[HEADING=1]Miracle's Whip - Best games of 2010[/HEADING]
It was a good year for gaming.
It was a good year for gaming.
We got to beat up wolf-skin clad weirdos under the Colosseum, shoot Fidel Castro in the head, send a lovestruck girl running into a barrage of artillery fire thinking she was meeting up with her new boyfriend, navigate the Prince through some severely difficult platforming, see Alan Wake's wife in her underwear, throw a horse-jacker on the train tracks and watch her get splatted, build 3 mile long Warthog racetracks, leap off the top of the Agency Tower and wing-glide around the city with 3 buddies, cut our own finger off, drive an RC Car up a Ghost camper's asshole, turn our hair into a dragon, watch a man's neck skin stretch and tear as we pull his head off and scan planets for minerals!
Ok, well maybe not that last one, but yeah. There was much fun to be had this year for gamers. So what have I, in my infinitely meaningless opinion, chosen for my top games of the year? Probably ones that will get people annoyed with me. Oh well.
[HEADING=3]5. Enslaved - Odyssey To The West[/HEADING]
The glorious moment that Unreal Engine 3 realised it had more colours than grey and brown
Why it's in the Top 5:
Andy Serkis rocks. Enslaved has some of the best acting, both vocal and physical, this side of post apocalyptica. Speaking of which, its ruined world is a thing of utter beauty - vibrant, alive and full of electrifying flora and colour. Rarely have there been such achingly gorgeous vistas and wonderfully imaginative landscapes in a game. From climbing vines and ivy through toppled skyscrapers to navigating a steampunk-styled giant mech-graveyard, it was captivating from beginning to end.
The combat is visceral and satisfying and it is great fun sending Monkey leaping through some amazing set-pieces and gigantic boss battles. The dynamic between the three protagonists is subtle, funny and very moving. If you're a fan of storytelling in gaming, do yourself a favour and play this under-rated gem.
Why it it's not number 1:
The platforming is a little too easy and requires minimum interaction on the player's behalf. The frame-rate takes some very bad hits, especially later in the game. And the final boss fight is awesome to look at but annoying as hell to partake in.
[HEADING=3]4. Red Dead Redemption[/HEADING]
John was pretty pissed off with Treyarch this year. No more quick-scoping bandits...
Why it's in the Top 5:
As I said in my review, RDR makes you really feel like a cowboy. The world is amazingly designed and utterly immersive. John Marston is a likeable protagonist that will have you rooting for him and wanting to help him through his troubled life. Every character in the game is well written and developed, my personal favorite being the Gollum-like grave robber Seth. The game engine is stunning, with massive draw distances and tonnes of wonderfully rendered wildlife to murder.
Why it's not number 1:
As with every Rockstar game, the controls suck Buffalo nuts. The auto aim is far too generous, but the manual aim is far too inaccurate to play without it. The turning circle has a circumpherence the size of that actress from Precious. Some truly horrendous on-rails and escort missions. John's tough and stubborn character is at odds with his infuriating habit of caving and saying yes to every outrageous demand and petty request anyone ever makes of him. The pacing suffers towards the end of the game, and a certain change in direction near the end made me want to stop playing altogether, despite being allowed to after the end credits.
[HEADING=3]3. Assassin's Creed Brotherhood[/HEADING]
...Ezio, however, was delighted with the Sniper nerf.
Why it's in the top 5:
Brotherhood improves on AC2 in a number of ways. The combat is a huge step forward and thankfully now favours a more aggressive play-style. You can still stand there and counter until everyone is dead, but it's much more fun to pull off an Arkham Asylum style string of balletic, stylish combo kills. Most of the missions are fun and reward experimentation, apart from a few which I talk about below. Renovating Rome is addictive and rewarding, as you watch the population change and react to the positive effect you have on the city. Landmarks are beautifully constructed and true to their real-life versions. The ending is a heart-stopper and makes the game an essential purchase as opposed to AC2.5. Plus, I'm still totally gay for Ezio.
Why it's not number 1:
This game has some of the most rage inducing, controller hurlingly awful mission design I have ever had the displeasure of enduring. The number of instant-fail missions is crazy, with unfairly harsh parameters placed upon the player. In an open world full of so many paths and random occurrences, the mission design should never be this strict. This is especially apparent when the supposed rules of the game will flat out break and work against you... the worst example being the guards who magically raise the alarm after you assassinate them, causing you to replay 10-15 minutes of 'stealth'.
The 100% sync system hates you. It turns the game from a fun romp into a teeth-grindingly frustrating chore. Do not take any damage in the tank?? Are you serious? Get hit by one cannonball and I have to replay the entire mission again, including the 20 minute stealth part before it?? That's just Ghosts And Goblins style cruelty. Sure it was optional, but you missed some the best story content in the game if you didn't do it. Then there are the detection and jumping issues, where Ezio will do exactly the opposite of what you thought you told him to do. AC2 rarely had these problems.
[HEADING=3]2. Fallout: New Vegas[/HEADING]
For once, these weren't the scariest bugs in the game.
Why it's in the top 5:
Lonesome Drifter: 'Well, I came out of North Montana where me and Ma lived...'
Courier: 'Wait, Montana? You wouldn't happen to be a 17 year old girl, would you?!?'
Lonesome Drifter: 'No sir, I am 28. Why?'
Courier: 'Oh thank God. You were saying?'
It's the sequel the Fallout fans wanted. An amazingly deep and varied story that has more twists and turns than a bombed out spaghetti junction. Hundreds of interesting and utterly demented characters. I wrote in my review that the beauty of Fallout is the way it pokes juvenile fun at dark, adult themes. In this aspect New Vegas certainly delivers, at times both hilarious and depressing... sometimes together. It had tens of thousands of lines of the best dialogue gaming has ever seen. Who can forget the molerat-men, coming to steal the women folk so the Chupacabra can paint the moon pink and draw a Lenin face on it? Or Fantastic telling you: 'They asked me if I had a degree in theoretical physics, I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics'? Or telling Fisto that you couldn't feel your legs? Pure genius.
For once, these weren't the scariest bugs in the game.
Why it's in the top 5:
Lonesome Drifter: 'Well, I came out of North Montana where me and Ma lived...'
Courier: 'Wait, Montana? You wouldn't happen to be a 17 year old girl, would you?!?'
Lonesome Drifter: 'No sir, I am 28. Why?'
Courier: 'Oh thank God. You were saying?'
Why it's not number 1:
Oh, come on, you know why. It was an utter disgrace that the game was released in its unfinished state and it had some of the worst bugs in the history of anything, ever. No-one likes having 80 hours worth of save files rendered unplayable.
And the winner is.... dum dum duuummmmmm.....
[HEADING=1]1: Mass Effect 2[/HEADING]
The pervs over on DeviantArt must have flooded Bioware with thank you letters for all the inspiration
Why it's number 1:
The pervs over on DeviantArt must have flooded Bioware with thank you letters for all the inspiration
Why it's number 1:
There was one point towards the end of ME2 where I jumped out of my chair full of adrenalin, danced around the room like a demented 3-year old, punching the air with joy and exhilaration while holding back little manly tears of pure joy and excitement.
I would focus on the amazingly deep and fantastically written characters, the meaty and satisfying combat, the amazing music, the fun powers, the buckets of wonderful humour, the perfect pacing, the flawless technical and visual polish, the terrifying enemies, the best-told story in the medium, the frustration-free mission and level design, the Blade Runner styled ugly beauty of Omega, the Elcor Hamlet becoming a hit, Miranda's bum, the compelling team-mate missions (making Tali and Legion have a friendly moment was a highlight), the dialogue system, the stunning vistas, the one liners ('You humans are all racist!') and the fact that even a couple of the DLCs were awesome...
But you know all that stuff already. For me, it was that one moment that sealed it for me. That orgasmic, explosive finale. Utterly epic in scale, scope and emotional clout, it was just perfect. It was the most intense and wonderful moment of escapism I'd had through an entertainment medium since King Theoden and the Riders of Rohan charged down the hill at sunrise.
Even the one little part that sucked (the notorious planet scanning) got patched. The only other negative I can really think of is that Jack is really irritating. No game has ever made me feel the way ME2 did, the only one that came close was its big brother. Screw game of the year, ME2 is my game of the generation.
Sooooooooo....
I hope you enjoyed that, I know some of you will be surprised not to see Black Ops in there. That's because when the honeymoon ended, it turned out to be just as broken and frustrating as all the other COD games and ultimately caused me more pain than pleasure. Were it not for the knifing, the RC Cars, the worst spawn system I've ever seen and the awful lag, it might have got in there.
Black OPs: Visual Review
So yeah 2010 was great, apart from a few titles teaching me that maybe I may have anger management issues. I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and with Arkham City, Dragon Age 2, Bulletstorm, Gears 3, Homefront and Dead Space 2 on the way, looks like 2011 is going to be another fun year for gamers!
