Message to your younger self.
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Dear Me:
The bad news is, your life is going to suck. The good news is you ARE going to fly a plane and it is AWESOME.
The bad news is, your life is going to suck. The good news is you ARE going to fly a plane and it is AWESOME.
You're blood type A- so become a vegetarian.
You're a coeliac so stop eating bread.
GET THE F@#K OUT OF YOUR PARENTS PLACE!!!
Get orthodics for your feet. It will stop a lot of pain.
Start smacking people in the head.
Do more exercise and dont be a pansy and you'll get laid more.
The Sharks still havnt won the premiership.
And most importantly, do a Vipassana meditation. This is quite probably the most important thing you will ever do for your mental state. DO IT!!!!!
Also, It's not nice guys that finish last, passive guys finish last. You can be assertive and not be an arsehole.
You're a coeliac so stop eating bread.
GET THE F@#K OUT OF YOUR PARENTS PLACE!!!
Get orthodics for your feet. It will stop a lot of pain.
Start smacking people in the head.
Do more exercise and dont be a pansy and you'll get laid more.
The Sharks still havnt won the premiership.
And most importantly, do a Vipassana meditation. This is quite probably the most important thing you will ever do for your mental state. DO IT!!!!!
Also, It's not nice guys that finish last, passive guys finish last. You can be assertive and not be an arsehole.
Dear DragonsAteMyMarbles, aged 13
I know you're upset. I know you feel lost and unsure of how the rest of your childhood is going to pan out - but trust me, it's all for the best.
You're going to meet some great people, some wonderful people - don't push them away. Hiding behind that wall of sarcasm does you no credit - open your eyes to the world and smile, for feck's sake.
You're not worthless. You are much better than you think you are.
All the best,
DragonsAteMyMarbles, aged 22
P.S. You know how Mum went grey early? Yeah. Have fun with that.
P.P.S. Any questions? Write them down. Then, and only then, turn the page over.
...
1. Yes, by about an inch.
2. Unfortunately, yes.
3. No.
4. No, that's biologically impossible.
5. A few times. It won't be pretty.
6. Yes, you will. And it'll be one of the best years of your life.
7. You have no idea.
8. Emulsifying ointment at least twice daily, even when it's not there. Trust me, you'll stay perfectly clear - if a little shiny.
9. It's only been nine years, you know. Science doesn't move that fast.
10. You can, but it won't help.
11. Nine. A tenth is on the way, apparently.
12. Yes, although I fit the literal description rather than the trope.
I know you're upset. I know you feel lost and unsure of how the rest of your childhood is going to pan out - but trust me, it's all for the best.
You're going to meet some great people, some wonderful people - don't push them away. Hiding behind that wall of sarcasm does you no credit - open your eyes to the world and smile, for feck's sake.
You're not worthless. You are much better than you think you are.
All the best,
DragonsAteMyMarbles, aged 22
P.S. You know how Mum went grey early? Yeah. Have fun with that.
P.P.S. Any questions? Write them down. Then, and only then, turn the page over.
...
1. Yes, by about an inch.
2. Unfortunately, yes.
3. No.
4. No, that's biologically impossible.
5. A few times. It won't be pretty.
6. Yes, you will. And it'll be one of the best years of your life.
7. You have no idea.
8. Emulsifying ointment at least twice daily, even when it's not there. Trust me, you'll stay perfectly clear - if a little shiny.
9. It's only been nine years, you know. Science doesn't move that fast.
10. You can, but it won't help.
11. Nine. A tenth is on the way, apparently.
12. Yes, although I fit the literal description rather than the trope.
Well, I'm 15, but from what I've been though, here's what I would say:
"Don't get a Mac, get a PC. That way you can play pc games."
"Don't get a Mac, get a PC. That way you can play pc games."
To my 13 year old self:
"You're gonna meet a guy named Serg. HE LIKES YOU! GET THE HINT!"
Sincerly, you who found out way too late.
"You're gonna meet a guy named Serg. HE LIKES YOU! GET THE HINT!"
Sincerly, you who found out way too late.
Take gr12 math so you don't have to do a stupid online course. It might not be useful now but after you drop out of police foundations you'll want it for other stuff in college.
Actually I would be afraid to do even that...everything up to now pretty much lead me to my awesome fiance, and I don't think I would want to risk that.
Actually I would be afraid to do even that...everything up to now pretty much lead me to my awesome fiance, and I don't think I would want to risk that.
To my 12 year old self: "Apply to the Sister Cities programs early. You can go more places! For the love of God, apply to scholarships now! Before college. Get a job while you're at it as soon as you're able. Take Calculus. I know Math sucks but we need it. Your high school GPA does not transfer to your college GPA. Freshman year is a new slate. Don't ever drop a class when you pay for it with financial aid. And most importantly, do not use any loans. EVER."
A serious version:
To my past self:
When those dicks start talking trash about you, when they start making fun of you for your Aspergers, when you start thinking that no one loves you...
Push through it. Stick to who you are, and let no one else make you feel like trash about it. If someone makes a bad comment, just laugh it off. It will be painful how they laugh at you, but trust me. You'll be the one laughing in the end.
Joey.
And now for a lighthearted version:
To my past self:
For the love of Christmas,
Do NOT start watching Hannah Montana!
That show is stupidity incarnate!
Joey.
To my past self:
When those dicks start talking trash about you, when they start making fun of you for your Aspergers, when you start thinking that no one loves you...
Push through it. Stick to who you are, and let no one else make you feel like trash about it. If someone makes a bad comment, just laugh it off. It will be painful how they laugh at you, but trust me. You'll be the one laughing in the end.
Joey.
And now for a lighthearted version:
To my past self:
For the love of Christmas,
Do NOT start watching Hannah Montana!
That show is stupidity incarnate!
Joey.
"Avoid Large Redheaded men with psychotic girlfriends. Moreover avoid the girlfriend; finally do not hit 90+ in a 55 mph zone"
"Work harder in school and make sure you get into college. And don't move in with your friends. I promise you WILL regret it."
age 10: Just punch him. He apologises in 5 years but he'll prefer it if you do.
age 14: Keep in contact with people, you miss friends most when they aren't around.
age 16: take A-level maths. you are doing chemistry at uni. what the hell were you thinking dropping it??!
age 19: propose now. She'll say yes. Ask her Dad first. that way you'll be married by now and her parents wont hate you.
age 14: Keep in contact with people, you miss friends most when they aren't around.
age 16: take A-level maths. you are doing chemistry at uni. what the hell were you thinking dropping it??!
age 19: propose now. She'll say yes. Ask her Dad first. that way you'll be married by now and her parents wont hate you.