Love, why can't you find it?

[similar.squirrel]

Not especially attractive, insecurity and all the annoying behavioral patterns that come with it. Then again, I've had one or two fulfilling relationships, so those attributes don't prevent me from 'finding love'. Keeping it seems to be the problem.

 

[RaikuFA]

I'm a loser. Pretty much all that needs to be said on why I can't find love.

No you're not. Try to imagine that concept as a delusion given to you by others. You are what you want to be. There's this very nerdy sci fi author named Harlan Ellison who's attracted many beautiful women over the years. As soon as he believed he was attractive and acted like he was attractive, that was what drew women to him. When you're the only one imparting information about yourself to another person, you are in control. Carrying others impressions of you is a waste of time.

I don't think that's how it works... I used to tell myself I was and it was just self delusion

 

[Kuroneko97]

Plus I often have low self-esteem, and when you think there's no chance of being loved back, you don't feel like trying.

Yeah, same. I go to a small school, and I have at least one class with everyone in my grade, pretty much. If I asked someone out and got rejected (extremely likely, I'll get back to that) it would be incredibly awkward.

Also, I have (justifiably, I think) low self esteem, I'm awkward around girls I like, and I'm not very attractive, as my profile picture will attest.

You don't look that bad. Although you look rather sad.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Plus I often have low self-esteem, and when you think there's no chance of being loved back, you don't feel like trying.

Yeah, same. I go to a small school, and I have at least one class with everyone in my grade, pretty much. If I asked someone out and got rejected (extremely likely, I'll get back to that) it would be incredibly awkward.

Also, I have (justifiably, I think) low self esteem, I'm awkward around girls I like, and I'm not very attractive, as my profile picture will attest.

You don't look that bad. Although you look rather sad.

I think I was just tired. Picture is like six months old, so I can't remember exactly.

 

[Agemt_Smith_53]

I need help on getting this girl to love me its kinda hard any tips

 

[SckizoBoy]

I have confident issue (my shyness get the better of me) and while honestly I don't think I'm interesting nor funny enough for a girl to date me (I'm fine who I am but that doesn't apply to everyone view on me).
Also while I prefer to date a Chinese girl but the fact that I can't speak Chinese properly will be more than enough to put her off (it will be awkward if her friend or family speak Chinese more than English).

... Huh... see, I'm the opposite. I can speak Chinese, but there are so few Chinese girls that I know that I can stand. One of them is jokingly teaching me Mandarin... but she's pretty much it. The only others I tolerate are my sisters...(!)

No, I am sincerely interested to see what you mean. Those two are the same thing. I'm not trying to "gain leverage".

You're having an argument with a clearly peeved individual there... still, 'being in love' is a form of strong infatuation, only deeper and perhaps even more blind than a normal crush. It is often based on the more baser aspects of human nature. When in love, you love a person first, before respecting or trusting them. When you genuinely love someone, it is the reverse, you respect and trust them first, and for those reasons (whether consciously or not), you love them.

OT: (again) ... I think I've found another reason... not so much that I might never find it again, but the fear that I will lose it again. Death took my first, trauma took my greatest, but both losses severely weakened my resolve...

 

[Bat Vader]

The reason I can't find love is because I choose not to find it. I have no intention of ever getting into a relationship. The main reason is because I am not good at trusting people and I can't see myself ever trusting someone that much. Another reason is because I don't want children and staying out of a relationship helps ensure I never become a father. Plus, I value my time way too much to let someone else interfere with it.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I have two club-feet and smell like offal.jpg

 

[Chaza]

HAven't bothered to look / don't really know how to look.