My Girlfriend Cheated on Me

[Watchmacallit]

I found out this morning, from my girlfriend, that last night she let another guy kiss her.

Yeah I know...Only a kiss but she wanted it from another guy and I can't trust her anymore...She was so damn perfect too. We've only been together for 3 months and if this could happen while we are happy what will happen in a year...

What the fuck do I do?


Edit: I called her this morning and she told me. She feels guilty and wishes she could take it back but I have honestly been a great boyfriend. I pay for everything, drive her every where (she lives 40 minutes away from me by car), all her friends like me. I don't get angry, I don't hit her.

I SPOON HER EVERY NIGHT EVEN THOUGH I WAKE UP WITH A NUMB ARM! Like Jesus...

He's a friend of hers from work. He kissed her, she told me she could of stopped it but didn't.

I know it could be worse, I'm not an idiot but the fact that she did do it kind of destroys trust.


Every time she goes to talk to another guy what do I do? Believe in her like I did the first time? Is it possible to be in a happy relationship when every guy you meet is just another guy for her to hurt me with?

Also, I've never been jealous over her ex or male friends.

It was a "I like you kiss". Not old friends, not on the cheek.

She told me specifically that she can't be his friend because she would date him if I wasn't her boyfriend and that she wanted the kiss.



EDIT!:!:!:!:!: Thanks for the replies everyone. I really wish there was some miracle answer for this but as I guessed there isn't.

Its nice to see some people telling me I should get back with her.

I'm going to talk with her tonight. Try and sort it out...Who knows maybe I can get her to agree to a permanent leash?

That was a joke...I need one of those.

I realise there are people with much worse in their lives I just wanted some advice. I know it isn't the end of the world.

 

[Thaluikhain]

You could talk to her about it. Relationships don't always run perfectly, you sometimes have to work at them.

 

[spartan231490]

She told you, probably because she feels guilty. It's not gonna be easy to rebuild trust, but for god's sake it's just a kiss. Forgive her and move on. Especially if: "she was so perfect too." If that's the case then you can't let little kiss that she felt bad about later ruin you're relationship. People make mistakes, that's part of being human.

 

[Shadowpro3]

Here comes some bland and cliche advice! Talk to her. Ask her what made her want to kiss that other guy. Dont be ready to give up too quickly.

 

[Commissar Sae]

If she seems remorseful, give her another chance. If she was rubbing it in your face then dump her. Relationships have their ups and downs, you have to work at it and learn to forgive to a degree. Make sure she knows she'll have to work to earn your trust back though.

 

[Kahunaburger]

Don't ask the internet for advice. You know her better than we do.

Spoiler: My opinion - take it with a massive grain of salt because I am basing it only on what you wrote in the post and not what you know.

Dump her. Someone who cheats is going to be dishonest in other ways. There are plenty of other people out there who won't cheat on you.

 

[Watchmacallit]

I did nothing wrong. I've blown about $2000 on her the last 3 months, I drive her every where. She spent the last week at my place, went home for work and let the guy that gave her a lift home after work a kiss because she wanted it.

Also, if it wasn't for me she would date him but she wants me...

 

[Dr. Pepper Unlimited]

Break up with her? Sorry, that's just what I would do; I don't forgive actions like that. I don't know either of you at all so I can't really help other than to repeat what most will tell you - talk to her, figure out why she did what she did and then either forge an effort to rebuild that broken trust, or walk away from the relationship.

 

[L33tsauce_Marty]

Personal experience: Do not be mad at her if she feels guilty about. Talk to her and work it out. I've saved my own relationships from much worse.

 

[Vern5]

I found out this morning, from my girlfriend, that last night she let another guy kiss her.

Yeah I know...Only a kiss but she wanted it from another guy and I can't trust her anymore...She was so damn perfect too. We've only been together for 3 months and if this could happen while we are happy what will happen in a year...

What the fuck do I do?

Frankly, you should count yourself lucky that it was only a kiss AND she had the decency to tell you. I have seen and been a party to much MUCH worse things happening. Of course, by all means, be upset, just don't let this particular affront to your relationship cloud your judgment. Again, things could be so much worse for you right now.

The important factors of this come down to "Why". Why did she kiss that guy? Was it her decision or his? Was she under any kind of influence either chemical or psychological? And where, exactly, were you for this happening?

There are a lot of details missing from this report. You will need to have them all before you can act.

EDIT: You spent 2k on this girl in 3 months? Are you sure she isn't playing you? This relationship you have sounds a tad unfair in that aspect, at least.

 

[tthor]

killing spree!!

Edit: frankly, feel lucky that she's honest enough to talk to you about it. I say just talk to her and go from there.

 

[Watchmacallit]

I found out this morning, from my girlfriend, that last night she let another guy kiss her.

Yeah I know...Only a kiss but she wanted it from another guy and I can't trust her anymore...She was so damn perfect too. We've only been together for 3 months and if this could happen while we are happy what will happen in a year...

What the fuck do I do?

Frankly, you should count yourself lucky that it was only a kiss AND she had the decency to tell you. I have seen and been a party to much MUCH worse things happening. Of course, by all means, be upset, just don't let this particular affront to your relationship cloud your judgment. Again, things could be so much worse for you right now.

The important factors of this come down to "Why". Why did she kiss that guy? Was it her decision or his? Was she under any kind of influence either chemical or psychological? And where, exactly, were you for this happening?

There are a lot of details missing from this report. You will need to have them all before you can act.

A kiss I can get over...But how can I trust her around any guy again?

 

[Eri]

Could be worse. She could've cheated on you with a 40 year old for months before you found out. Not that that happened to me or anything.

 

[Vern5]

A kiss I can get over...But how can I trust her around any guy again?

You keep saying she wanted that kiss. She specifically said that?

 

[Odbarc]

The better question is how you found out. If this guy is bragging to you about it, he could be lying.
If she told you, it's not really about her being dishonest at all. It would be more about your jealous and the threat against your monogamous ideals.

 

[Lt. Vinciti]

take her to a nice place

explain the situation

stand up
tell her to GTFO

Also:
Sorry you were tardy to the party

 

[Silvianoshei]

Break up with her? Sorry, that's just what I would do; I don't forgive actions like that. I don't know either of you at all so I can't really help other than to repeat what most will tell you - talk to her, figure out why she did what she did and then either forge an effort to rebuild that broken trust, or walk away from the relationship.

This is what I would do. I never dated my fiance though. I'm wierd like that...I never messed around with relationships. As soon as I knew that she was the one, I asked and was asked all the hard questions (kids, lifestyle, work) and we got engaged. If you find something you want, lock it down. If she's not interested in a long term relationship, then don't waste your money or time on her. You'll just end up in pain.

That's just me, obviously. You can talk it out or whatever. I just don't see the point of messing around when someone could end up hurt. There are no "perfect" people, and it doesn't help when we view relationships as superficial. For me, if you don't want commitment and loyalty, I'm not interested.

PS. That guy is a douche bag. You don't touch someone else's girl. If he doesn't care that he is party to her cheating on you, then clearly he isn't worth her time. I hope your girlfriend understands that.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

If the information in your profile is to be believed, you're twenty, so let me give you a piece of advice I always try to keep in mind myself. YOU'RE STILL PRETTY DAMN YOUNG. HAVE SOME PERSPECTIVE. As people grow up they mature (somewhat), but when we're young we still do stupid things we shouldn't have done. Why have you blown $2000 on a girl you've been with for three damn months? That's enough money to pay for my rent for like half a year. Do you really think that's a healthy way to be involved in a relationship at this age? I'm going to guess she's pretty damn young too, so keep in mind you're probably not the only one who makes stupid immature decisions.

Now don't get me wrong here. I have the misfortune to work at WalMart as a cashier, and if I can tell you one thing I've observed in my time there, it's that the beings we refer to as "mature grown ups" are extremely rare. When you're in a relationship, especially when you're young, it's way too easy to let the emotions get in the way of thinking about what you're doing. This girl isn't thinking about things, but considering how much you've spent on her, it seems like you're practically throwing yourself at her.

Why are you so worried about trusting her? If I had spent as much on a girl I'd been with for three months, I would take a step back and realize that I shouldn't even trust myself. So if I were you, I'd sit down with myself, and just think. What is it about this girl that attracted you to her? Is it something real? Or did you just get caught up in the moment and jump a little too deep into the pool? After I had that long think, I'd sit down with her, and have a long serious talk. Not getting angry, or crying, or getting overly emotional in any way. A mature talk, like the adults we speak of in our legends might have. And after you both decide how you really feel, then it's up to you and her to make a decision.

 

[Jewrean]

The Sensitive Answer:
Figure out whether or not you truly TRUST her. If you do, then she will never do anything stupid like it again and you two will be happy. If you even have the smallest bit of doubt then break up. It will save a lot of heart ache down the track.

The Pig-headed Chauvinistic answer:
Same as above but stay with her longer anyway until something better and more trust-worthy comes along. Keep 'Spooning' except do it for yourself and not her.