Love, why can't you find it?

[Brandon237]

I'm engaged to the same girl I met at 15 (I'm 24 on Saturday).

I'd be lying if I said relationships are hard, because they're not.
If you click with someone in just the right way, it's really not hard.

I'm not the stereotypical, socially awkward geek.
The geek part is true, I just don't break out in a cold sweat when it comes to dealing with people. You'd be surprised how just being a funny guy can get you through most situations.

Damn... as far as these things go, you are my Escapist role model.
And the last part is true for me too, people have relied on me to do many things simply because I am confident...

OP: I have not had trouble with this, I am 16 and have been going out with my girlfriend for around a year and three months... and it has been amazing. There have been some external things (ie: parents and her ex) that caused bumps, but otherwise all good. She really is amazing, we also share many ideas and a similarly warped sense of humour which makes for funny times

 

[Guardian of Nekops]

At the moment, this is why.

I found it.

I had a good job, friends, hobbies... stability. The one thing I didn't have was someone to love... there was a girl I knew online, who I'd liked for five years, but she was in another relationship so I kept my mouth shut, lived my life. You know, it was fine. Went out with a couple other people, tried to make the relationships work... no dice. Still, it was fine. I had everything else.

Suddenly, she was available and so was I. We talked, we connected more deeply than ever, we started dating. We talked about something more... everything more. It was great. The only problem was she was finishing up college six hundred miles away. We'd been dating for about a year and a half, and I had to choose between renewing my enlistment or not.

I quit my job. I left my friends. I put everything I owned in a truck and drove it six hundred miles to be with her.

Three months later, I was out on the sidewalk, with the ring I gave her in my pocket. It's been almost a year since then, and the darn thing's still there... I could use the money if I pawned it, and Lord knows it's not doing me any favors to keep finding it there, but... yeah.

That said, at the moment I don't have much of anything left to offer, so there's not much point in looking.

 

[chstens]

Let's see... I guess it's because I just don't really try, but also, most of the girls I have had a crush on have been in a relationship. To be honest, it doesn't really bother me,

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

A good friend and I have a (joking) list of "Why I Don't Have a Boyfriend." Included on my list is:

-Cell phone rings to "Banana Phone" for calls, and...
-Cell phone rings the "Legend of Zelda chest-opening sound" for text messages
-Refusal to simply let anyone beat me in any game, ever
-Secret nerdiness (as defined by the aforementioned friend, I don't look like someone who has any geeky hobbies... but talk to me, and it's suddenly revealed that I game, watch anime/read manga, am a computer geek, et cetera, et cetera...)
-Tomboyishness

...The list goes on...

On a more serious note, though, I've had plenty of guys ask me out. I hang out with an almost exclusively male group, as a matter of fact. So why am I not going out with anyone? It's pretty simple: I don't have anyone I care for in that way, at least at the moment. The last person I was interested in... well, he asked me out at the worst possible time, when I was going through some intense family drama, so I turned him down. Simple as that.

 

[Yopaz]

Now this is a very private question. However no-one here knows me so what the heck.
1: I am not good looking.
2: I am not very good at seeing signals.
3: I feel awkward when someone tries to pick me up (almost at a level of anxiety)
4: I am afraid of taking chances because I've had some bad experiences in the past where everything about me could be used to make me feel bad.
5: I'm not sure how I should feel if I really am in love or if I've ever been in love.

However despite all of the the reasons above I apparently made quite a good impression on this one girl (who was far out of my league) without actually doing something different than what I normally do. That said I do flirt a lot and come up with some really great compliments half the time.

 

[awsome117]

I think it is because they are to busy crying about not being able to find any on the internet. The fact that it would require them to leave their parents basements and possibly talk to an actual person is far to much of a deterrent for them.

Well I would agree with you on most of your points (besides the parents' basement, some people attend college) this isn't about them, it's about you.

So without saying your reasons for believing/not believing in love, or even if you found it or not you didn't really answer the question.

 

[Blow_Pop]

I want to know why, many people give vauge reasons. "I had a horrible relationship, and now I can't love anyone" right... why?

because I've been cheated on way too many times to trust anyone enough to be in a relationship anymore and I'm a cynical ***** now.

When I'm sure most of you have great things to bring to relationships. What makes you afraid to try?

Also, rejection. Plus the only person I'm interested in (and I'm talking more than just a physical "let's jump into bed for a night or two together" way) lives about 5,082 miles away. Long distance doesn't work(from experience tried it, got cheated on, heart broken and the guy eventually turned gay or came out)

Also, I'm too much of a flirt naturally. Meaning I'll just be talking cars or video games with someone and its perceived as flirting by everyone else and to me its a harmless conversation about things that interest me. From experience, guys don't like it when they are in a relationship and their girlfriend flirts (or what they perceive as flirting) with another guy. They get clingy, jealous, and possessive and I have no patience nor tolerance for that kind of shite in my life. Also, the men out here are absolute douche's. I'd like a straight, unmarried man out here to prove me wrong with that one. Oh and be interested in me and have me interested in him. My standards are ridiculously and incredibly high and the guys out here that meet them are very flamboyantly gay so it just doesn't work out. And the girls out here...yeah....two faced backstabbing bitches so... they're fun to sleep with but not for relationships. Or they are too high maintenance. Good enough reasons for you?

 

[Alcamonic]

Because... apparently I don't understand how to make myself liked among others.
I also have trust issues, so I have a hard time letting people get close to me (if they even want to spend time with me in the first place).

The kind of woman I am interested in would have to have brains and an interests for science and/or psychology. And guess what... none to be found where I live.

Sometimes I wonder if I should even bother trying or just face my destiny that I am and most likely will be "Forever alone".

 

[Duruznik]

Currently I'm in a situation where I have minimal contact with people my age. It's kinda unavoidable.

 

[S-Unleashed]

Every woman I loved so far, does not want me, is with someone else or wants a girl, but I'm still looking.

 

[MarsProbe]

Because I live in a dive. Seriously, this place is a dump. There's nobody decent here!

Nah, but seriously, it's probably because at the moment there just isn't anyone in my current social circles within my age group (or at least what I class as my age group) who one would refer to as "available".

Also, I tend to be just a bit too reticent at the times it would really matter to make any kind of positive impression.

Also, I know a good number of people do this these days if they feel they are stukc in a rut relationship wise, but I blatantly refuse to use any sort of dating/relationship site. No. Just no.

 

[Twilight_guy]

Who said I was looking for love? If I wanted to find it I'm sure i could but it doesn't interest right now. [/Forever Alone Sour Grapes]

 

[RabbidKuriboh]

I find it utterly incomprehensible beyond the whole unconditional love thing me and my dogs have also the opposite sex finds little appeal with a chubby,cynical,dry witted nerd

 

[joeman098]

the friend zone. CURSE YOU FRIEND ZONE

x2 - Every time without fail. I HATE YOU FRIEND ZONE.

my advice from what ive learned Take chances make moves early dont u even let her think of the friend zone!

 

[SinisterGehe]

I haven't ever felt love, I am not planning to and as far as I know how my brain works, I wont fall in love. I have had bunch of girls that have "liked" me, but I have never felt anything towards anyone. I assume that I wont and I will aim my life's goals with that in my mind. I will leave falling in love and keeping to human legacy alive, it is not my job. Also I like solitude, so... I think, I am not going to bother working to get in to a any "special" relationships, I am just fine with having friends and that is enough for me.

 

[Chrono212]

What makes you afraid to try?

Because I, sir, fear failure and rejection above all else.
Due to various events in the not too distant past I feel that I am neither ready nor able to have an adult relationship with anyone.
Ever.
...
And that's my chat-up line. Good, huh? ^_^

 

[NoNameMcgee]

The comments in this thread make me feel REALLY good about myself.

OT: Because women don't realise how amazingly stunning and charismatic I am. Just kidding. Probably a mix of circumstance and the fact that I don't actively search; also I need a job and get some money coming in before I worry about having another relationship. Relationships are expensive. I'm confident in my personality and my looks so I'm not too worried about my future in terms of romance.