Make baseless assumptions about game characters!

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noble cookie

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Aug 6, 2010
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Banjo and Kazooie are criminal masterminds out to steal all the worlds supply of jigsaw pieces. Then blow it all on hookers and alchohol. Somehow.
 

Admiral Stukov

I spill my drink!
Jul 1, 2009
6,943
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Shepard's a jerk.
Doom is a distant prequel to Warhammer 40 000, and Doomguy is actually the Emperor.

Kharn the betrayer is a pretty swell guy, Eldrad however is a dick. (Well the second part is true)

Master Chief is a flat chested woman.

JC Denton have a nano-aug to make coffee.
http://argajag.deviantart.com/art/request-for-vokuts-COFFEUS-EX-168037678?q=favby%3Avokuts%2F6720085&qo=51 <-- that's me as a Nano-aug angent btw.

Gordon Freeman never speaks because he's an actual mute.

Ivy Valentine is a guy.

Shas'la Kais is an excellent cardplayer, and frequenly playes poker with Captain Ardias.
(these two are from the WH40k FPS Fire Warrior, wich is rather bad. One lone fire warrior kills a Chaos Dreadnought in melee. Wich is absurd)
 

C-45

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Apr 2, 2010
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Raz is a delusional goggled freak who keeps running around slapping plastic doors on peoples heads then zoning out while they wonder if they should call the camp counselor or something.

Cortana's just a hallucination brought on by Master Chiefs repressed sexual urges.

The dot from pong is a completely egotistical douche bag.
 

bowserboy26578

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Oct 23, 2008
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AssassinJoe said:
Kratos: compensating for a small penis.
no, no- if it was small all the ladies wouldn't jump at the opportunity like they do. He's compensating for the fact that he only lasts 45 seconds.
 

fingerbang143

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Dec 21, 2010
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Ezio really is a bad guy it would explain his need to assassinate civilians when I am directly behind a guard
 

HeySeansOnline

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Apr 17, 2009
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Metalman is a loving father.
Bubbleman enjoys cooking omelettes.
Heatman never got to see Europe, but always wanted to.
Woodman despises Little Debby products.
Airman is a bowling champ at his local rink.
Crashman has an IQ of 234.
Flashman has a different belt for every day.
Quickman is horrible in be- ... oh, wait ...
 

duchaked

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Dec 25, 2008
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Hope from FFXIII is totally not a *****...

cough okay nvm ummm

ABLb0y said:
Zoey from left 4 dead is a virgin, James Sunderland from silent hill 2 is secretly gay and Eleanor Lamb smokes pot.
yeah can't beat that xD
 

tthor

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Apr 9, 2008
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No-Superman10 said:
The entire of Resident Evil is a drunken hallucination, the actual situation is a college dorm with the Redfield siblings, Leon Kennedy, Wesker and Sheva. (W and S are exchange students) All locked in a Marijuana-induced haze. (This explains all the healing items being various forms of hempHerbs.)
wait, but are the guns still real? lol
 

Drakmeire

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Jun 27, 2009
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Duke Nukem is just the fantasy made-up by a lonely 13 year old boy that he wrote down and turned-in in a creative writing class. he was then sent for psychiatric help and that's why Duke Nukem Forever is taking so long.
 

scorptatious

The Resident Team ICO Fanboy
May 14, 2009
7,405
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Grunt is a duck.

Also Gordon Freeman is actually dead, and everything he has ever witnessed in the Half-Life games is his own personal hell. Also Alyx is a figment of his imagination.
 

KILGAZOR

Magnificent Retard
Dec 27, 2010
180
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G-man is an evolved human as is Gordon Freeman which is why he's so good at shooting and surviving stuff because his brain is super powerful but it has trouble speaking like G-man's as a side effect. Okay maybe that wasn't totally baseless.

Chell sold herself to science because her family was poor and needed the money.

The Heavy loves his mother and is quite a gentleman when he is not blowing people to bits.