Love, why can't you find it?

[The Pinray]

I'm in a very happy relationship right now. I found love.

But I'm guessing you've never fallen in love and been heart broken by that person?

Love isn't something you can look at objectively. It's emotional. It's crazy. You get swept up in it. If you want to dissect it with your brain then you're doing it all wrong.

When you lose someone you've been completely consumed by (especially that 'first love'), people tend to think that they'll never lose this person. Things are perfect. They plan for the future and see no other ways of living without that person they love.

Then they leave you. Break your heart. Your future disappears. It's a terrible feeling. You feel as though you can never love again. But you can. It just takes getting over. Which takes time. We're not unfeeling robots.

I believe it Sigmund Freud who once said, "We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never so forlornly unhappy as when we have lost our love object or its love."

Or perhaps you believe as Plato once said, "Love is a serious mental disease."

If some people wish to steel themselves, shutting down emotionally so to avoid pain, then that is their prerogative. I have no right to judge.

 

[awsome117]

I did find love. Twice. Both ended tragically (and the last one being recent) however, so I'm not looking for love (for the moment anyway).

When the right one comes along, I won't have to look it'll just happen. Just got to keep an open mind and an open heart and things tend to work out. At least that's how I see it.

EDIT:

Holy crap, never thought I be ninja'd on something like this lol

 

[Agemt_Smith_53]

I'm in a very happy relationship right now. I found love.

But I'm guessing you've never fallen in love and been heart broken by that person?

Love isn't something you can look at objectively. It's emotional. It's crazy. You get swept up in it. If you want to dissect it with your brain then you're doing it all wrong.

When you lose someone you've been completely consumed by (especially that 'first love'), people tend to think that they'll never lose this person. Things are perfect. They plan for the future and see no other ways of living without that person they love.

Then they leave you. Break your heart. Your future disappears. It's a terrible feeling. You feel as though you can never love again. But you can. It just takes getting over. Which takes time. We're not unfeeling robots.

I believe it Sigmund Freud who once said, "We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never so forlornly unhappy as when we have lost our love object or its love."

Or perhaps you believe as Plato once said, "Love is a serious mental disease."


thats true

 

[Jazoni89]

Not having any opportunities, coupled with my increasing social impairment.

Life is really hard for me at the moment, and change is needed if I'm ever going to progress, and do these things.

 

[Jonluw]

The reasons are very complicated.
Lots of stuff interacting and shit.
Mostly, I'll attribute it to the fact that I don't think I could stand to be in a relationship, that I'm socially awkward, and I'm no good at expressing emotions.

Just can't imagine a relationship ever working out.

It's not that it really bothers me, but there's just this nagging voice in the back of my head saying "maybe I'm missing out?"

One of the first threads I made was on this topic, actually.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.200199-Romance

Ah, nostalgia.

 

[meglathon]

<---- massive nerd with zero social skill

 

[Wolfhowl the shadow lurker]

I never been in a relationship due to the fact I have no friends and talk to no girls even if I did I'm told I'm not a very nice guy by my dad brother and a few other people I have talked to

that's why I have never had love or ever think I will have

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I'm not hot, I don't go to clubs and I don't wear miniskirts. I'm also really really shy.

 

[Creator002]

Because I don't want it. Simple enough.

 

[akfg666]

In the words of Haddaway:
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more"
Don't bother anymore because I've been hurt enough

 

[Doclector]

Because I'm incredibly ugly.

Sometimes girls seem to show interest in me, but I tend to back away. There is no explainable reason on earth as to why any girl would actually want me, so I'm better off staying the hell away from girls who must just be trying to take advantage of me in some way.

That, and I don't understand that emotion. It defies all analysis. It quite frankly, confuses and scares me. I'm happier without it, without that distraction weighing me down, I can just have fun all I want.

And besides, I'm in uni. I have important work to do, I can't afford to risk the emotional torment after that L word right now. Afterwards? Maybe, but as I said earlier, the chances of a girl actually wanting me are very slim.

 

[JoJo]

Because at this point in my life, I really can't be arsed with the pressure of maintaining a relationship, I just want to enjoy myself right now and in a few years when I'm ready I'll look again. I've asked out a couple of girls in the past, no luck, but I have faith it'll all work out in the end.

 

[Crazy]

Because they all try to run when I give them candy.

 

[Mate397]

reason: being the silent shy guy. i think that says it all...

 

[Nickolai77]

I'm a pretty average looking, socially competent guy, 21 years old, in university where i frequently meet new people every day.

Not quite sure why i've been single for the last four years tbh, probably a combination of indecisiveness and circumstance.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Dudes, I found love. Sure I didn't really do a whole lot with it once I found it, but at the very least, I proved that it does exist.

The important thing to keep in mind is to be yourself (don't laugh! I'm being cereal here!) and to keep an open mind. Your 'love' might not be what you expect (cus' perfect people live in our fantasies), but they will respect and admire you if you remain honest to yourself.

 

[IamQ]

Simple. I haven't found someone to fall in love with yet.

 

[winginson]

Because I am dark, cynical, pessimistic, unemotional and cannot empathise with or read people in regards to what they feel about me or what I'm saying. And cheerful.

I become obsessed with small things constantly and blabber about them for ages (see first point)

Because almost every girl around my age and intellectual level has gone to Uni. Almost all the girls left are at college or are below me intellectually. And almost all of these are taken. And almost all single girls don't seem to go out socially.

Because I seem to exude an aura of "Stay the hell away" and "Hate this guy".

TL;DR Very few girlsmy age left + any girl I would like is almost certain to not like me.

 

[CrashBang]

Donno. Been single for a year now. Maybe it's karma for breaking up with my last girlfriend but I just haven't met anyone new yet. All the girls I've met recently are either in relationships or really not my type. I don't socially struggle in any way so I guess it's just a matter of waiting for the right girl to come along...

 

[Esotera]

Note that I said "YOU" not me. I read alot of posts where people complain that love doesn't exist, or that they can never fall in love, or they will never or they aren't capable of it.

I want to know why, many people give vauge reasons. "I had a horrible relationship, and now I can't love anyone" right... why?

I mean, do you not interact with people of the oppisite gender? Do you not talk with someone whom you can share feelings with? How many of you are in school and sit and mock couples that sit together and snuggle, while you slowly die on the inside?

My grand-mami told me "there's millions of fish in the sea, ya just gotta use the right lure" how many of you are not even out there fishing because you think you're not worth it. When I'm sure most of you have great things to bring to relationships. What makes you afraid to try?

This sort of makes the assumption that everybody everywhere wants a relationship. This is a false assumption. I've had past relationships where I've fallen in love, and they really weren't that fun, but if I wanted to I could love again. But I really cannot be bothered with all the time and effort it requires.

I have a lot of work to do daily, simply don't want a relationship. Also couples snuggling is damn nauseating, I think I speak for the majority saying this.