Love, why can't you find it?

[awsome117]

because after two relationships that have ended disastourously (excuse spelling) i just don't see the point in breaking my back over some girl that doesn't really like me that much.

i know this because IT HAS HAPPENED TWICE. from now on, i'm gonna let love come to me. and should that ever happen, i will eat my shoes, because i'm too different from anyone else to have any more than a short list of similarities with the the same gender, let alone the oppisite.

it'll happen when it happens.

You're 16 for fucks sake. You probably don't even know what actual love is yet. Typical Teenager ''Oh woe is me, I am so different, nobody understands me.''

that's not what i'm saying. what i AM saying is i have to many disconnections from the average person to find many friends, let alone love.

and FYI, people do understand me. mostly.

and yes, i do know what love is and i am very much aware what it feels and looks like.

please don't escalate this into an argument.

Why ofcourse you do, how could I question the vast Knowledge of Love that a 16 year old has?

So, how long did these ''Relationships'' last? 2 maybe 3 Days, or were they perhaps even weeks? I mean, you must have a huge amount of experience being at the ripe old age of 16. Especially since you are so different, because you know, everyone else is average, but you, nah, you're something else altogether.

This.

I love you.

 

[TakeyB0y2]

Because I'm gay and want a long-term relationship that isn't all about sex... Problem is is that long-term relationships always seem to be taboo or "hetero-normalizing" to other gay people.

To top it off, I don't know very many gay people anyways, and the ones I know either:

A) Just want one night stands with different guys every night (ick).

or

B) Just aren't compatible with me at all.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but when you only have a chance at 5% of those fish, and 90% of the 5% just can't work out, well... Ugh...

Or maybe I'm just too picky...?

I guess I'll be forever single and a virgin. Buuut I'm actually okay with that as long as I have great friends, that's all that matters to me.

 

[Bobbovski]

1. I'm not a supersocial person so I don't meet allot of new people.
2. I've realized that I'm not that super interested in a/ready for a relationship ATM. So I'm semi-happy being single.
3. My attractiveness is probably around average. I'm most likely pretty forgetable.

 

[RaikuFA]

a running theme I've seen is 1 "shyness" 2 "inability to let go of a past love" 3 "fear of being to ugly" and 4 "I just don't want it"

1: Shyness is easy to break, and it really just starts with changing up your routine. Instead of taking the left hall to get to class, take the right. Don't park in the section of the parking lot you always do, find a new spot. Always order the same thing at resturants, change it up. This will help break you of that, it worked for me and I didn't have anyone to tell me it would, I just assumed it would.

2: You have to let go, there's nothing there for you and holding on will just push you away from everyone. Life isn't a movie, a fun spastic girl isn't going to show up and totally make you forget the past love, it has to be done by you. (I have a long story here, but I will not share unless asked to)

3: No one is to ugly to be loved, and that is a fact. I recently attended a funeral (why does it start with 'fun' btw) and there was a woman there who, and I mean it, had no neck. It went from chest to chin, she wasnt strong or built, or fat, she just had no neck, and she had a husband. "But she's a woman, she has all the power" False. I've seen many men where I work who have wives, be it young or old, and many of them are "ugly" as you would describe them. Now not everyone will see it as so, and don't expect anyone to just fall in love with you, it's something that must be worked on, over months and even years.

4: You don't want it because you haven't experinced it. Love is something that will change who you are, what you do, who you hang out with. True love doesn't just change you physically but spiritually and emotionally. Love is something thats hard to describe. But I can best say it's like surving something that should've killed you, or a fresh breath of cold mountain air. You come out and that first breath, that deep inhale, that feeling you get from "being alive" is the feeling love spread through you every time you see that person you're in love with.

1. bullshit. ive been trying to get rid of my shyness all my life and no stratedgy works. its a mental disease that cannot be cured

2. this i agree with

3. i am, and i get told this all the time by any girl i ask out. and you know what? the ones i ask out are the ones youd see at comic con or magic tournaments and theyre not as attractive as those anorexic patients that you see in people magazine

4. whats the point of dating when its just mini prostitution mixed with the lottery? think about it. you pay for the gas to drive, the dinner, the show etc and you still have a slim chance of getting in a relationship. admit it women you go on one night stands just so you can get a free meal

 

[badgersprite]

I'm not looking for it. I'm twenty years old. I think I can wait a few years before I start completely defining my self worth in terms of other people.

I'm happily single. Anyone who defines their self-esteem on whether or not they've "found love" or whether or not they're in a relationship has some issues. Neediness and co-dependence are not attractive qualities.

 

[The Funslinger]

I'm engaged to the same girl I met at 15 (I'm 24 on Saturday).

I'd be lying if I said relationships are hard, because they're not.
If you click with someone in just the right way, it's really not hard.

I'm not the stereotypical, socially awkward geek.
The geek part is true, I just don't break out in a cold sweat when it comes to dealing with people. You'd be surprised how just being a funny guy can get you through most situations.

Yeah, I am noticing how humor gets me a positive reception. I've been about a bit in *that* respect, but a little bit of an issue I'm having being in a new place is that I look around, and all these preformed social cliques are there, with two thirds of the people all paired off.

 

[Hank Wants Pie]

It's... Because I'm fat.

 

[The-Epicly-Named-Man]

I don't doubt the existence of the commonly lauded idiocy that is "true love" because I've had a bad relationship in the past. I doubt it's existence because the concept in something clearly dreamed up by either infatuated or randy semi-poets that have as much understanding of how their own mind operates (not that I really have either) as they have... cake? Sorry, I couldn't think of an appropriately scorn-filled simile. :/ Feel free to insert your own, I'll be repeatedly banging my head of the wall in a (probably vain) attempt to get it to work.

 

[King_1]

Because I'm not naive; I'm going to change and anyone who claims to be in love before ~26 has no idea what love is and this is usually proven by either a divorce or apathetic relationship with their partner 20 years from now.

 

[newwiseman]

I had a good life through college, then my friends went home and/or elsewhere for work; I got a local job.

I don't go anywhere but what's between work and home, I prefer to spend my free time gaming or sleeping.

My co-workers are all twice my age and the students are half my age.

I suppose I could meet a minimum wager at Target or Best Buy but most of them are still in HS... I just need to find some social extra curricular activity with a high ratio of attractive intelligent women.

 

[MysticToast]

because after two relationships that have ended disastourously (excuse spelling) i just don't see the point in breaking my back over some girl that doesn't really like me that much.

i know this because IT HAS HAPPENED TWICE. from now on, i'm gonna let love come to me. and should that ever happen, i will eat my shoes, because i'm too different from anyone else to have any more than a short list of similarities with the the same gender, let alone the oppisite.

it'll happen when it happens.

You're 16 for fucks sake. You probably don't even know what actual love is yet. Typical Teenager ''Oh woe is me, I am so different, nobody understands me.''

that's not what i'm saying. what i AM saying is i have to many disconnections from the average person to find many friends, let alone love.

and FYI, people do understand me. mostly.

and yes, i do know what love is and i am very much aware what it feels and looks like.

please don't escalate this into an argument.

Why ofcourse you do, how could I question the vast Knowledge of Love that a 16 year old has?

So, how long did these ''Relationships'' last? 2 maybe 3 Days, or were they perhaps even weeks? I mean, you must have a huge amount of experience being at the ripe old age of 16. Especially since you are so different, because you know, everyone else is average, but you, nah, you're something else altogether.

You sound really bitter. Yes, the vast majority of teenagers don't actually know what love is and have never experienced it, but there is a small amount who have.

I've had one relationship in my life, that was when I was around 15. It was great and lasted for almost a year. Then one day she dumped me out of the blue. I sincerely believe I loved her (and still do). So don't be so quick to judge next time. It's rare for someone that young to experience love, but it happens.

 

[Wispchamp345]

I have to say, the biggest problems I see are: fear of rejection and belief in social conditioning. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but fear is never a good excuse not to do anything. Fear can be overcome. It doesn't matter if its fear of spiders, fear of heights, or fear of failure/rejection. All fears can be overcome or controlled. The best way is exposure therapy. Expose yourself to whatever it is you are afraid of, but repeatedly and in controlled circumstances. If you are shy, start out talking to random people, and gradually work it up to actually asking people out. If you are a afraid of failure/rejection, then practice the great art of failing/getting rejected, so that you become desensitized to it. In everyday life, just say things that you know people are going to disagree to, then work it up to asking people out when you know they are going to say no. I use to be both really shy, and terrified of rejection, but now I am not. Anytime my fear of something stands in my way, I use a greater fear, my own fear of death. When you truly remember the fact that you will only live once, and that life is not infinite, can you truly say this measly fear of rejection is strong enough to stop you from moving forward?
The other crappy excuse is things born from social conditioning: "I am ugly", "I am poor", "I am stupid". None of these things truly matter to most people, and the few that that they do matter to, are not worth your time. We believe these things, because of the media, despite the fact that they are honestly not true to real life. No one is perfect, and no one needs to be. With over a trillion people in the world, can you honestly say that everyone is going to dislike you?

 

[Simskiller]

Cause I'm 20, not in college, and don't have many friends. In summary, I don't know people, and I don't know how to meet people :/

This^ And I'm inside all day, the city is 40 minutes away, and I don't really have a need to go outside.

 

[King_1]

a running theme I've seen is 1 "shyness" 2 "inability to let go of a past love" 3 "fear of being to ugly" and 4 "I just don't want it"

1: Shyness is easy to break, and it really just starts with changing up your routine. Instead of taking the left hall to get to class, take the right. Don't park in the section of the parking lot you always do, find a new spot. Always order the same thing at resturants, change it up. This will help break you of that, it worked for me and I didn't have anyone to tell me it would, I just assumed it would.

2: You have to let go, there's nothing there for you and holding on will just push you away from everyone. Life isn't a movie, a fun spastic girl isn't going to show up and totally make you forget the past love, it has to be done by you. (I have a long story here, but I will not share unless asked to)

3: No one is to ugly to be loved, and that is a fact. I recently attended a funeral (why does it start with 'fun' btw) and there was a woman there who, and I mean it, had no neck. It went from chest to chin, she wasnt strong or built, or fat, she just had no neck, and she had a husband. "But she's a woman, she has all the power" False. I've seen many men where I work who have wives, be it young or old, and many of them are "ugly" as you would describe them. Now not everyone will see it as so, and don't expect anyone to just fall in love with you, it's something that must be worked on, over months and even years.

4: You don't want it because you haven't experinced it. Love is something that will change who you are, what you do, who you hang out with. True love doesn't just change you physically but spiritually and emotionally. Love is something thats hard to describe. But I can best say it's like surving something that should've killed you, or a fresh breath of cold mountain air. You come out and that first breath, that deep inhale, that feeling you get from "being alive" is the feeling love spread through you every time you see that person you're in love with.

1. bullshit. ive been trying to get rid of my shyness all my life and no stratedgy works. its a mental disease that cannot be cured

2. this i agree with

3. i am, and i get told this all the time by any girl i ask out. and you know what? the ones i ask out are the ones youd see at comic con or magic tournaments and theyre not as attractive as those anorexic patients that you see in people magazine

4. whats the point of dating when its just mini prostitution mixed with the lottery? think about it. you pay for the gas to drive, the dinner, the show etc and you still have a slim chance of getting in a relationship. admit it women you go on one night stands just so you can get a free meal

1. Lol no it's not. The clear issue you have is zero confidence.
3. Then do something about it. I'm going to take a guess you aren't ripped and/or a fashionista...
4. Gunning for love at a young age is naive. Saying you don't want anything is bullshit to be frank. At a young age, it should all be light hearted, not serious. Women go on one night stands because they enjoy sex *shocker*. So do men *gasp*. It's that simple and if you aren't stupid about it, good fun.

 

[rockhard556]

i don't understand the whole thing
(also capchaca wanted me to type the infinity symbol the first time)

 

[Hank Wants Pie]

Oh and also, if you find a girl who mildly likes games, listens to Dubstep, that stays away from the good looking douche-bags and has an intelligent mentality I will record myself chewing a doorknob. I dare you.

 

[Matthew Kjonaas]

Because only my close friends understand me which is bad since I do not have many close friends, and I suck when it comes to talking to people. I rewrote this five times because I did not like the way it sounded, just think of me talking to someone. Also I never know what to say to them and what if they just want to be friends or have a boyfriend? That did happen to me once by the way sadly, in other words I do not know why I can only guess. (rewrote eleven times)

 

[Hank Wants Pie]

I have to say, the biggest problems I see are: fear of rejection and belief in social conditioning. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but fear is never a good excuse not to do anything. Fear can be overcome. It doesn't matter if its fear of spiders, fear of heights, or fear of failure/rejection. All fears can be overcome or controlled. The best way is exposure therapy. Expose yourself to whatever it is you are afraid of, but repeatedly and in controlled circumstances. If you are shy, start out talking to random people, and gradually work it up to actually asking people out. If you are a afraid of failure/rejection, then practice the great art of failing/getting rejected, so that you become desensitized to it. In everyday life, just say things that you know people are going to disagree to, then work it up to asking people out when you know they are going to say no. I use to be both really shy, and terrified of rejection, but now I am not. Anytime my fear of something stands in my way, I use a greater fear, my own fear of death. When you truly remember the fact that you will only live once, and that life is not infinite, can you truly say this measly fear of rejection is strong enough to stop you from moving forward?
The other crappy excuse is things born from social conditioning: "I am ugly", "I am poor", "I am stupid". None of these things truly matter to most people, and the few that that they do matter to, are not worth your time. We believe these things, because of the media, despite the fact that they are honestly not true to real life. No one is perfect, and no one needs to be. With over a trillion people in the world, can you honestly say that everyone is going to dislike you?

A friend of mine once came up to a girl that he had a crush on and went: "I really like you and I want to be together with you." and you know what happened next? "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA" the girl went.

Point is fear is a good thing, but only in a certain measure, it's not right to dismiss it as something to be thrown out the window.

 

[Crazycat690]

1. I don't think any girl would ever want me, so the fear of rejection plays a huge part in it.
2. I want to find love, but I also value my personal time alot also, so whenever I notice a girl is "taking" too much time from my life, I bail out of whatever is going to happen. Fear of commitment I guess...
3. I have several fetishes that I don't know how to get a girl to go along with.
4. I simply don't know how to start meeting people.

However, I'm doing one last effort to save my future social life, if that fails then I'm destined to be a lonely nerd, although a part of my problem is that I'm totally okay with that.