Reading your response and seeing some of the crap people in here have spewed "love" sounds like a weakness I'd rather be free of, but hey if that's your thing more power to ya.FrankatronX said:
Love?
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Love occurs at point of recognition, as does hate. Yes, it can occur at first sight, although usually doesn't, much like hate.
It's possible to love (romantic love) more than one person at the same time, although it's very psychologically painful and I can't imagine anyone wanting that condition to continue, which means that one of the loves fades.
Romantic love and sex are not actually linked, and I disagree with the use of "lust" by many of the posters in this thread. Best friends are linked romantically regardless of whether there's a sexual component.
Lust and love are separate issues. Lust is about fucking and breeding, there's no emotional aspect.
The sexual component of love is not lust, it's sexual attraction. Sexual attraction and sex are not fundamentally about breeding, they are about intimacy and a desire for greater intimacy. Sex should be used not as a way to have fun, stave off despair, or pass the time, as it's often used in many of today's societies. It should be used to become closer to loved ones where there's a shared sexual attraction.
It's possible to love (romantic love) more than one person at the same time, although it's very psychologically painful and I can't imagine anyone wanting that condition to continue, which means that one of the loves fades.
Romantic love and sex are not actually linked, and I disagree with the use of "lust" by many of the posters in this thread. Best friends are linked romantically regardless of whether there's a sexual component.
Lust and love are separate issues. Lust is about fucking and breeding, there's no emotional aspect.
The sexual component of love is not lust, it's sexual attraction. Sexual attraction and sex are not fundamentally about breeding, they are about intimacy and a desire for greater intimacy. Sex should be used not as a way to have fun, stave off despair, or pass the time, as it's often used in many of today's societies. It should be used to become closer to loved ones where there's a shared sexual attraction.
1 I think that you can feel an instant attraction to someone, and a feeling that you've met someone who you share a lot of common ground with. That can then grow into love if you pursue it, but I don't believe in true love at first sight.
2 I don't believe in a one true love. I think it is just a matter of compatibility, and there will be any number of people you can be compatible with.
3 I don't think it is a case of 'falling out of love' but people do change as they get older and meet new people, move in different social circles and find new interests. Then the things that made them fall in love with each other just aren't there anymore and people drift apart until they realise, and by then it is usually too late.
4 I think people can be in love with more than one person at a time. However, most people don't allow these feelings to develop out of respect for the first person they fell in love with. I'm sure it does happen, and if everyone knew where they stood, it could work. I doubt it really works well in practise though, people get jealous.
5 Yes, yes they can.
2 I don't believe in a one true love. I think it is just a matter of compatibility, and there will be any number of people you can be compatible with.
3 I don't think it is a case of 'falling out of love' but people do change as they get older and meet new people, move in different social circles and find new interests. Then the things that made them fall in love with each other just aren't there anymore and people drift apart until they realise, and by then it is usually too late.
4 I think people can be in love with more than one person at a time. However, most people don't allow these feelings to develop out of respect for the first person they fell in love with. I'm sure it does happen, and if everyone knew where they stood, it could work. I doubt it really works well in practise though, people get jealous.
5 Yes, yes they can.
The man you're looking for is Tim Minchin, the song is thisDrakane said:
I'm only slightly sad
OT: effectively, yes love is a thing, but there's no such thing as "love at first sight" (that's called lust). To sum up personal opinion in a pith sentence; love is wanting to go to bed with someone at night, and then being glad to wake up next to them the next morning.
Love is not lust. I am sure no one lusts for their parents. Lust is to get people to have sex for the species to live on.
Anyway, it is a feeling that makes you want to die for someone, that when you go on a trip, can't wait to get back and be in their company. It is a feeling that allows you to tolerate their presence for extended periods of time.
But that is just me.
Anyway, it is a feeling that makes you want to die for someone, that when you go on a trip, can't wait to get back and be in their company. It is a feeling that allows you to tolerate their presence for extended periods of time.
But that is just me.
That's where my brain went too.WaysideMaze said:
OT: Yes, I have been and am in love with my wife. It's a difficult thing to pin down though. I think "love" is a different thing for each person. To me, it's being able to be myself with my wife, and have no fear that she'll judge me negatively for the things I enjoy doing. She also accepts the aspects of my personality and interests that she doesn't necessarily share as part of who I am. I feel the same towards her. That's kind of how I view love.
Well aside from silly highschool crushes I can't say I've given much thought on the issue. I'm kinda hoping it'll just happen one day, although highly unlikely.
I would love to believe in the concept of soulmates and stuff. That would probably feel so nice to know that someone is there for you with everything you want in a person wrapped up nicely in a single package. The only catch is that you need to find him/her.
I really wish I could sincerely believe in soulmates. But I don't.
I doubt I will ever experience this love feeling that everyone keeps describing.
Many of the relationships I see around me seem to have turned sour and my view of love has turned sour similarity.
I don't really believe in love I guess, or at least don't believe it is something within my reach.
I am a soulless monster apparently.
Anyways, I wanted to link this.
I think this might grant some insight.
I would love to believe in the concept of soulmates and stuff. That would probably feel so nice to know that someone is there for you with everything you want in a person wrapped up nicely in a single package. The only catch is that you need to find him/her.
I really wish I could sincerely believe in soulmates. But I don't.
I doubt I will ever experience this love feeling that everyone keeps describing.
Many of the relationships I see around me seem to have turned sour and my view of love has turned sour similarity.
I don't really believe in love I guess, or at least don't believe it is something within my reach.
I am a soulless monster apparently.
Anyways, I wanted to link this.
I think this might grant some insight.
Have I fallen into love? Yes.
First time was when I was 17 years old, it was an extreme, overpowering crush really. Also sort of tragic because the girl in question had a boyfriend in her class already and although I ended up doing a few romantic things and she did take note of me, she couldn't really make a choice. It was generally a bad situation and obviously she did not feel as strongly herself, when highschool ended, everyone went their seperate ways.
I've developed a knack for falling in love with girls who are in relationships already since then, no idea why (I don't know beforehand). Usually I'm respectful of their relationship and let off, which has been the cause of several unhappy periods in my life. It has also caused me to only have a series of short relationships that weren't really based on love from either side.
I'm beginning to wonder if taking the high route is right though, especially since the last time the love was obviously from both ways. Honestly, I think I should fight harder for it, even though that isn't exactly honorable
For me, it's hard to determine what type I'm going to fall in love with, it really starts from either friendship or otherwise quite suddenly after spending only a small amount of time with that person (like with my first crush).
First time was when I was 17 years old, it was an extreme, overpowering crush really. Also sort of tragic because the girl in question had a boyfriend in her class already and although I ended up doing a few romantic things and she did take note of me, she couldn't really make a choice. It was generally a bad situation and obviously she did not feel as strongly herself, when highschool ended, everyone went their seperate ways.
I've developed a knack for falling in love with girls who are in relationships already since then, no idea why (I don't know beforehand). Usually I'm respectful of their relationship and let off, which has been the cause of several unhappy periods in my life. It has also caused me to only have a series of short relationships that weren't really based on love from either side.
I'm beginning to wonder if taking the high route is right though, especially since the last time the love was obviously from both ways. Honestly, I think I should fight harder for it, even though that isn't exactly honorable
For me, it's hard to determine what type I'm going to fall in love with, it really starts from either friendship or otherwise quite suddenly after spending only a small amount of time with that person (like with my first crush).
My girlfriend and I are in love right now (I mean that as in we have been in love for a while and still are) I honestly cannot imagine my life without her. She completes me, she is the kindest, most caring, and genuine person I've ever met. There have been lots of times where she has almost dumped me or I felt like dumping her (and just so you know, that's only because of our major mental problems we both have) and it immediately makes my heart sink into my chest, it feels horrible. I wouldn't change her for anything in the world and I will love her till the end of my days.
Bro I'm so deep I can't even see anything anymore.
OT: No, I don't think that love is instantaneous, it evolves through relationships, however things can escalate real quick. No, the idea of a soulmate is hogwash. Yes, not entirely sure if when you fall out of love you never loved them but I do think that relationships will evolve even in romantic ones and some people are not going to want to sail in that boat if they don't like where it's headed. You can be in love with as many people as you want baby. Yes gay people can be in love with other gay people.
Edit: Speaking of which, this reminds me of a great song. Let the Hoff do his stuff.
In the words of a great modern philosopher:
"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds."
"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds."
I don't think I've ever "fallen in love". I've found girls physically attractive before, not just sexually but in general, and I've been close friends with some of these girls. I have no idea if that constitutes "love" or not though.
I think we can all agree love at first sight is bullshit, unless love is purely physical attraction, because that's all you can tell about someone at first sight. Also, I don't think you can realize that you've loved someone all along because that would imply that you fell in love with them at first sight (which as we established is bullshit), but just didn't realize it. I'm pretty sure you would know if you were in love. Most good things take time to develop.
You serious? Are you implying that we were pre-ordained to love one specific person? Of course not. That sounds like mysticism. I'm sure you can fall in and out of love with people, and probably love multiple people. The fact that divorce exists and that cheating exists seems to suggest so, how could you argue otherwise?
No, it means things changed.
I can't see why not, though my guess is the more people you love, the weaker your bond to each is because you're dividing yourself up amongst so many people. I imagine one strong bond is better than lots of weak ones.
Now I know you're joking. Why would that matter? Are you asking if 2 strait men can fall in love? Like as in a bromance? I doubt it since there seems to be an inherent physical side to love. So without physical attraction I think it's just a really strong friendship.
Though sometimes it's a little hard to tell.
Yeah, several times, sadly though it's mostly been unrequited. You get rather obsessed about the person, you can't stop thinking about them, you want to talk and be with them. When you're with them you're generally in a very good mood, such a good mood that sometimes i imagine it's like being high on drugs. In a way you become addicted to that person, which given what we know about brain chemistry probably isn't far from the truth. It makes breaking away and disengaging from that person quite difficult, but in the end you do get over the withdrawal symptoms and move on.
I think love certainly evolves over a relationship. Generally you have a lovey dovey honeymoon period that lasts a few months and then you settle into a sort of routine where you get to really know that person in depth. In a way then the longer your with someone the deeper your love for them grows, but of course as you learn more about that person you may find less to like about them and you can certainly fall out of love.
I don't believe in love at first sight you can certainly be very attracted to someone at first sight and want to know them better- but love is only something that can really develop once you're friends with that person. This may be my problem with me actually and the opposite sex- I have to become friends with someone before any romantic affection can grow in order to motivate me into asking that person out. By that time however girls tend to see me just as a friend.
My theory is that there's probably around a million people living around the world who are "perfectly" compatible in terms of looks and personality with any given person. The trouble is being at the right place at the right time and right circumstances to meet any of those people. It certainly doesn't happen to everyone though, a 50% divorce rate kind of shows that.
I think if you fell out of love chances are you weren't really all that into the person, but that doesn't mean you never loved them at all. Love is, remember, experiencing a load of "feel good" chemicals in the brain, something i think most people experience even in the most turbulent of relationships. If you've had such a love mental high with that person then you've been in love, and you can fall out it in future.
I think it's possible for some but certainly not me. I don't think i've ever romantically loved more than one person at a time, i'm very monogamous romantically. I couldn't handle poly or open relationships.
Well of course, one of my friends is gay and from talking to him i don't think the feelings he experiences for certain people of our gender is any different to what i feel for the opposite.
Let me fix that video for you.WaysideMaze said:
OT: OP: Yeah everything you post is possible some it highly unlikely. I myself fall in love with women that are "taken" and then place me in that hell hole called the friend zone.