Verahl:
Verahl waited for John to come to the office, he had ordered the recruit to change into something appropriate before returning to him. As he waited, he stared through his window onto the club below. It had been a long time since he had seen a group of recruits that were so dysfunctional. It reminded him of the scum that Aria would have dragged to him. Punks, goons, hoodlums, he had only one task to do when they were brought to them.
Break. Them.
He rubbed his brow, feeling the headache he had from earlier slowly turning into a migraine. He walked across the room to wet bar he had set up opposite the window. He rummaged through one of the top drawers. He thumbed past a couple of his medications, until pulling out a small bottle for painkillers he had set behind them. He opened the bottle, and took one of the small, rough white pills out. He rolled it around in his fingers a few times, as he turned the sink on beside him, and poured a glass of water. He popped the pill in, immediately followed by a gulp of the water. He finished the glass and placed it back on the counter.
While it might have helped the migraine, it wouldn't help what truly ailed him. His mind was already lost in a sea of unwanted memories. He remembered the vessel that he and the other pirates used to board human colonists onto to be sold as slaves. Hardly any of their faces ever stuck in his mind. He didn't know if that made him feel better or worse. He couldn't even look back to see all those people he had condemned.
He felt his throat start to close slightly. It was getting harder for him to breath. He could feel his conscience striking back at him, reminding him of all those years of torture, theft, and murder.
You should have known better!
His mind screamed at him.
What was your excuse?! You were young?! Stupid?! Just another fool, raised on hatred and paranoia, fueled only to hurt those that caused this to you?!
Verahl leaned back onto the wet bar. He ran his hand hard against the top of his head, as if trying to massage it as he worked it further along. He could feel old wounds that had never fully healed as he did this. The thin slices of grenade fragments against the side of his head. The slight indent near the top from a piece of ruptured pipe that had smashed into him. All of these were a part of his imperfection. All parts of his former life that had nearly destroyed him. A part of the life he wished he could have forgotten.
As his hand reached the base of his neck, he gave the back of it a tight squeeze. Trying to use the pain and discomfort to snap himself back. He couldn't get lost in the horrors of his old life any longer. There were things he needed to deal with here and now. He wouldn't be able to go back and fix himself.
He wished he could though. He wished he could go back twenty or so years, sit his younger self down, and demand an explanation for all he had done. For all the suffering he had caused. For all the hate that he harbored. For all of the lives he had ruined. He knew he wouldn't have been able to give a real answer had he ever been asked. He would have blamed it on his nature, and said that he was forced into the life. But maybe if he had been forced to think about it, maybe if he had been made to truly realize the consequences for his actions, he would have stopped and analyzed it all.
His mind wandered to Karnak, to the boy he had been trying to save. He was a pirate before, just like Verahl was. A slaver as well. He was someone who, if left to his own devices, would have died with a few more years, a victim of his own destruction. Verahl had to save him from this. Save others from what he was doing. Maybe, if he was able to stop him, to force Karnak to change his ways, he'd be able to atone for what he had done. If he saved those that Karnak would now be unable to harm, perhaps it'd help him lay his conscience back to rest.
Verahl started to regain his composure as he found himself back in his office, staring at the floor. He didn't know how long he had been like that. He didn't know how long that he had been staring off into his own distant past. He realized that John hadn't arrived back yet though. It mustn't have been too long.
"He's late," Verahl said aloud as he crossed his office, and into the chair behind his desk. "He'll be here soon though."
Verahl turned the chair, swiveling it to stare out the window again, as he looked down once more, onto the club below.