Most awkward game quotes.

[MortisLegio]

Some jRPG whose title i cant remember. Can't really remember the scene but this is more or less what appeared on screen

Guy : So I just stick this crystal into you?
Girl : Yes, please, go slow.
Guy : Okay.
Girl : Ouch!
Guy : Are you okay?
Girl : I'm fine. Its just so big!


...

What the heck was going through the writer's mind when he wrote this??
Also, if anyone knows where this came from, can you please tell me?

you mean this

Spoiler

"I'm coming"
every JRPG or dynasty warriors game has this line

they make it sound so dirty

 

[TjoxYorro]

Uncharted 2:

Chloe jumps in Drakes arms and sais: Is that your dagger, or a Tibetanian (Spelling?) ritual?
Drake: I might be very happy to see you

 

[Icedshot]

The "HARHARHARHARHARHAR!!!!" scene from FFX anyone?

OH GOD
id completely forgotten about that, its horrendously bad..

 

[Monkeytacoz]

" Don't piss on my cupcakes " - Army of Two

what?....

 

[J474]

you mean this

Spoiler

That is the funniest thing I have ever seen...
I just saw this on Kotaku, though

Spoiler

 

[sonicmaster1989]

Most of Madworld is that. My favorite is:

Creese- "You know, I've discovered that those Happy Pills work much better when ground up and injected into the folds of your scrot."

Howard- "I'll give you a dollar if you can name something that ISN'T better when injected there."

Creese- "Ahah, you got me!"

 

[Seldon2639]

Some jRPG whose title i cant remember. Can't really remember the scene but this is more or less what appeared on screen

Guy : So I just stick this crystal into you?
Girl : Yes, please, go slow.
Guy : Okay.
Girl : Ouch!
Guy : Are you okay?
Girl : I'm fine. Its just so big!


...

What the heck was going through the writer's mind when he wrote this??
Also, if anyone knows where this came from, can you please tell me?

It's from Ar Tonelico. The scene, essentially, is that in order to upgrade girl/cyborg... Things, the main character has to insert crystals into the base of her skull, and use them to delve into her psyche. The girl in question has never had that done before, and... Yeah.

I'm not sure it necessarily counts though, because it's not like the writer said to himself "oh, this is completely innocent". It's meant as a massive double-entendre. Is it really awkward if the original intent of the scene was to be awkward?

 

[ae86gamer]

Commander Shepard: I just saved you from a nasty prison shower scene.

 

[Kiefer13]

Resident Evil. Need I say more?

This. Barry Burton is the master of the awkwardly delivered line.

 

[esperandote]

Some jRPG whose title i cant remember. Can't really remember the scene but this is more or less what appeared on screen

Guy : So I just stick this crystal into you?
Girl : Yes, please, go slow.
Guy : Okay.
Girl : Ouch!
Guy : Are you okay?
Girl : I'm fine. Its just so big!


...

What the heck was going through the writer's mind when he wrote this??
Also, if anyone knows where this came from, can you please tell me?

you're welcome

 

[DanielPowell33]

Just about any line from Two Worlds. Its just the 'way' they say things.

 

[Lilani]

"We may need you to play twing-twang."

 

[Ammadessi]

There were a boatload of awkward lines in the original Silent Hill. Not innuendo-awkward, just awkwardly delivered and written. I still cringe at "Radio? Huh...what's up with that radio?" It's just so stilted and badly delivered...

 

[FalloutJack]

And now for a more classic reference...

 

[lacktheknack]

From Prince of Persia 08 (it may not be exacly it

Elika: I see your looking for your girlfreind

Prince: Farah? No she's my donkey.


I mean that's a dick-slap to old timers like me

Same game:
"And stop looking at my ass!"

"I thought you lost your ass..."

"My... donkey..."

 

[lacktheknack]

The "HARHARHARHARHARHAR!!!!" scene from FFX anyone?

oh christ, i thought i';d blocked that out. it would've been better in japanese, probably.

mine would have to bee the whole necrophilia speech on oblivion- laughed my arse off, but walked out of the shop feeling a bit dirty...

I forgot that one...

 

[wizzerd229]

I remember there being a pokemon motivation picture where professor Oak says "I came when I heard you beat the Elite Four"
I know it's childish but I don't care xD

EDIT: Here it is

Spoiler: Professor Oaks awkward line

...wow

 

[AquillaValefor]

Does bad translation in a bad game count?

"That is a dangerous thing you have hanging there."

seven samurai, a game notable only for that quote.

 

[Immobile]

Metal gear Solid 3
Codec calls with Sigint.

Sigint - Snake, why are you naked?

Snake - Because it feels good.

Sigint - Yeah, you can select NAKED in CAMO. But it doesn't help your CAMO INDEX and you lose stamina faster when naked.

Snake - What about my pants?

Sigint - Say WHAT?!

Snake - My pants can I-

Sigint - Oh HELL no, this FOX unit is full of nuts!