Michael Bay's take on the Ninja Turles...Oh Boy...

[Leemaster777]

Normally, this kind of thing would piss me off...

...but from the second I heard about it, I held no false hope that this could be good. At this point, I just feel like I'm watching a slow-motion train wreck from afar. And I can already see where it's going.

Critics are going to hate it. Fans are going to hate it. It'll make a shit-ton of money on its opening weekend.

The only reason I saw the Transformers movies in theaters was because my dad loves robots, and it's sort of an unofficial bonding experience to watch it with him. I literally have no reason to watch this movie, so I'm just going to enjoy watching my train wreck until it comes out.

 

[Tipsy Giant]

I had the comic of Ninja Turtles and it was more serious and gritty in tone. The turtles were mental killers as in true ninjas without all the colour coding, it was an adult comic so lots of decapitations and no cheesy stuff like the kids show. Even the Splinter/Shredder stuff was awesome, really laying into each other with real hatred. They will never make it though.

I liked Casey Jones from the cartoon.

Have you seen Turtles Forever?

It's a crossover with the 80s and modern cartoon and the comic universe

 

[Shadowstar38]

How fucking hard is it to get this origin story right?

1) Have some turtles
2) Dump polution on them
3) They are now ninjas

My gosh. Can this guy not fuck with Transformers and let that be it? He has to fuck with MY personal childhood too?

We can stop this right here people. For the love of God, make sure this movie bombs so we never have to deal with this again!

 

[Daystar Clarion]

"Fuck man, how do we get kids to believe this shit? I mean 'mutant turtles'? How fucking stupid is that?"

"I know right? If they were aliens, that would make at least a little sense."

Seven tonnes of concaine later...

And I mean, if that's so confusing why keep them as 'teenagers'? I mean, what are these guys? On a road trip through space, smoking space weed and then decide to get their ninja on?

 

[rcs619]

I was never a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan, but I know that it was a treasured childhood icon to many. That it is why my jaw dropped when I saw this...

http://popwatch.ew.com/2012/03/19/michael-bay-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-aliens/?hpt=hp_t2

In short, Bay wants the Turtles to be aliens, not mutated from radiation. He lit the match, now let the rage explode.

Oh and I'm sorry for spelling Turtles wrong in the title. My bad. In a hurry. College paper needs done. Grasp on the English langauge fading....

Honestly... it really just raises more questions than anything. I mean, I'm no super turtle-fan, but I did watch the show a decent amount back when I was little.

Okay, so the turtles are aliens. Is there just a whole race of space-faring anthropomorphic turtles out there?

Why are they using ancient weapons if they're aliens? I mean, I guess their ray-guns could break in the crash, but still.

If they are aliens, then what is Splinter? Is there, like, an entire other alien species of just anthropomorphic rats out there? Are they always allies with the turtle aliens?

Is the universe just full of anthropomorphic space-animals in Michael Bay's version?

Who are the foot clan and Shredder then? Also aliens?... but, aliens that look exactly like humans?

Will Krang be in it? Krang was pretty awesome =D

I am more concerned with how it will look than anything. Michael Bay has a habit of taking simple, older designs and making them super "realistic" angular and busy. I don't think he will just let the turtles keep their old look.

At least the explosions will be nice. Bay IS pretty good at that stuff.

 

[Magic Cheese]

Great. Now all I need is a Micheal Bay-produced Legend of Zelda film (starring Taylor Lautner as Link). In Bay's "re-imagining" (Re: shitting upon) of the franchise, Link is a Modern day college kid who gets caught up in an intergalactic battle between the Evil Zoras (from Planet Zora) and the meatheaded Gorons (from Planet Goron) who saves Earth with the help of his love interest Zelda (a stripper at a local gentlemen's club played by Megan Fox) and his Stepfather Frank Ganondorf (a high-ranking officer in the Marines played by Nic Cage) who at some point in the second act betrays Link but then rethinks his decision and comes to his stepson's aid in the climax of act three.

 

[Aprilgold]

Straight from the script:
"Yo dudes, lets get some pizza"
'MUHAHA, me, SHREDDER, will take over America in the name of random shit that no one gives a fuck about.'
"Holy Kamolie bros, I don't kn-" Michaelangelo gets punched in the face.
In walks in a US Army squadron.
"Its OK, Turtles. We got this."
Insert 90 pages of a bunch of exploisions and the US army being at the front of everything. At the end is a giant metaphor about how awesome the USA is.

Well, at least we can assume.

 

[Goofguy]

I wouldn't even want a reboot of the TMNT, I still enjoy the original live-action movies for what they are. But this, this is just too preposterous. Michael Bay missed April 1st by almost two weeks.

 

[crepesack]

We should just take all the Michael Bay films, and push them somewhere else!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubePTrs2VJc

Damn it you got me haha.

 

[rcs619]

We should just take all the Michael Bay films, and push them somewhere else!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubePTrs2VJc

Damn it you got me haha.

That would be a terrible idea.

Michael Bay films are fragile, finicky things. The slightest bump and BOOM! They go up like an 18-wheeler full of nitro.

 

[Darks63]

Wow and here I thought the concert and christmas specials along with the 3rd movie were the worst things to ever happen to the franchise.

 

[Soxafloppin]

"MUTANT TURTLE" not alien. I'm not even a huge fan of the series but this change just seems pointless.

 

[Macgyvercas]

Oh lord, I am eternally shamed by this.

If anyone wants me, I shall be in the corner committing seppuku.

Why Michael Bay? Why?!!!

Mind if I join? After we kill Michael Bay, that is?

 

[Dastardly]

I was never a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan, but I know that it was a treasured childhood icon to many. That it is why my jaw dropped when I saw this...

http://popwatch.ew.com/2012/03/19/michael-bay-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-aliens/?hpt=hp_t2

In short, Bay wants the Turtles to be aliens, not mutated from radiation. He lit the match, now let the rage explode.

Oh and I'm sorry for spelling Turtles wrong in the title. My bad. In a hurry. College paper needs done. Grasp on the English langauge fading....

I'll never understand how people can get so worked up about this stuff.

Transformers was originally cobbled together to sell toys. It's been through worse than soap-opera-scale continuity juggling, and it's always been a blatant commercial for the merchandise. It was a show about talking alien robots that tranform into infinitely-less-useful vehicles.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Say the title to yourself a few times. Take a breath and do it again. Everyone should realize how ridiculous a premise it is for a show. It worked, because it was for kids -- the "real" show that people know, not the original material that's known to about three dozen people in the world. Again, it was a commercial for toys.

If you're going to attach your loyalty to the source material for something, why pick these things? They're just ads for toy lines. They've always been commercials to get kids to beg for toys. Just be glad Bay isn't going after anything with real meat to it, like Biker Mice from Mars.

 

[Hannabella Doe]

While I never was a turtles fan (I was a kid of the 90's born in 94) I understand why the turtles were a big deal to many from reviews from famous critics such as Doug Walker and James Rolfe. So I understand how big of a deal this is, it'd be the same as hollywood making a dark and gritty version of pokemon and completely changed it. I know I wouldn't be a happy camper about that. So while I never seen the turtles, I still understand.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Ok, I was avoiding hopping on the Michael Bay hate bandwagon up to this point. But making the turtles aliens? Seriously? That's ridiculous.

And I just now realized how ridiculous "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" actually sounds. 0-o huh.

Speaking of retconning the turtles, I've always wondered what people thought about Splinter's origin being changed from the original cartoon to the first movie.

Actually, the cartoon is the one that changed Splinter's backstory from the original. The franchise started out as an underground comicbook, and the first movie was basically the first issue of that comic with a few characters and situations from later in the run thrown in for good measure. That's actually why I'm not quite as worried about this movie as most people are: in the comics, the turtles may have mutated from earth turtles, but the ooze was alien in origin. If either Kevin Eastman or Peter Laird really is working on the script, there's a good chance Michael Bay's comment about an alien origin was referring to the ooze, not the turtles themselves.

Edit: In fact, this thread is showing a disturbing lack of knowledge about the comic. The first half of it was awesome and very much not for kids. It didn't really get silly until after they got the offer for the TV show.

 

[scorptatious]

Ok, I was avoiding hopping on the Michael Bay hate bandwagon up to this point. But making the turtles aliens? Seriously? That's ridiculous.

And I just now realized how ridiculous "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" actually sounds. 0-o huh.

Speaking of retconning the turtles, I've always wondered what people thought about Splinter's origin being changed from the original cartoon to the first movie.

Actually, the cartoon is the one that changed Splinter's backstory from the original. The franchise started out as an underground comicbook, and the first movie was basically the first issue of that comic with a few characters and situations from later in the run thrown in for good measure. That's actually why I'm not quite as worried about this movie as most people are: in the comics, the turtles may have mutated from earth turtles, but the ooze was alien in origin. If either Kevin Eastman or Peter Laird really is working on the script, there's a good chance Michael Bay's comment about an alien origin was referring to the ooze, not the turtles themselves.

Edit: In fact, this thread is showing a disturbing lack of knowledge about the comic. The first half of it was awesome and very much not for kids. It didn't really get silly until after they got the offer for the TV show.

Oh yeah, I heard about the comic, but never actually read it. >_>