Most impractical JRPG weapon?

[THEMILKMAN]

Haven't played all that many jrpg, but I remember in Final Fantasy 6 there was a character who's weapon was a paintbrush. To be fair she was using it 'create' things, but still... a paintbrush? Really?

And in Final Fantasy 8 wasn't there a character who used an arm-mounted slingshot that could shoot a dog? It's particularly silly when you take into account almost everyone else is using guns....

Oh yeah, I forgot about Rinoa's "Dogzooka." LOL

 

[Sewblon]

Wakka's Blitsball. Pretty much anything else he could throw would work better. I actually liked FFX

 

[NeutralDrow]

Probably the buster sword, seeing as it's about as tall and heavy as I am. But what it lacks in practicality, it makes up for in sheer awesome.

Weird thing is, there are real, practical swords that size...they just weigh a much more realistic four or five pounds, which is about as big as a sword can get before getting smacked by the "weight versus velocity" diminishing returns.

 

[fletch_talon]

I'm going with Eternal Sonata here.

It's a god damn umbrella for christs sake. How can you kill a giant demon with an umbrella!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZcEaDDh-ig

6:20 watch and learn... Though I spose it was technically a team effort in the end.

And why are we focussing on just JRPGs, why not RPGs in general. I happen to consider a frying pan (Fable) a silly weapon, though I suppose not as impractical as some weapons out there.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I'm going with Eternal Sonata here.

It's a god damn umbrella for christs sake. How can you kill a giant demon with an umbrella!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZcEaDDh-ig

6:20 watch and learn... Though I spose it was technically a team effort in the end.

And why are we focussing on just JRPGs, why not RPGs in general. I happen to consider a frying pan (Fable) a silly weapon, though I suppose not as impractical as some weapons out there.

OH SNAP!

...Why wouldn't they let me do that in Eternal Sonata?

 

[RadicalDreamer90]

Examples: Buster Sword, Gunblade, Keyblade, Brotherhood (FFX's bubbly sword). And any other odd weapons from any JRPG, not just ones made by Square.

I gotta go with Sephiroth's sword, any sword that thin and long could never be swung right. Everytime one would swing it it would wobble through the air like a MFer.

Ok. time for fanboy education: The buster sword wasn't ridiculous in VII. It has steadily gotten larger in subsequent things. And it's awesome.
Gunblade as it appears in 8 is dumb. Subsequent reimaginings (a pistol with a sword on) are heavily practical. If you don't believe me, ask any Cervantes player.
The keyblade is magical, and used to attack magical beings. Practicality can and should be ignored. If it bothers you that much, replace it with a claymore in your mind.
Brotherhood is only impractical because of the way Tidus holds it. Hook end may not be the best idea for a quick hitter, Tidus.
The Masa is made of metals not found in our universe, and made in such a manner as to prevent said wobbling.

Now, as for my choice, the Oversized Sword is a strong contender, but I'm gonna give this one to the Submachine gunkatanas Weiss the Imacculate uses in Dirge of Cerberus. Shit makes no sense.

On his Comment-
The Gunblade is alot more practical then clouds buster sword -.-. The Gunblade is at least proportioned right as far as how fast squall swung. Clouds buster blade is practical only because cloud is super human so having somewhat abnormal strength is acceptable. (For those who haven't played FF7 or for those who played and didn't pay attention, Cloud was fused with Mako (life energy) while in Soldier so yes he and sephy have reason for godlike strength). The same can be said of Sephiroth, I mean he's got Alien cells and Mako in his body, it's excuse enough for it to work, and if you've ever held Sephy's sword in RL, with godlike strength you would make that sword exceptionally dangerous because of length, and the sword isn't all that thin btw.

On Subject-
Though alot of people shouted out FF weapons that prob don't sound practical but as long as theres magical backing and Square at least cited how it would work it's fine. For mine however I'd go for Rinoa's Cardinal in FF8 and Wakka's Blitzball in FFX. It never explains how it works well enough to hurt some overgrown creature, and though it seems like the Japanese style of a boomerang blade type thingy mc-thing, and an ordinary playing ball, I'm pretty sure neither weapon is all that powerful, nor is it explained that those characters had abnormalities that would make them wield them better. If you have a ridiculously large sword, but have super strength it kind of fits, when your tossing a beach ball and your ordinarily human taking on freakishly large fiends then you kind of over stepped your line.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I'm going with Eternal Sonata here.

It's a god damn umbrella for christs sake. How can you kill a giant demon with an umbrella!?

Unless it's like the umbrella in Wild Arms 2, whereby it would increase Magic Strength to make Lilka the natural magic user. Or Aerith's that had no Materia Slots but much higher physical offense than any weapon you have, at that time.

OP: I like all JRPG weapons, Great and Small. From the random book to the giant fish.

Most Umbrellas in Eternal Sonata are only for punching things in the face. Some of them have magic attributes, but most of them are just for punching stuff. Punchpunchpunchpunchpunchpunch.

Do you think I could beat Satan to death if I had a good looking umbrella?

Yes, because the devil is always in the details. *Bah-dum-tish!

But seriously, they are. You might be able to find a way to beat the devil with an umbrella, if you tried hard enough.

I'm not sure if I have the strength to go find an Umbrella. I'm pretty lazy.

I mean, it's not like umbrellas can raise the dead from the grave.

Spoiler: oh wait..

 

[SomeBoredGuy]

Wakka's ball in Final Fantasy X. I freaking love that game and I'm actually replaying it (hopefull this time I'll get past that Seymour boss when I get to it and actually finish the game), but I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me how the hell you can kill anything by throwing a ball at it. If it was a particularly big and heavy ball I guess you could give them concussion, but that's still dodging the main problem that throwing a ball at something does almost as much damage as slashing it's face in half with a sword.

 

[The Madman]

Weird thing is, there are real, practical swords that size...they just weigh a much more realistic four or five pounds, which is about as big as a sword can get before getting smacked by the "weight versus velocity" diminishing returns.

You mean the 'Zweihander'. Those swords are so big there's debate about whether they were really used or just made for show.

I find it funny that doing an image search for the sword brings up just as many game screenshots, a good number from jrpg and the like, as it does actual pictures. Anyway, wikipedia eventually provided a decent picture:

Spoiler

 

[Deleted]

I'd have to go with the following:

Spoiler: Ridiculously huge buster sword

Isn't she a lesbian? Or did I get my Final Fantasy fashion models mixed up?

OP I would say an umbrella, used by Polka from Eternal Sonata.

EDIT seems a lot of people agree haha.

 

[NeutralDrow]

Weird thing is, there are real, practical swords that size...they just weigh a much more realistic four or five pounds, which is about as big as a sword can get before getting smacked by the "weight versus velocity" diminishing returns.

You mean the 'Zweihander'. Those swords are so big there's debate about whether they were really used or just made for show.

Actually, I was thinking claymores, but those work, too. Four feet long and five pounds isn't out of the question for a usable sword.

I find it funny that doing an image search for the sword brings up just as many game screenshots, a good number from jrpg and the like, as it does actual pictures. Anyway, wikipedia eventually provided a decent picture:

Spoiler

Yeah, there's one of those in the Tower of London, too. Clearly impractical.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Goofy's shield from KH. How did he get the idea to use a shield when you've got perfectly good swords lying around?

Actually a shield can make a pretty effective weapon, I know there's a few other heroes that'd agree with that.

 

[ultrachicken]

Goofy's shield from KH. How did he get the idea to use a shield when you've got perfectly good swords lying around?

Actually a shield can make a pretty effective weapon, I know there's a few other heroes that'd agree with that.

Not if you're throwing it around like a frisbee. Also, goofy's shield is the size of a plate, which can't effectively block anything.

 

[NeutralDrow]

I keep seeing people bash umbrellas as a weapon. Granted, I've never played Eternal Sonata, but I would think Ryouga and Shizumaru might want a word with y'all.

Spoiler: Ryouga

Explanation: thing weighs a ton. It's basically a gigantic, umbrella-shaped club.

Spoiler: Shizumaru

Weighs more than it looks, and has sharpened, metal-lined edges. Granted, he also has a sword...

 

[The Madman]

Weird thing is, there are real, practical swords that size...they just weigh a much more realistic four or five pounds, which is about as big as a sword can get before getting smacked by the "weight versus velocity" diminishing returns.

You mean the 'Zweihander'. Those swords are so big there's debate about whether they were really used or just made for show.

Actually, I was thinking claymores, but those work, too. Four feet long and five pounds isn't out of the question for a usable sword.

I find it funny that doing an image search for the sword brings up just as many game screenshots, a good number from jrpg and the like, as it does actual pictures. Anyway, wikipedia eventually provided a decent picture:

Spoiler

Yeah, there's one of those in the Tower of London, too. Clearly impractical.

Claymore were pretty damn big, but in general were still 'realistic' in size. Meanwhile reading the specifications and story about the Zweihander sounds like something out of a video-game.

Perhaps the best known user of a Zweihänder was Pier Gerlofs Donia who is reputed to have wielded it with such skill, strength, and efficiency that he managed to behead multiple people with it in a single blow. The Zweihänder ascribed to him is, as of 2008, on display in the Frisian museum. It has a length of 213 cm (84 in) and a weight of about 6.6 kg (14½ lb)
-Wikipedia

Holy Shit! Sephiroth, eat your heart out!

 

[NeutralDrow]

Weird thing is, there are real, practical swords that size...they just weigh a much more realistic four or five pounds, which is about as big as a sword can get before getting smacked by the "weight versus velocity" diminishing returns.

You mean the 'Zweihander'. Those swords are so big there's debate about whether they were really used or just made for show.

Actually, I was thinking claymores, but those work, too. Four feet long and five pounds isn't out of the question for a usable sword.

I find it funny that doing an image search for the sword brings up just as many game screenshots, a good number from jrpg and the like, as it does actual pictures. Anyway, wikipedia eventually provided a decent picture:

Spoiler

Yeah, there's one of those in the Tower of London, too. Clearly impractical.

Claymore were pretty damn big, but in general were still 'realistic' in size. Meanwhile reading the specifications and story about the Zweihander sounds like something out of a video-game.

Perhaps the best known user of a Zweihänder was Pier Gerlofs Donia who is reputed to have wielded it with such skill, strength, and efficiency that he managed to behead multiple people with it in a single blow. The Zweihänder ascribed to him is, as of 2008, on display in the Frisian museum. It has a length of 213 cm (84 in) and a weight of about 6.6 kg (14½ lb)
-Wikipedia

Holy Shit! Sephiroth, eat your heart out!

Yeah...unless that guy was a goddamn giant, there's no way that'd be a practical weapon. And if he was a giant, he'd still have gotten far more use out of a smaller sword. The equation for kinetic energy (Ek=1/2*m*v-squared) may have only been discovered after Newton, but swordsmiths figured out long ago that, at a certain point, the speed of the swing pays off more than the heaviness of the blade.

 

[xXxTheBeastxXx]

Goofy's shield from KH. How did he get the idea to use a shield when you've got perfectly good swords lying around?

Anyone who watched the action scenes from 300 can tell you that a shield is a perfectly reasonable weapon.

On Topic, though: In Tales of Vesperia, Rita uses scrolls and ribbons as weapons (she may get a whip at some point, but the majority are silly). That's right, give the giant monsters paper-cuts and tickle them. That'll work. At least the girl with the paintbrush in FF6 could, in practical use, gouge out somebody's eye with the damn thing.

However, the ***** has all the magical power of a supernova, so that makes up for the lack in efficient weaponry.

 

[zana bonanza]

The World Ends with You had some weird ones. While the main character has nifty pins that give him magical powers or whatever you wanna call it, one of his friends fights with a stuffed cat (similar to Lulu's dolls) and another one uses his skateboard. (And he's not swinging it at the monsters, he's actually riding it and kick flipping into their heads or something.)

 

[asinann]

The only problem with Sephiroth's sword is that the hilt is too short for what it really is: a nodachi, primary use was anti-horse.

And screw rpg impractical weapons, let's try some REAL impractical weapons: like the Davey Crockett.

http://regretfulmorning.com/2009/05/5-incredibly-impractical-military-weapons-actually-used/

 

[Gauntes]

A dog

or rather a wrist launcher that shoots dogs...