Make your job title sound better

[tavelkyosoba]

Parcel Conveyance Liaison

I work for UPS.

 

[esplode]

I used to work at Subway. I was a 'Sandwich Artist'. I think they already tried to make it sound better, so I'll leave it as their version.

 

[OpiateChicken]

1.Quantitative Cryogenic-Resource Import Specialist

i stock milk at a grocery store


2. Treasurer of Funding at a Generational Equipment Outlet

cashier at a baby supply store

 

[King Toasty]

Used to work in a deli, spearing chickens with spits.
"Animal Support Leader."

I gave them backbone. ;D

 

[Cheesus333]

Pending Deployment to Unknown Duties of Potentially Extreme Importance.

I'm unemployed >.>

I used to work at Subway. I was a 'Sandwich Artist'. I think they already tried to make it sound better, so I'll leave it as their version.

My friend is also a Sandwich Artist. It makes her feel better about the fact that she makes sandwiches for misogynists all day.

 

[Tallim]

I used to work at Subway. I was a 'Sandwich Artist'. I think they already tried to make it sound better, so I'll leave it as their version.

That's a real job title at Subway? That's kind of awesome, or sad, not sure which :/

 

[martyrdrebel27]

I am a master of the custodial arts. Or a Janitor if you wanna be a dick about it.

(both factual and referential. I win the internets.)

 

[Extasii]

Consumer Vehicle Replenishment Service Provider.

(I'm the cart guy at Target)

 

[someonehairy-ish]

I'm a student/gardener for a nice old bloke, and I have a band. And write short stories.

So... what I mean to say is, I'm a musician but I'm also involved in publishing and have a novel in the works, as well as being a possible Oxbridge candidate and in my spare time I help the elderly and fight crime as a vigilante hero.

Had to include the vigilante bit to make it seem more awesome and less dickish.

 

[Innegativeion]

I am... a...

GUARDIAN OF LIFE!

a.k.a. Lifeguard.

 

[DyslecticAnarchist]

I'm a custodial engineer specialized in repair of a gardeners accessories.

(I'm a janitor and I fix a lot of lawnmowers.)

 

[AWAR]

Anti-Socialite, dweller of the couch, connoisseur of inhalable flora and piscean-shaped crackers, but my main job is a public education's acolyte.
I also like cheese...

 

[Triscut900]

Intelectual guide of the wilderness...i work at a boy scout camp

 

[Alien Mole]

My official job description is 'Didactic Language Counselor,' I think. I teach kiddies English at language camps as a volunteer.

 

[Kenjitsuka]

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2007-07-20/

There is an even better one, where HR gives them all superdegrading titles, to ensure their CV will be too stained for any other company to ever hire them. The manager gets: "Director of learned helplessness".

Oops, there it is!
http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1997-07-24/

 

[Tallim]

I'm a student/gardener for a nice old bloke, and I have a band. And write short stories.

So... what I mean to say is, I'm a musician but I'm also involved in publishing and have a novel in the works, as well as being a possible Oxbridge candidate and in my spare time I help the elderly and fight crime as a vigilante hero.

Had to include the vigilante bit to make it seem more awesome and less dickish.

Renaissance Landscaper Of Justice? or something...... lot's to add.

 

[Rustysquash]

Senior Technical Engineer, or Chief Technical Officer.

I am the Senior Technician (official title) at an Amusement Park.

 

[Merkavar]

on umployment benefits. i say i work for the government when i want to jazzup my occupation

 

[bl4ckh4wk64]

Combination of future doctor and knowledge seeker and volunteer at the local animal shelter (you can't actually get a better sounding job that that, I mean it's awesome)

 

[RatRace123]

My job title: Doing Nothing
Making my job title sound better: Chuck Norris, Jetpack, Monkey riding a unicycle, Beef jerky, Firefly. [sub][sub][sub][sub][sub]doing nothing[/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub] Boobs, Fried chicken, Ten million dollars, Neil Patrick Harris, Tyrannosaurus shark, Half Life 2: Episode 3.