Love, why can't you find it?

[svenjl]

I found love - Dark Souls. Not even my wife punishes me like my evil undead mistress.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

The typical fear of rejection deal and all that. Being born with a cleft lip and palate doesn't help matters on appearance even if I've had a ton of surgeries to make my nose/lip look normal. I think I'd be considered fairly good-looking without it (except for the whole short and skinny thing). Long as I never take the plunge though I likely won't find any sort of love.

 

[MysticToast]

because after two relationships that have ended disastourously (excuse spelling) i just don't see the point in breaking my back over some girl that doesn't really like me that much.

i know this because IT HAS HAPPENED TWICE. from now on, i'm gonna let love come to me. and should that ever happen, i will eat my shoes, because i'm too different from anyone else to have any more than a short list of similarities with the the same gender, let alone the oppisite.

it'll happen when it happens.

You're 16 for fucks sake. You probably don't even know what actual love is yet. Typical Teenager ''Oh woe is me, I am so different, nobody understands me.''

that's not what i'm saying. what i AM saying is i have to many disconnections from the average person to find many friends, let alone love.

and FYI, people do understand me. mostly.

and yes, i do know what love is and i am very much aware what it feels and looks like.

please don't escalate this into an argument.

Why ofcourse you do, how could I question the vast Knowledge of Love that a 16 year old has?

So, how long did these ''Relationships'' last? 2 maybe 3 Days, or were they perhaps even weeks? I mean, you must have a huge amount of experience being at the ripe old age of 16. Especially since you are so different, because you know, everyone else is average, but you, nah, you're something else altogether.

You sound really bitter. Yes, the vast majority of teenagers don't actually know what love is and have never experienced it, but there is a small amount who have.

I've had one relationship in my life, that was when I was around 15. It was great and lasted for almost a year. Then one day she dumped me out of the blue. I sincerely believe I loved her (and still do). So don't be so quick to judge next time. It's rare for someone that young to experience love, but it happens.

XD So and how old are you now?

No, I'm not bitter lol, I just find it funny how many people in this Thread are passing out reasons that have precisely jack shit to do with love. And yes, I find it hilarious when a 16 year old thinks he's made suffcient bad experiences to be able to say that love has to come to him now xD

You can't experience love at that age unless you and your partner are under very special circumstances. You might get the feeling of being IN LOVE. But being IN LOVE and knowing what true Love is are very, very different things.

If you must know, I'm 18 now. And if you would have read my post, you would understand that I said most teenagers don't even experience that feeling. I personally believe it's possible to be in love at that age, if not very rare.

snip

Not to undermine that insanely long thing you typed there, but love doesn't always come from being together a really long time or enduring hardships. Those things can happen between two people who are already in love. Yeah, I wasn't even with that girl for a year, and yes I was younger, but I felt more strongly about her than I've ever felt about anything or anyone. That feeling never changed, even as I grew older a little and matured a bit. I wasn't going to call you an asshole but the fact that you think it's absolutely impossible for someone who is 16 to be in love, or that you think you can know exactly how I felt about that girl, is ridiculous.

You continue to miss the point. There is a difference between being in love and actual love. They are not the same thing. I also didn't say it is impossible, simply highly improbable and yes, actually knowing someone, the good and the bad, having experienced things with them is a base requirement for real love. And really, what are you arguing with here? That one Relationship you had when you were 15. Seriously, do you think you matured substantially in that timeframe at that age? I seriously and wholeheartedly doubt that. Ofcourse you aren't going to agree, you are taking this as a attack afterall, but realize, you have nothing to compare it with, it is litterally all you know, how can you have even the slightest clue if what you experienced was love? How can you actually say to me with a straight face that what I say is false when you don't even know if what you experienced really was true love? You can't, it really is that simple.

I didn't say I matured substantially since I was 15. Don't put words in my mouth. And you, yourself said it was not impossible, only highly improbable. So why are you finding it so difficult to believe I loved this girl (and still do. You seem to be conveniently ignoring that). Secondly, I'm not saying straight up that what you say is false. I'm saying that you don't always have to go through experiences with the other person to be in love with them.

EDIT: Correction on that last sentence. It makes it seem like I'm saying you don't need to ever be with someone to love them. I meant it more like you don't have to have gone through trauma or large amounts of pain with someone to love them.

Also, I'd like you to clarify something you said. "There is a difference between being in love and actual love". Those two sound exactly the same to me. Maybe you're referring to one believing one's in love? I don't know.

Thank you, you just proved me right.

I have to get to bed now, if you are genuinely interested in knowing what I mean by that, I will glady answer tomarrow. If you however think it is some point to give you leverage...well, quite frankly, you're wrong.

No, I am sincerely interested to see what you mean. Those two are the same thing. I'm not trying to "gain leverage".

 

[iFail69]

I'm a quality over quantity of relationships kind of guy, and no possible relationships have shown themselves in the past 4 years. Perhaps it's some kind of joke that some higher power is pulling on me, and yeah, at times I feel... meh, not going to explain all my feelings to a bunch of strangers, but yeah, I operate under the logic that surely, through probability, I am likely to find that certain someone at some point... Right...?

I have more female friends than I have male friends because I have been told that I am quite an effeminate guy in certain aspects and tend to share a lot more in common with girls than guys. Could be why...

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

Because I train myself to be asexual (I'm normally hetero), I don't like people, people don't like me, and love is too much of a hassle and distraction for my stature and way of life. Also I'm rather unattractive.

 

[Robert Ewing]

My current relationship has recently had the walls of trust pulled down.

I've had 14 girlfriends in my 18 years on this planet, which is pretty good. Until you hear that only one of them HASN'T cheated on me. 13 Of my girlfriends, including my current one, has snogged, dated behind my back, or slept with another guy.

Sigh, I suppose I can't find love because I'm painfully unlucky... But in a sense that I have luck to get my hopes up, and then the bad luck kicks in to take it away.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

I'm a loser. Pretty much all that needs to be said on why I can't find love.

No you're not. Try to imagine that concept as a delusion given to you by others. You are what you want to be. There's this very nerdy sci fi author named Harlan Ellison who's attracted many beautiful women over the years. As soon as he believed he was attractive and acted like he was attractive, that was what drew women to him. When you're the only one imparting information about yourself to another person, you are in control. Carrying others impressions of you is a waste of time.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

I mean, do you not interact with people of the oppisite gender? Do you not talk with someone whom you can share feelings with? How many of you are in school and sit and mock couples that sit together and snuggle, while you slowly die on the inside?

I suppose it's because my range of interests is too narrow. I work in construction (no women there), and I train in mixed martial arts (no women near my age). For various reasons, I don't care much for going to bars/parties. My only real interests are in things that are active physically or mentally, like MMA, rock climbing, video games, chess, running, and sports/recreational activities in general.

 

[CityofTreez]

Because love at my age is useless.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

The attraction is minimal, and I see only a normal friend. I'd much rather read a book with the time and effort it would take to run a relationship.
And I've had to be the Atlas before, I'm not going to be the Atlas again in addition to a developed allergy to women's bullshit.

 

[-Torchedini-]

Because I'm incredibly ugly.

Sometimes girls seem to show interest in me, but I tend to back away. There is no explainable reason on earth as to why any girl would actually want me, so I'm better off staying the hell away from girls who must just be trying to take advantage of me in some way.

That, and I don't understand that emotion. It defies all analysis. It quite frankly, confuses and scares me. I'm happier without it, without that distraction weighing me down, I can just have fun all I want.

And besides, I'm in uni. I have important work to do, I can't afford to risk the emotional torment after that L word right now. Afterwards? Maybe, but as I said earlier, the chances of a girl actually wanting me are very slim.

The L word is Learning right ?

 

[AnarchistAbe]

Cause I'm 20, not in college, and don't have many friends. In summary, I don't know people, and I don't know how to meet people :/

It's about the same for me, except I'm in college (I didn't notice the "not" there). Whenever I talk to somebody, I don't know what to say. Talking about classes is just so generic.

For me, meeting people is easy. But, it's the age that throws me off. I'm 20 (not old enough to go to bars, but too old to hang out at 'younger' venues), and I have no colleges around me. Suburban Indiana is not kind to peoples in my situation xD

 

[AnarchistAbe]

Cause I'm 20, not in college, and don't have many friends. In summary, I don't know people, and I don't know how to meet people :/

This^ And I'm inside all day, the city is 40 minutes away, and I don't really have a need to go outside.

Damn straight! It's scary out there!!!

 

[RaikuFA]

1. bullshit. ive been trying to get rid of my shyness all my life and no stratedgy works. its a mental disease that cannot be cured

Spoiler: I know this video has been done to death on this site, but I think its use is warranted in this situation.

Please. That is the saddest excuse I've seen in a long time. You can change virtually anything about yourself (short of, like... Down's syndrome, or permanent paralysis, or something along those lines) provided you want it bad enough.

If you want to want to quit being shy, then just man up and quit being shy. It's tough, but doable.


Oh, and calling it a mental disease (besides being incredibly wrong) is probably a bit insulting to people who actually have mental illnesses. Just throwing that out there.

you mean people like me who have been rejected or got broken up with because they told their significant other that they have a mental disability? ive said it before that i have aspergers which has social awkwardness mixed in with it. so im sort of right in that. not 100% but theres somne truth in what i said

i still agree with my "all women are shallow" saying as ive never met one that even had a chance to accept me, faults and all

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Because I am a misanthropic asshole who flips off the The World on a daily basis. Whose concept of love is skewed by his upbringing, to a point where views love as hate and vice versa.

 

[DustyDrB]

I guess it's the stereotypical "fear of commitment". I'm really just trying to have fun, so I get into relationships on a whim and for shallow reasons (I dated one girl because we liked the same music. No, really. That was it. We were basically concert buddies with benefits). But oh well. I don't want kids and don't feel any need to get married any time soon. And it is fun, and I've only had one bad breakup.

I'm not looking for love. I'm looking for a good time. That makes me sound like a manwhore. I don't mean it like that. I'm actually somewhat prudish despite all this. I just mean I like being with someone who is fun to be around for whatever reasons. Sure, things might not last long. But I've accumulated lots of memories that make me smile when I think back on them, and have very little regrets.

 

[Generalissimo]

because after two relationships that have ended disastourously (excuse spelling) i just don't see the point in breaking my back over some girl that doesn't really like me that much.

i know this because IT HAS HAPPENED TWICE. from now on, i'm gonna let love come to me. and should that ever happen, i will eat my shoes, because i'm too different from anyone else to have any more than a short list of similarities with the the same gender, let alone the oppisite.

it'll happen when it happens.

You're 16 for fucks sake. You probably don't even know what actual love is yet. Typical Teenager ''Oh woe is me, I am so different, nobody understands me.''

that's not what i'm saying. what i AM saying is i have to many disconnections from the average person to find many friends, let alone love.

and FYI, people do understand me. mostly.

and yes, i do know what love is and i am very much aware what it feels and looks like.

please don't escalate this into an argument.

Why ofcourse you do, how could I question the vast Knowledge of Love that a 16 year old has?

So, how long did these ''Relationships'' last? 2 maybe 3 Days, or were they perhaps even weeks? I mean, you must have a huge amount of experience being at the ripe old age of 16. Especially since you are so different, because you know, everyone else is average, but you, nah, you're something else altogether.

first, sarcasm isn't offensive or annoying it's sad, because you couldn't pick a more intelligent response.

secondly, both of them total up to a year and a half. so get off my back, i have my ways you have yours. can you please just leave this here!

 

[Doclector]

Because I'm incredibly ugly.

Sometimes girls seem to show interest in me, but I tend to back away. There is no explainable reason on earth as to why any girl would actually want me, so I'm better off staying the hell away from girls who must just be trying to take advantage of me in some way.

That, and I don't understand that emotion. It defies all analysis. It quite frankly, confuses and scares me. I'm happier without it, without that distraction weighing me down, I can just have fun all I want.

And besides, I'm in uni. I have important work to do, I can't afford to risk the emotional torment after that L word right now. Afterwards? Maybe, but as I said earlier, the chances of a girl actually wanting me are very slim.

The L word is Learning right ?

Walked right into that one.