Manliness VS Sentimental in Men?

[default]

I'm an artist. I'm sensitive, nearly silent, I love beautiful things, I write poetry and stories, I'm good with girls and feelings. I got some shit about that some time ago, living in Australia and being in the society I am.

I'm also over six foot with a chest like a pair of bricks (for a late teenager...), and I'm never afraid to stand up for someone or to protect them.

Masculinity IS important, it's important to be able to protect what you love, but emotional maturity is FAR more so, to KEEP what it is you love.

However, I'm not much of a relationship guy.

 

[MrMixelPixel]

Manly is not a term to describe me. Mostly because of my interests. But... I'm not emotional either. So I wouldn't really fit in to either category. Well Damn... ><. Is there a 3rd category for Emotionally Detached Metrosexuals? =D (FYI that's a hyperbole)

But my opinion on wanting Manly Emotional Men is: I think searching for a romantic partner that meets your standards is selfish or maybe even narcissistic. Now I suppose finding some or a combination of traits more attractive than others isn't bad. However, you should still give them a chance even if they aren't what you were looking for. Who knows, you might be pleasantly surprised. Or horrified you wont know until you try.

 

[Aesir23]

Personally, I think that you need a good mix of both. Sentimental is all nice and good, but so is "manliness". But as far as I'm concerned, you don't want too much of one or the other. Too sentimental can sometimes lead to very clingy (not pleasant unless you're into that) and too manly can translate to someone you can't talk to about certain subjects (Not sure since I haven't had any experience with that end of the spectrum).

And if I had to choose one?... Dunno.

And yes, it's incredibly hard to find someone with the right combo of both. At least, if the local male population is any indicator.

 

[Rarhnor]

Wouldn't know really, but I've seen MULTIPLE manly guys, ditch their responibility of protection of a woman. So, basically you aren't not wrong, you're just pitching from the wrong spot.

Sure, the less sentimental guys will wear the pants, but they won't say sorry, or help you out, when you get hit by that ball. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGkukDPO4yU]

 

[Nickolai77]

That's actually a bit surprising; rarely have I heard guys speak of interest in warrior women. It's actually kind of refreshing.

Personally I find "warrior-women" fascinating. If i was to make a list of top 10 favourite fictional characters, you would see Faith Conners (Mirrors Edge), Revy (Black Lagoon) and Seline (Underworld movies) in that list. In real life though, i think i would struggle to relate to such women, possibly because i am not a simple warrior man. But i find the idea of women women most interesting.

Why? I'm thinking about it but honestly i have no idea. Not a clue.

I've never really understood why women want to be "protected". I spent most of teenage years thinking that some some sort of myth spread by Disney. I thought the whole "knight in shining armour" legend was just a fairy tale.Now, I don't not like protecting women, but i don't get a kick out of the idea of protecting them either. Really, i think as Housebroken said, you just want a woman with a metaphorical gun who can watch your back as you watch hers. Are guy's meant to be turned on by protecting women??? Why do women like being protected? Is it an evolutionary thing?

I don't know, perhaps the above paragraph is somehow related to my interest in "warrior-women", but perhaps it isn't.

With regards to your original question, it seems a bit black and white to find men either: Too manly and not emotional enough, or too emotional and not manly enough.

I mean, i'm not sure which category i fit into. I used to write poetry[footnote] Suppose i still do, but nowadays most of my creative energy is spent writing fiction. And yes, you will find "warrior women" in my stories.[/footnote], and I am generally quite a reflective person who will be honest with my close friends about my flaws, failings and emotional problems, so I feel like I am emotionally mature.

On the other hand that doesn't mean i'm a coward either. When i went paint balling once i single-handily stormed an enemy firing position, effectively winning the game for my team. I've also had to protect my ex-girlfriend from her... "troubled" family a couple of times.

Basically, you could say i have one foot in each camp, and personally i think the same could said for many men. Just try to see that in them.

 

[kurupt87]

Snip

I can see that too. That's actually a bit surprising; rarely have I heard guys speak of interest in warrior women. It's actually kind of refreshing.

I think this might be because many guys tend to have rather limited imagination and often make their stands based on past experiences a little too much.

Thus if they hear of "warrior woman" ideals that I have a soft spot for, they might associate that with "manlyness" (simply because most warriors throughout history tend to be men and not women). And thus not find it all very "feminine" and attractive.

And that doesn't really mean that my turn ons are focused on some kind of butch, pseudo-lesbian army girl who keeps her hair cropped and smell of sweat and gasoline all the time.

I appreciate many of the classical visual feminine attributes as much as any red-blooded male heterosexual does (though I do think that I have decently tasteful standards, and I don't really slober over just seeing a pair of tits if the person "carrying" them doesn't inerest me that much).

It's more of a bunch of core ideals and personality traits that triggers it all for me. A kind of killer instinct if you will that tells me that if his woman would ever be mugged or subjected to a rape attempt she would scratch he eyes out of the attackers and probably even pull a gun from her purse and gun them down.

She would be the kind of woman who might go out late at night dressed in a rather provocative fashion, but not because she's like a lot of other women who simply assume that the world is a "safe place" and that you don't run any sort of risk of being assaulted when taking certain paths home at night, but because she knows that she could take down an attacker who tried to pull something like that on her if they forced her into a position that she can't just run away from.

And now you might think im one of those guys with emotional problems or something like that, but that's actually pretty far from the truth. I am in touch with my emotions, and what better is, I have the eloquent abilities to actually put into words what I feel in ways that a lot of people might have problems with doing. (although as you might have suspected, im no the best when it comes to feigning humility, but I figure that a true warrior woman could handle that wihout getting all offended by it)

Shit fella, see everything as a challenge much?

As for your humility, or lack thereof, we got that too. Your interest in the strongest women of the world as the only ones worthy of being your equal was put across quite well. You can't get away with ludicrous boasts just because you displace them to something other than yourself. Maybe the fact that you spend your time on an internet forum instead of dating said Amazonians exposes them as such?

You're a great counter to the seeming majority of Escapist posters who are insecure but shit, you can be too self-confident as well.

OT: My dream woman would be an equal but one who is physically cute and has a cheeky sense of humour and personality; weakness has no place in her. The trouble is most cute women know they're cute and have a seemingly submissive, passive-aggressive personality because of it; I hate that. The ones that don't have personalities like that are attracted to your emotional men, which is annoying. (Obviously this is only based on my own experiences and is in no way some sort of decleration about the mind set of women I find cute the world over; that would be silly.)

 

[Labyrinth]

... Squish a poor defenseless little spider?

Clearly, You don't live in Australia. Our spiders [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/18.118413.2267154] are about as defenceless as warrior women, and twice as deadly as the femme fatales, and this country breeds plenty of those too.

I'd just like to add something on the note of warrior women. I don't think it takes a domineering female to be able to defend herself. In fact, I think that all women should take the opportunity, if they have it, to learn some self defence. The same I'd say for many men as well, and many of those who decide against either definition. It's a matter of people who aren't strong having the ability to defend themselves.

 

[Demon_Cow]

All I know is, from my own experience... society needs to get its views on that subject straight someday, since where I live (Midwest US) being emotional will get your ass kicked.

 

[Nomanslander]

Okay, so I know that, within the last decade or two, being "sentimental" or "in touch with his emotions" has become very popular amongst the women today.

Really? I thought it was just some media bull created by feminazies to further pussify the the male populace so they could take over...=P

lol

In all seriousness though, I'm an X-gen, I grew up being taught by society that all women want is sensitive guys. Yet when ever I go to the bars or clubs or anywhere for that matter, it's always the biggest douche in the room that gets all the ladies.

So now I'm hitting the gym working on my abs and watching a lot of Steve McQueen movies to deprogram all the garbage I learned over the years.

No, I'm still being serious...0o

 

[the_bearpelt]

Wonderful. He's a funny and clever guy that Steve Hughes.

Speaking of other stand-up comedians who are funny, witty, clever and sort of ideologically in line with myself, I suggest going over to youtube and type in the name Bill Hicks if you're not familiar with the man already. He might be dead, but he still cracks me up from beyond the grave. XD

I will definitly check that out.

Well, you know what they say: "in the calmest of waters..."

Haven't you done anything "rough-and-tough" in your life that you actually enjoyed or gave you an empowering feeling? Like going to a shooting range and fire a really loud gun or playing a really brutal videogame like God of War 3 and letting the devil inside have some fun or something like that?

Not really. But then again, I've never really had that chance. I'm more of what you would call "bookish" and "intellectual" than a "badass."

Hehehe

Must... Repress... Urge... To... Crack... Darwin... Award... Joke!

*phew*

Pfffft

Thank you.

Although I feel constantly rusty when it comes to english but I guess that's normal. I tend not to worry too much though and try to stay happy with getting my point across regardless of a few spelling/grammar mishaps, keyboard fumbles and malfunctions.

In any case, we'll settle with tactful for now. Im sure you'll have the opportunity to find out something about me through what I say here that will offend or disgust you eventually.

My screen-name is pretty sincere after all.

Oh, no need to get all pessimistic. Be an OPTIMIST!

 

[MONSTERheart]

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn?t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he?s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You?re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What?s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it?s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I?m on a horse.

That seemed kind of relevant.

 

[the_bearpelt]

Personally I find "warrior-women" fascinating. If i was to make a list of top 10 favourite fictional characters, you would see Faith Conners (Mirrors Edge), Revy (Black Lagoon) and Seline (Underworld movies) in that list. In real life though, i think i would struggle to relate to such women, possibly because i am not a simple warrior man. But i find the idea of women women most interesting.

Why? I'm thinking about it but honestly i have no idea. Not a clue.

I've never really understood why women want to be "protected". I spent most of teenage years thinking that some some sort of myth spread by Disney. I thought the whole "knight in shining armour" legend was just a fairy tale.Now, I don't not like protecting women, but i don't get a kick out of the idea of protecting them either. Really, i think as Housebroken said, you just want a woman with a metaphorical gun who can watch your back as you watch hers. Are guy's meant to be turned on by protecting women??? Why do women like being protected? Is it an evolutionary thing?

I don't know, perhaps the above paragraph is somehow related to my interest in "warrior-women", but perhaps it isn't.

With regards to your original question, it seems a bit black and white to find men either: Too manly and not emotional enough, or too emotional and not manly enough.

I mean, i'm not sure which category i fit into. I used to write poetry[footnote] Suppose i still do, but nowadays most of my creative energy is spent writing fiction. And yes, you will find "warrior women" in my stories.[/footnote], and I am generally quite a reflective person who will be honest with my close friends about my flaws, failings and emotional problems, so I feel like I am emotionally mature.

On the other hand that doesn't mean i'm a coward either. When i went paint balling once i single-handily stormed an enemy firing position, effectively winning the game for my team. I've also had to protect my ex-girlfriend from her... "troubled" family a couple of times.

Basically, you could say i have one foot in each camp, and personally i think the same could said for many men. Just try to see that in them.

Really? Hmm. THe whole "attraction to warrior women" thing must be more common than I've thought.
... Maybe I just don't know enough guys in my city. *sigh* I dunno. Maybe it's the neighborhood or something? The only manly men I know are "gangstas" and I'm not even sure if I count that, and I sure as hell am not impressed by them or are attracted to them.
Either there aren't as man manly men where I live, or I'm not noticing them.
Maybe I should put out an ad. *laughs*

 

[the_bearpelt]

Okay, so I know that, within the last decade or two, being "sentimental" or "in touch with his emotions" has become very popular amongst the women today.

Really? I thought it was just some media bull created by feminazies to further pussify the the male populace so they could take over...=P

lol

In all seriousness though, I'm an X-gen, I grew up being taught by society that all women want is sensitive guys. Yet when ever I go to the bars or clubs or anywhere for that matter, it's always the biggest douche in the room that gets all the ladies.

So now I'm hitting the gym working on my abs and watching a lot of Steve McQueen movies to deprogram all the garbage I learned over the years.

No, I'm still being serious...0o

Haha. Well, from what I've heard about bars, you don't really go to bars to find a guy to date. (From a woman's perspective, I mean.) If you do go to a bar looking for a guy, it's more along the lines of a one-night-stand. THen again, this is all second-hand knowledge, but that might show why the douche gets the girls at bars?

 

[RandomWords]

I'm not positive on what I am, but I guess a guy should be more manly than emotional. I doubt girls even tell the truth about how they like really emotional guys. I guess around 85% manly, 15% sentimental. Too manly and you look gay and too emotional and you look...well gay.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Shit fella, see everything as a challenge much?

Nope, not really.

As for your humility, or lack thereof, we got that too. Your interest in the strongest women of the world as the only ones worthy of being your equal was put across quite well. You can't get away with ludicrous boasts just because you displace them to something other than yourself.

Uhm, what is this "get away wih" you're speaking of? Im just being honest. If you don't like the truth, then I say: BIG FUCKING DEAL. The truth tend to suck in general so there's nothing new under the sun with disliking it.

Maybe the fact that you spend your time on an internet forum instead of dating said Amazonians exposes them as such?

I don't spend too much time here. But I don't spend too much time "dating" either. I don't like dating, in fact I don't like trying to act all desperate to find a "lifepartner" as everyone else does in general. I have no need of "finding love", it's just something I consider to be nothing more but a pleasant spice to life (something I can live shamelessly happy without)

I guess that's my main problem in actually finding people to start a relationship with. The very reason that I just don't care enough to have a relationship in the first place, until I actually meet a person that comes across as being so special to me that I actually find myself WANTING to be in a relationship with her. (Catch 22, anyone?)

So if I am to meet someone, it usually happens by coincidence, since I never go anywhere with the premeditated notion of finding a woman. Also, friends, relatives and women in general do tend to criticize me for not "paying attention" when im out and about, because they seem to have their "romance radar" on all the time and pick up when a woman shows her interest in me and i'm just completely oblivious as usual.

Which also explains why I tend to be able to actually NOTICE these so called "amazonian women", since they actually have "the balls" (figuratively speaking) to approach me and talk to me, unlike the mincy, insecure and cowardly girls who think that it is a perfectly viable strategy to just sit around and "look pretty" and mentally hope that they can establish some kind of telepathic link with guys and thus get the guys to notice them.

But the bottom line is, I don't need someone to love. Heck I don't even need casual fucking either, so there's no real reason for me to go out hunting after a woman for either purpose. Thus if somebody likes me and believe that I might like them, then they will have to be the one to approach me and make an impression that I can respect and even become a little smitten by, because it damn sure won't happen the other way around.

You're a great counter to the seeming majority of Escapist posters who are insecure but shit, you can be too self-confident as well.

Well then, if that's true you'll realize that I have the self-confidence to simply disregard your criticism, because I don' have any intention to impress/come off as more likeable to you or anyone else for that matter.

I'll make sure to give you a shout and ask for pointers if that specific purpose does become relevant for me, though. But I wouldn't get my hopes up of that ever happening if I were you.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

The only manly men I know are "gangstas" and I'm not even sure if I count that, and I sure as hell am not impressed by them or are attracted to them.

Well i's not too strange that they wouldn't be too interested in warrior women. I mean the whole "gangsta"-culture basically bottles down to over-compensating for all the weaknesses you suffer from and are too afraid for the rest of the world to notice.

Thus any woman who isn't precieved as weaker than the "gangsta" will come off as a threat to his manhood, in his simple little mind.

There's a reason why all the "gangstas" often act so aggressive, and it's NOT because they are very superior at all, but because they hope that, by being aggressive, they will deter people from ever challenging their position (most of the time because they know that they would lose the challenge).

As the adage goes: "The strongest eagle doesn't need to flaunt it's claws."

"Gangsta culture" however is all about flaunting claws all the time. So what does that tell you of the "eagles" soaring in that kind of crowd? XD

 

[Jezzascmezza]

Like everything in life, I guess it's about striking the balance...

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Not really. But then again, I've never really had that chance. I'm more of what you would call "bookish" and "intellectual" than a "badass."

One does not have to exclude the other you know. Not that I'd label myself as "badass" because I find it hard for a person to just "be" badass (even though people can do badass things from time to time), but "bookish" and "intellectual" does certainly fit my profile.

I love using my brain, heck I spend more time in my head than I do anywhere else, and I like consuming things that provide food for thought (like reading books).

Though im not an "intellectual" in the sense that I take all this overhyped academic bullshit up the rear end and ask for seconds. Because intellectualism is NOT about academic elitism, and if you put on the "really critical thinking glasses" an intelligent person would be able to notice hat a lot of the activities, subjects and opinions flowing through the academic world mostly consist of pretentious, pseudo-scientific bullshit. But the young neophytes of the academic world both swallow and wallow in it with the hopes of getting better grades and even earn that "precious" recognition as one of the "academic elites"

Quite simply, I do not indulge in intellectual pursuits for social reasons. In fact, it's probably one of my mor anti-social qualities aside from the odd moments where I feel like discussing a particular subjec with others.

And here's the kicker: Despite my bookish, intellectual sides, im still an avid gun enthusiast. I like playing with explosives (sory, some things you just don't grow up from). I also like videogames with ridiculous amounts of violence and blood and fast paced game design.

And even though I don't like to physically hurt people for real and do what I can to avoid it (even going so far as fleeing from a situation where people provoking me certainly deserved to get a swift kick in the balls), I have found myself backed into corners where I couldn't escape so I had to fight, and I did win.

Do note that this is no intended as bragging (I don't think fighting is a subject to brag about,I actually consider it to be kind of embarassing, not only for myself but for the people I fought that we couldn't just find a more peaceful way to handle the situation). But it's meant to illustrate that you can be a bookish intellectual, and still indulge in more typical "badass" activities (sometimes becaue you like it and sometimes because you have to).

On a personal note though: I don't recommend picking fights with people. Fighting should only occur out of immediate necessity and not for "fun" or trying to make a stupid point due to equally stupid principles. As for the guns and explosives, do take certain safety precautions or you might just suffer a severe case of... Well, death. And ss for the violent videogames... Ah what the hell, just let it rip. It won't hurt anyone involved. That's why they are so neat.

Pfffft

Im sorry, I couldn't help myself. XD

Oh, no need to get all pessimistic. Be an OPTIMIST!

Im not. I've never found much reason to be neither pessimistic nor optimistic. I just do something in between most of the time...

 

[Haukur Isleifsson]

Well I think (as a person with outlying genitalia) that true manliness is all but forgotten. Replaced by either the strong but silent emotionally repressed type or the aggressively-macho and overly extroverted loudmouth. Both often coupled with stupid self-destructive behavior.
Today is seems it's often more about showing what you are not than showing what you really are.