Moments that make you feel smarter

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

I walked to Walmart to find myself some cookie dough ice cream and a PS Plus card. I got my card and headed toward the ice cream section. I made it to the row with all the ice cream on it and I was greeted by 5 girls and a guy twerking. In front of the fucking ice cream. While an employee watched them. I make a strategy to get the ice cream without getting twerked on or yelled at. My strategy failed as I not only got twerked on but yelled at for getting in the way. I remained calm and got my ice cream while the twerkers scolded me. I got home and thought of how fucking stupid those people were and thanked our lord and savior Peter Gabriel that I'm not that stupid.

So what moments in your life have made you feel smarter?

 

[Queen Michael]

I was on the train, and a bunch of teens were talking behind me.
"So that means we gotta figure out 24/5."
"Can you do that?"
I turned to them and said "4.8."

Felt pretty smart.

 

[piinyouri]

The epitome of me feeling "smart" is when I tell folks Lar's drum wasn't altered in post production, nor was he actually using a trashcan on St.Anger and all he did was flip a lever that is on the side of every snare drum that removes the snare from the bottom skin.

My life is very sad.

 

[The Wykydtron]

[sub][sub]What the fuck is twerking?[/sub][/sub]


Well there was one petty victory when three of us friends were playing 1v1v1 in Magic 2014. We were making cases for who the really far ahead guy should wipe out first. This is after 7 games of me being Blue Deck or Red Deck and denying Jake (the one making the case) victory out of spite and Rookie just played clean up every game.

He's really tryhard. He will always go on about how he has teh baist cards and plans and OMG GRAVE TITAN IN ONE TURN! even when he's doing average. I have used my back up plans on him over many games when his dramatic rundown of how good he is got to me and I annihilated him with direct damage cards. Then he sulks and goes "just X more turns and I would have won"

He said

"Come on, do you really want the **** to win?"

"Exactly, this is what i've been saying the whole time. Why would you want that **** to win?"

WAAAYYYYYYY GET REKT BEST WIT EU

 

[Queen Michael]

The epitome of me feeling "smart" is when I tell folks Lar's drum wasn't altered in post production, nor was he actually using a trashcan on St.Anger and all he did was flip a lever on the side of ever snare drum that removes the snare from the bottom skin.

Is that from Game of Thrones?

 

[piinyouri]

[sub][sub]What the fuck is twerking?[/sub][/sub]

Unnecessary name for something that's been going on forever.
Shaking your ass.

There's another of dem moments. : D

@Queen Michael
Nope, an oft maligned Metallica album.

 

[The Wykydtron]

[sub][sub]What the fuck is twerking?[/sub][/sub]

Unnecessary name for something that's been going on forever.
Shaking your ass.

There's another of dem moments. : D

@Queen Michael
Nope, an oft maligned Metallica album.

That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard

Well I guess you *do* learn something new every day... In its defense, I would imagine it would be good hip exercise.

To be honest though the risk/reward of that situation isn't in the ice cream's favour. I would just go somewhere else, maybe it would teach the place that letting people do stupid shit on premises loses you customers. Not all of us are brave enough to risk that nightmare scenario.

 

[Queen Michael]

[sub][sub]What the fuck is twerking?[/sub][/sub]

Unnecessary name for something that's been going on forever.
Shaking your ass.

There's another of dem moments. : D

@Queen Michael
Nope, an oft maligned Metallica album.

That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard

Well I guess you *do* learn something new every day... In its defense, I would imagine it would be good hip exercise.

It only counts as twerking if you shake your keister up and down, though.

 

[The Wykydtron]

[sub][sub]What the fuck is twerking?[/sub][/sub]

Unnecessary name for something that's been going on forever.
Shaking your ass.

There's another of dem moments. : D

@Queen Michael
Nope, an oft maligned Metallica album.

That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard

Well I guess you *do* learn something new every day... In its defense, I would imagine it would be good hip exercise.

It only counts as twerking if you shake your keister up and down, though.

Seriously what the fuck is this? It sounds more retarded per fact I learn. What next? Does it only count if you're wearing skintight Lycra bottoms?

Thanks for the info... I guess. May have to go on an intense brain scrubbing session now though.

 

[HardkorSB]

To be honest, every time I leave the house, especially when I go to work.

For example, one of my co-workers believes pretty much every tin foil type of conspiracy theory out there - the Illuminati, the Lizard people, several species of aliens living among us, nanobots in our food and water etc. You name it, he believes it.

My ex-boss made me feel really smart. He had his share of brilliant things to say. Here's one: according to him IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO SMELL YOUR OWN SHIT. That's not a metaphor for anything, he really believes that.

When I was in college, the whole myth of college students being smart fell apart fr me. The stand out moment was during one lecture. 2 girls sitting in front of me were discussing some deals at clothing stores. Here's how it went more or less:
- Remember that jacket I wanted to buy last week?
- The one for $100?
- Yeah, now it's 20% off.
- How much is that?
- 14...15...
I started laughing at that point.

I live in Edinburgh and we have this one street called Cowgate filled with clubs and pubs.
Sometimes I feel like I should go out more and have fun like most people do. Then I take a stroll down that street on any given weekend and I lose that urge. It's like walking into a zoo, except someone opened up all the cages and given the animals alcohol and other drugs.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Seriously what the fuck is this? It sounds more retarded per fact I learn. What next? Does it only count if you're wearing skintight Lycra bottoms?

Thanks for the info... I guess. May have to go on an intense brain scrubbing session now though.

For a bit more context, it's a dancing style (sorta kinda) that has been popular amongst black women in the US for a while, but only got noticed now that certain white female celebs have decided to do it to show how...something or other they are.

...

Was hoping knowing this might make me feel smart, but it didn't work

 

[Johnny Impact]

We've all encountered people who couldn't tell shit from sugar with a mouthful but who think they're experts on everything. Random case in point: a guy came into the pizza shop where I used to work. The conversation went like this:

Guy: Your candy bars are all rotten. I bought some the other day.
Me: They're not rotten, sir. We run ovens all day long, the sun shines on the candy rack, it's just too damn hot for the product to hold up. Inevitably, some of it ends up discolored and flaky.
Guy: They didn't taste right. Somebody's gonna get sick off those.
Me: No, sir, they won't make you sick, they're just dried out. Loss of moisture does affect the flavor. We get this problem every summer, happens like clockw.....
Guy: Somebody's gonna get sick and sue you.
Me: (sigh) How, sir? And for what? There's no case. That product might be unappetizing, and I'll pull it from the rack, but it simply will not make you sick unless you're allergic to chocolate. We will happily return your money if.....
Guy: I'm sure you don't want any of THAT kind of trouble.

It went on from there. I swear I could actually see my sensible, simple explanation go in one ear and out the other. It was like he was unable to hear it. I recognize the explanation was delivered by a guy in a dopey yellow hat who was making pizza for a living, but you'd think working in the establishment where the problem occured might have given me a crumb of credibility. Not so, apparently. I found myself hoping he'd get himself killed in some paroxysm of stupidity that left him just enough time to realize, in his final second of life, what a complete goddamned moron he was and had always been.
---------------------
Also, I've been seeing a lot of line-straddlers lately. Lines are painted on the road so you know where to drive and, much more importantly, where the fuck NOT to drive. I am continually coming upon morons who have to jerk their wheels to get back on their side of the road. Happens twice a day at least. Seriously, how can anyone drive so unsafely and still have a vehicle? How have they not all wrecked?

 

[RyQ_TMC]

Let's categorize!

Smart in a good way

A few years back, I indulged in a QI binge. And let me tell you, there's no better feeling than the one you get when you spot the questions where they decided that "factually innacurate" shouldn't get in the way of "quite interesting". There were a few for me, though I don't remember the actual questions now...

Smart in a neutral way

Whenever there's a news piece on the radio or TV where they cite statistics to support a conclusion, I like to point out how the stats given don't actually support what they're saying. This got me a bit of a reputation, but doesn't really count as statistics are pretty much my job.

Smart in a bad way

I love the Middle Ages - the history, the culture, all that jazz. But it happens to be an era of which most people (including some who should know better) are painfully ignorant. So every time I get to correct someone spouting Standard Medieval History Myth #4256 it makes me feel kinda smart, but also dreaming of a day when it wouldn't be necessary...

 

[FPLOON]

Seriously what the fuck is this? It sounds more retarded per fact I learn. What next? Does it only count if you're wearing skintight Lycra bottoms?

Thanks for the info... I guess. May have to go on an intense brain scrubbing session now though.

For a bit more context, it's a dancing style (sorta kinda) that has been popular amongst black women in the US for a while, but only got noticed now that certain white female celebs have decided to do it to show how...something or other they are.

...

Was hoping knowing this might make me feel smart, but it didn't work

As someone who found out about twerking in elementary school listening to Lil Jon, especially... There's just certain things that makes me wonder if I was born in the "right" generation... (Then, I slap the main conscience that keeps thinking that... It makes me feel "smrter" that way... "Get low get low get low get low get low get low"...)

OT: Whenever I explain the little details between different versions of things, it's amazing how I have not yet use my knowledge for a higher purpose... (Now that I think about it, I have a comparison video to work on...)