Mass Effect Mercenary Game (NOT A REAL GAME)

[verdant monkai]

A lot of people have been saying that they would like to play a Mass Effect game where you play as a scummy gangster on Omega, rather than the universal saviour/decorated hero Shepard. Loads of people have said this I think even Yhatzee said something about it in his ME3 review. From what I have read on the Bioware Twitter they are deciding whether to make a prequel or not. I hope they dont because if you know the Mass Effect lore, you know nothing really happens between when humans work out mass relay travel, up till when Shepard gets going (NO making a game about Grissom in the first contact war would not be good, because all your characters would be boring humans).

Anyway I hope they either make a decent sequel or failing that a Mercenary game. Where you can play as all the races, with fully voiced player characters and a good helping of other characters as well. Something like the DAO Origin quests would be a good way to start it off, like for example if you were a Krogan you could either be from Tuchunka or a bloodpack mercenary, Humans would be like Shepard Earthborn/colonist/Spacer, Quarians would be on Pilgrimage from the flotilla or a vagrant.

I would like to play as an Asari Ardat Yhakshi who is sort of a tragic hero because she is actually a really nice lady/guy/blue person but since she kills people through sex, she can never find intimate love. I'd like a mission where I have to seduce and kill a corrupt Volus without anyone knowing how he dies, then get him all horny and kill him via sex. Although most of you probably think I am misogynistic now, I guess there could be a mission for male characters to seduce a female Elcor or something?

My Question is if Bioware did make this game what would you play as? I would have made a poll but I know everyone would just pick Volus/Elcor/Hanar and post "I would be a Volus/Elcor/Hanar Badass LOL". Although realistically that would probably be my first choice too.

 

[Tom_green_day]

Archangel II of course!
I like this idea! If they continue the Mass Effect franchise... I mean when... I think they need to do a much smaller plot. End of the world stuff is a big thing to come back from, it would be wise of them not to aim even higher for now and set their sights smaller.
One idea I had is that they could bring up that thing about dark matter destroying the universe that was mentioned in ME2 in Tali's missions, you know... the one that was going to be the original ending to ME3? Well that, if the plot revolved around something like that I would like it. But smaller, maybe you were a spy or something. I don't know. I think everyone agreed it should be a sequel too.

 

[Redingold]

How on Omega would you kill a volus with sex? They wear those suits all the time, and they die if they remove them, unless they're in an atmosphere that would require you to wear such a suit. You aren't going to be making skin contact with a volus.

 

[verdant monkai]

Archangel II of course!
I like this idea! If they continue the Mass Effect franchise... I mean when... I think they need to do a much smaller plot. End of the world stuff is a big thing to come back from, it would be wise of them not to aim even higher for now and set their sights smaller.
One idea I had is that they could bring up that thing about dark matter destroying the universe that was mentioned in ME2 in Tali's missions, you know... the one that was going to be the original ending to ME3? Well that, if the plot revolved around something like that I would like it. But smaller, maybe you were a spy or something. I don't know. I think everyone agreed it should be a sequel too.

I love this idea, it just seems like it would be a more sensible choice than to make a half arsed prequel. Shepard has saved the universe we now care about, now let us play around in it and see what it has to offer!
I try not to talk about the end any more...... my Shepard lived because I picked the Red ending, so I just leave it at that. Apparently they were going to use the Dark matter ending, but some sack of shit leaked it onto the web, so we got the horrendous mess that was the 3 choice end X(

How on Omega would you kill a volus with sex? They wear those suits all the time, and they die if they remove them, unless they're in an atmosphere that would require you to wear such a suit. You aren't going to be making skin contact with a volus.

Use your imagination. We'll go into a sterile room, or we will link nervous systems like that one Volus on Ilium was talking about. Failing that I will undo his suit and rape him.... satisfied? because I know he would be.

 

[Redingold]

How on Omega would you kill a volus with sex? They wear those suits all the time, and they die if they remove them, unless they're in an atmosphere that would require you to wear such a suit. You aren't going to be making skin contact with a volus.

Use your imagination. We'll go into a sterile room, or we will link nervous systems like that one Volus on Ilium was talking about. Failing that I will undo his suit and rape him.... satisfied? because I know he would be.

A sterile room won't help, it's not bacteria that are the problem. It's pressure and atmospheric makeup. Volus breathe toxic gas at massive pressure. If a volus took his suit off in standard atmospheric pressure, his skin would split open. If you were to go somewhere a volus could breathe, you would quickly be killed by either the toxic atmosphere or the enormous pressure. Raping a volus would definitely kill him, but not due to the rape, his body would quite literally burst. And how do you expect to link nervous systems through a thick pressure suit?

 

[Terminate421]

I'd play as a Geth. I'd fight to prove that the Geth aren't bad.

Either that or a Turian.

Playing as a Geth would have it's perks, for example, I could look awesome and go into places that require lack of oxygen. Also I'd get a kickass voice. Also I could technically "sex" an Asari, I just wouldn't feel it much.

 

[verdant monkai]

A sterile room won't help, it's not bacteria that are the problem. It's pressure and atmospheric makeup. Volus breathe toxic gas at massive pressure. If a volus took his suit off in standard atmospheric pressure, his skin would split open. If you were to go somewhere a volus could breathe, you would quickly be killed by either the toxic atmosphere or the enormous pressure. Raping a volus would definitely kill him, but not due to the rape, his body would quite literally burst. And how do you expect to link nervous systems through a thick pressure suit?

You can't find conversations like these in real life it's why come here.

If he likes high pressure we will have sex DEEP in a giant bath, I will have a snorkel and he will have a toxic gas air tank. As for the nervous system link..... I will invent something to let me do that.
ok?

 

[Professor Lupin Madblood]

Omega would be interesting, but it'd be difficult to set workably on Omega, what with Aria having run the place for the last several centuries. You wouldn't be able to become the ultimate power, and as much as I enjoy Aria, being her hitman probably wouldn't be the best thing for a game.

Would love to see a Quarian mobster, though. Shit would be so cash.

Honestly, I was thinking that it'd work pretty well if you were a C-Sec officer on the Citadel, perhaps during the events of ME2 to justify not having the entire thing be Turians. Instead of the paragade system being a saint/sinner dichotomy, it could be more focused and reflect more of an optimistic by-the-book lawman/cynical punchcard Dirty Harry cop. Hell, maybe you could even be Captain Bailey, and the events of the game could be this tragic arc that led to him transforming from a naive rookie into an utterly realistic officer.

 

[Orcus The Ultimate]

How on Omega would you kill a volus with sex? They wear those suits all the time, and they die if they remove them, unless they're in an atmosphere that would require you to wear such a suit. You aren't going to be making skin contact with a volus.

Volus on Volus magmargasm perhaps?

 

[Redingold]

A sterile room won't help, it's not bacteria that are the problem. It's pressure and atmospheric makeup. Volus breathe toxic gas at massive pressure. If a volus took his suit off in standard atmospheric pressure, his skin would split open. If you were to go somewhere a volus could breathe, you would quickly be killed by either the toxic atmosphere or the enormous pressure. Raping a volus would definitely kill him, but not due to the rape, his body would quite literally burst. And how do you expect to link nervous systems through a thick pressure suit?

You can't find conversations like these in real life it's why come here.

If he likes high pressure we will have sex DEEP in a giant bath, I will have a snorkel and he will have a toxic gas air tank. As for the nervous system link..... I will invent something to let me do that.
ok?

Perhaps you don't know what sort of pressures we're dealing with here.

Irune's atmosphere is 60.56 earth atmospheres. That's the same pressure as being 626 metres underwater. Now, the safety limit for recreational diving is 40 metres, and there's a good reason for this. There are a variety of absolutely horrible ailments associated with being at the wrong pressure. The oxygen in your blood becomes toxic, the nitrogen causes you to become hysterical, your lungs will be massively compressed and it can affect your entire nervous system. Honestly, even talking about these makes me uncomfortable. Look up stuff like barotrauma, or high pressure nervous syndrome.

Actually, looking at a phase diagram for ammonia, it should really be a liquid at the pressures and temperatures on Irune. Guess Bioware didn't do enough fact-checking. Mild shame on them.

 

[verdant monkai]

Perhaps you don't know what sort of pressures we're dealing with here.

Irune's atmosphere is 60.56 earth atmospheres. That's the same pressure as being 626 metres underwater. Now, the safety limit for recreational diving is 40 metres, and there's a good reason for this. There are a variety of absolutely horrible ailments associated with being at the wrong pressure. The oxygen in your blood becomes toxic, the nitrogen causes you to become hysterical, your lungs will be massively compressed and it can affect your entire nervous system. Honestly, even talking about these makes me uncomfortable. Look up stuff like barotrauma, or high pressure nervous syndrome.

Actually, looking at a phase diagram for ammonia, it should really be a liquid at the pressures and temperatures on Irune. Guess Bioware didn't do enough fact-checking. Mild shame on them.

Yeah but I'm an Asari not a human, and Asari have squid heads so are probably more better at water than humans, and I'm only gonna be there for say a minute? that should give me enough time to shag him and then swim back up. As for the size of the bath, we will probably have to rent the area outside afterlife just to fit it in, but its on his tab so it's all good.

Are we on the same page now?

 

[Redingold]

Perhaps you don't know what sort of pressures we're dealing with here.

Irune's atmosphere is 60.56 earth atmospheres. That's the same pressure as being 626 metres underwater. Now, the safety limit for recreational diving is 40 metres, and there's a good reason for this. There are a variety of absolutely horrible ailments associated with being at the wrong pressure. The oxygen in your blood becomes toxic, the nitrogen causes you to become hysterical, your lungs will be massively compressed and it can affect your entire nervous system. Honestly, even talking about these makes me uncomfortable. Look up stuff like barotrauma, or high pressure nervous syndrome.

Actually, looking at a phase diagram for ammonia, it should really be a liquid at the pressures and temperatures on Irune. Guess Bioware didn't do enough fact-checking. Mild shame on them.

Yeah but I'm an Asari not a human, and Asari have squid heads so are probably more better at water than humans, and I'm only gonna be there for say a minute? that should give me enough time to shag him and then swim back up. As for the size of the bath, we will probably have to rent the area outside afterlife just to fit it in, but its on his tab so it's all good.

Are we on the same page now?

"are probably more better" is not exactly the most well-thought out argument, but I need to go to bed, so whatever.

On the time, you have to ascend slowly when rising from deep water, or you run the risk of things like the bends. You have to ascend at about 10 metres per minute to avoid getting the bends, which means that you would have to spend a whole hour swimming back up from the bottom of the pool, at which point you would be dead from oxygen toxicity.

I'm rather staggered by the depths you'll go to (literally) to rape a volus.

 

[Doom972]

I'm sure that many interesting events could've happened before and during the trilogy. The galaxy is big and it's not really difficult to make up new stories that would fit.

Now that we're familiar with the universe, I hope that I'll be able to pick my species and play through a story that doesn't have to involve the whole galaxy, and without clear good and evil.

Yes, I basically want Dragon Age Origins in Space. Can I have that?

 

[Professor Lupin Madblood]

Yes, I basically want Dragon Age Origins in Space. Can I have that?

Dragon Age: Origins in space with ME3 combat.

All of my money, Bioware. Every red cent.

 

[verdant monkai]

"are probably more better" is not exactly the most well-thought out argument, but I need to go to bed, so whatever.

On the time, you have to ascend slowly when rising from deep water, or you run the risk of things like the bends. You have to ascend at about 10 metres per minute to avoid getting the bends, which means that you would have to spend a whole hour swimming back up from the bottom of the pool, at which point you would be dead from oxygen toxicity.

I'm rather staggered by the depths you'll go to (literally) to rape a volus.

I didn't know this was an argument I was just being silly. I would have thought that at least the picture or my short brainless responses would have conveyed that.

You have sort of over thought/researched this, I mean come on it's two made up aliens having sex.

 

[Plasmadamage]

Mass Effect:Archangel

Play as Garus, abandoning C-sec and forming his own vigilante crew on Omega.

So much awesome

 

[Redingold]

"are probably more better" is not exactly the most well-thought out argument, but I need to go to bed, so whatever.

On the time, you have to ascend slowly when rising from deep water, or you run the risk of things like the bends. You have to ascend at about 10 metres per minute to avoid getting the bends, which means that you would have to spend a whole hour swimming back up from the bottom of the pool, at which point you would be dead from oxygen toxicity.

I'm rather staggered by the depths you'll go to (literally) to rape a volus.

I didn't know this was an argument I was just being silly. I would have thought that at least the picture or my short brainless responses would have conveyed that.

You have sort of over thought/researched this, I mean come on it's two made up aliens having sex.

Mass Effect is in a genre where overthinking and research are appropriate. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be so much effort put into ultimately inconsequential details like heat dissipation on starships, communications methodology, what it looks like inside an FTL mass effect field and all the other stuff from the codex. Besides, overthinking and research is fun. It's why the Mass Effect universe is one of my favourite fictional universes, and why I'm annoyed by unexplained things like thermal clips that don't obey the laws of thermodynamics, shields that stop biotics when they should only respond to fast moving objects, and spacesuits that don't cover the skin and thus offer no protection from space.

 

[Darren Carrigan]

Archangel 2.0 would be me most likely...
But after reading the ME books I've became a lot more partial to the Quarians, so much so that they take silver place for my 'favorite race' behind the turians and above the salarians.

 

[Joseph Harrison]

I want to play a Mass Effect game where you play a Justicar on Omega and you just go on a fucking rampage.