I liked and this sense of duty I understood and had to respect. I didn't want to get into a fight with the younger brother because 1) he actually knew things, even if I called upon some weird ass fighting ability, I think he still could beat me with little more than fingertips and his medical knowledge and 2) because he was a good guy and I felt as though I'd make an enemy of him for doing it.
It's the backing down that frustrates me most. I know now that I could have done a lot more damage to a lot of people that thought they were tougher than me and my time to do it "without consequence," as most beyond the "legal adult" age sees it, is long past. So now I have to consider interactions with police and I'm more afraid of assaulting an officer out of frustration and making things worse if cops did get called. I have the bad habit of "ignore it and it will go away." That attitude got a 27 year old self-entitled n*****r leeching off of my very first home and even having every right and reason to beat him bloody and throw him out the door, I didn't. And anyone offended by the very mention of the N word don't panic. I don't hate black people, I just like to consider that word should be reserved only for the trashy PoS's that enforce all the stereotypes and still think they're valuable people. This guy worked at a Kentucky Fried Chicken until two months after my roommate let him move in with us. At the end of that two month time frame, he wound up fired. From a KFC! Of all the places to get fired from! Not only is fast food an easy job (No, I know about the speed and crap, I'm talking about the fuck ups it takes to get canned) KFC is the shittiest fast food joint in our town. The only way you could get fired from there is not showing up for work or doing something unbelievably unsanitary and being caught.
Okay, I'm sure there was a more appropriate thread to vent about that last one...but I felt like it fit considering I can easily compare this grown man to your year 7's to a point where I want to cry it's so pathetic how some people are. I could really use some more help in getting more aggressive at the right time rather than overthinking and missing my opportunity. I seriously encourage anyone with good advice to send me a message. I'd like to be able to punch a guy in the throat and throw him down rather than worry about the aftermath of stabbing someone since that's all I feel confident doing.
Also, as you can obviously tell, I'm American. Could someone please tell me what a "Chav" is? I thought it was just an insulting name, but the more things I read using "chav" I'm starting to think it's a type of person.