Most awkward talk you've had with your parents.

[Video Gone]

This really happened on my 16th birthday:
My sister and my mom was in my room, when I was eating breakfast in bed. My sis was at my computer for once and opened my torrent client, seeing the porn I was downloading at the time.
She said something like "What's this?" with a vicious smile, and I was like "IT'S NOTHING" and my mother said "What? is it porn?"

After a moment of silence I said yes, and then she said "Thank god, Me and your father thought you might have been gay."

My sister almost laughed herself to death.

I must say, that is absolutely hilarious.
It also wins the Peppermint McThistletwaite Cringeworthy Award.

 

[Dok Zombie]

The bath in my parent's house takes ages to fill up, so when I lived at home I'd sometimes take a book or magazine into the bathroom while I waited for it to fill, but my glasses would always steam up. Reading without my glasses makes my pupils dilate slightly, so when I walked out to get a towel or whatever my mam embarked on a huge interrogation as to what drugs I was on.

The irony being I'd sat having conversations with both parents while stoned/on speed and neither had batted an eyelid. (Although I think my dad guessed, but didn't care).

 

[The Hairminator]

Any conversation that is not about my grades or behaviour with my dad is awkward.

"What did you do today" (Awkward)
"Who is she ?" (Awkward)
"Are you Studying ?" (Not awkward)
"Where are you going ?" (Awkward)
"Do you love her ?" (Way Awkward)

It's best to just say Hello and hand over the remote and just get out before any further socilization can occur.

Same situation. That's why I avoid talks with my father that doesn't revolve around practical things, like work, school, science or history. It just feels forced and really awkward.

 

[CowboyfromHell666]

My mom randomly asked me if I was having sex.
I was like...uh no(I didn't lie)
I should've said yes to she what would happen

 

[Abengoshis]

We've all been there, we're just talking about something casual with dear 'ol Momma and/or Daddy, then they slowly make the conversation go to a subject you'd rather just keep in the back of your mind. What was your awkward subject of awkwardly awkwardness?

For me it would have to be when my mom asked me if I had grown into my circumcision (No, I'm not Jewish) just a day after I learned I had one. Can you top that?

Er...how could you NOT know you were circumcised...I mean...the lack of foreskin is a big giveaway...

 

[Abengoshis]

When my Dad told me about sex with his GF. Or maybe when my Mom caught me making friends with my hand when I was 13. Idk, my whole family knows how to make awkward funny, so usually it turns into a joke.

That's cool. My family seem to know how to make anything funny awkward...


(Sorry for the double post).

 

[Triforceformer]

We've all been there, we're just talking about something casual with dear 'ol Momma and/or Daddy, then they slowly make the conversation go to a subject you'd rather just keep in the back of your mind. What was your awkward subject of awkwardly awkwardness?

For me it would have to be when my mom asked me if I had grown into my circumcision (No, I'm not Jewish) just a day after I learned I had one. Can you top that?

Er...how could you NOT know you were circumcised...I mean...the lack of foreskin is a big giveaway...

Well I wasn't exactly sure what a normal and circumcised penis looked like. No way in hell am I looking that up.

 

[Abengoshis]

We've all been there, we're just talking about something casual with dear 'ol Momma and/or Daddy, then they slowly make the conversation go to a subject you'd rather just keep in the back of your mind. What was your awkward subject of awkwardly awkwardness?

For me it would have to be when my mom asked me if I had grown into my circumcision (No, I'm not Jewish) just a day after I learned I had one. Can you top that?

Er...how could you NOT know you were circumcised...I mean...the lack of foreskin is a big giveaway...

Well I wasn't exactly sure what a normal and circumcised penis looked like. No way in hell am I looking that up.

Well didn't you learn what circumcision was by then? You could have thought "foreskin...what part of my penis is that? *checks* hmm...fore-skin...hmm...well there's surrounding skin but...hmm...no skin around the end..." etc. etc.

Lol sorry. :'(

 

[bobknowsall]

You know I was never given "The Talk" as screwed up as it sounds pornography taught me about sex not my parents. So there isn't really anything.

Since an awful lot of posters here are young men, you are probably not alone. But porn is still a pretty bad place to learn about sex, I must say.

OT: I've never had a stunningly awkward conversation with my parents, because they're usually pretty laid-back in their approach to things. Hell, even getting outed to them was pretty stress- and awkward-ness free.

 

[Proctorninja]

None insofar, but my brother told me about the time he walked in on my father watching porn in the living room. Allegedly, my father asked him," Wanna watch too?"

yeah that happened with me but i was watching porn, but not nearly my most awkward moment that would be trying to explain why me and this girl are hooking up while said girl has a bf

EDIT: i didnt ask him if he wanted to watch he just sat down and watched

 

[Lord Freya]

My girlfriend used to sneak over to my house at night pretty often and spend the night... (sidenote: this is the second girlfriend I had had sex with up until that point) and one night my mom caught her sleeping over (4th or 5th time?)... We were both completely naked, except she was wearing panties because she was on her period... and my mom tried to pull the sheets off of us and yelled at us... my girlfriend just laid there face down in my bed...

So after my mom gave up on pulling the covers off she demanded I come talk to her in the living room. Once I got dressed and went into the living room my mom had a 2 hour talk about sex and accusing me of having sex with my girlfriend in the house and asked when i lost my virginity... Everything was amazingly awkward and she wanted me to drive my girlfriend home at 4 in the morning when I had school at 8. But the worst part was getting caught, and accused of having sex WHILE my girlfriend was on her period...

 

[Disaster Button]

My mom saw me playing GTA SA online and one player has a stripper character, my mom said, "its okay if you like to see girls like that. you're getting older, but you should know how to act nice and not be bad." She went on to talk about how its normal to like women wearing provocative clothes while I'm shooting heads and driving, it sucked.

My mam seems to think anytime a woman is shown in a provocative position in any media it is me.. observing her. For instance, Meg from Family Guy was on TV and shown to be attractive and my mam happened to walk in. She looked at the TV then at me and said "are you perving on Meg?" Which doesn't even make sense. Needless to say there's quite a few awkward conversations that go on like that between my parents and me.

Any conversation that is not about my grades or behaviour with my dad is awkward.

"What did you do today" (Awkward)
"Who is she ?" (Awkward)
"Are you Studying ?" (Not awkward)
"Where are you going ?" (Awkward)
"Do you love her ?" (Way Awkward)

It's best to just say Hello and hand over the remote and just get out before any further socilization can occur.

I have the exact situation with my dad. It gets worse when he tries to do male bonding with me regarding conversations about masturbating, among other things. I just like to zone out when he gets like that and just nod whilst day dreaming about unicorns..

 

[Brain_Cleanser]

I had the coming out talk with my mom.
Made far less awkward by the fact she already knew and said she didn't care, and was just waiting for me to tell her.
Other than that I can't think of anything. I've never gotten "The Talk" since, you know, internet.

 

[slowpoke999]

After years of not knowing what job my dad has, my mum just said "Office job", I finally learn that he was basically running an illegal brothel in downtown Sydney, and spent 5 years in jail when I was younger because he sent hitmen to kill a guy(the guy didn't die).

Please tell me you guys have family members similar to mine?

 

[UberLemonBoy]

i have two
1 was when a girl at a girl at our school was caught giving a hand job in the school and they asked if i new what that was

2 was when a kid kept calling me gay and i got really mad. I came home and my mom asked what was wrong so i told my mom and dad and they took only me out to dinner while my brother was at his friends house and asked if i was gay (im not)

 

[Yoshemo]

me: "and then my ex did this"
mom: lol
me: "and then he..."
mom: "he?" o.o
me: "....fuck"

 

[KosherGreenBean]

My mom constantly asks me if I'm pregnant.
NO, I'm just not feeling well. Jeezus.

Then there was this one time she heard about teabagging from a TV show and asked me if I knew what that meant. I did. Then she made me explain it.

 

[SovietSecrets]

The day my mom caught me stoned. Man that was such a awkward conversation afterwards because all I wanted to do was eat and she wouldn't stop talking. Kept trying to get her to stop and it wasn't working.

 

[ultrachicken]

My dad walked in on me masturbating, laughed, and walked out of the room.
Not a conversation but it was the most awkward and humiliating moment of my life.