My friend says the "Good guys come last" theory is BS

[pulse2]

Now, first of all, she's in a relationship, has been for years now. She says that that the ideals that some guys have about good guys getting the cold shoulder by girls is bs because if they were really that good, they would be taken already, that plenty of females are looking for a stable relationship with a reliable guy.

Her opinion on the fact that "girls often prefer guys that are bad boys" is this, they are far more confident, in themselves and in thier abilities so they stand out more and if one considers themself a good guy, they should prove it by demonstrating that they are within thier ability to be a dependable boyfriend / husband.

So what do you guys and girls think? Does she have a point, or is she missing something?

 

[AngelicSven]

It's all about how you carry yourself.

I'm definitely a good guy, but that doesn't mean I'm not confident about who I am or what I do.
I'm very confident in myself and what I'm capable of.

So, I think it's all an insecurity that those 'good guys' have and need to overcome, just like any mental hurdle. So, she right in the fact that these ideal 'good guys' would be taken in a second if they were exuding more qualities than just being nice. People hate this anwser because it means effort that guy's part to better himself instead of a 'They just don't see how great you are' pat on the back.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Well I think the vast majority of these so called great guys are shockingly misogynistic, by treating all women with contempt due to some personal rejection on their part. Instead of chalking it up to the fact that often someone just isn't into you, instead it's the fault of the entire female populace, who simply can't see how great they are.

So yeah, the kind of whiny guy who would proclaim nice guys finish last (in earnest) are just as annoying as the typical bad boys they complain about.

It is bullshit, in other words, yes.

 

[Penguinness]

I don't think there's one thing that all females like. There'll be those that prefer bad guys, those that like the idea of bad guys, and everyone else. Then you have to consider, what is a good guy, are they better than regular guys? Are you sure you're really a good guy?

It's all too.. subjective? I don't know.

 

[WolfEdge]

Well I think the vast majority of these so called great guys are shockingly misogynistic, by treating all women with contempt due to some personal rejection on their part. Instead of chalking it up to the fact that often someone just isn't into you, instead it's the fault of the entire female populace, who simply can't see how great they are.

So yeah, the kind of whiny guy who would proclaim nice guys finish last (in earnest) are just as annoying as the typical bad boys they complain about.

It is bullshit, in other words, yes.

Your Scott Pilgrim avatar sort of pulled all that together for me. I feel like I've really learned something today.

 

[PlasmaFrog]

She's missing a lot.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Well I think the vast majority of these so called great guys are shockingly misogynistic, by treating all women with contempt due to some personal rejection on their part. Instead of chalking it up to the fact that often someone just isn't into you, instead it's the fault of the entire female populace, who simply can't see how great they are.

So yeah, the kind of whiny guy who would proclaim nice guys finish last (in earnest) are just as annoying as the typical bad boys they complain about.

It is bullshit, in other words, yes.

Your Scott Pilgrim avatar sort of pulled all that together for me. I feel like I've really learned something today.

That's actually a rather ironic rant coming from Scott Pilgrim isn't it?

 

[HassEsser]

Girls don't like the idea of them preferring a bad boy over a good guy because it makes them look bad, so they deny it even though it is 100% true.

 

[Daveman]

Well, for starters I'd say that the confidence is arrogance really. I can have good confidence but I know who I am, I know I'm not ridiculously attractive, I know I'm not the coolest guy ever. I'm a realist basically. Giving people self-confidence is one thing but in order to gain that they have to have it given to them. People who give themselves confidence are just narcissistic douchebags who spend loads of time preening themselves. To believe in yourself despite what everyone else says is just called being delusional.

The fact is women are just as likely to be shallow. This is one area where we have total equality. It may not be boob size but it is just as petty.

edit: if I sound bitter it's because I am. The most priceless comment I've had said to me was by two girls who are my friends which was "If you were like 2 inches taller you'd be hot." Well thanks, so basically my biggest failing with women is the fact that I'm only 5'7". I wish I was fat because then I could actually fucking DO something about it.

Actually that's a lie, my biggest failing is being incredibly cynical ALL the time.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

im a "good guy", and i come last.

obviously its not true in EVERY case, but as a generalisation, i think so yes.

its true plenty of girls are looking for steady relationships, but as i have said many times on these forums theres alot more to it. and i cant be bothered to explain it AGAIN, so i'll leave it at that.

 

[EmperorSubcutaneous]

This is one of the best comments I've seen on the whole "nice guy" thing:

Seriously, it has nothing to do with how nice you are or are not. Guys who act like clingy, obsessive, underconfident stalkers who will hate you (and all your sex) forever if you don't return their obsessive "love" are not attractive. At least, not to sane people.

I had to date three of them before I realized that, because I used to buy into the "nice guy" thing. Then I wised up. A lack of confidence combined with whines of "But I'm a nice guy!" does not an actual nice guy make.

 

[-AC80-]

I have probably met 200-ish women since I hit the age of 16 and I have asked out 9 girls all to be rejected, friend zoned and manipulated all the time. I am the nicest guy in my group and I treat women like the goddesses they are, and you know what I am finishing so far last I haven't even left the starting gate (and the furthest I have ever gotten was kissing a girl who was so drunk she could only just about walk). I could show them so much and give them all the love in the world, but no, I have no confidence and refuse to make a move because of so many rejections I fear they will end the same way and hurt me. They destroy me at every attempt and make me feel like death every time I see them, but hey! I will keep trying until it kills me.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VSrnkiWaqSQ/TMdBQsCZScI/AAAAAAAAAZI/r7M0LAXkxW0/s1600/forever+alone+face.png

 

[Mr. Eff_v1legacy]

Like any issue this isn't black and white. Girls could say that only "bad girls" or "loose girls" get guys.
However I do believe that for the most part, through most of the teenage years and even after, girls are attracted to guys who give off the "bad boy" image.

 

[SovietSecrets]

I consider myself a good guy. I have met plenty of girls who I am just friends with, but 5/7 girls that I wanted to date said yes when I asked them out. I just realized that people mistake my stupidity and lack of caring as confidence. Its strange really, but I don't care. I think its just good guys are missing the confidence and just shooting themselves in the foot. Oh and the other two didn't turn me down because I was "A really good friend and I don't wanna lose that with you", but because they picked colleges far away and I decided to stay in the homeland. Good guys I beg of you, get more confidence and turn our terrible reputation around.

 

[XzarTheMad]

A lot of "good guys" are woefully inexperienced with social interactions, especially with women. Mix this with a lot of them having a set of ideas and "rules" that they believe is the "proper" way to treat women (being overly chivalrous, wanting to do everything for their partner, basically beleiving that women like to be treated as objects of affection rather than human beings) and add a dose of lacking self criticism, and you get a bunch of guys who try way too hard to be nice, without realising that what women want are partners who make them laugh, share their interests and who can be their friend as well as partners, not white knights who cater to their every whim and confine them to a life of sitting and looking pretty. In a way, a lot of these guys are very sexist without realising it, because they regard women as "women", not as "people".

Basically, these guys are trying way too hard. Sadly, they have such low standards, and are so inexperienced with love, that they see romance as a step towards sex, and never realize that a romantic relationship is built 90% around being friends. Genuine friends. That's why it's always better to be yourself and play with an open hand. If a girl likes what she sees, there's a good chance she'll want to be with you. And if you lack anything decent or socialable about you.. change.

 

[HassEsser]

Girls don't like the idea of them preferring a bad boy over a good guy because it makes them look bad, so they deny it even though it is 100% true.

You're confusing 'pussy/pansy' with good guy, and 'stands up for himself' with bad boy.

No, I'm not. I am saying the good guy is the guy who is nice to girls and listens to them, and I am saying the bad boy is the guy who has only one real motive, and their methods for ascertaining their motive makes chicks go for them. This is the truth for nearly all scenarios (inb4 over-generalization, I'm not saying it's the case all the time).

 

[CATS FTW]

HAH! But I am nice, I give away all my shit and help old people deliver mail I don't plan on it it just happens, in fact, the only positive trait I'm missing is modesty and I have no doubt that my hubris will be my down fall but I don't mind, not really anyway, because I'm happy seeing other people happy, really, I truly am, ah, awesomeness, sorry I was thinking about myself for a second.
PS For all those people that act like this on the internet but are very shy in real life, well, I'm not one of them, infact most of the time I drive my friends mad. But really, in all seriousness, I am a good person. But I suppose this thread is about "nice guys" whom I despise. There's nothing wrong with this role besides the fact that alot of them are really just putting on a show and are actually kind of fucked up.

 

[Daveman]

Like any issue this isn't black and white. Girls could say that only "bad girls" or "loose girls" get guys.

tbh, expecting anything else is like expecting people to buy candy when people are giving it away free.