We've all encountered people who couldn't tell shit from sugar with a mouthful but who think they're experts on everything. Random case in point: a guy came into the pizza shop where I used to work. The conversation went like this:
Guy: Your candy bars are all rotten. I bought some the other day.
Me: They're not rotten, sir. We run ovens all day long, the sun shines on the candy rack, it's just too damn hot for the product to hold up. Inevitably, some of it ends up discolored and flaky.
Guy: They didn't taste right. Somebody's gonna get sick off those.
Me: No, sir, they won't make you sick, they're just dried out. Loss of moisture does affect the flavor. We get this problem every summer, happens like clockw.....
Guy: Somebody's gonna get sick and sue you.
Me: (sigh) How, sir? And for what? There's no case. That product might be unappetizing, and I'll pull it from the rack, but it simply will not make you sick unless you're allergic to chocolate. We will happily return your money if.....
Guy: I'm sure you don't want any of THAT kind of trouble.
It went on from there. I swear I could actually see my sensible, simple explanation go in one ear and out the other. It was like he was unable to hear it. I recognize the explanation was delivered by a guy in a dopey yellow hat who was making pizza for a living, but you'd think working in the establishment where the problem occured might have given me a crumb of credibility. Not so, apparently. I found myself hoping he'd get himself killed in some paroxysm of stupidity that left him just enough time to realize, in his final second of life, what a complete goddamned moron he was and had always been.
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Also, I've been seeing a lot of line-straddlers lately. Lines are painted on the road so you know where to drive and, much more importantly, where the fuck NOT to drive. I am continually coming upon morons who have to jerk their wheels to get back on their side of the road. Happens twice a day at least. Seriously, how can anyone drive so unsafely and still have a vehicle? How have they not all wrecked?