Alright, kind of ranty and ragey.
Tonight, I got rather pissed off with my parents. I'm 18, attending community college, and recently got engaged. Now every year, we have a family reunion. Its 4 hours away, and my family wanted to invite my fiancee (they think shes my GF to avoid confrontation with her parents, been about 6 months and we got engaged at month 5.5) I sure as hell didnt want her in a hotel room with my family. And I wouldn't ask my cousins if she could crash there with me (they're all religious, so shed have to sleep far away from me), because they're strangers to each other.
So, to avoid awkwardness, I decided to ask if I could split the cost of a room with her, and just crash with her. (Literally crash, only time in hotel is like from 11PM till 6AM before we get back up) A grand total of 3 nights. We don't sleep with each other, ever, but we do have sex, which my parents are aware of.
Despite the rest of my family being of a religious persuasion, my immediate family is not religious at all. I get along with all of them, even if I do resent them dragging me to church and trying to convert me each year.
My parents said no, and were completely adamant. They KNOW we have sex, but they wont let us share a bed. The reason? GOD WONT APPROVE. Completely out of left field. I was rather shocked. I argued, saying that I was raised in a setting that let me make my own moral compass, not one that spewed out memorization of a book. I am a good person. I respected all of my parent's beliefs (maybe questioned, but never disobeyed outright) for 18 solid years. I have a job, a car, and I am basically living at home for convenience. And my mom doesn't want to let me go till after community college is over, really.
All I wanted was 3 nights where we went by a belief shared by me, an atheist, and my girlfriend, a presbyterian. That sleeping together strictly in the sharing of a bed sense is okay, that we just don't want to feel so fucking lonely every night. Even if it is just a few nights. They go into what the extended family would think (and ignored the fact that they didn't have to fucking announce it), and said I would be basically disowned. I love my family, and because of this god bullshit they would shun me for an innocent act of finding comfort in my fiancee's warmth. When my fiancee met my uncle at his house, he pulled me aside and told me blatantly that we needed to keep it christian in his house, like I would fucking make out with her in front of all of my cousins from in town. He even met her at my house with family members there too, and I didn't do a single thing unseemly or unchristian.
Suddenly I go from respecting religion but politely declining it to hating it with such an intense passion that I would go back in time and burn every holy book right now if I could. I loved the uncle who took me aside before that, we were both rather sarcastic with each other and I always found him hilarious. Now I know that my family is brainwashed beyond repair, that it is unacceptable for me to share a room that I would be forced to pay half of either way or she can't even go. My beliefs are shit, because Jesus says so, basically. I borderline hate them all. My fiancee is the sweetest girl I know,, and my mom and dad would agree. That stops when the claws come out from my family, they just join them.
So... discussion. Am I in the right? I think that if we have to pay for the room, we get a say in how it is used. I mean, I'm not going for the first time in all of my life because of this utter shit. Any similar experiences where someone shitstomps your beliefs for no good reason?
Tonight, I got rather pissed off with my parents. I'm 18, attending community college, and recently got engaged. Now every year, we have a family reunion. Its 4 hours away, and my family wanted to invite my fiancee (they think shes my GF to avoid confrontation with her parents, been about 6 months and we got engaged at month 5.5) I sure as hell didnt want her in a hotel room with my family. And I wouldn't ask my cousins if she could crash there with me (they're all religious, so shed have to sleep far away from me), because they're strangers to each other.
So, to avoid awkwardness, I decided to ask if I could split the cost of a room with her, and just crash with her. (Literally crash, only time in hotel is like from 11PM till 6AM before we get back up) A grand total of 3 nights. We don't sleep with each other, ever, but we do have sex, which my parents are aware of.
Despite the rest of my family being of a religious persuasion, my immediate family is not religious at all. I get along with all of them, even if I do resent them dragging me to church and trying to convert me each year.
My parents said no, and were completely adamant. They KNOW we have sex, but they wont let us share a bed. The reason? GOD WONT APPROVE. Completely out of left field. I was rather shocked. I argued, saying that I was raised in a setting that let me make my own moral compass, not one that spewed out memorization of a book. I am a good person. I respected all of my parent's beliefs (maybe questioned, but never disobeyed outright) for 18 solid years. I have a job, a car, and I am basically living at home for convenience. And my mom doesn't want to let me go till after community college is over, really.
All I wanted was 3 nights where we went by a belief shared by me, an atheist, and my girlfriend, a presbyterian. That sleeping together strictly in the sharing of a bed sense is okay, that we just don't want to feel so fucking lonely every night. Even if it is just a few nights. They go into what the extended family would think (and ignored the fact that they didn't have to fucking announce it), and said I would be basically disowned. I love my family, and because of this god bullshit they would shun me for an innocent act of finding comfort in my fiancee's warmth. When my fiancee met my uncle at his house, he pulled me aside and told me blatantly that we needed to keep it christian in his house, like I would fucking make out with her in front of all of my cousins from in town. He even met her at my house with family members there too, and I didn't do a single thing unseemly or unchristian.
Suddenly I go from respecting religion but politely declining it to hating it with such an intense passion that I would go back in time and burn every holy book right now if I could. I loved the uncle who took me aside before that, we were both rather sarcastic with each other and I always found him hilarious. Now I know that my family is brainwashed beyond repair, that it is unacceptable for me to share a room that I would be forced to pay half of either way or she can't even go. My beliefs are shit, because Jesus says so, basically. I borderline hate them all. My fiancee is the sweetest girl I know,, and my mom and dad would agree. That stops when the claws come out from my family, they just join them.
So... discussion. Am I in the right? I think that if we have to pay for the room, we get a say in how it is used. I mean, I'm not going for the first time in all of my life because of this utter shit. Any similar experiences where someone shitstomps your beliefs for no good reason?
