Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

I fall over.

"Yes, dude. I am afraid to talk about them. It's like...personal! Between one person and the uh...significant other."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I continue to playfully punch, i.e. really punch, Salt on the ground, "Oh, sly dog! You and Sis knocked boots, yet?!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Wh-WHAT!? NO!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Oh, I get it! You're taking it slow, make those panties come off naturally," I playfully curb-stomp Salt's head, "You romancer!"

 

[Saltarius]

"N-NO! WE'VE LITERALLY DONE NEXT TO NOTHING INTIMATE!"

I pant heavily before slightly calming down.

"Besides ah...considering my current state, as well as hers, shit ain't happening."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Aw, gee, I'm sorry, bro."

 

[Saltarius]

"You really thought that there was a chance, dude?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Without a doubt!" I place a kind hand on Salt's swollen and horribly mutilated shoulder, "You're a handsome dude, very humble to boot. The fact that your single is a mystery to me."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Dude? Have you uh...looked at me recently? Also, humble? A mystery?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Well, yeah. No matter what you look like, you still have a great personality."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Ha. Aha. Ahaaha! Hahahahah! HAHAHAHAH!"

"Holy shit dude, thanks for that laugh. Best medicine, indeed."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Always here for you." I throw Salt over my shoulder, "C'mon, we're putting you on the dating scene."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Waffles, we're in the dead of space, and the only other woman here is Sister, considering I stabbed Sam with extreme prejudice."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Salt, Salt, Salt." I shake my head knowingly, "It's like you don't trust me. I have a friend I'm going to set you up with."

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm doubting this situation so hard right now."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"I've already telepathically set up the date." I throw him in the back of the Humvee and drive off to an Italian restaurant. "Well, her we are!" I exclaim, kicking Salt out of the Humvee, "She's the girl with the rose on her dress. I'll come back in an hour, maybe two if your lucky." I whiz off into the distance.

 

[Saltarius]

"I'M BLIND YOU ASSHOLE! I CAN'T SEE ANYONE WITH A ROSE!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Yo." Says a lone voice from inside the restaurant. "I have a rose."

 

[Saltarius]

"Uh...hey. Sorry about the informal attire. And lack of arms."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

She chuckles, "Don't sweat it; I've seen worst." She is literally the only one in a restaurant at table way in the back. She gets up and leads Salt to his seat, "The name's Diamond. Yours?"