Man breaks into the tiger enclosure at the zoo....Gets eaten.

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HappyCastor

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Feb 13, 2011
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If it was a suicide, he should get an award for originality.

If it was due to him being massively drunk, a pat on the mangled remnants of his back and a Darwin award.


For most reasons I can think of(at least, the ones that don't resemble a romantic comedy plot)... well, an entire PSA describing the difference between a captive animal and a domestic one should be released.
 

pandorum

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Mar 22, 2011
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King of Asgaard said:
Well, I guess you could say that the pussy...
*puts on sunglasses*
...ate him.

OT: What a way to go out. You know the man was badass. Though not as badass as Mickey Rourke.
Coca Cola FTW. (this is not to circumvent the moderator wrath)
 

ccggenius12

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Sep 30, 2010
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Hey Tony, I like the things you do.
Hey Tony, if I could I would be you.
You're the one and only tiger, with the one and only taste. (for human flesh)
You know how to rake a moron, and make it,
DIE!
(the parody kinda falls apart here... can't think of a funny stand-in for "Frosted Flakes")
In any case, silly person, everyone knows that cheetah's are the ones that you ride.
 

shrekfan246

Not actually a Japanese pop star
May 26, 2011
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idarkphoenixi said:
Doubt it was a suicide, just doesn't seem logical. "Hey I wanna kill myself. Gun won't do, don't want to hang myself. Oh hey, I know, I'll get brutally mauled to death by tigers."
Because people who are suicidal are known for their flawless logic...

OT: Maybe I'll need to re-think my plan of having a pet tiger one day.

I wonder what was going through his head? It'd be interesting to find out.
 

imnot

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Apr 23, 2010
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What a shame.
He was a clever man.
What a rotten way to die.

Seriously though, unless there was a really good reason, he proberly deserved it.
I feel sorry for the tigers if they get put down though.
 

Aris Khandr

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Oct 6, 2010
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Lumber Barber said:
Are you serious? The guy climbs over safety fences, into the tiger's den, and they blame the tigers?
Do they also put down horses when you sneak up behind them and get kicked?
They're not blaming the tigers. But surely you can understand how the danger rate skyrockets once tigers figure out that humans = food. The tigers would not be put down in retaliation, but for the safety of the vets and keepers who have to work with them.
 

Varis

lp0 on fire
Feb 24, 2012
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Jack the Potato said:
Suicide by tiger? Best. Suicide. Ever.

Just think how cool his tombstone could be! "Name Namington, mauled by tigers. Made them pay for it though." I mean, you gotta embellish it a little. Otherwise it'd just be "Dumb Fuckington, thought he could fight three tigers. Proven wrong."

But you know who woulda walked out of that cage with nice new tiger-stripe jacket? Vladimir Putin.
Sounded exactly like my last time in Nethack. Except you'd had to replace the tigers with bunnies... And it would be the latter epitaph... Damn clumsy knights who can't climb on their own horses..*grumble mumble*
 

Snippy the Shoe

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Jun 23, 2012
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The7Sins said:
Snippy the Shoe said:
If this was suicide i can think of much less painful (but admittedly less awesome) ways to go.

If it's not then this is a brilliant Darwin Award example. Like the woman who was on safari and decided to get out of the van and rearrange a lioness' cubs so that she could take a better picture of them...
Mind linking to that story about the woman on safari please? I tried finding it but Google was no help.
http://www.darwinawards.com/personal/personal2002-25.html

There you go! I tried finding it when i first made the post but with no success. Found it first time now though. I'm not sure if there's a news article for it.

http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1994-08.html
(Another of my favourites)
 

The Funslinger

Corporate Splooge
Sep 12, 2010
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Well. That seems like part of the deal, so I don't particularly care.

Hazy992 said:
What the hell did he think was going to happen? I bet it was suicide because nobody would rationally climb into a tiger enclosure. You'd have to be suicidal or drunk off your ass.

And if the tigers have to be put down then that really sucks :/
They'd better not. You'd have to be an ass not to get that you don't fuck with the tigers, and they don't fuck with you.
 

FolkLikePanda

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Apr 15, 2009
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C'mon! Give him a round of applause for trying, ladies and gentlemen!

To be fair, natural selection got to him. Feel sorry for the employees who saw that and hopefully the tigers won't be put down.
 

carina

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Jul 14, 2012
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It wasn't by accident. Don't be so disrespectful. He was a war refugee having seen his dad killed by a regime. THen he moved to denmark.
The nation he born in, has lions in the wild.
So I guess he figured "my pain began in the nation I born it will end with something from where I born". DOn't be so disrespectful, he commited suicide. It's a very tragic story!