Name one character from any medium that pisses you off, and describe how you would beat them.

[gostlyfantom]

sister ariel the ***** wytch: the night angel trilogy. why? because she is a selfish manipulative *****.

 

[XandNobody]

Shinji Ikari. No one else can compare. Ever. He must be hit upside the head with a bomb, twice a day, without a condom.

Why? Because he had a reasonable reaction to the life he had and the situations he was forced into?

His reasonable reaction clause ran out when it was clear that inaction, meant that he, and everyone else he knew, would die. And his reaction was, inaction. He even realized this when he had his classmates inside the plug with him during that one fight, he knew that inaction meant people he knew would die. His final solution? Fuck people, lets all die.

I've got one better. In Rebuild 2.22, he started instrumentality just to get Rei out of the Angel that ate her and EVA Unit 00.

On to my counterpoint (which also applies to my Rebuild instance): despair. Again, perfectly reasonable reaction. There was no foreseeable end to the fighting (from his less than omniscient perspective) and humanity was utterly doomed anyway. You may not consider that a sufficient reason to abstain from fighting, but I was never about to change your mind. I understand that now.

Honestly, you changed my mind more than you know. Managed to watch 2.22 EVA, wasn't using it in my argument just then, but that was more out of a purest mantra than anything else. In the original EVA, my argument stands. In the new 1.02 and 2.22? I have to bow out and admit that for once in my life, Shinji went bad ass, bad the ****-ass, and is worthy of my watching for once. Him saving Rei? Best time in EVA sine Asuka's first "Baka". Even better, really.

 

[BabyRaptor]

I can't watch anime in the original Japanese. The girls all sound like they're having orgasms every time they speak.

Brandon Sanderson, the writer finishing the Wheel of Time series for the late Robert Jordan. Not a character, really, but he writes them, so I can make it work.

I just can't stand what he's doing to the series. Towers of Midnight is not cannon in my (admittedly counting for Fuck all) opinion, and I know quite a few other fans who feel the same.

How would I kill him? Well, I'd let him finish the series first. We've all been waiting too long for it, even if it will be...Meh. Plus, that would give me time to plot, because right now I have nothing.

 

[ConvincingJohn]

Seth (Jonah Hill) from Superbad. He was so irredeemably selfish and annoying. Yeah I know, that was kinda the point of the character, but he pretty much ruined the movie for me.

Probably just flick his ear, every time he opens his mouth.

 

[neilsaccount]

Bobby Kotick, and give him a good shiv in the kidney. Also chicks that play guitar hero or Halo for a few minutes and think they have a good grasp on what gaming is. That would be my knee connecting with you're nose.

 

[Firetaffer]

That Egon Stetmann guy from Starcraft 2.

Gawd he gets on my nerves, sounds like a whiny 13 year old for some reason and generally really annoying, having NOTHING interesting to say at all.

If it was only me and him, I would leap from wall to wall, before proceeding to land a flying kick on his face as he tries to outrun the awesome might of Firetaffer, as he gets up I would land a series of hard hitting blows, breaking his glasses and throwing him on the floor on a wave of agony. He would then attempt to hit me, but I act cool and dodge his feeble attempts before finally standing still and watching as he 'hits' me. He would hit me and his hand would go through me, and say 'What?!' I would then appear behind him, my decoy having have worked and ,unleashing the flurry of a thousand dragons, grab him from behind then heave him over my shoulders onto the wall behind me, with a massive THUD he would fall down, say something unfunny, then get up to kick my balls. But alas, my balls are made of stainless steel and the kick just hurt his foot. He hops around pathetically before I use my Hammer blessed by The Builder himself and whack him in the face 'SMASH' we would fall unconscious, I would then crush him with my boot, Dead Space 2 style, bye bye Egon Stetmann.

 

[Canid117]

Carth

With a Crowbar


To death...

 

[Jennacide]

Hope from FFXIII, and I'd beat that whiny little ***** with his own boomerang.

I'd post a pic of him, but god he fills me with rage just looking at him, how he makes me want to punch a kitten.

I want to kill pretty much every character in all Final Fantasy games that were after FFIX.

That's just too broad. That means you'd want to murder Auron and Balthier, two of the best characters out of SE in a very long time. I don't disagree with a lot of the rest though. In particular, if I could I'd beat Vanille to death with a dildo, just cause I've always wanted to do that since I saw it in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

Also, Naruto. He couldn't die enough times to satisfy my bloodlust.

 

[AndersRU]

I would kill everyone from evangelion by riping out there spine and beat them with it because the ending makes no sence...

 

[StBishop]

Seth (Jonah Hill) from Superbad. He was so irredeemably selfish and annoying. Yeah I know, that was kinda the point of the character, but he pretty much ruined the movie for me.

Probably just flick his ear, every time he opens his mouth.

I thought he was a loveable and relatable character. Maybe because I had a friend like him who I think was awesome.

 

[AndersRU]

Near, from Death Note. I know it's wrong of me to do, because he's a kid, but I would take a lead pipe to his skull repeatedly and keep it up until he was unrecognizable.

When your done with the pipe, Misa's next.

Too true. Misa's definitely second though, because at least hearing her say "Yagami" (at least in the Japanese version) doesn't piss me off.

Don't forget about the main guy. He's a *****. Can't be happy with an ageless super model, a good looking future, the ability to get any girl, and a book that makes people die. No it's," I'm going to be a God!!!" how has that worked in the past? He's such a whiny *****, plus crim isn't that bad in Japan.

The god complex really was his undoing. If he'd focused on creating a peaceful world without bothering with trying to be the god of that world, he'd have been fine, or at least not given himself away in the long run. And I can understand why he wouldn't be happy with Misa. He needs someone more intellectually stimulating.

.

He's still a little *****

If you watch the end of Death note would you notice that Light died and if he didn't would he be insane and loose all his fame.

 

[York_Beckett]

Orphen from that Scion of Sorcery game.

Why?
Because he is a God-level douchebag, and not even the likeable kind of video game douchebag. Also, his voice actor delivers every single line with such an insane amount of smugness it could beat the Alpha Protocol guy.

How would I beat him? ... I would probably punch him in the face.

 

[Vault101]

Caesar from Fallout New Vegas

with rebar club

 

[mythlover20]

Christine, from "Phantom of the Opera" She is a young 20 something woman in the movie and in the plays are around 40 or so, but a 6 year old who acted the way she does would be considered bloody stupid! For a 40 year old woman to believe the voice coming up through the vent from the bloke who is stalking her is the voice of an angel sent by her father/is her father (changes from point to point in the play), requires a level of stupidy that I don't think the human species is actually able to achieve any longer.

Granted Phantom is set late 1800s when europe was still overtly religious, but COME ON! People were still smarter than THAT! Personally I think Christine is an oxygen theif who deserves to die a slow, lingering, TORTUOUS DEATH for being SO F******G STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

I would kill everyone from evangelion by riping out there spine and beat them with it because the ending makes no sence...

Did you see End of Evangelion? If you have not, I humbly ask you do so. I ties up quite a few loose ends. I'm not asking you to like it, just to finish it.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

Pretty much any villain that has ever had the good guys completely in their grasp, with several perfect opportunities the kill them and succeed in their taking over of the world or whatever, but then doesn't do it just... because... for some contrived reason they have to stave off world domination for another week, as to prolong the run of the series.

Why won't the Joker kill Batman? Is it because Batman is unbeatable?! NO!! It's because if Joker kills Batman the series would end. So Joker has to not kill Batman, for the sole reason the reason that the real-life writers artists need to guarantee they'll have a job next month. Eurgh. Whenever real life creeps into fiction, it's about as natural and unnoticeable as a dump truck in the middle of a greenhouse.

 

[Frostbyte666]

MIO from Rogue Galaxy I would give her a warning though along the lines of:

"If you say like, or ask a really stupid question, OR get me thrown in a prison again, I will take this very large sword I am holding and shove it down your throat. Do you understand?"
"Like, whatever."
"THAT DOES IT!"
*SHOVE, GLITCH*

 

[Colour Scientist]

Summer from the later seasons of Buffy. I hate her so much, she's the most useless character ever invented, ever!
She's the only television character that makes me properly angry, she just shows up and complains about everything and nothing.

Weapon of choice: A plank with a nail in it. A really big nail.