Most impractical JRPG weapon?

[Zeromaeus]

Hmm...
This is hard if you take it in the context of the games they're in.
For instance,Cloud can easily lift his sword because he had mako injected into his body.
Sephiroth could lift and swing his sword because he had mako and Jenova cells injected into him, although the sword still had to be made of adamantium to not break if Cloud ever hit it...
The gunblade didn't actually shoot bullets, it focused his magic...
The joke weapons are the only ones that wouldn't work even in context...

Out of context...
Well...
Take a FF game...
Take half the weapons at random...
Chances are they wouldn't work.

But if you ever played Crisis Core, Zack and Angeal both used the Buster Sword before Cloud and neither was infused with Mako, well Zack was later on but way after getting the Buster Sword.

I didn't know. I don't have a PSP or know someone who does.
...
Their level was high enough?

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Hmm...
This is hard if you take it in the context of the games they're in.
For instance,Cloud can easily lift his sword because he had mako injected into his body.
Sephiroth could lift and swing his sword because he had mako and Jenova cells injected into him, although the sword still had to be made of adamantium to not break if Cloud ever hit it...
The gunblade didn't actually shoot bullets, it focused his magic...
The joke weapons are the only ones that wouldn't work even in context...

Out of context...
Well...
Take a FF game...
Take half the weapons at random...
Chances are they wouldn't work.

But if you ever played Crisis Core, Zack and Angeal both used the Buster Sword before Cloud and neither was infused with Mako, well Zack was later on but way after getting the Buster Sword.

Both have been exposed to high volumes of Mako, in addition Angeal has Jenova cells injected into him, thus he is as powerful potentially as Sephiroth.

 

[dreadedcandiru99]

Whatever that thing is that Vanille uses in Final Fantasy XIII. Like...a deer antler...that's also a fishing rod...that shoots four wires with hooks on the ends at the same time, apparently without ever getting tangled up and stuff. I dunno, maybe it's magic or something--whatever it is, it almost makes Rinoa's wrist-mounted dog-launcher look practi...um...wait, no. No it doesn't. Never mind.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

I'd like to put forth Leena's Wooden Spoon in Chrono Cross.

 

[Sylveria]

The giant frozen swordfish that Joachim uses in Shadow Hearts 2. Or really damn near any weapon he uses.. There's also some weirdo in SH3 who uses like a giant sushi kabob as his "ultimate" weapon"

 

[Jiggabyte]

Spoiler: Lulu's dolls, in Final Fantasy X

I know they're used sort of like "voodoo dolls" (as in, an instrument to channel energy) but I distinctly remember one of her attacks (I think standard "Attack" command) is where she sends it to give the enemy a weedy, stuffed-animal bop before waddling back to nestle back... yeah.
This picture reminds me of Tetsuya Nomura's impractical character designs. I think that deserves it's own thread.

 

[Nicarus]

One weapon comes to mind, and that's Frank's final weapon from Shadow Hearts: From the New World. It's a freakin' shish-kebob with a katana handle!

 

[end_boss]

Kingdom Hearts has plenty. Aside from the keyblade, there's a book, guitar

Have you learned nothing from Honky Tonk Man and Jeff Jarrett? LOL

 

[REAPER5594]

are we just talking weird, or truly impractical. 'cause if weird is what you want, then I have to go with the Gae Bolg from The Last Remnant. for impractical (in real life) I gotta say the vigoorian flails from Ninja Gaiden(2).

 

[Seef]

Huge-ass swords. Need I say more?

 

[duchaked]

The kendama. Favored by Oichi of Samurai Warriors and Genis of Tales of Symphonia.

Spoiler: Kendama

I gotta go with Sephiroth's sword, any sword that thin and long could never be swung right. Everytime one would swing it it would wobble through the air like a MFer.

Spoiler: Ahem.

The only really unrealistic things about his sword are that it's about a foot too long (and too long a blade for too short a grip) and he's using it on foot.

wasn't the sword Sephiroth used actually meant to be used on horseback? not sure, but I think I read that somewhere, but hmm it's interesting to think about it that way

 

[Jiggabyte]

Kingdom Hearts has plenty. Aside from the keyblade, there's a book, guitar

Have you learned nothing from Honky Tonk Man and Jeff Jarrett? LOL

In Gitaroo Man every weapon is an instrument... that shoots lasers when played well. And it is good.
More of a concern are the people who end up wielding them. Mojo King Bee, Gregorio III... *shudder*

 

[Break]

Outside of JRPG's, Bayonetta. She has gun shoes. Gun. Shoes.

GUNSHOESWHAT

How does she even pull the triggers?

Spoiler

MAGIC IS NOT AN ANSWER SHUT UP

It's a mechanism attached to her heel, when she quickly extends her leg (such as in a kick), the trigger is pulled.

But all the people complaining about Wakka's ball, have you ever thought about how heavy a blitzball is? For it to stay stationary in water instead of floating to the top, it must have some weight to it. And with an athlete like Wakka, a fairly heavy object with enough force behind it can have deadly results (like a medicine ball)

Then why doesn't it fire when Bayonetta jumps or runs?

It requires a certain amount of force to pull the trigger. When you kick, you're using more than just your leg muscles, you're also using your weight which gives the kick extra velocity and puts more pressure on the trigger than simply extending your leg like jumping or running would. It's kind of like a whip. If you swing it with just your arm you won't be able to crack it as hard as if you put your weight into it.

You'd have thought it would have been easier to just say she uses a strand of magic hair to pull the trigger. I'm surprised the developers put so much effort into thinking about such an intricate mechanism, when such a straightforward, easy handwave was available.

 

[Twad]

The most impracticle sword out there goes to the Buster Sword by far. As it is described as being a blunt weapon!!! What kinda sword is used as blunt? The only one I can think of is a jitte but that is a defense sword if I remember properly.

Going from memory here, but IIRC, in the middle ages when the armor technology got good enough (where the average knight was a walking tank).. it was pointless to try and pierce/slash them with a sword so they had to use heavier blunt blades to smash at the knight and create that "shockwave" that can hurt you a lot, even with armor.
..Then guns entered the battlefield.

 

[Twad]

oh, and on topic; The majority of JRPGs have over-the-top weapons that dont make sense.. its the rule of cool (or rule of over-compensating for something?) that prevails in games, common sense and physics be damned.

 

[LeonLethality]

Ok. time for fanboy education: The buster sword wasn't ridiculous in VII. It has steadily gotten larger in subsequent things. And it's awesome.

Take a look at the FF7 artwork of cloud

Spoiler

That thing is still fucking huge in 7 and horribly unwieldy. face it it is a ridiculous and useless weapon.

OT: Anyone remember what bards in FF use to attack? yeah music...

 

[DustyDrB]

Gigantic boobs.

... What? Somebody had to say it.

No, this is the JRPG genre's most redeeming quality.

 

[NeutralDrow]

I gotta go with Sephiroth's sword, any sword that thin and long could never be swung right. Everytime one would swing it it would wobble through the air like a MFer.

Spoiler: Ahem.

The only really unrealistic things about his sword are that it's about a foot too long (and too long a blade for too short a grip) and he's using it on foot.

wasn't the sword Sephiroth used actually meant to be used on horseback? not sure, but I think I read that somewhere, but hmm it's interesting to think about it that way

Yes. That was my point. He's wielding a semi-realistic sword (still got slightly too long a blade and too short a handle), but in an unrealistic way.

The most impracticle sword out there goes to the Buster Sword by far. As it is described as being a blunt weapon!!! What kinda sword is used as blunt? The only one I can think of is a jitte but that is a defense sword if I remember properly.

The Buster Sword is blunt?

...well, hell, that kind of excuses it. Makes it more of a gigantic mace than anything, which means it's more practical against armor and means it doesn't have to hold an edge. If I swung a blunted greatsword against something relatively soft (like iron or flesh), I could still cut through it.

It would still make more sense as a six-pound sword, though, which would again mean that the handle is too small. And even when it's balanced right, it would still probably hit more with its own weight than the wielder's strength...

 

[Anticitizen_Two]

Your fists, why? ther are swords and guns a plenty everywhere, you have enough weapons to supply an entire army, yet no, your going to punch them in the face.

Ayla from Chrono Trigger wishes to have a word with you.

I'd have to go with yo-yos from Mother 2: Earthbound.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

Ok. time for fanboy education: The buster sword wasn't ridiculous in VII. It has steadily gotten larger in subsequent things. And it's awesome.

Take a look at the FF7 artwork of cloud

Spoiler

That thing is still fucking huge in 7 and horribly unwieldy. face it it is a ridiculous and useless weapon.

OT: Anyone remember what bards in FF use to attack? yeah music...

not really... it's just a zweihander with a single edge. And i've held a solid steel replica of the buster (all five feet long, two inches thick, and abouta foot wide). I's not that bad, man. Too heavy for ME to use effectively, but anyone with the sufficient amount of strength and stamina easily could.

The same guy also had a Dragonslayer. I envy him his glorious wealth