Most retarded thing you ever did

[SuperCombustion]

Because of the display of sheer idiocy I made earlier:
(forgetting my admin password and complaining to the escapist)
I'm asking you guys what is the single stupidest thing you ever did, and how much of an idiot you felt afterwards.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I thought I could fly when I was about 7.

Jumped off the top of my double decker bed, smacked my head on the floor.

Few weeks later, I do it AGAIN!

Jump off, faceplant, rip gums off teeth.

Felt like a right idiot, immediately after I was done screaming in pain.

 

[Cormitt]

Taking a 90 degree corner on a high over pass off ramp at 124 km/h, losing control in the turn and nearly driving through the guard rails (the big concrete barriers) on both sides of the road (which would have dropped the car about 20 meters). Fortunately however, the gods intervened and no damage to me, the car or my passenger. Although facing backwards into oncoming traffic during rush hour wasn't that enthralling.

So survived. Felt completely like an 1D10T.

 

[SuperCombustion]

Taking a 90 degree corner on a high over pass off ramp at 124 km/h, losing control in the turn and nearly driving through the guard rails (the big concrete barriers) on both sides of the road (which would have dropped the car about 20 meters). Fortunately however, the gods intervened and no damage to me, the car or my passenger. Although facing backwards into oncoming traffic during rush hour wasn't that enthralling.

So survived. Felt completely like an 1D10T.

Glad you didn't die ^_^

 

[Vie]

I shut one of the desktop computers at the college Library.

Literally put the flat screen monitor down flat on its screen on top of the desktop of the computer. I stood there looking at it for a second then slapped myself in the head and put it back as it was.

It was around that time I realised I liked my laptop too much.

 

[Best of the 3]

In the mornings I am a complete retard. Pouring orange into my corn flakes and milk in a cup happens a lot. Also putting the bowl in the bin when it should go in the sink has happend recently. Ths is why I hate mornings.

 

[Wardnath]

I'd rather keep it to myself, thanks.

 

[Phlakes]

I climbed on the roof of a pavilion thing that was impossible to get down from. So I had to jump.

 

[SuperCombustion]

I'd rather keep it to myself, thanks.

Its understandable

 

[hurfdurp]

These kind of incidents usually come about when I forget my surroundings and start insulting someone who is a stones throw away only to have it blow up in my face. I don't even talk often (perhaps for this very reason), but somehow the first things I want to say are usually rude. Slap on the wrist.

 

[CowboyfromHell666]

I tried to go through a revolving door that was at the entrance...and I pushed on the wrong side of said door.
This was followed by laughter from everyone around me and myself.

 

[Dango]

1. Jumped off my bunk bed.

2. Almost kill myself while tube sledding.

3. Forgotten I had hands...

 

[Communist partisan]

I said to my frends "Hey! look, I gonna throw this bottle in this carbage bin so it breaks!" and than I missed even if I was standing next to it making glass fly all around me on the street (I've done far worse but I won't say'em)

 

[Queen Michael]

There was this book I really wanted to read, but I hadn't even started reading it when it was due back to the library. So I returned it and decided to get it again the next day, but then it had disappeared! I still regret not reading it when I had the chance.

 

[Best of the 3]

Actually I have just thought of a better one. One holiday in Norway I was playing a game of tag with my two brothers inside the house (it was too cold to do it outside). It was great fun but as I chaced 1 of them into a room I tripped and slammed my chin on the wooden frame of the bed. Doing this caused my bottom teeth to go straight through my toungue. Hurt like hell but once I'd pulled m toungue off and stopped the bleeding it was alright.

The next day we god sledging in the snow. I went first on one of the little plastic sledges and had a good time. I fell off half way down so I went to get the sledge. As I crawled over to it I hit the rear end sending the front end to slam into my mouth, Tom and Jerry styley.

It chipped half of one of my teeth off and I sat there like an idiot looking for half of a tooth in the clear white snow. I didn't realise how pointless it was looking for it until the next day. Man I felt stupid.

 

[sharpshooter188]

wiped my ass with rubbing alcohol on a tissue once. No joke. oops.

 

[Daroesb]

I walked into a mirror once

 

[SuperCombustion]

I walked into a mirror once

I know how that feels... Except I then turned around and went slap-bang into the opposite wall.

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

Tried to sharpen my finger with a pencil sharpener. I was 7 at the time and hey I was an idiot.