My fellow Americans, its time to build a wall! But this time on the north!

[photog212]

My fellow Americans, as someone who lives and works in a major metropolitan area of the Midwest I have received terrible news. I have learned that once again all hope for spring and warmer weather will again be foiled by yet another cold front from our Northern neighbor. I for one have grown tired of scraping ice and shoveling snow, and of the bitter *****-slap that is winter. So I say we settle this the "American Way!" I propose we build a wall, the likes of which has never been seen! We prevent all fronts from coming in and let the Canadians wallow in their beloved cold! Sure we could move to warmer climates. But we're Americans! We don't do logical. Now, they may say its not their fault, but we must remain strong. So, I ask all of you here: Who's with me?!

(ps-I don't care if this is asinine, I'm sick of freezing my ass off and I need an outlet.)
(pps- this rant is not aimed at the Canadian people per se, except for Brad May who is an anus)

 

[rottenbutter]

So I say we settle this the "American Way!"

We're going to blow up Canada? I'll grab my C4!

(No offence to any Canadians, but I like blowing things, and according to this guy, blowing up Canada would make it less cold here)

Edit: edited to avoid any possible banning.

 

[gibboss28]

have you been watching Lewis Black?

 

[Rolling Thunder]

I'll be damned if I let you blow up Nova Scotia. Men of the commonwealth, to arms!

 

[Avatar Roku]

have you been watching Lewis Black?

I knew I'd heard this before.

 

[kellenheller]

I've dealt with Canada's frosty air my whole life and frankly, I'm sick of it. What are we building said wall out of? Ooh, we should use all the people who have an iq of less that 95. That would make the world a much better place honestly.

 

[photog212]

have you been watching Lewis Black?

I knew I'd heard this before.

Really? The idea came to me in a drunken haze, but it is possible one of his rants slipped into my psyche. Like the Ziggy episode of Seinfeld.

 

[forever saturday]

Since Americans cant be logical and fucking move to someplace warm (like I want to), I would like to point out that this wall has to be several miles high to work. If we must go to the destruction, then start with Alaska, because even Canada wouldn't notice if it was gone.

 

[thiosk]

YES YES YES TO THIS.

If we build the mexican wall too, it will halt climate change fo sho and then america will be the TRUE utopia rather than the de facto utopia it is today!

 

[Glerken]

Ya come on now, it would be ignorant to build a wall blocking Canada's cold air. What we need is a really big fan, that would push Mexico's heat to us!

 

[Madshaw]

So I say we settle this the "American Way!"

We're going to blow up Canada? I'll grab my C4!

i can happily tell you that you have your maths wrong, canada is too large to be defeated with c4 explosives, your country has the nuclear arsonal to manage it, but no amount of c4 will ever be particularly useful in the destruction of your northern neighbour

 

[teh_gunslinger]

Ya come on now, it would be ignorant to build a wall blocking Canada's cold air. What we need is a really big fan, that would push Mexico's heat to us!

This sounds so much like the way Prof. Farnsworth would solve the problem. He was always the go to guy for humorously oversized household appliances.

 

[sky14kemea]

I've dealt with Canada's frosty air my whole life and frankly, I'm sick of it. What are we building said wall out of? Ooh, we should use all the people who have an iq of less that 95. That would make the world a much better place honestly.

im not even from america and i agree XD
wall sounds cool you'll have to build it out of some thermal material though

Ya come on now, it would be ignorant to build a wall blocking Canada's cold air. What we need is a really big fan, that would push Mexico's heat to us!

This sounds so much like the way Prof. Farnsworth would solve the problem. He was always the go to guy for humorously oversized household appliances.

But i am already in my pajamas...

 

[sirdanrhodes]

So I say we settle this the "American Way!"

We're going to blow up Canada? I'll grab my C4!

But... Why Canada? Blow up Russia, for teh destruction lulz

 

[rottenbutter]

So I say we settle this the "American Way!"

We're going to blow up Canada? I'll grab my C4!

But... Why Canada? Blow up Russia, for teh destruction lulz

While skimming the post, all I read was we were going to deal all the cold coming from Canada the "American Way!" So he's telling us to blow up Canada, and make the cold stop.

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

As a former 'American' turned Canadian supporter, I do not favor this movement. Blowing up Canada doesn't make the cold stop. It only makes it colder. Because of all the iciness. Within our hearts. That will be there when Canada is gone.