Masturbation is evil, sex is wrong, and you are gay: A facebook story.

[Evil Smurf]

Okay, So I was on twitter and someone had linked to this facebook page, It's about how masturbation is evil and all that bullshit. I had a look to see if they were real.

<spoiler=About>
About
Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape. It also leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease.

- Lonnie Childs<spoiler=Mission>
Mission
The goal of masturbation is to achieve climax alone by stimulating ones genitals combined one of the following rape methods.

1.) Fantasizing about another person or person(s) . In doing this you are raping that person. You have no right to be thinking those thoughts. Even if you are married and your spouse has given you permission in the past does not mean you still have permission. Just like one time consent does not mean permanent consent in a physical relation.

2.) Looking at dirty Magazines. Just like with number one you are raping the person you are looking at. The liberals might argue that person gave consent when doing the picture shoot. You do not know that for sure. The person may even be married now or grown ugly.

3.) Watching dirty Movies. As with number one or two, you might as well be Ted Bundy illegally having your way with the peoples you are exploiting for your own gratification.

4.) The internets. The internets are full of filth. Computers should be for taxes, online bible studies, and maybe checking the occasional email. Not for rape!

5.) Past Experiences. Sure that "three way" you had with the cheerleader and her sorority sister in college might have been a "good time". However, recalling the sinful pleasure they presented you all night is the same as repeating the same sin all over again.

Some females and gay males use foreign objects and dinguses when masturbating. In doing so you are raping the raw materials of this world.

I ended up engaging in conversation

http://31.media.tumblr.com/d4ef2f4c2af35381d2f6f2abe6381fc6/tumblr_n3l2dyxDox1sp9hk2o1_250.jpghttp://25.media.tumblr.com/c836d6adf35fd99390ca13720d831eec/tumblr_n3l2dyxDox1sp9hk2o2_250.jpghttp://37.media.tumblr.com/6859dd731d163552e0d51aa9c217d3ec/tumblr_n3l2dyxDox1sp9hk2o3_250.jpg

Stay in school kids

 

[shrekfan246]

You know, that all kinda looks like something Jim Sterling would say if he was having a laugh.

"It's like Karate for perverts."

Yeah, I'm... having a hard time taking it seriously, even if it somehow is serious. XD

 

[Evil Smurf]

You know, that all kinda looks like something Jim Sterling would say if he was having a laugh.

"It's like Karate for perverts."

Yeah, I'm... having a hard time taking it seriously, even if it somehow is serious. XD

Sadly it is real. On the plus side, Karate for Perverts is an excellent band name.

 

[Sassafrass]

I remember watching this unfold through your retweets, shit is pretty hilarious. The most hilarious thing I've seen on Twitter today, apart from the kid trying to troll me. XD

 

[Hero in a half shell]

"The person may even be married now or grown ugly."

"The internets. The internets are full of filth."

"gay males use foreign objects and dinguses"

"You catch prostate cancer in a dirty bathroom stall"

"Karate for perverts"

Methinks someone be trollin' wit' ya on da internets.
Fo shizzle.

 

[marioandsonic]

Computers should be for taxes, online bible studies, and maybe checking the occasional email.

...Then why does this group have a Facebook page?

I'm glad the list was short, because by the end my brain was about to fall out.

 

[dyre]

It's pretty clearly trolling. "The person may have even gotten married or grown ugly?" Come on, lol.

I must say though, it's pretty amazing how much effort people will put into trolling

 

[Vault101]

is this real life?

so uh what if a female masturbates? is that ok or will she get pregnant/herpes/become a whore?

 

[Evil Smurf]

is this real life?

so uh what if a female masturbates? is that ok or will she get pregnant/herpes/become a whore?

She'll become a lesbian, kill all men and turn into a witch.

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

It's a joke, dude. You have over 10,000 posts on here, how come you have not yet adapted to the internet? There are incredibly stupid people in the world, many religious, but would anyone who is a religious fanatic put emphasis on the idea that it's wrong to masturbate to someone because they may have "grown ugly"?

It's a ruse. Just like half the people saying racist shit on YouTube aren't actually racists themselves. Most of it is shit talking, trolling and mockery.

 

[Vault101]

is this real life?

so uh what if a female masturbates? is that ok or will she get pregnant/herpes/become a whore?

She'll become a lesbian, kill all men and turn into a witch.

I supose there are worse things...

[spoiler/][img/]http://i.imgur.com/wyCsYbH.gif[/img][/spoiler]

 

[Caiphus]

Yeah, when they're posting stuff like this:

Spoiler: I love the smell of karate in the morning

Chances are they're not being toooootally serious.

Edit - Also this:

Spoiler

That's going on my friend's wall.

 

[Evil Smurf]

It's a joke, dude. You have over 10,000 posts on here, how come you have not yet adapted to the internet? There are incredibly stupid people in the world, many religious, but would anyone who is a religious fanatic put emphasis on the idea that it's wrong to masturbate to someone because they may have "grown ugly"?

It's a ruse. Just like half the people saying racist shit on YouTube aren't actually racists themselves. Most of it is shit talking, trolling and mockery.

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/428/075/30a.jpeg

I really don't think so, people can be that ignorant.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

That was pretty funny, haven't been this entertained by something I've read in a while.

is this real life?

so uh what if a female masturbates? is that ok or will she get pregnant/herpes/become a whore?

masturbation is kill

 

[Elfgore]

Actually their is an actual Facebook page protesting masturbation. This one is obviously a joke, but the other is not.

https://www.facebook.com/fightthenewdrug?ref=profile

This is an actual anti-porn page, that claims it is a drug. They claim it is the number one cause of divorce, that it is tearing America apart, and they compare consenting adult pornography to child pornography. It's fucking moronic the things these people force themselves to believe.

 

[IceForce]

OP, it looks like you got trolled hard.

 

[Vault101]

Actually their is an actual Facebook page protesting masturbation. This one is obviously a joke, but the other is not.

https://www.facebook.com/fightthenewdrug?ref=profile

This is an actual anti-porn page, that claims it is a drug. They claim it is the number one cause of divorce, that it is tearing America apart, and they compare consenting adult pornography to child pornography. It's fucking moronic the things these people force themselves to believe.

there is a question of how porn affects young men and their views on sexualtiy, the whole constant stimulation/dessensitsation thing

 

[Elfgore]

Actually their is an actual Facebook page protesting masturbation. This one is obviously a joke, but the other is not.

https://www.facebook.com/fightthenewdrug?ref=profile

This is an actual anti-porn page, that claims it is a drug. They claim it is the number one cause of divorce, that it is tearing America apart, and they compare consenting adult pornography to child pornography. It's fucking moronic the things these people force themselves to believe.

there is a question of how porn affects young men and their views on sexualtiy, the whole constant stimulation/dessensitsation thing

I could see it. Porn could easily give a young man a completely false idea at what sex is and whatnot. Could also lead to them thinking women are just sex toys, but that seems very unlikely.

But this page is completely blowing it out of proportion.

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

I really don't think so, people can be that ignorant.

That's true, but the way it's worded is still very, very suspect. I stand by it being a troll, possibly that Nikita as well. Contrary to popular belief, not all trolling is derpy and ridiculous. The best trolls come across as well written and convincing as they can.

there is a question of how porn affects young men and their views on sexualtiy, the whole constant stimulation/dessensitsation thing

As a young man who is a very avid consumer of pornography, I can tell you, it has caused no malicious opinions to form in my head regarding the other gender. Hell, it was through porn that I first learned of (and became attracted to) transsexuals and, in turn, learned of the civil issues they face. So it's rather the opposite.

Has my sexual repertoire of kinks and attractions increased due to the exploration of porn? Most definitely. But again, no malicious or bigoted thoughts have been conjured from it. Why? Education. My mother has taught me right from wrong, and things of such nature, and of porn and sex. So I grew up with porn with the right information in my head. If society was more open to educating young people about sexuality, then you'd find things would be less controversial. It isn't a porn issue, it's a societal one.

 

[geK0]

I went to a catholic school and this sounds oddly similar to what one of the teachers there would often say. Maybe this is a troll, but I've heard people use similar logic before..... This could likely be satire because the way it's worded here sounds almost intentionally ridiculous.