Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[MinimanZombie]

"Are you suuuurrrreeeee?" I ask, persistent to get the answer.

 

[Saltarius]

I sigh heavily.

"It's about Sister."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Oh really?" I rest my head on both of my hands.
"Come on spill it."

 

[Saltarius]

"Are you sure you're not going to tell anyone? That I can trust you?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Yes. I swear on my dream self, that I will not tell a single soul." I say, truthfully.

 

[Saltarius]

"I think I...[small]like her[/small]."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"...[small]So do I[/small]...I mean, well uh, it's great that you feel that way. I bet she likes you to...yeah...probably does." I grab a bottle of vodka.
"Uh...want any..." I say, before downing the bottle unintentionally.
"Shit...I'm gonna go...I don't know." I walk off, with 2 more bottles of vodka.

 

[Saltarius]

"Yeah. Sure."

I stare idly at the walls.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I finish the bottles before falling asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck, I can't do this to Salt. I'm sure he's had to endure worse than me.
Take the lady for yourself foolish mortal. Acquire the female. She is of value.
First off, no, secondly, stop calling me names weird voice, and thirdly-
DO NOT ORDER ME! I AM A GOD TO YOU!
You have anger problems, that's for sure. I'll just...*Sigh*...Fuck you, I'm helping Salt get with Sister.
You shall regret it.
Probably.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake up, and go see Salt.
"Alright dude, I'm gonna help you woo Sister."

 

[Saltarius]

"Scyeah no. Sorry man, I know you're trying to help but it's not going to work. At all. Ever. It's a stupid pipe dream."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Now you're being depressing as shit. I just told an evil voice in my head to fuck off to help you. Nevermind, look, if you don't take Sister, I might end up with her somehow, and we'll both feel bad. You'll be jealous and angry you never asked, while I'll feel guilty that I got her." I grab Salt by the arm and heave him up off the chair.
"Lets get you dressed up."

 

[Saltarius]

"Zombie, we are literally dressing me up to seduce a chainsaw wielding psycho half-ghost. You think we can take this a little slower?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"What you don't want it? How about conversation tactics, or date training or shit?"

 

[Saltarius]

"I reiterate. Can we slow the fuck down? She still hates me for one, and secondly I'm not sure how I can just...make the jump, y'know?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well apparently you and her are best friends through some interstellar time bullshit. While she calms down, you get ready. You surprise her!"

 

[Saltarius]

"That sounded a bit overly creepy, but I guess so. Thanks. You also might want to take a pill or something for that voice in your head."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Dude it's fine. I just took 3 bottles of straight vodka, it would've been nullified I'm sure. Anywa-" I fall flat on my face. Vomit leaks out my mouth. I get up, and continue.
"Anyway, anytime you need help just com-" Face to floor again.
"Blurgh...I'm gonna need a moment. And a mop."

 

[Saltarius]

I help Zombie to his feet and put his arm over my shoulder as I carry him to the bathroom. I set him beside a toilet and wait outside.

 

[MinimanZombie]

Eventually, I'm done, and flush the toilet. I look in the mirror. My face slowly melts.
"Oh my god!" I jump back, into a wall. I fall straight through, and find myself floating into darkness. I stop, and a giant eye opens in front of me. I scream in terror.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I blink, and see myself in the mirror, normally. What the fuck happened there?! I walk out.
"I'm gonna go lie down...My head hurts a bit." I go and lie in a bed somewhere.

 

[Saltarius]

"Huh. Better keep a close eye on him."