Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[WafflesandBacon]

I reach into my Humvee and chuck knives at Fthulu.

 

[RaNDM G]

Noticing that the whole connection thing doesn't work here, I fly straight into the beasts mouth, stabbing it's insides, hoping my poison works on Fluthlu, before quickly retreating out of it.

FLUTHLU is stabbed repeatedly. He is unaffected by the poison, but the steel blades cause massive internal bleeding.
DAMAGE: -8, BLEED -1, BURN -1

Fluthlu trys to close it's mouth before Zombie escapist.

---

I fire into the joints for Fluthlu's mouth, trying to give zombie more time.

Zombie is consumed by FLUTHLU. His body is crushed in the abomination's stomach and absorbed for health. DAMAGE: -6, HEALTH: +6

Zombie will respawn in two turns.

Connor shoots the monster, again doing moderate damage. DAMAGE: -4

I retrieve some Molotov cocktails from my pockets. "Oh yes." I light them all and fling them at Fluthlu's eye.

Glass shards cut and irritate FLUTHLU'S eye. DAMAGE: -3, BURN -2

[HEADING=1]ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MALL[/HEADING]

Waffles and Tox have slain a variety of monsters dwelling in the Mall's sub-basements. A monitor on a nearby wall powers on, and FLUTHLU'S ogling eye peers inside.

I reach into my Humvee and chuck knives at Fthulu.

[sub](Problem Sleuth - Andrew Hussie)[/sub]

DAMAGE: -2

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

FLUTHLU: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

 

[Knife-28]

>Knife: Hate this wierd time shit.
Done and done.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Fluthlu starts paying mind to my sniper fire, and then faces me with his large eye. Good think I already know what happens...

---

I finish loading my incendiary .50 BMG bullets into my rifle ahead of time, and fire a single bullet right into Fluthlu's retina.

---

Fluthlu attempts to fire it's laser eye at me but fails due to the large bullet logged inside it's eye burning it. Fluthlu gives off a very very VERY loud roar with both it's mouths.

 

[Saltarius]

"No time like the present to start making some more thermite rounds."

I hastily cobble together some thermite charges and begin to work them into some revolver rounds, finally crafting a set of ten bullets. I then make one of the most rash decisions of my life.

I cut off my left arm and attach the revolver in it's place.

 

[RaNDM G]

The operation appears to be a success. The grip has been replaced with a mechanical joint, allowing it to remain attached to Salt's shoulder. The seven inch barrel sticks out of his shoulder like... uh...

There is no way I can make this joke funny.

"Hey Salt, nice work on the surgery. Just one question. How do you shoot that thing?"

 

[Knife-28]

Future Knife appears in the past and starts chucking thermite grenades at Flthulu.

 

[RaNDM G]

Future Knife cannot appear in the past. Doing so would destroy the boundaries of paradox space, requiring a vast suspension of disbelief in all sentient and inanimate characters to safely use for interdimensional navigation. It is also illegal in the People's Republic of China, currently in control of 186 planetary systems in the region. Knife will have to be content with his 96 grenades, a giant mech, an unconscious woman, and the companionship of two other idiots to hold him over for the rest of the fight.

 

[MinimanZombie]

As the beast absorbs me, I use my suits fail safe, which only works in dire situations. Once it's initiated, I'm lit on fire. "Are you fucking kidding m-" Is all I manage before I'm completely obliterated.

 

[Saltarius]

"Dear god, where did I go wrong. Don't worry Xot, computer chip in my brain that allows me to fire at will. By the way, are we going to get some answers any time soon?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

In an increasingly dramatic fashion I run, leap up, grab onto Fluthlu's hide and climb around to his eye, which I stab with Peake, it's burners on full power.

 

[RaNDM G]

Salt dies from infection and blood loss.

"... Well there's your answer."

DUMBASS: +3

[HEADING=1]HOURS IN THE PAST![/HEADING]

I finish loading my incendiary .50 BMG bullets into my rifle ahead of time, and fire a single bullet right into Fluthlu's retina.

The beast is turned away from Connor. He only manages to send a round through its mouth. DAMAGE: -3

Fluthlu attempts to fire it's laser eye...

[HEADING=2]

[color]>Fluthlu: LV. 77 DISQUIETING LEER[/color]

[/HEADING]

[sub](Problem Sleuth - Andrew Hussie)[/sub]

Oh sweet Jesus, no.

FLUTHLU continues to burn. BURN: -2

As the beast absorbs me, I use my suits fail safe, which only works in dire situations. Once it's initiated, I'm lit on fire. "Are you fucking kidding m-" Is all I manage before I'm completely obliterated.

Inside the beast's stomach, FLUTHLU'S tendrils dig in and rip apart Zombie's burnt husk for more nutrients. HEALTH: +6

Zombie will respawn next turn.

In an increasingly dramatic fashion I run, leap up, grab onto Fluthlu's hide and climb around to his eye, which I stab with Peake, it's burners on full power.

Waffles and Tox are fighting FLUTHLU'S eye.

MOVE - CANCELLED

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

FLUTHLU: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

CULTURALLY DIVERSE MOB: IIIIIIIIII

 

[Paddy the Second]

I climb to the bullet wounds previously entered by my flames. I ram my hands inside and cast another fire spell.

((Captcha: like the dickens. Yes Captcha, just like that.))

 

[MinimanZombie]

The fire from what I presume is one of Paddy's spells. It causes more burns to my already damaged remains. "Can I die yet, you slimy fuck!" I yell at Fluthlu. Although it probably considers it another painful scream. I try to writhe about, so I manage to get some of get some of my weapons to cut the beast. From the inside of course.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Apparently both of me is going blind now as the GM can apparently disregard things I've written inside my post.

---

I leave my sniping position to find a new one inside a large tower of sorts.

 

[Saltarius]

"Right... Need to think this through next time."

I retrieve my suit and take my old body out of it. A strange thought hits me as I take the body out. I attach the cut off arm to the old body and begin my godless work.

After a rough hour of amatuer surgery, the body is reassmebled as I prepare to do what man has failed to do for millenia. Revive it.

I craft a new pair of electro gauntlets and draw as much power in as possible and try to bring the body back.

"LIVE DAMN YOU!"

 

[Paddy the Second]

*In the future, sat in my mall chair shooting heroin.* "Goddamnit Salt, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Science, my friend. Now give me a heroin needle, I need to give it a chemical as well as a physical jump."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Only because I want to see what happens, I won't hesitate to kill that thing."

 

[Saltarius]

"That thing, is my corpse and the body you were previously speaking with. Now then, let us commence."

I inject the needle into the still corpse and proceed to turn the gauntlets onto full power, shocking it immensely.

After a few minutes of silence after it ceases, the corpse's eyes begin to flutter as it proceeds to stand up.

"What the fuck is going on here? And where is my gun?"