Michael Bay's take on the Ninja Turles...Oh Boy...

[Formica Archonis]

Dear Michael Bay's assistant:

When he asked for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles source material and you gave him Biker Mice from Mars instead, you probably thought it was funny. It wasn't.

(So they're alien mutants and therefore freakish and deformed compared most aliens? Who happened to know some Japanese ninja masters?)

Eh, whatever. I just can't be arsed to even care about Michael Bay anymore. I just un-headcanon his stuff and enjoy the peripheral benefits like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

This what happens when you treat art like property. It ends up being exploited.

Reporter: Mr Bay, What can you tell me about the origin of TMNT?

*image snip*

Fixed that for you:

Spoiler

 

[Flailing Escapist]

Will he stop at nothing to take advantage of our childhood?

 

[Tipsy Giant]

Ah well the morons will eat it up, they did with Transformers

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

I never cared for TMNT as a child, was always a Transformers fan.
Fans of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have my condolences and if necessary I can provide you with a number for a great grief councillor and Pitchfork/Torch shopping emporium. If we can hold on and just hope for Bay to move onto My Little Pony and Thundercats then we will have gathered enough nostalgic-rage-fueled-strength to destroy Hollywood once and for all and end the plague!

 

[lionsprey]

just remember people DO NOT go see the movie "just to see how bad it is" the only message he would get would be if the movie didn't make any money.

 

[Risingblade]

The only reason he added aliens was to add explosions...

 

[Teh Jammah]

Next year, Michael Bay will decide to make a live action Pokemon movie, where instead of any of the existing theories for Pokemon creation, Pokemon will all be born from plants, the main character will be a college kid who first thinks Pokemon are a side effect of drugs, and Pokemon will speak fluent English.

You forgot the bit where everything blows up and he spends 1/3 plus of the movie felating the US army and having them swoop in to solve the 'pokemon menace' because the real heroes can't get it done on their own.

Oh and adds in a 'hillarious not stereotyped honest' black comic relief character.

 

[shintakie10]

It sounds ridiculous to say that Michael Bay lacks the understanding of subtlety and quality writing necessary to make a movie about teenage mutant ninja turtles, but Michael Bay lacks the understanding of subtlety and quality writing necessary to make a movie about teenage mutant ninja turtles.

It's not the change in backstory that offends me (though it is a bit silly), but rather that Michael fucking Bay is making a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.

Hey! Ninja rap was the greatest thing to happen since ever.

Seriously though, the TMNT movies were all pretty awesome. Slap stick humor? Sure. Funny sound effects to try to make a movie funnier for kids? Also sure. However there were many really great moments in all of the movies (well...maybe less so in 3) and the newest CGI one had some of the best Raph/Leo drama ever on television.

 

[Strain42]

just remember people DO NOT go see the movie "just to see how bad it is" the only message he would get would be if the movie didn't make any money.

Yes, people. Please. The best message we can send here is not to see it. If it bombs, maybe he'll actually think he did something wrong.

 

[Atary77]

Bay has already come out saying that they're going to include elements of TMNT that made people fans to begin with.

Yeah I think this was your pitch for the Transformers movies, and we all know how THOSE turned out!

 

[Strain42]

Next year, Michael Bay will decide to make a live action Pokemon movie, where instead of any of the existing theories for Pokemon creation, Pokemon will all be born from plants, the main character will be a college kid who first thinks Pokemon are a side effect of drugs, and Pokemon will speak fluent English.

You forgot the bit where everything blows up and he spends 1/3 plus of the movie felating the US army and having them swoop in to solve the 'pokemon menace' because the real heroes can't get it done on their own.

Oh and adds in a 'hillarious not stereotyped honest' black comic relief character.

I...that's...I...I...

...I'm sad now. This doesn't even exist and it already feels like it's punched me right in the childhood.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I honestly don't know what to think. On the one hand I did grow up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I'm not at all fond of the idea of him changing the origin story, but on the other hand I'm kinda curious to see how this turns out too.

just remember people DO NOT go see the movie "just to see how bad it is" the only message he would get would be if the movie didn't make any money.

I'll bear that in mind.

 

[Formica Archonis]

Hey! Ninja rap was the greatest thing to happen since ever.

Unfortunately for me it cross-pollinated with a "The Last Binja" joke in Commodore Format (or was it Commodore Power?) and now whenever I hear Ninja Rap I picture a wheelie bin dressed like a ninja rolling down a hill.

 

[eljawa]

but...tmnt is meant to parody the comics that were popular in the 80s. Hence why they were turned into mutant turtles by the same ooze that made Daredevil blind. So if changing the backstory can serve the same purpose in parodying pop culture of modern Comic Books or superheroes or movies, ok.

But this is Michael Bay we are talking about

 

[jim1398]

I normally question why film makers have to do stuff like this. It just seems to be completely pointless since people new to the series aren't really going to care, while fans are going to hate it.

Then I remembered we're talking about Michael Bay. Now I'm willing to put money on the film opening with the Turtles crash landing on Earth in a massive CGI explosion and that's the only reason for him wanting to change the origin story.

 

[For.I.Am.Mad]

Eh, whatever. I just can't be arsed to even care about Michael Bay anymore. I just un-headcanon his stuff and enjoy the peripheral benefits like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

The universe is funny like that.

It's not that they're changing the origin that bothers me, it's that it's Michael Bay changing the origin. Oh god, I wonder which lingerie model is playing April O'Neil.

 

[Tipsy Giant]

just vote with your money, give him none from now on, everything bay is attached to don't pay to see.
Studios will drop him once he stops making them profit. That's what i've been doing and it's worked see.....oh right, idiots are still allowed money, i forgot

 

[Sylveria]

Glad I was never much of a Turtles fan. I only hope all the people raging over this actually refuse to go to the movie this time instead of going to it just so they can ***** on the internet about how it was just as bad as they expected.

Seriously, its your fault Michael Bay is able to do this stuff. You hated Transformers, you hated Transformers 2 more, and you said Transformers 3 was worse than cancer, yet you still saw every single one of them, twice, on opening weekend.