Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

I stab the tulpa in the chest with my claymore.

"Indeed."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Ouch." My tulpa disperses and reappears behind Salt, running her through with all three of my swords.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I do a sharp turn, and drive straight into Woon, closely followed by Paddy and Salt.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I open the roof hatch, pull down the ladder and climb up to Tox.
"Hey there. Just got to test the Dragon Fucker."
I push on a lever, and the crossbow slowly tilts down. I then grab a different lever, and pull it back, which brings the string back. I pick up one of the large spears, load it and squeeze the trigger-like mechanism on the first lever. The second lever, and the bowstring, shoot forward, and the Dragon Fucker is launched directly into Salt's back, after he is sent flying by the Mall Mobile.
"Great!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I throw a hatchet at Knife while we drive past.
"So...who wants drive through?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Maybe it's a vegetarian or extremely dislikes KFC."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"The dragon will still be there later." I assure Tox. "Unless it somehow leaves the Mall, in which case it'll just die in the vacuum of space."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Unless it's a space dragon."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I don't think it's a space dragon. And if it is, it's not our problem if it gets into space."

 

[Captain Anon]

as Zombie drives right at me i pull strange lever and


as i drive over 'em i stick my hand and do the middle finger "fuck you Zombie" i then put this on


and then i speed off to where the dragon is

 

[MinimanZombie]

I throw a tennis ball in front of Woons Car. It bounces off the ground, and into the undercarriage, where it somehow causes the car to blow up.
"Fucking Woon."

 

[Captain Anon]

OOC:NOPE

actually i catch it before it goes into the undercarriage and i throw it back

"Fucking Zombie" i then continuing speeding off

 

[Knife-28]

I catch the hatchet, pocket it for later, and go back to what I was doing, which is shooting my BB gun at Salt.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

Woon successfully catches the tennis ball which somehow found its way to his car, because fuck impossibility.
Unfortunately, this requires him to jump forward out of the moving car. This causes Woon to be hit by his own car, driven by himself, a feat not many can claim. He should be very proud. Once he wakes up.

 

[Captain Anon]

going with Tox's post i forget about the tennis ball and i continue speeding off

 

[MinimanZombie]

I laugh as Woon splatters against his own car.
"Amazing. Impressive even."

 

[Saltarius]

I respawn behind Knife.

"Dude. Dude. I've been dead for the past ten minutes."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I climb back into the RV, then sit down and turn on some crappy alien reality TV.
"We have malls containing literally everything you can conceive of, space travel, respawn matrices... and yet we still have shit like this on pretty much every goddamn channel. What the fuck."
I sigh, then start sharpening some of my swords.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

The aforementioned muscular black male pops Salt in the head with a holy cross, "Don't sell your soul, kid. Hell sucks."

 

[Saltarius]

"I've been there dude. Going to spend eternity there no matter what I do."