Most inappropriate thing you saw as a kid

[bartholen_v1legacy]

After watching Nostalgia Chick's review of Freddy Got Fingered [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240515/?ref_=nv_sr_4] this popped up on my mind. I saw an extremely graphic and un-child-friendly scene from it as a kid. It's the part where a woman starts giving birth, Freddy proceeds to bite out the umbilical chord and then spin the baby around like a flail, spraying everything with blood. And I was like 9 years old!

You can look it up on youtube if you want to for some reason, I'm not going to link it here. The scene was permanently burnt to my memory, but not as something horrifying, but rather bizarre. Since it's played for laughs (albeit very cheap and poor ones) as much as for shock value, I always thought about it more as "Dafuq did I just watch?" than "EORROEOORghghh, dafuq did I just watch?" It was just so strange. But I always knew it was something I wasn't meant to see.

What similar experiences do you have, whether accidental or not? Caught Aliens on late night tv? Toxic Avenger? Robocop? Caught your parents bonkin... okay, let's not go there. Just throwing these out here.

 

[EeveeElectro]

People used to leave mucky magazines in an abandoned house opposite my primary school.
I didn't realise this until I picked one up because it had an advert for something (can't remember what) and I remember thinking mum would like it, so I took it home and gave it to her and she was like "wtf?"
I didn't realise there was boobies on the other pages. v_v

 

[Kenbo Slice]

After watching Nostalgia Chick's review of Freddy Got Fingered [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240515/?ref_=nv_sr_4] this popped up on my mind. I saw an extremely graphic and un-child-friendly scene from it as a kid. It's the part where a woman starts giving birth, Freddy proceeds to bite out the umbilical chord and then spin the baby around like a flail, spraying everything with blood. And I was like 9 years old!

You can look it up on youtube if you want to for some reason, I'm not going to link it here. The scene was permanently burnt to my memory, but not as something horrifying, but rather bizarre. Since it's played for laughs (albeit very cheap and poor ones) as much as for shock value, I always thought about it more as "Dafuq did I just watch?" than "EORROEOORghghh, dafuq did I just watch?" It was just so strange. But I always knew it was something I wasn't meant to see.

What similar experiences do you have, whether accidental or not? Caught Aliens on late night tv? Toxic Avenger? Robocop? Caught your parents bonkin... okay, let's not go there. Just throwing these out here.

I thought that scene was absolutely hilarious and bizarre. I barely saw the film a few years ago, probably when I was about 19. I was nearly in tears from that scene. I guess I'm a horrible person.

OT: I never had any experiences like that, the most violent things I was allowed to watch were Jackie Chan movies growing up. So, I've got nothing.

 

[ShinyCharizard]

A 70 year old woman showering herself outside stark naked with a garden hose. That will haunt me forevermore.

 

[Wraith]

Porn. As young as 5 I was watching pornography, either sneaking a few tapes from my cousins room or looking at a few magazines with friends as we giggled at women's "non-no place".

 

[Frezzato]

When I was in the 4th grade we had some police officers come to school and talk about cop stuff. This was well before drug education and that sort of thing. It was a guy and woman, and the guy quickly runs out of things to say. Improvising, he asks the class if anybody would like to handle his gun. "Whoops, maybe I should unload it first," he muses, quickly stepping outside to unload his revolver. Then he gets desperate and decides to tell us about how he can arrest someone who is being a jerk but isn't necessarily breaking the law. He demonstrates that he can casually walk up to the jerk's face and very discreetly step on his toes. If the guy pushes the cop away, he'll be arrested for assaulting a police officer.

Now, I appreciate the cops and all ('Murica), but I later formulated my own terminology for that sort of behavior; 'soft corruption' if you will. It's tricks like that, plus selective enforcement of the law, that makes me wary of ever running into cops in general. Pretty inappropriate for a class full of 8-9 year old kids.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I caught my dad watching porn.

He tried to change the tab, but wasn't quite quick enough. He thinks I didn't see, but I did...

 

[an annoyed writer]

Uh, as young as age 3, I'd bore witness to gang violence. I lived in the deep city until I was 5 or so, so for those couple years I spent in the city I saw several fights break out and lots of cops come in later. My parents tried to block it out, but it wasn't enough for me to not know it existed.

 

[Protocol95]

When I was about 4 or 5 I was on a vacation with my family. Since they were all going to sleep and I was still full of energy and bored they told me to just watch television for a while. When they eventually woke up they noticed I was watching Austin Powers.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

The first season of family guy I remember watching in the second grade. I vividly remember watching the episode where Peter was insecure about having a smaller penis then his son Chris.

The fucked up thing was that we watched Family Guy when it aired back then as a family. Me, my mother, my sister. When it came out on DVD I was shocked, Why did my mom let me watch it?

The reason she gave was that she thought I wouldn't understand the humor. I suppose shes right because I didn't.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Probably the worst I ever engaged in was watching movies I wasn't allowed to. Primarily "Commando" starring Arnold Schwarzenegger (the uncensored VHS, not the pussified DVD re-release).

 

[Sellon88]

when I was 6 I played a flash game reenacting the Virginia tech massacre with you in the driver's seat. and no i'm not a insane killer because of it. I prove Fox wrong.

 

[kurokotetsu]

I'm sure that I saw a corpse when I was 3 or 4 years old. Our apartment building was rather tall and a vacant lot was visible. I know that a dead man was found on that lot when I had that age and I recall the police and a red stain visible from above, but my memories are not reliable (no ones are) so I might've added details that I didn't actually see.

My parent were wuite permessive too, so I weatched Aliens and Henry V since quite young, as well as otehr things with adult themes. But I'm guessing corpse is nowdays considered more traumatizing.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

In 3rd grade, I got into Anime...around this time, toonami was starting to show Dragon Ball Z and, Cartoon Network was showing Sailor Moon, meanwhile WB had Pokemon. The anime I watched though was in my friend's basement; movies like Ninja Scroll (with a rock-man who drank blood from severed arms), Vampire Hunter D (Wherein a psychic vampire smashes an assailant against multiple walls with bloody consequences) and, Fist of the North Star. At this point, I'm in third grade so I'm already a bit far from innocent when it comes to what I know of and have seen but those movies are a far cry from Batman Returns...which I saw in theaters as a toddler...heh.

 

[Signa]

I stumbled upon a disk containing Stroker for the Commodore 64. I was probably 8 or so, and had no idea what I was seeing or what the objective was.

Spoiler: totally not work safe

http://girls.c64.org/a__stroker.php

I thought it was a surgery game, and I was trying to move the knife back and forth, but was fumbling constantly (back and forth man, not up and down!). The face in the corner obviously had to be a patient pain indicator...

 

[NoeL]

There was a show on TV called Eat Carpet (later renamed Shorts on Screen) that was a collection of foreign short films. I used to stay up late and watch it because there would often be nudity. There was one from either Canada or USA called Crackerjack [http://www.filmfestivalrotterdam.com/en/films/crackerjack/] (that page is the most info I could find about it online), and it was about a sailor pulling into port for the night.

Spoiler: Spolier for graphic plot synopsis

While at sea, the sailor had been exchanging letters or something with a girl at a town he was scheduled to stop in at. The plan was to meet up, have some happy fun sexy times, then he'll ship out again in the morning.

He lands in port and tries to call the girl but never manages to get through. The night is getting ever shorter and his prospects of meeting up with this woman are looking slim, so he eventually decides to do his own thing. I can't remember which event came first, but there were two things that really disturbed me:

1) He goes to check out a peep show (where you sit in the booth and put coins in to raise the blind and catch a glimpse of the model for a minute). He puts in his coin, watches the girl until his time runs out, then when he goes to put another coin in the slot he fumbles and drops it right into a puddle a festering jizz. But rather than cut his losses he tries to fish it out with his shoe and salvage it.

2) He solicits a street walker. She takes him down an alley where there's a parked moving van with a soiled mattress in the corner. She puts a condom on him then lies there silent and motionless while he does his thing, after which she takes his condom off and throws it into a corner with half a dozen other used condoms.

I was about 10 years old. This horrified me.

 

[trollnystan]

I never caught my parents boinking, but I DID catch my uncle and his wife.

Sit down, young'uns and I shall recite you a tale... whether you want me to or not.

As a kid I'd go and visit my mother's family in Ireland at least once a year. Usually I stayed at my Granny and Granda's house but occasionally I'd spend a night or two at one of my cousins. I'd often sleep in the same room as my boy cousins, who were around the same age or younger, because they had an extra bed in their room. Problem was, to get to their room you had to walk through my uncle and aunt's bedroom - very Elizabethan I know, but their house was actually only 10-15 years old at the time. The only one of my cousin's who had a room that had access to the stairs down without having to walk through someone else's room was the oldest of them, the girl, who's room I'd sleep in when she was away.

Anyway, one night I was lying awake trying to convince myself I didn't have to pee. Although I did. Really badly. Juggling my choices of having to get out of my lovely cosy bed to walk through a freezing house or peeing myself, I finally decided I was much too old for the latter (I was around 10 at the time). But as I'd finally decided that, my uncle came home; he was, still is I think, a lorry driver and he'd often be gone for days.

My aunt was still awake and I heard them talking. I didn't want to disturb them so I thought I'd wait until they fell asleep. BAD IDEA.

I snuck up to the door in anticipation of them falling asleep, because by now I really, REALLY had to pee, but instead got to overhear my uncle persuade my aunt to some marital coitus.

Now, I knew what sex was. I'd studied my parents' medical encyclopaedia, I'd read my paternal granny's romance novels, and I'd watched a few minutes of porn with my friends at a sleep-over. But STILL.

I sat there, bladder full to bursting, listening to the creak and bounce and moans on the other side of the door. So I made a decision. I opened the door only so far as I could squeeze through and CRAWLED across the floor at the foot of the bed and out the door to the landing. All while the image of my aunt's O-face was burned into my retina.

I then repeated the performance when I returned, but by then they'd finished and the lights were out, thank GOD.

I still can't believe I could look them in the eye the next morning without bursting into flames out of sheer embarrassment.

~FINIS~

Other than that? I've seen my Dad naked a few times, when he was too drunk to remember to put clothes on. And I used to stay up late to watch Freddy Kreuger movies when I was 12, but then my mother let me watch Poltergeist with her when I was 4 - that's probably worse yeah?