Most impractical JRPG weapon?

[Doug]

That crossbow thing in Chronotrigger. I mean, a crossbow along side a friggin' laser cannon thing!

 

[Sakurazaki1023]

Although some of the joke weapons in the Tales Of games could count, the worst offender has to be Lunar: Dragon Song.

Not only was the game itself pretty shitty, your main character used shoes as a weapon (by jumping on top of and stepping on his enemy Mario style) and the female staff chick uses normal umbrellas to beat monsters with. Seeing as many boss fights ended with you defeating a giant dragon with normal footwear (most weren't even spiked) and umbrellas...

Example (real in game description)

Bloody Shoes - Enveloped in a black aura, slightly scary shoes

Umbrella - A cute little umbrella, with frills and everything!

 

[Leodiensian]

I always found Lulu's choice of weapons in FFX to be.. weird. I mean, I get why you might find it useful to have something else fight for you, but then why does HER strength affect ITS damage?

Outside of JRPG's, Bayonetta. She has gun shoes. Gun. Shoes.

GUNSHOESWHAT

How does she even pull the triggers?

Spoiler

MAGIC IS NOT AN ANSWER SHUT UP

 

[drisky]

Books,quills,straws the Tales of series is full of them.

And stuff like gunblades, you would shatter your wrist trying to fire one of those.

you forgot scarfs and toys

Spoiler

Spoiler

The World Ends With You has some wired ones too like a stuffed cat that claws your face or a magic cell phone, (or really its more silly than impactical)

 

[GoWithDAFro]

Kingdom Hearts has plenty. Aside from the keyblade, there's a book, guitar, and cards all used as weapons. Not to mention the buster sword gunblade and Tifa's fists are all there too.

 

[Cerrax]

Outside of JRPG's, Bayonetta. She has gun shoes. Gun. Shoes.

GUNSHOESWHAT

How does she even pull the triggers?

Spoiler

MAGIC IS NOT AN ANSWER SHUT UP

It's a mechanism attached from her knee to her heel, when she quickly extends her leg (such as in a kick), the trigger is pulled.

But all the people complaining about Wakka's ball, have you ever thought about how heavy a blitzball is? For it to stay stationary in water instead of floating to the top, it must have some weight to it. And with an athlete like Wakka, a fairly heavy object with enough force behind it can have deadly results (like a medicine ball)

 

[Leodiensian]

Outside of JRPG's, Bayonetta. She has gun shoes. Gun. Shoes.

GUNSHOESWHAT

How does she even pull the triggers?

Spoiler

MAGIC IS NOT AN ANSWER SHUT UP

It's a mechanism attached to her heel, when she quickly extends her leg (such as in a kick), the trigger is pulled.

But all the people complaining about Wakka's ball, have you ever thought about how heavy a blitzball is? For it to stay stationary in water instead of floating to the top, it must have some weight to it. And with an athlete like Wakka, a fairly heavy object with enough force behind it can have deadly results (like a medicine ball)

Then why doesn't it fire when Bayonetta jumps or runs?

The Blitzball need not be heavy; the fact that it stays stationary in the water means it has neutral buoyancy built in to it, which is quite tricky to achieve for a diver, never mind an artificial object. That implies it's quite a precisely designed piece of gear that he shouldn't really be using as a blunt instrument.

But yeah, even a baseball would be pretty dangerous thrown by a professional athlete.

 

[Doug]

I always found Lulu's choice of weapons in FFX to be.. weird. I mean, I get why you might find it useful to have something else fight for you, but then why does HER strength affect ITS damage?

Outside of JRPG's, Bayonetta. She has gun shoes. Gun. Shoes.

GUNSHOESWHAT

How does she even pull the triggers?

Spoiler

MAGIC IS NOT AN ANSWER SHUT UP

Erm...LASERS!

*hides*

Though yeah, I'm not a fan of the absurd weapon designs in most J- games. I mean, I don't expect ultra accurate weapons that don't use any imagination, but its beyond the pale to see a kid with a sword that is several times bigger than him wielding it as if it where a foam toy.

And the Bayonetta gun shoes thing...*eye twitch* The less said the better.

 

[Doug]

technically not a jrpg, but i had to include it.

Spoiler

lol, as if someone that skinny could life those XD

bleach is pretty ridiculus, so there might be someone with an ever bigger weapon than that (no pun intended)

....WTF?! Ok, the ones in his hands are ridiculous, but the thing on his back is just taking the piss.

 

[Cerrax]

Outside of JRPG's, Bayonetta. She has gun shoes. Gun. Shoes.

GUNSHOESWHAT

How does she even pull the triggers?

Spoiler

MAGIC IS NOT AN ANSWER SHUT UP

It's a mechanism attached to her heel, when she quickly extends her leg (such as in a kick), the trigger is pulled.

But all the people complaining about Wakka's ball, have you ever thought about how heavy a blitzball is? For it to stay stationary in water instead of floating to the top, it must have some weight to it. And with an athlete like Wakka, a fairly heavy object with enough force behind it can have deadly results (like a medicine ball)

Then why doesn't it fire when Bayonetta jumps or runs?

It requires a certain amount of force to pull the trigger. When you kick, you're using more than just your leg muscles, you're also using your weight which gives the kick extra velocity and puts more pressure on the trigger than simply extending your leg like jumping or running would. It's kind of like a whip. If you swing it with just your arm you won't be able to crack it as hard as if you put your weight into it.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

I say any of the toy weapons from Tales of Symphonia.

Like Frisbee's for Colette XD

 

[Leodiensian]

Then why doesn't it fire when Bayonetta jumps or runs?

It requires a certain amount of force to pull the trigger. When you kick, you're using more than just your leg muscles, you're also using your weight which gives the kick extra velocity and puts more pressure on the trigger than simply extending your leg like jumping or running would. It's kind of like a whip. If you swing it with just your arm you won't be able to crack it as hard as if you put your weight into it.

Then why does it KEEP firing when her leg is already extended?

 

[Zeromaeus]

Hmm...
This is hard if you take it in the context of the games they're in.
For instance,Cloud can easily lift his sword because he had mako injected into his body.
Sephiroth could lift and swing his sword because he had mako and Jenova cells injected into him, although the sword still had to be made of adamantium to not break if Cloud ever hit it...
The gunblade didn't actually shoot bullets, it focused his magic...
The joke weapons are the only ones that wouldn't work even in context...

Out of context...
Well...
Take a FF game...
Take half the weapons at random...
Chances are they wouldn't work.

 

[Xanadu84]

Your fists, why? ther are swords and guns a plenty everywhere, you have enough weapons to supply an entire army, yet no, your going to punch them in the face.

You know what? I think you just might have it here. Plenty of weapons are impractical, but at least they are weapons. They generally are pointy, heavy, or projectile-y, and provide an advantage, especially against armor of some sort. But completely unarmed is just impractical. I tip my hat to you.

Self-defeating. You admit that fists are not weapons, and the thread is about the most impractical WEAPONS.

Only self defeating to extreme nit-pickers However, I can out nit-pick you, and point out those unarmed attacks which are various sorts of gloves.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Goofy's shield from KH. How did he get the idea to use a shield when you've got perfectly good swords lying around?

Actually a shield can make a pretty effective weapon, I know there's a few other heroes that'd agree with that.

I wouldn't say that to Captain *grimace* America.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

technically not a jrpg, but i had to include it.

lol, as if someone that skinny could life those XD

bleach is pretty ridiculus, so there might be someone with an ever bigger weapon than that (no pun intended)

....WTF?! Ok, the ones in his hands are ridiculous, but the thing on his back is just taking the piss.

Apparently the one on his back is magically held, thus not by him directly. Bleach has a slew of impractical weapons once they unleash Shikai and especially Bankai, the latter of which frequently breaks any logical sense of balance. Example?

Oh it gets better, she can only use it once every three days without inflicting severe damage upon herself.

 

[VanityGirl]

Any buster sword in general.
Do you realize that a sword that's twice the length of your body is highly impractical?
Let's be honest, swinging around a 100lb sword would be stupid.

 

[end_boss]

Your fists, why? ther are swords and guns a plenty everywhere, you have enough weapons to supply an entire army, yet no, your going to punch them in the face.

You know what? I think you just might have it here. Plenty of weapons are impractical, but at least they are weapons. They generally are pointy, heavy, or projectile-y, and provide an advantage, especially against armor of some sort. But completely unarmed is just impractical. I tip my hat to you.

Self-defeating. You admit that fists are not weapons, and the thread is about the most impractical WEAPONS.

Only self defeating to extreme nit-pickers However, I can out nit-pick you, and point out those unarmed attacks which are various sorts of gloves.

But it's not extreme nit-picking, is it? It's called "the point of this thread."

Ok, go ahead. At least name me some games where gloves are weapons that you can equip (rather than armour) that have no special powers or attachments or enchantments. Not saying there aren't any, I'm just saying that from what I've personally encountered, gloves are usually either armour which maybe could give an attack bonus rather than actually be regarded as an actual weapon, or they are combat-enhanced with spikes, blades, or charges.

 

[THEMILKMAN]

Hmm...
This is hard if you take it in the context of the games they're in.
For instance,Cloud can easily lift his sword because he had mako injected into his body.
Sephiroth could lift and swing his sword because he had mako and Jenova cells injected into him, although the sword still had to be made of adamantium to not break if Cloud ever hit it...
The gunblade didn't actually shoot bullets, it focused his magic...
The joke weapons are the only ones that wouldn't work even in context...

Out of context...
Well...
Take a FF game...
Take half the weapons at random...
Chances are they wouldn't work.

But if you ever played Crisis Core, Zack and Angeal both used the Buster Sword before Cloud and neither was infused with Mako, well Zack was later on but way after getting the Buster Sword.