Morals and Beliefs

[LongAndShort]

Don't fucking poor hate upon religion because of some foolishness from your family. I'm a Christian, and I wouldn't have a problem with it. Stop bitching and harden the fuck up. If you feel they don't have the right to tell you what to do, don't let them. If they really care about you they need to learn to respect your beliefs as well. Respect and tolerance is a two way street.

 

[UnmotivatedSlacker]

You're probably going to get over this soon.

If you're seriously engaged, and it's not just infatuation, then you have the rest of your life to sleep in the same bed as her. I don't see why three nights would matter for the sake of your family's beliefs.

It's the principle of the matter. His family has no right to tell him what he can or can't do with his fiancee. Especially in a room they're paying for.

 

[rabidmidget]

You could just tell them that you're buying two hotel rooms next to each other, but actually get one.

It could work as long as they never go to the hotel.

 

[Thaius]

Well I do think there is an objective morality and belief system. If Christianity turns out to be right, for instance, no amount of "But I believed otherwise!" will change your fate.

However, this is a free country, meaning you should be able to live however you like. In this case, it is simply family being tough on you. But don't blame religion. Most parents have something like this: it's really no different than if your father was a businessman that wanted you to take over the family business and took steps to ensure you took that path. This is not the fault of religion, it's a matter of your family. And to be completely honest, annoying though it may be, I don't think it should be that hard to respect their wishes just for this while.

 

[Colour Scientist]

You're probably going to get over this soon.

If you're seriously engaged, and it's not just infatuation, then you have the rest of your life to sleep in the same bed as her. I don't see why three nights would matter for the sake of your family's beliefs.

It's the principle of the matter. His family has no right to tell him what he can or can't do with his fiancee. Especially in a room they're paying for.

Well he's still living in his parents' house so he should have some degree of respect for their priciples. Once they stop paying his bills then he's completely justified in telling them to fuck off.

 

[Woodsey]

You're an adult, do what you fucking want.

If God and your parents weren't so egotistical they'd let you choose how you want to do things.

 

[GudangGaram]

Well I do think there is an objective morality and belief system. If Christianity turns out to be right, for instance, no amount of "But I believed otherwise!" will change your fate.

When you said objective and morality in one sentence I was curious and puzzled at the same time, but then you lost me with 'If Christianity turns out to be right [..] no amount [..] will change your fate. I must not get it, I suppose. But I would really like for you to elaborate.

However, this is a free country, meaning you should be able to live however you like. In this case, it is simply family being tough on you. But don't blame religion. Most parents have something like this: it's really no different than if your father was a businessman that wanted you to take over the family business and took steps to ensure you took that path. This is not the fault of religion, it's a matter of your family. And to be completely honest, annoying though it may be, I don't think it should be that hard to respect their wishes just for this while.

Yes, OP, Thaius is completely right on this. You should respect the wishes of you family for they are 1)older, 2)wiser, 3)have the right Faith, 4)You must honor your father and mother, 5) Are indeed your family, and family is important, 5)More people (in your family) seem to have strong feelings against the two of you sleeping together, then the amount of people having strong feelings in favor of sleeping in one room together, therefor it's safe to say that it's right to NOT sleep in the same room.

In case I need to spell it out, these 5 arguments are all equally flawed.

But in all seriousness, it is indeed, not really a matter of religion, but of people.

"If you don't respect yourself (standing up for yourself), don't respect respect from anyone else"
Who knows a crazy thing might happen. Like your family respecting YOUR decision (though in my experience a highly unlikely scenario, considering).

 

[fenrizz]

Get a hotell room with your girlfriend.

I mean, what are they gonna do?

Silly religious people.

 

[Kurokami]

So... discussion. Am I in the right? I think that if we have to pay for the room, we get a say in how it is used. I mean, I'm not going for the first time in all of my life because of this utter shit. Any similar experiences where someone shitstomps your beliefs for no good reason?

A persons house has their rules, all the same I think that some things needn't be said and that they went a bit extreme there with the disowning, perhaps its simply a cheap tactic, all the same resentful but empty non-the-less as a threat. Perhaps its just best to take a deep breath and cool down instead of just getting angry with them.

Also, you're already engaged?

May I ask why, without sounding condescending?

 

[tomtom94]

I like the way that religion can provide comfort and a moral code to those in need of it.

I hate when people assume it is their right to shove it down your throat.
Ignore them, do whatever the fuck you want.

 

[fenrizz]

So... discussion. Am I in the right? I think that if we have to pay for the room, we get a say in how it is used. I mean, I'm not going for the first time in all of my life because of this utter shit. Any similar experiences where someone shitstomps your beliefs for no good reason?

A persons house has their rules, all the same I think that some things needn't be said and that they went a bit extreme there with the disowning, perhaps its simply a cheap tactic, all the same resentful but empty non-the-less as a threat. Perhaps its just best to take a deep breath and cool down instead of just getting angry with them.

Also, you're already engaged?

May I ask why, without sounding condescending?

But theyre not staying at his parent's house though.
I think demanding separate rooms, that they have to pay themselves, is way over the line.

They are over 18, and they have been invited.
As long as they are accomodated elsewhere, his parents have no right to demand a thing like this.

 

[VulakAerr]

You're in the right. The way I see it, you have 3 options (all of which I believe you should share with your fiancee, making sure that she sees it's your family's fault that you are in this situation):

1) Take a hard line with your family. Maybe even tell them that you're engaged and that if they want any part at all in the wedding, they will support you and your beliefs.

2) Don't go, and back off them until they see sense.

3) You're paying for the room. Go to the reunion and do whatever the fuck you want. It's your life. If they want to get immature about it and give you the cold shoulder then I guess you know where you stand.

 

[Kurokami]

So... discussion. Am I in the right? I think that if we have to pay for the room, we get a say in how it is used. I mean, I'm not going for the first time in all of my life because of this utter shit. Any similar experiences where someone shitstomps your beliefs for no good reason?

A persons house has their rules, all the same I think that some things needn't be said and that they went a bit extreme there with the disowning, perhaps its simply a cheap tactic, all the same resentful but empty non-the-less as a threat. Perhaps its just best to take a deep breath and cool down instead of just getting angry with them.

Also, you're already engaged?

May I ask why, without sounding condescending?

But theyre not staying at his parent's house though.
I think demanding separate rooms, that they have to pay themselves, is way over the line.

They are over 18, and they have been invited.
As long as they are accomodated elsewhere, his parents have no right to demand a thing like this.

My statement still seems to stand, person's house = person's rules simply means that I believe that if they are sleeping in the hotel room, they needn't worry about what anyone else says.

And yes, this seems very mixed up to me, but then my family is not religious at all, though we celebrate the holidays as traditions and simply show respect when needed. I guess I can't understand that mind set.

 

[alrekr]

you should just force science and logic upon the zealots. Oh how I enjoy confusing conservative knobheads with logic and attempting to explaing basic scince to them, for an added bonus tell your parents your not only an atheist but also a communist that will freak them right out.

 

[Brightzide]

My thoughts. You should be allowed to do whatever you want matey. Your folks are religous and there is nothing wrong with that, It becomes a problem when they impose their views on life on someone who doesnt care and doesnt want to hear it, and practically shove it down your throat. Do what you want with your girlfriend mate, live life your way and your family should most definately respect your wishes.

 

[Oh That Dude]

There's two of you, in a hotel room, on your own. Either tell your parents to leave you the fuck alone because you're 18 and can make decisions for yourself, try and argue reasonably or just do it anyway and lie. Or don't bother lying, shock them a bit.

 

[UnmotivatedSlacker]

You're probably going to get over this soon.

If you're seriously engaged, and it's not just infatuation, then you have the rest of your life to sleep in the same bed as her. I don't see why three nights would matter for the sake of your family's beliefs.

It's the principle of the matter. His family has no right to tell him what he can or can't do with his fiancee. Especially in a room they're paying for.

Well he's still living in his parents' house so he should have some degree of respect for their priciples. Once they stop paying his bills then he's completely justified in telling them to fuck off.

He does respect his parents principles. It's his principles that aren't being respected especially since they keep trying to convert him. If they want respect, they need to respect him too.

 

[Estocavio]

Well, its fine. Just do it. Then go repent for 20 minutes or something and itll all be fine

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

My parents said no, and were completely adamant. They KNOW we have sex, but they wont let us share a bed. The reason? GOD WONT APPROVE. Completely out of left field. I was rather shocked. I argued, saying that I was raised in a setting that let me make my own moral compass, not one that spewed out memorization of a book. I am a good person. I respected all of my parent's beliefs (maybe questioned, but never disobeyed outright) for 18 solid years. I have a job, a car, and I am basically living at home for convenience. And my mom doesn't want to let me go till after community college is over, really.

Wait a minute, aren't you legally allowed to make your own choices at the age of 18, regardless of what your parents say?

How about staying at that hotel room and tell your parents that you are going to do it regardless of what they feel abou it. And then ask them if they REALLY wish to disassociate themselves completely because of such a silly reason.

If God doesn't "approve", then tha's an issue between YOU and GOD isn't it? What right do they have to interfere in such divine business?

 

[Terminate421]

I firmly believe one can enjoy anything at any age

For example: I can play pokemon even at the age of 55. I might just play it at home but I might still find the games fun around that time

Wait, this is your problem?

Damn, uh....try telling them its not their job to do gods work. (I am catholic and have done this several times, normally they realize what they are doing and back off)