Mass effect gets hi-res tex- wait...zomg Tali's face!

[maxmanrules]

snip

God, that always pissed me off, having her smash up 3 heavy mechs and then getting my arse repeatedly handed to me by the mech before Warden Kuril. That mech was harder than Kuril too.(I was playing on insane, the only way I beat the mech was a glitch.
She could fuck up a reaper on her own.

 

[VladG]

snip

I honestly don't know how to really explain it further besides that the idea that "not being in contact with pathogens suddenly means your immune system turns off" is just not how the immune system works.

I defer to your knowledge then.

 

[AD-Stu]

Also I think they had very weak immune systems in the first place due to the technologically advanced state of their homeworld.

According to the canon it's because pathogenic microbes were "comparatively rare" on their homeworld, Rannoch, and the few that did exist were somehow partially beneficial to the species.

Whether that makes any medical sense whatsoever is beyond my comprehension though

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

The one who has weathered a lifetime of harsh experiences and yet has come through it neither bitter nor jaded and can rip out a bulkhead with her mind plus also work a fucking assault rifle, that's the one I want.

What, no love for Jack?

Is it that she uses a shotgun rather than an assault rifle? I bet that's the problem here.

Jack is too much of a wounded bird. You see all those tattoos all over her body? They actually read Extremely High Maintenance in six different languages.

Okay, vaguely serious bit first: I do prefer the Jack romance subplot because it has far more potential for interesting drama. Now I know that in real life that's a pretty terrible way to choose potential love interests, but hey, it's all a video game so I can choose to seduce the biotic psychopath if I want to. Especially since I know that it's a Bioware game so as long as I keep picking the paragon choices it'll all turn out fine in the end anyway.

Having said that I do agree that Jack might be rather high-maintenance in the "You turn your back for five seconds and she's vandalised another moon" sense.

And also I do not trust Jack, she is clearly holding out on us.

First time you actually see her, the very first thing she does is obliterate an entire room full of heavy assault mechs and then that never happens, ever again.

I mean. I mean come on. Come on. How fucking long is the cooldown on her "Rape A Room Full Of Heavy Assault Mechs" skill? Because we have been spending months[ flying around the fucking galaxy here, that shit has got to be back up.

Well gee, I'm sorry that Jack won't put out with her insanely powerful biotic powers for you. Maybe if you completed her romance subplot.... And, y'know, cleaned out the fish tank once in a while. She's fed up with coming back to the ship to find the aquarium full of dead fish. You wander into the Citadel gift shops with your Cerberus grant money and you buy all the fishes and then immediately forget about them. They're not just for Christmas, you know! And no, before you say it we're not having little-Miss-PDA coming up to our cabin to do it for you!

...Sorry, I rather lost track of my train of thought there.

(also fuck shotguns.)

Shotguns are indeed underpowered, but good grief are they fun to use with a Vanguard.

(also no baldies ell oh ell)

What? Just because she looks like Natalie Portman in that bit from V For Vendetta where she gets her head shaved.

 

[daveman247]

"Those games are a couple of years old already, which means they're too hideous to look at without protective eye-gear OR this super high resolution texture pack."

Thats pretty over the top :/

As for tali, i liked her. She was funny with her awkward ways when speaking to shepard and getting carried away when talking about technology.

And in the second game *spoiler* when you find her, she is in charge of a sqaud being all leader like etc, but then goes to pieces when she speaks to shepard again. The attraction is blatent and amusing


.....And, you know - dem hips.

 

[Rangerboy87]

And don't give me 'yeah but she's also pretty tough', because no she isn't, she's a goddamned engineer, her skillset isn't even useful unless you're going against robots.

and in ME1 you fight a lot of geth (robots)...I for one find Tali to be one of my favorites and most useful.

My Big 3 are Tali, Garrus, and Wrex (with Legion getting an honorable mention). She has always been a great asset for me. Also, Tali as a character has always been interesting. She has got the best personality of all the girls. In fact, she's one of the few who has a personality at all.

Ashley should be a lesbian option imo (very tomboyish), but she's just a monotone bore.

Liara is a little better, but she's also kinda got a monotone.

Miranda actually has an interesting arc, but it's hard to grow fond of her.

And Jack...well...hell no...her appearance alone turns me off, let alone the attitude.

The real kicker is: the rest of the girls barely show any emotion at all (except Jack, but again, always angry isn't a real turn-on...besides the legit love story just seems out of character for her).

Tali, even in the first game, was always the most interesting and seemed to have a real personality. I grew fond of her and, while (begrudgingly) romancing Ashley, I wanted to romance Tali. So yea, I was happy to have the chance to do so this time around.

As I have mentioned before, I don't really care about seeing her. It's just gonna piss people off when she don't look the way they imagine. Just leave it that way. Does the mystery add to her intrigue? Sure, but her personality and (for me) her handiness make her one of my favorites.

 

[VladG]

Also I think they had very weak immune systems in the first place due to the technologically advanced state of their homeworld.

According to the canon it's because pathogenic microbes were "comparatively rare" on their homeworld, Rannoch, and the few that did exist were somehow partially beneficial to the species.

Whether that makes any medical sense whatsoever is beyond my comprehension though

Right. I gotta play the games through again . I actually liked reading all the glossary entries. Lost my savegames too in the great HDD fire of '11 and I really don't want to live in a universe where Ashley lived!

 

[psijac]

Tali has a nice butt

 

[xvbones]

[
Okay, vaguely serious bit first: I do prefer the Jack romance subplot because it has far more potential for interesting drama. Now I know that in real life that's a pretty terrible way to choose potential love interests, but hey, it's all a video game so I can choose to seduce the biotic psychopath if I want to. Especially since I know that it's a Bioware game so as long as I keep picking the paragon choices it'll all turn out fine in the end anyway.

Having said that I do agree that Jack might be rather high-maintenance in the "You turn your back for five seconds and she's vandalised another moon" sense.

Also in the very literal "she is such atrociously damaged goods that dating her would be a full-time job with infinite unpaid overtime" sense.

Yes, I do agree, romancing her (we'll call it 'romance' for the sake of argument) is the most intricate and involved and in fact is closest to an actual relationship of any 'relationship' in the game, but still, she is damaged like a broken fucking egg.

There are some women you must not attempt to fix, lest they one day snap and detonate your head.

Well gee, I'm sorry that Jack won't put out with her insanely powerful biotic powers for you. Maybe if you completed her romance subplot.... And, y'know, cleaned out the fish tank once in a while. She's fed up with coming back to the ship to find the aquarium full of dead fish. You wander into the Citadel gift shops with your Cerberus grant money and you buy all the fishes and then immediately forget about them. They're not just for Christmas, you know! And no, before you say it we're not having little-Miss-PDA coming up to our cabin to do it for you!

...Sorry, I rather lost track of my train of thought there.

Speaking of, when you really boil it down, of all the women on that ship, it is Kelly.

Kelly is sweet, kind, giving, caring, sees the good in every person, is willing to feed your goddamned fish while you are out saving the world and will give you naked dancing sexytimes should you ever get your heart broken.

KELLY FOREVER.

FOR

EV

VER.

Shotguns are indeed underpowered, but good grief are they fun to use with a Vanguard.

Which, sadly, Jack is not.

Grunt is the only shotgun user I'll even take with me, and that's just because he can also use assault rifles.

SMGs are fine, I can deal with heavy pistols if it's on an NPC who won't run out of ammo, fuck every shotgun ever. So very sick of watching my idiots try to close to range and then get cut to pieces by EVERY BULLET IN THE WORLD.

Samara and Grunt are my go-to team almost by default, because assault rifles.

What? Just because she looks like Natalie Portman in that bit from V For Vendetta where she gets her head shaved.

NO BALDIES

ELL OH ELL

 

[ImmortalDrifter]

Actually, considering what Turian females look like, I think Male Shep is probably pretty close to what a female Turian physiology. The problem in ME2 is that Male Shep never actually hits on Garrus. When FemShep hits on Garrus, Garrus is like "Wait, what? Um, okay." They make it pretty clear that Garrus is attracted to FemShep for her personality, not her body. The same would apply to Male Shep.

Or, to put it another way, if a Dolphin hits on you, it's weird. Does it really matter if the Dolphin is male or female?

Using a dolphin is a bad example. Since dolphins are mammals, the gender of the dolphin would matter. Go lizard or seahorse next time.

And to a certain extent I agree with you; but the aliens in Mass Effect are VERY VERY close to human. They are bipedal, females have breasts and assumably vaginas, and due to garrus's/mordin's comments you would have to assume Garrus has a phallus (and semen) of some sort. They conform to human sexual traits. (with the obvious exception of the hanar and elcor) This would make a Homosexual relationship with a turian/quarian very much homosexual.

I can see both sides of the arguement, and I wouldn't care much either way. But I hope they don't do an Anders (who was very much hetero in awakening) and have Garrus go "oh I've been gay this whole time and just never mentioned anything about it before!". That would piss me off. :\

 

[xvbones]

And don't give me 'yeah but she's also pretty tough', because no she isn't, she's a goddamned engineer, her skillset isn't even useful unless you're going against robots.

and in ME1 you fight a lot of geth (robots)...I for one find Tali to be one of my favorites and most useful.

In ME1, yeah.

In ME2, robot rumbles are actually pretty few and far between. Granted, one DLC is almost entirely Geth, but that's DLC.

Ashley should be a lesbian option imo (very tomboyish), but she's just a monotone bore.

I commanded her to sacrifice herself and then lolled about it because fuck Ashley.

Miranda actually has an interesting arc, but it's hard to grow fond of her.

Ms. Teidrich, if you would?

Spoiler: CLICKETY.

As I have mentioned before, I don't really care about seeing her. It's just gonna piss people off when she don't look the way they imagine. Just leave it that way. Does the mystery add to her intrigue? Sure, but her personality and (for me) her handiness make her one of my favorites.

I bet Tali has Predator mouth.

Like six toothed flanges and a lot of webbing.

In ME3, she'll take off her mask and then she'll eat a baby. She won't even chew it. She will just suck down that entire baby.

And then I will laugh.

 

[Popeman]

But, everyone knows Garrus is where it's at. He'd better be a homo romance option in ME3, or I'm going to stab cute kittens with rusty spoons.

Maybe it was just me but whenever I used Garrus he would just stand up and die. It got to the point where I never bothered to revive him.

 

[Loop Stricken]

So... yeah.

Having sex with Tali won't kill her. proof? You can romance her in-game and shock horror, she lives!
Quarian immune systems are stated as being unusual, specifically in that whereas normal immune systems fight off infections, quarians don't - they adapt to it instead. There was a reason for this, something to do with their planet never developing insect life or something?
But, because of all the time they spend in their suits and in sterile environments, whenever they DO encounter something, their immune system goes into overdrive to do whatever-it-is they do.

Balls to it, it's almost 6am, I'll find a link tomorrow.

 

[Sarge034]

I never got how the Quarians ended up with no immune system in the first place...

I mean, okay sure, they live in suits, that would do it. But why do they live in suits? Because they have no immune systems... Because they live in ships? How the how does that work, how would the mass exodus of a population in overcrowded ships result in a sterile environment? If anything it should be the opposite...

Since no one can be bothered to do a Google search, Tali explains it in ME1. The viruses on their home world were symbiotic (helpful to the host) not parasitic (harmful to the host) so their immune systems became weaker to take advantage of the helpful viruses. Then they were kicked off of their planets and stuck in uber-sterile ships. Their immune systems just kept getting weaker.

Spoiler: Or if you don't want to take my word for it.....

Straight from the wiki.

"The most distinguishing feature of quarian biology is their weak immune system, compounded by centuries of living in sterile environments. As a result, all quarians by necessity dress in highly sophisticated enviro-suits, to protect them from disease or infection if they are injured. Their suits can be compartmentalized in the event of a tear or similar breach to prevent the spread of contaminants (similar to a ship sealing off bulkheads in the event of a hull breach).

Quarian immune systems have always been relatively weak, as pathogenic microbes were comparatively rare in their homeworld's biosphere. Furthermore, what few viruses and other microbes were native to their homeworld were often at least partly beneficial to them. After living aboard the Migrant Fleet for generations, the quarians' immune systems have atrophied further still due to the years in the sterile environment of the Migrant Fleet. As such, quarians are given various vaccinations and immunizations to help ward off disease. However, they prefer the safety of their suits even in clean enviroments and are reluctant to remove them without a good reason."

http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Quarian

OT- My party is and forever will be Garrus and Tali. Tali will always be my romance. I was abstinent in ME1 so there would be no lovers' conflict in ME3. As to why I like her, well there are a lot of reasons. She is passionate about what she believes in, kind, a little awkward, and it helps that she has good form.

Also I will say two things about Miranda and you will never be able to look at her the same way again.

Spoiler: First thing.

She has chicklet front teeth.

Spoiler: Second thing.

Her forehead is waaaaaaaaay out of proportion. I think Cerberus engineered her to serve as an aircraft carrier in times of need. I'm serious, I think I could land a plane on it.

This is the best pic I could find. It is the official box art, so that's something. In the game if the camera is pointed directly art her it is ok, but as soon as the camera looks up at her I start looking for inbound aircraft.

 

[MercurySteam]

I bet Tali has Predator mouth. Like six toothed flanges and a lot of webbing.

I'm betting that she's like Mileena:

I do not want to fuck my little sister.

Well, you may not want to... but the internet? The internet would.

I must destroy the internet.

Someone already tried that.

It would be interesting to see how they eat though...

Probably the same way that Subject Delta is able to scoff down food and drink without taking off his helmet.

Magic?

It's magic right?

I fucking knew it.

Sci-fi my arse.

This is turning out the be the funniest thread I've ever seen.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

[
Okay, vaguely serious bit first: I do prefer the Jack romance subplot because it has far more potential for interesting drama. Now I know that in real life that's a pretty terrible way to choose potential love interests, but hey, it's all a video game so I can choose to seduce the biotic psychopath if I want to. Especially since I know that it's a Bioware game so as long as I keep picking the paragon choices it'll all turn out fine in the end anyway.

Having said that I do agree that Jack might be rather high-maintenance in the "You turn your back for five seconds and she's vandalised another moon" sense.

Also in the very literal "she is such atrociously damaged goods that dating her would be a full-time job with infinite unpaid overtime" sense.

Yes, I do agree, romancing her (we'll call it 'romance' for the sake of argument) is the most intricate and involved and in fact is closest to an actual relationship of any 'relationship' in the game, but still, she is damaged like a broken fucking egg.

There are some women you must not attempt to fix, lest they one day snap and detonate your head.

Pfft. I know this will make me sound astronomically douchey, but my Shepard likes a challenge.

Okay, maybe not. But let's just call it a warm-up run to tackling the Reapers, or possibly vice-versa, who knows.

Shotguns are indeed underpowered, but good grief are they fun to use with a Vanguard.

Which, sadly, Jack is not.

Grunt is the only shotgun user I'll even take with me, and that's just because he can also use assault rifles.

SMGs are fine, I can deal with heavy pistols if it's on an NPC who won't run out of ammo, fuck every shotgun ever. So very sick of watching my idiots try to close to range and then get cut to pieces by EVERY BULLET IN THE WORLD.

Samara and Grunt are my go-to team almost by default, because assault rifles.

*Gets the free DLC shotgun which is surprisingly effective at longer ranges*

Problem?

What? Just because she looks like Natalie Portman in that bit from V For Vendetta where she gets her head shaved.

NO BALDIES

ELL OH ELL

Asari (such as Samara) are completely hairless.

NO BALDIES

ELL OH ELL

 

[beniki]

I never got how the Quarians ended up with no immune system in the first place...

I mean, okay sure, they live in suits, that would do it. But why do they live in suits? Because they have no immune systems... Because they live in ships? How the how does that work, how would the mass exodus of a population in overcrowded ships result in a sterile environment? If anything it should be the opposite...

The ships themselves are hyper-sterilized. Since you get no outside contaminants it stays that way. And the immune system atrophies like any muscle if it gets no work. Hell, people on earth actually do end up with severely compromised immune systems from living in overly sterile environments, and we're not talking 100% sterile like a spaceship.

Also as far as I know, they don't actually live in suits. Those are just for the outside world and interacting with... well, anything from the outside.

No, they wear their suits all the time.

I imagine the only time they take off their suits is for reproduction and the occasional shower.

It would be interesting to see how they eat though...

Well, if I remember correctly from the rather awkward conversations about woo hoo with Tali, Quarians have their own room which is sealed of from everywhere else on the ship... and I think they share that with family members. I can't quite remember though.

Actually, I'd imagine that Quarrian courtship basically revolves around gaining immunity to your partner, so you can share that space. Just imagine it... nice candlelit dinner... music playing softly... watching the stars drift past the window... sticking each other with the vaccination needle...

 

[Pat8u]

Yeah, I don't really get the fascination either. I did the bare minimum amount of interaction with her, and aside from her personal mission, I never used her in my party. I just simply don't like her character and don't find her skills particularly useful either.

But, everyone knows Garrus is where it's at. He'd better be a homo romance option in ME3, or I'm going to stab cute kittens with rusty spoons.

Looking at DA2, though, I'm guessing everyone is going to be up for everything.

whys everyone saying talis skills sucked her robot is the best dam ability in the game imo

 

[Kahldris71]

want to know what Tali looks like under that cowl? well look no further i have the answer!!!

also i really hope that picture link works, first time trying to post a picture.

Edit: It took five edits to make it work but it works!