Men and homophobia

[JanatUrlich]

I read an amazing book recently called 'How To Be a Woman' by Caitlin Moran. In this book, Moran discusses the fact that men tend to be a lot more homophobic than women. I can't speak for all countries but this is definitely the case in England. She goes on to talk about whether or not this is to do with the fact that men are intimidated by gay men.

Moran says that women are used to being treated as objects of a sexual nature. Be it getting whistled at in the street, or having a stranger grope you on a train. As a woman of only 20 years old I can already say that incidents such as these occur regularly. Woman are constantly pestered about their sexuality and are used to people picking up on it.

Men, however, are not. Moran suggests that this is where the fear of gay men comes from. Men are not used to being sexually targeted as women are. She believes that a lot of men feel threatened by homosexual men as they actually have the physical power to harass them as women are harassed on a daily basis.

I have asked a few of my male friends about this and they say that there could be some truth in the matter. None of my male friends are particularly homophobic, but they admitted that they feel uncomfortable knowing that gay men could hold power over them, whereas most heterosexual females physically could not.

How do you feel about this theory?

 

[Fappy]

It's possible, but I think its more about deep-seeded cultural preconceptions. Masculinity is wired into our brains at a young age and we're programmed to recognize things (or in this case people) that don't conform. People are afraid of what they don't know/understand.

I'll admit, depending on the guy in question I'll get a bit creeped out if they hit on me... but then again I feel similarly uncomfortable when a woman I am not interested in hits on me.

 

[aba1]

I can see the logic in this it makes some sense but I really think it would only really apply to a few men however. I think more men might feel nervous because of the social implications of hanging with gay people. For example if you hang out with a gay guy you yourself must be gay and therefore women will all think you are gay. I could see more guys thinking that than your initial hypothesis to be honest.

 

[Lionsfan]

Yeah I guess I can see that, but in my personal experience, I've seen just as many women nervous of outright lesbians as I've seen men of gay guys.

And that's another issue too. In public perception anyways, there's no such thing as a Bi man. He's either gay or not. But with woman, there's not only bi, but the whole "just experimenting" thing as well

 

[Zhukov]

Nah.

I suppose it could be true if gay guys ran around hitting on and/or harassing every guy in sight. Except they don't.

I've known a few gay guys, including some who were about as stereotypically gay as it's possible to be. They weren't intimidating, like, at all.

I can only imagine a guy being homophobic for that reason if he's never actually met a gay person before.

 

[Mr Cwtchy]

Well, according to this poll: http://www.gallup.com/poll/135764/Americans-Acceptance-Gay-Relations-Crosses-Threshold.aspx

the difference in homophobia rates(as much as that can be measured by a poll) between gender is negligible. But if Moran's theory were to be true, then where exactly does homophobia in women stem from? I don't really feel like the causes could differ that much between gender.

Overall, the theory does sorta make sense, but I'm not wholly convinced by it.

 

[Kennah]

I'm sure there has to be some truth in that statement. While some men that I have met have attempted to befriend me for my physical appearance and similar interest in hobbies (gaming mostly) I've just as much had my fair share of them wanting to date me because of my physical appearance. I can recall several experiences where the man was simply outright blatant, telling me right to my face (My favorite one being "Damn girl! Yo' titties is huge!!!...Wanna go out?") So, the prospect of being propositioned by the same gender could lend to the idea of some men and their homophobia, however extreme it may be. I don't think I could bring up such a subject to my male friends though. To me, asking something on the internet is a lot easier than me asking in real life.

 

[SuperNova221]

Your post reminds me of primary school when if people got insulted, the usual reply was just "Oh, you're just jealous!" I mean that in, sure, it's a possibility that does sort of make sense, but it's just being asserted because it's a possibility, there's plenty others that are just as valid that you could assert for the same reason.

Maybe it is true for some people, I don't know, but for the majority? Probably not. especially since plenty women as equally as homophobic as men are, as people have already pointed out.

 

[yeti585]

I'd suggest not taking information on why some men are homophobic from a woman. It would have some truth, except most men aren't "afraid/threatened" by homosexual men. The largest chunk of Homophobia comes from A)Religion or B)Culture. It is deeply ingrained in some cultures that homosexuality is "wrong".

 

[EeveeElectro]

There may be some truth to that, yeah.
However I think it works the other way too. I've met large number of women who feel uncomfortable around lesbians or bisexuals because they seem to think they fancy every woman they see.
I personally have no problem with it and haven't found anyone recently who does, I think we're on track to stamping out those sort of thoughts. The only ones I know who are still like that are older generations.
Namely my new prick of a neighbour (in his late 40s?) who refuses to acknowledge the gay neighbours, but I guess that's what comes with being an ignorant, homophobic prick.

 

[Weaver]

I guess I just don't care at all. I went out to lunch every day at work for over a year with a gay guy; he was probably my best friend in the office (the only other person really into gaming). I never once felt "threatened" or sexually objectified.

I've been hit on by a gay guy a few times; but it's about as awkward as when a women I'm just absolutely not into comes onto me. Hell, in a sense it's easier because I can just say "Sorry, I'm straight." and that's that.

 

[Phasmal]

I have met a few guys of the `If some gay guy comes on to me I will fucking punch his face in` mentality, and to me it does seem to come from a place of some kind of fear of gay men, but I can't say I know enough about it to really discuss it deeply.

 

[ChildishLegacy]

As a guy in England I agree with you that many other guys are homophobic, which is pretty annoying. I find it hard to stand up against them as well since I'm not gay and people really start to get confused and pissy when you start standing up for OTHER people that aren't there. Such a weird thing to do right?

I think it's more of an empathy problem, straight people find the idea of gay sex pretty weird, just as gay people would find the idea of straight sex pretty weird, but for some reason they decide that because they don't like the idea of it then it is a disgusting thing. Kind of flawed logic really.

 

[Raven's Nest]

I agree with Zhukov here. Not enough gay men go around harassing straight men for this to be even considered a reason. You just don't see men being hit on by other men on the high street or whatever. Only in gay bars which is where you'd totally expect to see it and if you were a straight man uncomfortable with the idea of being hit on by a gay man, you'd simply avoid it.

I can't profess any homophobia myself but I do get annoyed by the stereotypical camp behaviour and attitudes. But then, I'm pretty irritable at the best of times without dealing with the drama queen and super-extroverted behaviour I associate with camp people.

Back in school there seemed to be an equal disliking of gays and lesbians amongst both straight guys and girls. The worst bullying and piss taking I ever saw came at the expense of lesbians by guys to be fair. Thankfully, things have moved on a bit now.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Meh. As someone who's been hit on by members of both genders AS both genders(I'm trans, by the way) I've never had any homophobia towards the gay men that have hit on me as a man(in fact I remain friends with some of them) but I don't know about your standard heterosexual man. My friends weren't repulsed when I came out, but then again my closest friends are a pyromaniac and a BDSM enthusiast, I. E. crazy people, so I dunno there. I haven't had enough experience in that field I guess.

Side note: I realized anything my little group does could easily be the start of a bad joke: So a Transsexual, a Pyro, and a BDSM enthusiast walk into a bar... etc. Fucking goddamn it.

 

[theLadyBugg]

Among women I've met who are uncomfortable with homosexuality, they all seem to be uncomfortable about it in both genders; it's all a big jumble of stuff that weirds them out. Among the men I've met who are uncomfortable, that kind of thinking is the minority, and the majority only have a problem with gay men. Even the most butch boi of the lesbian population makes more sense to some of them than a gay man of any kind.

 

[Scrustle]

That might be true for some people but I don't think it is for me. I've never been homophobic in any way and never felt threatened by gay people at all. I've always been of the opinion that gay people have completely different interests to me sexually and romantically, so there's no reason for me to be concerned about what they're going to do. They're sure as hell not going to go for me either.

 

[aba1]

I'd suggest not taking information on why some men are homophobic from a woman.

I disagree I mean that is the logic that makes many some women say men cannot be feminists or men cannot possibly fathom the pain of child birth etc. See we have this magical thing called empathy it allows us to understand other people.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Most of the homophobia from men pretty much comes from years and years of oppression by a strongly religious and conservative society, the fact that a man exhibiting outwardly feminine characteristics is uncomfortable to many and how (unlike women) men aren?t taught to express such affection with each other (e.g. if a girl holds hands with her female friend, no-one bats an eyelid, but if a man holds hands with his male friend, chances are they?re playing ?Gay Chicken?), and fear of man-on-man rape due to the stereotype that all homosexual men are hypersexual deviants (to that, I?d say, ?Get over yourself. Gay men have standards too, you know. ?).

Personally, if a guy hit on me, I?d just be flattered (unless I was in prison). I wouldn?t be worried that he?s going to stalk me back to my house and go all ?surprise buttsex? on me. But since we live in a heteronormative society, it?s pretty stupid to think that a gay guy?s just going to walk up to an assumed straight guy and start flirting with him, unless they?re both in a gay bar or something.

And the only people I know that dislike some of the gay lads in our year is because of their flamboyance, which, to be honest, I can kind of understand. But that?s not specific to gay men or anything. People tend to dislike both overtly feminine men and women, the same way that people tend to dislike overtly masculine men and women. I watched a panel show a while ago where Louie Spence literally mounted one of the other contestants, and I was just thinking of how ashamed the LGBT community would?ve been.

 

[CODE-D]

Its uncomfortable to have your sexuality questioned in the first place, especially during high school....but the fear comes from people thinking your gay namely women. Because if your a straight male the worst thing that could happen to you is if all the girls your interested in think your gay and dont consider you sexual interest.